Thursday, 11 September 2014

Conversations with One: Thank God for 'Missed' Opportunities! (30Days of Praise Day 11)

Hello good people of God!!

Welcome to another edition of Conversations with One!!

Basically, Conversations with One is a chat-series on the blog.
Each week, the 1 + TheOne panel (made up of beloved and very wise friends with a variety of personalities) and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. We talk about any and every thing!!

Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

You can have a look at last week's conversation where in the spirit of the month of Praise, we thanked God for some of the great attributes of our spouses/significant others. You can read it and other previous episodes HERE.

Sooo, this week on Conversations with One, our topic is given by Mr Agbalagba-ski (*phew*) and we ask:

"Is there a relationship that you want to thank God for that didn't start aka 'missed opportunities'?"

Many people are familiar with that famous saying "Every disappointment is a blessing".. More than that, I remember and love Romans 8:28 which says "And we know that ALL things work together for the good of those that are the called and that love God".. 

Sometimes, a particular relationship doesn't quite start (as you may have wanted) / or quite lead to 'forever after' but with the benefit of hindsight, you are able to thank God very much for it.. (Even if at that time it was not a funny situation at all!)..
So let's conver-sate.. As always, we start off the discussion and I hope that you'll join in too by leaving your comments!


Mr NumeroUno: Az in! Ehn! This topic is from Heaven. How do I know? I have been thanking God since yesterday for all the 'bullets I dodged' lol
Az in I cannot thank God enough!
Time is really an interesting teacher. 

Weave-ohh (who remembers that lol)
Mr Agbalagbaski: I totally agree, there's been a lot of times I agree with you bro, too many dodged and misguided bullets..........

I remember one time, there was this girl that I tell you I thought was sent from heaven, as in agbabiaka ooooooo, wolf whistle tinz when we first met (btw I am not telling you where). I tell you, I heard angels singing the Halleluyah Chorus with an Azonto feel to it.........

She ticked all the boxes -
- She is a born-again Christan, so am I,
- She's a worker in church, so am I,
- She's very dedicated, so am I
- She's very Posh, so errrrrmmmmm
- She's very attractive, Errrrmmm pass
- She's very high class, Ermmmmmmm.. To God be the glory lol
When we speak!!!! Eh!!! I tell you this girl makes serious correct sense!!!

Well let's get to the point, I was head over heels or heels over head, you pick one....
We were both very attracted to each other, did what Christians do when you first start talking to someone you kinda are reaallllyyyyy feeeling..
(DID YOU SAY WHAT'S THAT?!!!!!) I no dey Tell!!!!!!!!

I was very SURE of this Girl sha !!!!!!

Well what am I thankful for?

1. That God gave me great Counsellors, My Pastor (Pro 11:14)
2. Though she ticked all MY boxes, our destinies were not the same (1 Cor 6:12)
3. God's perfect will, not his permissive
4. That she's happily married now (to someone else lol)
The list goes on!!!!!!

One: Wow. That's really deep. Thank you very much for sharing this + highlighting lessons learnt and scripture references.  A blessing indeed.

Mr Numero Uno: Thanks Mr Agbalagbaski for the insight. Let me also use a scripture to paint the picture of dodging 7 (hypothetical) bullets, lol.
I'm thankful because like Samuel when he saw Eliab, I would assume SURELY the Lord's anointed is before me, and then God will squash it. And like God told Samuel...Not this one, then After Eliab, Abinadab- Nope! Then Shammah comes along, still NO!
Aka "Where is DAVID?!"
The lesson this story has taught me personally is simple. Even those who hear from God like the Prophet Samuel, can make the wrong assumptions, and may even attempt to anoint the wrong individual. In fact, on 7 occasions, as it was in Samuel's case. (1 Samuel 16:1-13)

I hope somebody springs up thanksgiving from that because, maybe guys have come, and there was this one that was as tall and as handsome as Eliab, and you might have thought, SURELY this is he, and before you say "Jack Robinson", it doesn't work out! And when you get that assurance from within, he is there somewhere, then comes Abinadab, and Shammah, and all the other 4, and it simply appears as though 'the one' is out of sight. I think that deserves thanksgiving because anointing the wrong fellow prematurely could be a recipe for disaster. 

