Get a love upgrade!

Don’t settle for one who loves you, seek one who loves God!

A number of us settle for less in relationships. We settle for someone who loves us without aiming higher for one who loves God even more.

                                   source

You see, it’s beautiful for someone to love you and everything about you – the way you talk with your hands, the way the side of your eyes crinkle when you laugh, the way you speak softly and kindly to every single person that comes your way, the way you act patiently even in the midst of the worst storms, the way you take responsibility for your actions and can be depended upon.. Just the loveliness of you!

BUT I dare say that, if that’s the foundation of their love for you (as wonderful as it is), it’s not enough, and you may just be settling when you could get a love upgrade!

Better is the one who loves God and whose love for God fuels their love for you.

            source

You see, when you love God, there are certain things that you will do and not do. When you respect God, you will choose to obey Him whether it’s convenient or not convenient. It goes beyond the blessings you get for being obedient, it’s more about preserving the precious relationship you share with the Lover of your soul. Your love for human beings becomes sacrificial because you’re not doing it for them, you are doing it for HIM.

...So, when I slip, and I am not as wonderful as the first day you met me, you are still willing to rub my back and make me tea because you know that the Gentleman of Galilee would want that.

...So that when I forget to do that thing you told me a million times to do, as hard as it is, you forgive me because you can’t bear the thought of not being able to have fellowship with your God because of unforgiveness.

...So that when that hot luscious specimen of a human being waltz past you in a haze of heady perfume, you begin to find a way of escape because you know that you are not just accountable to me, you are accountable to your God and because you love Him so, you don’t want to hurt the relationship you have built with him and that you enjoy so.

Don't get me wrong, they will make mistakes.. Which human being doesn’t? They will fall – oh yes, they will! But, you can be secure in the knowledge that their love for God will keep bringing them back to the place of true repentance.

It’s great to have a love who is in it for you but it is even better to know that the basis of their love is in God whose love never fails.

Don’t settle, get the best! xx

                                  source

Do you LOVE?

There's this question that crops up time and time again - What is love? Like, when you say 'I love you' what are you trying to say or express?

                            source

I'm not just talking about love in the romantic context but just love - as human beings, particularly love as God commands... Remember, all the commandments summarised could be - Love God (with all that you are and all that you have), love yourself (completely and just in the way God does) and of course love your neighbour as you love yourself!

I think in describing love, 1Corinthians 13, breaks it right down (it's a favourite at many weddings) and I'll use that as my cue for describing the characteristics of love:

1. Patient – When you love, you have the ability to suffer long; you take your time to help people without complaining or sighing at every opportunity. When you love, you are willing to wait and be of good cheer while doing so. Are you patient?

2. Kind – Dictionary defines being kind as being considerate, helpful or being humane.It means you go out of your way to help people, whether you know them or not. It could be that you ensure that people around you feel comfortable being in your presence. It means that you think of how you can make someone’s life better without being asked to. Are you kind? 

3. Does not Envy – When you love, you resist the urge to feel jealous about your neighbour. They could seem to have a nicer home, drive a better car, have a more successful business but your love for them means that you pray for them to be blessed even more! It is quite rare to see a mother competing with her child, in fact most parents pray that their children achieve much more than they did. It is time to stop competing with ourselves and instead learn to start complimenting ourselves in love. Are you envious? 

                                       source
4. Humble – Do you flaunt your achievements in the face of others so that they know what you have and they don’t? Are you humble? 

5. Not rude – Acting rudely is described in the dictionary as being discourteous or impolite especially in a deliberate way. Do you watch your manners and the way you speak to people - young or old, boss or subordinate? If you aren’t, God is. He loves and regards every single one of us equally and sees us all as precious in His sight. He expects us to do the same to every one of His children that He thought important enough to lay His life down for. Are you rude? 

6. Not selfish – To show love, you need to be able to think about others when thinking about yourself. To love means to sometimes go out of your way to do things that are not convenient in order to help some other person. Do you think about yourself and how each decision affects you all the time? Are you selfless? 

7. Peaceful – Everyone loves a peace maker, everyone wants to be in the company of an individual who promotes peace, no one wants to be associated with trouble makers. What’s your story? Love is not easily provoked. Love does not act or speak in anger to her neighbour. Love forgives easily irrespective of what has been done. Are you peaceful? 

8. Pure in heart –Love thinks no evil and believes the best in everyone. It does not sow discord among people nor entertain gossip of any kind. Are you pure in heart? 

9. Rejoices! - Celebrates truth, progress and not failures or weaknesses. Do you see the good in others AND let them know about it? Pay someone a compliment today! 

