You Won't Even Smell Like Smoke!

Thank God!

I was ill over the weekend and the kind of job that I do, you can't afford to be ill too often or at worst, no matter what happens, or how you're feeling - the show must go on! lol (I love my job by the way).

So I tried to rest on Sunday, getting ready for Monday... Monday was a day I don't want to repeat ever again! I was in such pain and I wanted it to go away!

Tuesday came, I felt much better but still a bit under the weather. What made me smile was speaking to my mum later on and she commenting that she watched me during the TV show and she couldn't even tell I wasn't feeling very well. I smiled and I said to her that it's all for show, all acting! :-) As I said that, it crossed my mind that indeed that's what a lot of us do - Put on an act, put on a show, put on a mask as if everything is alright, yet what's going on underneath is badddd!

It's a very sad and unpleasant place to be. Thank God for the people we can be real with, those who know that when the credits roll and the lights go off, you're spluttering, and it's not a pretty sight. The ones who are there to hold your hands, pat your back, wipe your tears, lift you up.

Something else that crossed my mind was that the previous night, I was in such bad shape but towards the end of today, I was good! (Thank God). If you saw me, you wouldn't even believe what I had been through. Indeed, trying to describe it was tedious as it was difficult to reconcile what I described and what I had now become - healthy, smiley and jumpy!

This is what God can do. In life, we go through storms, pains and difficulties that seem as if they would break us, totally finish us... In fact, for many people, that Tiwa Savage / Dr Sid song applies "If I start to talk..." BUT after the storm, by the grace of God, when things turn around, it will be difficult for people to imagine that you are the same person who went through that storm... You will come out without scars. Here's a bible promise for you -

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flames scorch you" (Isaiah 43:2)

Also, remember the 3 Hebrew boys (Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego) in the fiery furnace? They came out of the fire and not even a hair on their bodies was singed or touched by the fire. They didn't even smell like smoke!

".... And they saw these men on whose bodies the fire had no power; the hair of their head was not singed nor were their garments affected, and the smell of fire was not on them" - (Daniel 3:27)

When you come through, may you not 'smell' or look like what you've been through! Yes, your experience will bless someone else, but not only can God heal you and make you whole (from the inside out), He can do it without leaving a scar.

Happy November beautiful people xxxx

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The God that Compensates!

I will never forget an incident that happened when I was a child. It was a birthday party and of course we were slugging it out on the dance floor (In case you didn't know, we are champion dancers in the Thompson family LOL).

Dancing is in our blood!

We were told to dance and that good dancers would be rewarded with a sweet. A number of people know that we used to dance then to win a prize - we took no prisoners!

As we were dancing, sweets were being distributed. Even though I danced with all my might and all my strength, giving them moves known and unknown, up and down, left and right, I didn't feel anyone tap me to hand me a sweet!

What happened was that my mum(!) was in charge of distributing the sweets and because she is a woman who wants to be fair and unbiased to a verrryyyyy large extent, she refused to reward my hard labour with a sweet, all because we were related! People who were not even doing half of the calisthenics I was displaying on the dance floor got a sweet! Lol

After a while, one of the other mums who had been watching stood up and exclaimed saying "This girl has been dancing so much, please she deserves a biscuit!"... Alas my hardwork hadn't gone unnoticed and where others got a 'paltry' sweet, I got a nice, bigger biscuit! :-D :-D

I can never forget that experience. This happened many many years ago but the lesson from that day still encourages me and I would like to encourage someone with it as well.

Looking at life and the bigger picture, God is a God that compensates. There's nothing on this earth that you do that goes unnoticed (good or bad). It may seem like no one knows or others are getting a reward, yet you keep putting in so much with nothing to show - it's only a matter of time, don't stop, don't give up, your reward will come and it will compensate you for all the time it seemed you were ignored or neglected.

With the benefit of hindsight, would I take the sweet? Heck no!! I will not change that story at all. The biscuit was worth the wait!

Your wait will be worth it. God will compensate you for every single effort, sacrifice, commitment, disappointment and any other thing you think you might have been deprived of! Hold on, don't stop, keep doing, it will come!

Where do Broken Hearts Go...

"I feel like such a fool!!

I feel disappointed. I feel hurt. I feel like I don't have sense. I feel unlovable."