From experience, time has taught me that all that glitters is not gold.
When I look back at who I thought I wanted, or was 'the one' and what I see now, I can't tell you how grateful I am to God for the relationships that never came to be or didn't work out.

One: Can I double 'like' your comment? I am learning a lot from this conversation. Thank you.

Hmmmm.. So even Samuel could miss it too. This made me think about my own Eliabs and Abinadabs. I had thought "SURELY, this is the anointed of the Lord.... Mehn, no prayer point needed.. Just behold the glo-rayyy!" :-)... but God said no.

How could someone this foineee not be God's will for me?? *wink* hehe
Now, imagine if Israel had missed David?! Imagine if the world had missed David?! *Thank YOU Jesus!!*

Ms PYT: Hello people! As far as I can remember, there's really no relationship I wanted real bad that I have to thank God for not working out. The case for me though is that I can actually thank God for relationships that were not worth it all. Thank God I was bold enough to end relationships I was not comfortable with.

One: Thanks a lot for that Ms PYT. That in itself is worthy of thanks - the grace to count your losses and move on. And thank God they cleared the way for hubby too :-)

Any more ladies and gents?

NubianPrincess: Me! Me!! Me!!!

I thank GOD in a hugeeee way for helping me 'dodge the bullet' on two very special occasions!

Both times, it was an almost-instantaneous answer to a heartfelt prayer, and I remember both incidences very clearly!

The first time, I was at Church on a Thursday afternoon. And out of a restlessness in my spirit, I prayed a simple "Please God, if this man is not my husband, please take him away and don't make me feel hurt"... Less than half an hour later, I was single and free... And I went for a party that day. :) Not like I didn't feel the sense of loss, but considering the amount of time we'd spent together, the energy I'd put into the relationship, it was a miracle I didn't feel worse or commit suicide! :) Looking back, I can see how the fellow was all kinds of wrong for ME!

Sometimes it's just too complicated! 
On the second occasion, I prayed during a weekend Church retreat. The prayer went something like "Please God, I really, really, really like this guy! He's saying all the right things and if You don't give me a firm answer by the end of this weekend, I'm going to jump in headfirst and that will be it!"... I got back home on Sunday afternoon, and a few hours after I got home, my phone beeped. It was a text from his "watchamacallit" (that is precisely how she introduced herself), saying we needed to talk urgently. Needless to say, I dodged a canon with that one! :) I was looking back recently - he came back to see if we could start a 'relationship', and the dude was still all kinds of wrong! I'd matured spiritually, emotionally, mentally but he was right where I'd left him... And wasn't particularly interested in growing. (He did have pots of money though!) Loool!

My point? Sometimes, we see a great thing, great packaging like NumeroUno said earlier and we want so badly for this to be him! But sometimes, all we need to do is scratch a little deeper and we see the dude isn't real gold, he's just gold-plated.

I want to encourage every single lady whose heart has been broken at one time or the other and who may feel like her man will never come... Hang in there! God's not sleeping and He's not deaf! Sometimes, He needs to do a work in you and sometimes, He needs to a do a work in your man! Be patient, be happy and be fulfilled... Your God-sent man is on the way! (Sorry One, this was NOT brief!)

MissMe: Hmm Nubian you might have to write a book on all your experiences in life! They are always so on point! :)

The men on this panel are obviously Pastors in the making (if they are not there already!!) Such wonderful, godly perspectives every time!!!!

Right, my relationship-not-proceeded-thanksgiving-prayer-point is during a phase in my life that I'm thinking "Err Me what the heck where you thinking?!". It involved someone that was all manners of wrong. Attitude/habits/direction in life were significantly missing. Like spiritual glasses or not, he was a firm NO. But alas I still tried to pursue. But my God being who He is literally moved me to a different city to save me from making a HUGE mistake!

So I'm definitely thanking God for that "missed opportunity". 

No, don't go there love
One. MissMe, Thank God! By any means possible even if it means a change of location lol. Thank God indeed.

