Friday 18 December 2009

Fronting... To be or not to be?


…So it would be good to first and foremost understand the concept of “fronting”. Fronting otherwise referred to as “forming” is a situation whereby an individual (most usually but not exclusively of the female specie) feels it necessary to act uninterested in a guy that she is (most often) interested in, in order to appear coy/shy/demure/innocent/unmoved by the said attention. In addition individuals arguably use this technique to make the interested party even more interested (!) or as a technique to “up” their individual value hence not being regarded as cheap.

A lot of girls would admit to having used this technique in the past, present or future. I myself have been known to be amongst the guilty (although that is still debatable). You see, ladies especially from my part of the world are encouraged to allow the man do the “chasing”. Doing things otherwise, people used to say (well some still say) is a shameless act of desperation! “Oh let him sweat before you agree to even give him your name” “make him wait, he would value you more”.

I know some individuals have perfected the art of fronting. Even if they are dying under with “love” for the interested party, they would absolutely refuse to show it but rather remain aloof to keep the poor person in suspense. Some see it as a power trip – whoever caves in first, loses! I know some people wait for the other to say “I miss you” “I love you” first so they don’t appear too keen and also to re-affirm their position as having the upper hand in a relationship.

I don’t mean to sound too harsh because indeed not all cases are extreme and negative. But sometimes I’m confused on what to think. What’s the real deal? Is it better to play the hard-to-get game or plunge straight in and be honest from the get? Does fronting equate to being dishonest, and is that not bad for a starting (is that a word? Lol) relationship? Also, it’s of concern to me that some people have abused the innocent and clean art of fronting that even when you are ABSOLUTELY NOT interested in the guy/girl, he/she is thinking “oh she’s just fronting/playing hard to get!”.. Oh I have quite a number of stories to that end. Sometimes such people would not go away except by praying and fasting! Is it not funny that it’s usually the ones that you really would NOT have anything to do with who stay the longest??

There’s the story of this guy who used to live close to me a while back whom I first met in church and all. We became friends but then he wanted more than that to which I refused. But this guy p.e.r.s.i.s.t.e.d! In return, I kept constant in saying no, but I guess he was thinking “just wait a few more weeks, she would come round”. Well this one didn’t quite “come round” oo. So after some time and I thought he had (almost) forgotten about going into a relationship, he said he wanted to talk to me. When we got talking, he said “see, I don’t like the way this relationship is going. We don’t spend time together etc etc” In my mind I was like “You what?? Are you having a laugh mate?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or be angry or just stare at him in amazement. Needless to say, I was (very) speechless!! So you see, moral of the story - you can actually be in a relationship with someone and not have a clue about it! lol

Monday 14 December 2009



I saw this lovely post by T.D Jakes. I'm guessing that many people might have seen this (which is good enough) but for those who haven't or for anyone who needs a little reminding, here goes!

"BECAUSE" by TD Jakes

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize
what a gold mine you are,
Doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out
that you can't be topped,
Doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
Doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
Doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of an
awesome woman you are,
Doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, Doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
Doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king,
Doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, Doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, keep running, Keep hoping, and keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already. COMPLETE!!

Saturday 12 December 2009

Get it Right!

New Post, New Post!! (Big Grin)
I'm always glad to come back to blog on here although it's becoming increasingly difficult. i woud like to share a bit of myself here (I guess that's part of what blogging is about - opening up and sharing with people your thoughts and brain child).

There's a saying I heard/read once that I really like and that is "A foolish man learns from his own mistakes and a wise man learns from the mistakes of others". I remember when I read that, I thought to myself "yeah, that makes sense and I definitely one to be the wise one" hence I made up my mind to try as much as possible to watch carefully and learn from others who have gone through stuff that I may be able to avoid such. On the other hand, another popular saying goes "experience is the best teacher" ergo, sometimes the best way to know what it feels like or to learn a lesson is to have a taste of it - you never know what heat is until you go near or touch fire.

For me, both sayings are quite apt, my life is a combination of both; in some cases, I have seen things happen to people or people do stuff in certain ways with bad or good results and I have either avoided or embraced it while in other cases, I have had to go through some things for me to fully appreciate it.

So enough with the philosophy, what exactly is my point.. Well, I hope in the next couple of posts to share a bit of my relationship story (s). You see one thing I have realised is that as a young Christian lady, it is sometimes so difficult to have a "Christian" relationship in today's world and in many cases, you compromise - either in a "big" way or in a "minor" way. For many people, our desire is to do it God's way, but time and time again even the best of Christians miss it and it's only after it doesn't work out that you think to yourself "What was I thinking???"

You see, relationships are a big part of our formative years and life is very much defined by it.. I'm not talking only in terms of romantic relationships but platonic and familial as well. So many people have been damaged by wrong relationships and inversely, so many people have been rescued and nurtured by the right relationships and associations. My prayer for you is that you would realise what the right kind for you is and embrace it, in order to be that which God has made you and called you to be.

I would continue in the next post and start from the beginning :-)
For now, I hope you know that the best relationship is the one with the One.. Jesus makes it all worth it and only Him can complete anyone.... I leave you with this beautiful song and wish you a most beautiful weekend.

God bless you xx

Friday 4 December 2009


My darling daddy,
How are you? My love, my joy, my peace, the glory and the lifter of my head..
I am just so thankful to you for all of the ways that you have shown me grace and favour.
It's good to have a father like you. I know I can talk to you about anything and everything and you will understand like no one else would.
Daddy I'm a bit confused, please make things clear and please give me the strength to make the right decision. I want to just hide in the shadow of your wings.
Everyday I am reminded of your profound love for me. I know that you hold me in such high esteem, I know that I am so precious to you. Perhaps if only we all knew just how precious we were to you!
But sometimes we forget daddy, and sometimes like the prodigal son it takes eating with swine to wake up and realise that in your palace, we are kings and queens.

Thank you for everything daddy.

Love you always,