Those were real words from a text I sent to a dear friend once. At the time of sending that message I was a heart-broken girl. At that point, I wasn't the confident Ayo, the 'healthy self-esteem' Ayo, the bold Ayo, the goal-getter Ayo, the positive Ayo, I was just the broken, hurt, sad little Ayo.

Many of us might be able to understand what it means to face rejection or be broken-hearted and I'm sure you know just how terrible it feels.

It's sad that one moment, one word, one decision can make you feel so unworthy, making you forget everything else that's good and just focus on that one area that isn't working... Such a bad place to be!

It's amazing how we sometimes allow the actions of one person drastically change our perception of ourselves in the twinkling of an eye. At that point, it doesn't matter who you are, what you have achieved or what God has blessed you with, it is easier to focus on being empty and perhaps not good enough.

... And that's such a BIG lie! A Big lie that you mustn't allow to sink in or be established in your heart and mind. You see, the devil plays tricks with our minds, allowing us to wallow in a state of unworthiness to the extent that we start to believe his lies and make the truth of God concerning us irrelevant in our lives.

We think, ruminate and allow our self-worth get rubbished by thoughts we form in our heads as a result of a bad experience.

You are not useless
You are not foolish
You are not unlovable

You are beautiful
You were created with so much love and attention to intricate detail
You have so much in you to give
You are stronger than words
You are stronger than rejection
You will survive

It's alright to hurt, it's alright to feel sad, but don't stop there, pick yourself up and if no one else is doing so, affirm yourself!

Surround yourself with people who can encourage (I thank God for I have them in abundance!) - if you don't have any, I'll be happy to be one for you! {Email below}

Immerse yourself in the word of God and let Him speak truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth to you. Let His word define you, not the circumstance, not the words, not even your own thoughts.

Pray. Tell God every single thing and express yourself without holding back on how you feel. Let Him know that you need His help. Trust me, He loves you enough to respond to even the littlest or most trivial need. His heart is moved by your tears, He hates to see you suffer. Tell Jesus.

Listen to music. I would recommend songs that would uplift your spirit. Please don't waste your time listening to break-up songs, it would probably only make it worse! Be intentional with the words you feed yourself via music. Let God use music to soothe your soul. It works!

Where do broken hearts go? They go seeking for help, for reassurance, for peace... And there's no better place than in Jesus. Let Him help you.. You are worth it!

Note to Self - Never Forget!

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Remember that time I fell in love and became a bore?!

I got into a relationship and then I became boring..

The above statement is one that I became quite familiar with personally! You see usually, I lovee having a good time and a laugh! I enjoy doing things in a unique way, doing it differently where possible! I enjoy a good laugh and in the right crowd, my sense of humour is something to write home about lol.. I shine, I sparkle, I smile, I laugh!

                                        source

These are very attractive qualities in anyone! People see it and are drawn to you! You meet that dude or chic who just wants to be with you all the time because you see, pleasantness is verryy attractive and people want to be with others who bring out the best in them and make them want to shine too - someone who is generally 'fun'!

However, sometimes when we we get into a relationship or commitment, we forget to be the person that made our partners fall in love with us!

I was quite guilty of this and looking back, I detest what I cheated myself of! In the relationship, I was so focused on getting it right, 'fixing' what may be wrong, thinking about whether I was really really sure I had made the right decision, focuing on what wasn't working that I forgot to be the girl he first loved! I became a bore.. Nagging here, mood swings there, "we need to talk" here, demands there.. *yawn* - how massively boring and tiresome!

Sometimes it's the reality of life that gets to us - usually referred to as after the 'honeymoon' stage in marriage! That point where you stopped trying..

Are you at that place right now? Take a moment and chill! When last did you smile in that way that makes people weak in the knees, when was the last time you laughed heartily (try doing it now!), when was the last time you took of that mask of a frown and tilted your lips to a happy bow!! When was the last time you made an effort - made that particular hairstyle, wore that particular dress, made an effort?!

When was the last time you paid them a compliment, wrote a love note, shared a secret, planned a surprise like the old times?

Take your eyes off what's not happening and choose to focus on what's happening and happening well! You deserve to live and enjoy it too! And you deserve to give you and them a break - Life may not always be perfect but it is your decision to make the best of every situation you are in by God's grace.

Be exciting again, be you!