Ms MIA: Ok, you know how God just clears the way for a heavenly blessing and when it happens you're like Wahhhhhh???? Say wahhhh?? Lord na you be dis????

Story goes....
Guy rings me to introduce himself and from the first conversation (which lasted an hour...*bulgingeyes*), I could feel he was making sense at least in the physical sense (My mother says that "the eyes ought to eat before the mouth" - means that I have to like what I see first).
Guy has a great job, very interesting to hear about and he's certainly going places (financially stable- check). He's 6ft tall (height-check). He's 'a good guy', so no drinking, no bad company, likes being at home and cooks (tell me about husband He's very positive about life and an achiever. So I'm there thinking, thank you Lord for sending this one my way!
One week into our 'giggles' and 'get to know' and of course I had started to pray and ask God to categorically say is it or is it not (yes I wanted - 'The Voice'), the character begins to unfold and I'm there looking at the non-negotiables popping out.

I sat there saying, I'm going to be a nice girl and not assume things and give this person a chance to prove me wrong and maybe 'change'? And all the sort that God was probably saying 'Noooooooo' to! Until God SHOUTED! Yes He did.

I rang my friend and sister and gave her the low down, and very typical of her, she asked the deep questions that even I was afraid to think about and next thing she says "NO! He's not the one! Can't you see this and that and don't you hear that and that?". At that moment it was just clear to me. I heard loud and clear!

Thank God that I heard Him and took the decision to 'dodge' because day after, My Promise came.....Yayyyyyyy!

Dancing and singing...'I am grateful oh Lord' :)

Thank God for closed doors and THE open door :-)
Thank God for closed doors too
One: Mehn, I know what it means to ignore all the signs and just try and 'encourage yourself' to just give it a go lol.. Thank God for His mercy that said NO! 

Thank You Jesus. Even when we were stiff-necked and thought "This way or no way", You were still merciful and patient enough to ensure that we got your best. Thank YOU!


What's your story? Do you have an experience you'd like to praise God for too? Please share! xx

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)


  1. Thanks Ayo, you make me look forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays with so much relish. I love the convo participants too, thanks for being honest. I've rally learnt so much from these series.
    Thanks for your blog too.

    1. Thanks dear! I am really glad you've found it useful.. I have to say that I have been enlightened by it myself and I'm grateful for all the panelists and their honesty!
      Thanks hun xx

  2. I enjoyed this convo and the great lessons shared. It's funny that when we decide to exercise our sense of charity in relationships and give someone a second chance, that's when we really shouldn't lol.

    I was especially struck by the reminder of Samuel's story and by the need for us to keep God in the loop throughout the entire process of finding the right man for us. To the convo participants who have found their God-given spouse, I thank God with you!

    1. Amen!
      That's so right! The ones you 'give a chance' are usually not worth the investment... lol
      Some people are though, may God open our eyes!
      As in, I cannot forget that Samuel analogy.. Too much

  3. Lovely responses from the panel. Love the Samuel example 😊

  4. really cant thank God enough for dodging bullets.

  5. I thank God for all the missed opportunities o hmmmmm (although at the time i asked 'why me') who knows where i would have been if i didn't listen *shivers* i shall not think abourit no mores.

    1. Yes ma'am...
      Thank God for everything and all situations.. He knows best and He sees what we don't! xx

  6. Oh I learnt so much through "almost relationships" that did not start / work out!!

    1. You get more of an idea which kind of person you actually want. In one "almost relationship" there was a particular thing that was missing, yet I could not put my finger on it and name it. Yet, during and after saying "No", it just became clear to me that...- o it sounds stupid but anyway - I actually would love to have someone where I can not just talk deep-deep, but be silly and playful with. I was never really aware of this my behaviour and desire before!

    2. You learn to trust and distrust your senses lol To make decisions, to pray etc. Things that seem to be so clear in the moment can seem ridiculous or far-fatched from a certain distance. Learn to remove yourself emotionally (from a situation) and to pray and think with a clear mind.

    3. You learn to be more grateful for each person and chapter in your life. You realize that not every good girl is potential "wife material", but a precious sister in the Lord with her very own story and background.