10. Bears all things –Love is not overly sensitive nor takes offence easily. Love is open to correction and chastisement without feeling the need to get defensive. Love waits to listens to what the next person has to say. How much are you able to take?

11. Believes all things – Love is trusting (No matter what precedence may be) and is willing to fully let go of the past. Are you still holding on to an offence?

12. Hopes all things – Love has faith always.

13. Endures all things –Love never gives up

14. Never fails – Love is constant, consistent and unwavering in its support of its recipient.

Wow! What a tall order! To love is not the easiest of things! But to do we must, and the grace to do is made available by the One who proclaims that He is Love!

He who does not love, does not know God, for God is love - 1John 4:8

 source

xxxx

Show some loveee -

Twitter: @1plustheone

Email: oneplustheone@gmail.com

I think I love you

Thanks to everyone that commented on my last post! I am grateful :-) You make blogging even that more interesting for me! + it's given me an opportunity to explore new blogs too! *pa-ram-pam-pam-pa* I'm lovin' it!

PS, how come no guy has commented yet? I would definitely love to hear their views..

So, today I have a question that was asked recently during a ladies' discussion, however it cuts across all sexes. I think I have asked a similar question previously HERE but I would appreciate your thoughts + it could also help someone.


Picture source

1. How do you know when you are in love? (Like what signs or things indicate that you have fallen in, hook, line, sinker, deep, deeper, deepest, and crossed that threshold of love) -

2. In a relationship, who is the most appropriate person to say I love you first? The lady or the man?

Now these were my own responses:

1. It stands the test of time (not fleeting), so after the initial 'excitement' stage, it's still there. You feel comfortable with the person, so you can be yourself (we all know when we are actually being who we really are and with whom).
Of course, let's not forget the butterflies!. The excitement you feel with/around/at the thought of the human being.
Also, wanting to give as well - time/money (that you have and you don't have :-) gifts... Wanting to ensure that they have the best when they are with (or without) you.
Willing to make certain sacrifices (sometimes unconsciously). It just becomes a bit natural to not mind being inconvenienced for their sake - it no longer becomes such a big deal.
However, people are different, so it's important to know yourself and the way you respond/react to things/people.

2. If you feel secure in the relationship, it usually doesn't matter who says it first... However, I prefer the guy saying it before I do lol.
I am a 'go with it' (ardent, unrepentant romantic!) individual. It would be 'itching my mouth' to say it lol. So I would probably take the plunge (Usually, when I'm almost certain where I stand with the guy and in the relationship)

I think I have been in love 3 times ('think' being the operative word). I loved how it made me feel! It is one of the most beautiful things everrrr! lol.. Interestingly, each experience (and age) showed me a new dimension to the meaning of being 'in love'.. Love is more beautiful in maturity and there are lesser incidences of hurt in such instances.

My prayer always is to love my husband with a passionate kinda love, and also with a 'mature' kind of love. The unselfish kind, the one that Christ talks about in the bible. The one that may start with how 'swaggerlicious' I think he looks, the sound of his voice and how it affects the equilibrium of my internal organs and appeals to my 5 senses, but then matures to one that is inspired by my relationship with God and is consistent and loyal in and out of season. I want both the physical and spiritual attraction to him (plus mental and social and financial hehe)

 Picture source

So what are your thoughts? I would love to hear your responses to the questions as well? xxxx

This is IT!

This weekend, I had so many many discussions about marriage and relationships which was largely coincidental! lol

But I am glad cause I learnt a whole lot.. Many new things (In relationships, one keeps on learning).

So I was speaking to a couple very dear to me and I asked both of them what the deciding factor was for each of them when they chose to say I do to the other. (That is in addition to other factors like love etc etc)



For the lady - The fact that she could talk to him and feel that she could just be herself with. Someone she could share her most intimate thoughts with and still feel very comfortable about it.

For the man - Loyalty. He said, for him as a man, it was important to know that you could have a woman by you who is ready to stand by you through the good and the bad. Someone who is always on your camp, someone who keeps believing in you and is happy to ride the storms out with you. Someone who doesn't just throw in the towel at the sniff of bad times.

Hmmmm.. I like to ask this question, what would be the deciding factor for you? Can you identify with the answers above?

If you are married what made you think "Yes this is it!"?

May God help us to make the right decisions in marriage xxxx

Can you die for your wife?

Hiya all!

How was your Easter long weekend? Aren't you extra grateful that Jesus Christ came to die for you and I? (What if he rose after 1 week - mehnn that's one week holiday! lol, iKid).
I'm very grateful for the sacrifice and blood of Jesus..