Don't let the pressures of life, new job, children, activities, unmet expectations - take the shine off you.. Be YOU, be beautiful!

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So people, any experiences? Any words of wisdom as to how to re-ignite the fire in you? xx

*Special HUGE shout-out to Tosin Oludare of www.msjsbass.blogspot.com for my beautiful ASOS belt (I lovveeeet!) A sweet and beautiful woman! It was a pleasure meeting you yesterday albeit briefly.. God bless you much and reward you richly!!

What Pretty Woman taught me

A few days back I caught the tail end of one of my favourite movies of all time - Pretty Woman - Don't judge me .

 Source

As I watched, I realised that just like in most things that seem random or trivial in life, there are lessons to be learnt... Even in the book of Proverbs it says that there are one or two things we can learn from ant! (Prov 6:6)

If you've watched Pretty Woman, it makes the post easier, however I believe you would still be able to understand my point even without seeing the movie.. So here goes.

What Pretty Woman taught me:

The Scene

Richard Gere (Edward): "How much more do you want?"
Julia Roberts (Vivian): "I want all"

Abridged Context
This conversation ensued when this stupendously rich man offered a girl he literally picked up from the streets to be his mistress. This meant that she would undoubtedly enjoy the best things in life, have access to as many networks as possible, have his attention whenever he was in town, be treated with respect and almost in awe by people as a result of being associated with him.. Many a girl's dream! AND he was offering it to her on a platter of gold! + She had realised that she had fallen in love with him so having some of his time would be better than nothing right? WRONG!

Lesson learnt
- In life you would always be offered something that looks like, is close to, can almost be like ('almost' being the operative word) what you want, only that it's not actually what you really want but you will manage.. This is not only in relationships, it could be in business, entitlement, prayer point, desire, salary increment, promotion at work etc.
Until you get want you want, don't accept what you're given or what someone believes is the best that should be given to you. You have a choice to determine your worth and what you are willing to settle for.
Often times in life, you get what you accept. And if only you can hold on a little, push for me, determine that you would not compromise, you would be surprised that you can indeed have 'all' by God's grace.

Again and again, don't be happy with 'almost', don't settle for less because you are worth the best and your value is so precious! It may take time, you may lose some but ultimately by God's grace, you can get the best.

And did she get her 'all'? She sure DID!! And you will too by God's grace xx

 Source

WORTH THE WAIT? YOU BET!

Hiya!!

It's been AGES!! I know, I know, I have gone on one of what is becoming a bad habit of 'suddenly dropping off the face of the beautiful world of blogging'. As always, you have to believe me when I say that I have missed blogging immensely and all you my dear cyber friends :-). Even though I haven't been here, I have been very much around and I've kept up to date with my blog-rounds so kudos to all the faithfuls who keep me entertained and make turning on my laptop worth it! *kisses*.

What's been good with y'all? For me, it has been quite busy and can I say erhm quite eventful. Let me expand: What I have been up to:
1. I have cried over a dude
2. Seen a guy I liked go with another chic
3. Started having some sort of wistful thoughts (?) about my first boyfriend aka my first looove! hehe
4. Mr E is getting married next month (sorry no time to explain, read previous posts for clarification hehe)
5. Decided to take the wise words of Matthew 6:33 completely, focus on THE ONE and stop stressing about meeting the one.

You see in the past few weeks, I have gotten to discover something about myself in this journey to meeting the one, and this has enabled me to make certain decisions. You see, I'm sure I have mentioned it many times on this blog how important I consider marriage and how much I want to have a great marriage. Consequently one of my greatest fear in life is to have a broken marriage/home. I think I'm so concerned (actually concerned is not quite the word, more like bordering on obsessed) about it because of the things I have seen and experiences of people, especially women whose lives have been so messed up because of a wrong decision in the choice of a life partner. I have seen the hurt and damage that a bad marriage does to individuals and I NEVER want to be a victim.

Furthermore, I am a Christian so I believe that I will be walking down the aisle ONCE by God's grace.

I have always felt that as a Christian and a young woman who absolutely believes in God and who has been through many things in life that has solidified my trust in Him that my faith in God in taking care of me was firm. I have always imagined that I have experienced the faithfulness in God in so many amazing ways that it was easy for me to trust Him to handle everything that I faced.