    I once was considering a girl where in the end I was happy it did not work out. Still, in that process I learnt to trust God, to consider her own situation, to empathize with it (e.g. what does SHE want, where is she, is she ready etc. - it's not just about me and what would 'suit' me!) and to remain a good friend. Actually I am going to attend her wedding tomorrow and I am really looking forward to it :)

    Thx for the great topic and the many insights shared :)

    1. My wise friend, thanks a lot for your comment and for sharing your experiences/lessons too.
      It's so true that many times, relationships give us more insight to who we are!
      I was just nodding at your points.
      I am glad that you and the lady remained friends and you can look back knowing that even though she wasn't for you romantically, you can still see a sister (in Christ) in her.. That for me is really important.

    2. Very wise Sebastian. I agree on all points.

  7. **Sigh** If I had to start thanking God for missed Opportunities... I would type an epistle of 10000 words and that would be just a story....hehe....either way...we learn and we move on...hows you mami...

    1. Lool... Tibs, I would be one of the first people to buy that book! I would probably laugh till I cry! Hehehe
      I'm great mami! Hope exams are not stressing you out at all?! You need a holiday afterwards me thinks :-) xx

  8. Mr Agbalagbaski got me laughing too much. Hahahaha. Sometimes, we see a great thing, great packaging and we want so badly for this to be him! But sometimes, all we need to do is scratch a little deeper and we see the dude isn't real gold, he's just gold-plated...this part got me. This post got me thanking God for missed opportunities. I thank God for things that didn't work out in my life and people that left cos they were only preparing me for what I am today and what I'll be tomorrow. Nice one Ayo..tis convo is on point

    1. Thank God! You are right, thank God because not only were they not right for you but the experience also helped in shaping the woman you have become.. Thank God :-) xx

  9. Great convo. Have been extremely blessed. Comforting, educative, deep. Surely, God's love continues to guide us. I say even for those who went head-long and later ended up in divorce, may God continue to lead you and direct you and according to His word, "for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again,...." Prov. 24:16. He will never leave nor forsake you in Jesus name.

    1. Amen... What a comforting thought.. God's love is deep and it helps us to keep rising, never staying down. Thank you so much for your comment xx

  10. Yes o. I thank God to. Maybe I would have been in an emotionally abusive marriage, after marrying at the age of 23, lol. Tufia

    1. Thank GOD!! Atilola, abusive marriage ke?And stifling the great gifts of God in your life.. Thank You Jesus for saving you (and us!) xxxx

  11. Thank God for missed opportunities, I remember one time I got a very tempting offer with a competitor Bank, it was so irresistible, I just couldn't say No, however, I never got a confirmation to leave where I was from God , but the temptation was so great, I felt it was the change I was uneasy about. A day before my resumption, I was so uneasy in my spirit, I knew I couldn't resume the next day so I called up my contact and told him I wanted to visit him. I went with my Hubby to see him and explained the uneasiness to him. thank God he was a Christian too and understood.

    fast forward to some months down the line and the Bank had gone in CBN abi na AMCON had taken over, there was massive downsizing and even my contact was was like a dream , meanwhile I was promoted in my office like twice in the space of one year during this same period.....jeeeezzzzz....anytime I remember that period, I thank God that I was sensitive enough in my Spirit.

    1. Hmmm. thank you for this great reminder that it's not only in relationships that God saves us, but in every day decisions.

      I will never forget a book I read, written by Toyin Opebiyi, titled 'A Resolution for Restoration'. She shared how she prayed so hard to God for a particular job at the top Investment Bank, Meryll Lynch and did all the faith walks and talks.. Alas, she didn't get it, she got another bank job with a company that was good but less 'desirable'.

      Well guess what? The recession came and only a few months down the line, the bank she wanted so badly to work for collapsed and was taken over by.. guess which bank?? Her new place of work - Bank of America!!

      It was a real shock.. No one expected such a 'solid' bank to fail but it did and God ensured that she still technically worked there but now, through a more secure and better avenue (Bank of America acquired Meryll Lynch!) That testimony like yours, gives me goose bumps like - this God is real!! AWESOME God!