*Side note* Remember that the bible says that the man must love his wife like Christ loved the church and laid down His life for it.... I hope he is willing to die for you? (I hope he will be willing to lay his life for me!)

Thinking - Do you think a man would be willing to die for his wife in today's world? Are there men like that?

My ex-boyfriend once said that he could die for his family members and some friends and to be honest, looking at the way he handled his relationships with family and close friends made me believe it could be possible.

He wasn't an 'oh let's spend all the time in the world together' kinda guy but he was an epitome of loyalty and devotion. He was / is devoted to his family, to people, to his church (very) and his work (passionate more like)...

There are some people who love their children so much that they wouldn't hesitate to give up their own lives for their wellbeing. I know a number of parents who have been put to the test and have put their lives on the line or their health at risk in order to save their children.

Infact there are some children who love their parents so much that they wouldn't mind stepping in line to save their lives. Once, while growing up, my mum fell ill (a parent falling ill can be one of the most frightening of things for children) and I remember my brother praying desperately in his childhood adoration love for his mum, that the sickness would be transferred to him so that she wouldn't have to suffer (to God be the glory, it was only mild malaria and she soon recovered - I am happy to say that both mother and brother are alive and hearty :-D )

Such is the kind of love that can exist between two human beings.. So, it's possible.

So I guess the question for the day would be "Do you think your man would be willing to lay his life for you?" / As a man, would you be willing to lay down your life for your wife?

xxxx

Pass You By - A Boyz II Men Lesson

So I was doing my blog- round with some Boyz II Men playing softly in the background.. I was reading all the comments for my last post (thanks for your comments guys!) Yeah so, this song by BoyZ II Men came up and when I heard the chorus I was like wow so true.. Recently I have been reading/hearing how ladies go through this "wrong love" syndrome.. It's as old as old itself and the funny thing is one would have thought that by now we all will be wiser...I'm sure guys also go through this albeit very rarely..

So why do ladies "stick it out" with a guy that maltreats them? There are many "good" reasons that have been given for staying in such a relationship..."Oh I love him so much", "it's really not that bad, it's only when I upset him or when he is angry/drunk/depressed", "he loves me a lot that's why he acts like that when he gets jealous", "I'm the one that he really loves, the other girls are the ones who keep running after him", "it's normal in all relationships, every one has up and down moments"......too many reasons/excuses, yet all not valid for staying with someone who would end up killing you deep inside...
So here are excerpts from the song, it's self-explanatory really,

"Don't have to stay with someone

That makes you cry

You'll end up killing all the love you have inside

Can't hope to see the sun

If you don't open your eyes

Girl don't let real love pass you by"

If he makes you cry, if he makes you sad, if he makes you lose your self esteem, leave, don't stay with him... If he makes you an emotional yoyo- high one second and so low the next- he is slowly killing the essence of you.. No one should ever be allowed to do that to you. Sad thing is if you stay with him, you will miss out on the opportunity to open your eyes and your heart to another person worthy of your love.

It's funny how we think "its him or no other", trust me, you would never find out the truth if you continue to stay with him...remember just as the saying goes .." a child thinks his father's farm is the biggest and the best until he goes out and sees the neighbours".. You can definately do better..

The beginning of the song talks about how amazing the girl was

"She was like nothing I'd ever known

Her eyes shine like diamonds, in a field of snow"...

YOU ARE A STAR, PRICELESS, BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY CREATED.. You need to be with someone who not only knows and says it but makes you feel that way..You need a man who would celebrate you just as you do to him. Don't settle for any less...

"You can see the glow slowly fading from her eyes

Though she denies her pain and her dismay"

A good man makes you feel like you can "touch the sky" just as Celine Dion sang but the wrong one takes away the sparkle from your eyes, you become a shadow of yourself.. if he does that to you, please don't stay. there's potential in you that the right sort of loving releases, don't deny your destiny the opportunity to manifest.. don't deny yourself the experience of true joy and fulfillment..

Rememember, you deserve a good man, it's not only a select few that are destined to be loved, EVERYONE is entitled to it, don't let him cheat you out of it, more importantly, don't cheat yourself.. It's a decision you have to make. It may seem hard or even impossible but do yourself a favour... If you don't take off the rag, you would not be able to wear the princely robe, if you don't let it go, the good man waiting round the corner would pass you by...

God wants only the best for you...let it go and let Him show you what real love is
xx

Here's the song....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aDCfWdEQ28