I was wrong. I have come to realise that while I trusted God and allowed Him to have His way in every (or most) areas of my life, I guarded my future marriage/marital life jealously. It was so important to me that I wanted to handle it MYself and be very careful and meticulous about it. While I could have faith in God in other areas of my life, I felt I could never try to 'gamble' with my future marriage. I wanted to worry about it on my own, I wanted to look for the 'ideal' man on my own, I wanted to pick at every fault and look very critically at every young man that comes my way and chase every 'waste-man' from a mile. I would stalk check him out, his background, familiarise myself with his facebook, google him and ensure that he was not hiding a wife and 11 sons. I wanted to ask all the right questions and employ many 'wise' ways to judge his character. I wanted to do all these things so that I will guarantee my happy home.

You know what? I have failed! And I have failed not small, not medium but BIG TIME!
I have learnt that just as the bible says "by strength shall no man prevail", there's a lot or actually NOTHING I can achieve by my own wisdom and calculations. I NEED God. I need Him to help me. I need to trust Him enough to let go and let Him. I need to learn to be foolish before Him and allow Him to work on my behalf. I need to learn to relax, to chill and let it go to Him.  I have learnt that no matter how much I love myself or care about my future, I cannot out-love God even for myself, I do not care about my future more than He does. I have decided (by His grace) to look unto Him, seek Him earnestly and wait for Him to act on my behalf.

And this is the hard part; the waiting. The waiting patiently for His best and for His time. The waiting without compromising, the waiting faithfully with complete trust in His love for me and His ability to come through for me.

But one thing I know for sure is that; With God, it's ALWAYS worth the wait!

PS, It feels soooo good to be back xxxx

Don't Worry it's YOU he chose....

Lucky you?!

You know I have heard this phrase so much it’s becoming old and irritating. It’s used to excuse cheating partners and husbands, tolerate bad behaviour and accept nuisances.

“Don’t worry, at least it’s you he chose”..

Perhaps, I don’t really understand the meaning of that sentence fully. Yes, I know that the man finds the wife as stated in the bible that “when a man FINDS a wife, he finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord”. Actually, it is a thing of pride and of joy to be ‘found’ but many people have used and abused that syndrome.

When a man is cheating on his girlfriend or wife, people are quick to ‘reassure’ her that “don’t worry it’s you he chose”.

When a man is not providing for her as he ought to, she is quickly reminded “don’t worry it’s you he chose”.

When he is grossly misbehaving, it is made known to her “don’t worry it’s you he chose”

The worst part is when he misbehaves and he starts to tell you that “don’t worry love, the other girls don’t matter,  it’s you I chose!”

So he ‘chose’ you ey?  Did you not ‘choose’ to accept?

Many times, some women are led to believe that the man is doing you a favour by being with you or that he has bestowed upon you an honour by making you his wife/girlfriend. Yes, I do agree that it is honourable to be ‘wifed’ to a GOOD man, emphasis on good. It is pleasant, it is beautiful, it is indeed a blessing. The bible did say that two is better than one; that if 1 can put a thousand to flight, then 2, ten thousand. You have a covering, you have a shepherd, you have a companion, you have a lover, you have a partner in life. It’s no longer a solo journey in life; you now have a friend to go through it with, you have a confidant and you have someone to share both the burdens that life sometimes bring and celebrate the joys of different days.

I know that sometimes societal pressure mostly on ladies make some guys feel that when it comes to marriage they have the advantage. Also, statistics don’t help matters either as it is said that there are twice the number of women in this world than there are men, hence it seems like men are ‘scarce’ resources.  Nevertheless, it is important that you are not made to feel that he is doing you some kind of favour by being with you.

Isn’t it interesting that the bible says that it’s the man who finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord when he finds you. When you know your worth as a woman of God, it is difficult for any man to devalue your worth by making you feel that he is doing you some form of favour by being with you and that you should accept and excuse a lot of excesses because of that.

A good starting point is by renewing our mind, our thinking and the things we’ve been told and made to believe. We need to keep reminding ourselves and speaking it if possible “I am a good thing, any man that finds me will definitely find favour with God, I am a blessing to any man that finds me and that I agree to be with”.

We need to start believing what God says about us in His word. Don’t accept a half-baked relationship/proposal or marriage.