      Once we have prayed, we have to trust His judgement xx

  12. Great topic. I enjoyed reading the experiences shared and I can relate to quite a few of them. The greatest lesson is knowing that all that glitters is not gold... someone in the "panel' used the term it may just be gold plated. So so true. May God help us and give us spiritual insight and wisdom.

    1. Amen my sister.. May God give us insight, and the grace to trust and obey Him always xx

  13. Great convo I especially loved the Samuel example. I have dodged many bullets over the years, and for me what's amazing is that I didn't even have a relationship with God. I was that kind of Christian who is still lost you know, groping in the dark with no direction whatsoever but God still thought of me as His precious daughter and saved me not once but a number of times. I guess he was tugging at my heart trying to lead me to the light. I praise God because even though I wasn't worthy of his mercies and grace He didn't abandon me. Nowadays now that I have seen the light lol, if I meet a guy I like the one I think has all the qualities I take to the Lord in prayer first because He has to give the okay before I proceed. Thanks One for this wonderful convo.

    1. Thanks for sharing hun... Your decision is so wise - taking it to God in prayer first.. It helps a lot and it gives God pleasure too..
      May God give the grace and insight to make the right choice xx

  14. I have dodged too many bullets...sometimes i got hit but i was able to recover fast and leave
    your blog has helped me in soo many ways

    1. I like the fact that you said that you got hit sometimes (I have too - not once! lol) but I am grateful to God for the grace to recover!
      Thanks dearie! We need to catch-up! xx

  15. I love what Ms PYT said.. She was like:

    Ms PYT: Hello people! As far as I can remember, there's really no relationship I wanted real bad that I have to thank God for not working out. The case for me though is that I can actually thank God for relationships that were not worth it all. Thank God I was bold enough to end relationships I was not comfortable with.

    I totally believe that everyone comes into our life for a purpose. You know, some to make us, some to break us, and some to scar us. Cause thinking about it, we have to experience the REALLY bad, to know what the REALLY Good will actually look like. So thats my piece, be Grateful for the ""Dodged Bullets"" **in One + THE ONE'S voice, and use them to expect greater things for the Bullet you are willing to accept.

    P.S: Nice one Bubba, it was a very exciting read, and i issue it a thousand and one likes...But Mr. John Nash is still MIA :(

    1. Very true.. I don't think I regret the experiences that God has allowed me to pass through (and overcome!).. It's all part of what has moulded and built me.. Would I have wanted it differently - Oh sure!! I could do without the hurt, but looking back, I am extremely grateful :-)

      Thanks my dearest JohnDBeloved.. I passed your message on to JohnNash.. He apologises for his absence.. Na busy-ness... On a real though, both of you will get along like a house on fire.....
      I should do an introduction - He is very driven like you are, intelligent, interested in girl-matters (not in a bad way lol) and very deep.. So just say the word and I am sure intros can be made :-) xx

  16. I can look back and shout, holler in praise to God for missed opportunities right now.He is always faithful.infact, there is one experience I should even update on my blog. I will get to it

    Thanks for sharing this.

    1. Thank God oh!!
      Please update! I look forward to reading xx

  17. #Thankful jare
    Let's wait and see who Yahweh will anoint to be the one.
    I just do my best not to get attached to anyone
    My fingers got burned and I got a reputation for myself and every eager reporters.
    It taught me that you can't trust everyone, even men of the cloth so I am not marrying a pastor and not too eager to confide in pastors. Me and God are good enough except the Holy Spirit says, 'you can trust' then I go ahead.

    Let's just say, God had His way and I was the better for it.

    1. Hmmm.. You don't want to marry a Pastor? Why now? :-)

      Yes, it is very wise to allow God give the clearance before one proceeds..

  18. Waoh! This is the only place I know oh that I could have gotten a post like this. Not on the physical level of dodging bullets but on the spiritual level of letting God take control,not because "He looks like The one" but because God said he is.
    And you know what,this reminded me of some bullets I dodged myself and has also helped me make up my mind on something.

    1. Thank God! You know Funmi, I am so grateful for the love that God has for us that prevents us from going with what looks great physically but is a no-no.. Thank God


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