If you are currently with someone who doesn’t appreciate you or treat you in the wonderful way you ought to be treated then it’s time to boldly exit the scene and wait for someone who knows how to identify a treasure and handle it. When you carry a teething child and give he/she your diamonds, they will put it straight into their mouths as if it were a pacifier. This is because they do not recognise its value, to them, it’s just another toy or instrument to relieve their discomfort. On the other hand, when you give that diamond to a grown man or woman, they will treat it with the utmost care and handle it delicately. We need to stop being in relationships with toddlers and start talking to grown men who know the value of a good thing and can appreciate it.

Yes, he chose you, but in choosing you lady, he chose a good thing and by choosing you, his life just became better! Know it, thank God for it and take pride in it!

Because...

Hiya,

I saw this lovely post by T.D Jakes. I'm guessing that many people might have seen this (which is good enough) but for those who haven't or for anyone who needs a little reminding, here goes!

"BECAUSE" by TD Jakes

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize
what a gold mine you are,
Doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out
that you can't be topped,
Doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
Doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
Doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of an
awesome woman you are,
Doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, Doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
Doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king,
Doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, Doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, keep running, Keep hoping, and keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already. COMPLETE!!

Pass You By - A Boyz II Men Lesson

So I was doing my blog- round with some Boyz II Men playing softly in the background.. I was reading all the comments for my last post (thanks for your comments guys!) Yeah so, this song by BoyZ II Men came up and when I heard the chorus I was like wow so true.. Recently I have been reading/hearing how ladies go through this "wrong love" syndrome.. It's as old as old itself and the funny thing is one would have thought that by now we all will be wiser...I'm sure guys also go through this albeit very rarely..

So why do ladies "stick it out" with a guy that maltreats them? There are many "good" reasons that have been given for staying in such a relationship..."Oh I love him so much", "it's really not that bad, it's only when I upset him or when he is angry/drunk/depressed", "he loves me a lot that's why he acts like that when he gets jealous", "I'm the one that he really loves, the other girls are the ones who keep running after him", "it's normal in all relationships, every one has up and down moments"......too many reasons/excuses, yet all not valid for staying with someone who would end up killing you deep inside...
So here are excerpts from the song, it's self-explanatory really,

"Don't have to stay with someone

That makes you cry

You'll end up killing all the love you have inside

Can't hope to see the sun

If you don't open your eyes

Girl don't let real love pass you by"

If he makes you cry, if he makes you sad, if he makes you lose your self esteem, leave, don't stay with him... If he makes you an emotional yoyo- high one second and so low the next- he is slowly killing the essence of you.. No one should ever be allowed to do that to you. Sad thing is if you stay with him, you will miss out on the opportunity to open your eyes and your heart to another person worthy of your love.

It's funny how we think "its him or no other", trust me, you would never find out the truth if you continue to stay with him...remember just as the saying goes .." a child thinks his father's farm is the biggest and the best until he goes out and sees the neighbours".. You can definately do better..

The beginning of the song talks about how amazing the girl was

"She was like nothing I'd ever known

Her eyes shine like diamonds, in a field of snow"...

YOU ARE A STAR, PRICELESS, BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY CREATED.. You need to be with someone who not only knows and says it but makes you feel that way..You need a man who would celebrate you just as you do to him. Don't settle for any less...

"You can see the glow slowly fading from her eyes

Though she denies her pain and her dismay"

A good man makes you feel like you can "touch the sky" just as Celine Dion sang but the wrong one takes away the sparkle from your eyes, you become a shadow of yourself.. if he does that to you, please don't stay. there's potential in you that the right sort of loving releases, don't deny your destiny the opportunity to manifest.. don't deny yourself the experience of true joy and fulfillment..

Rememember, you deserve a good man, it's not only a select few that are destined to be loved, EVERYONE is entitled to it, don't let him cheat you out of it, more importantly, don't cheat yourself.. It's a decision you have to make. It may seem hard or even impossible but do yourself a favour... If you don't take off the rag, you would not be able to wear the princely robe, if you don't let it go, the good man waiting round the corner would pass you by...

God wants only the best for you...let it go and let Him show you what real love is
xx

Here's the song....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aDCfWdEQ28

Because I'm worth it!

Just checking in.....

I only started reading blogs properly late last year, thinking before then that it was a huge waste of time (lol, now i gladly eat my words!). I got introduced (addicted) to blogville through Linda Ikeji (Love her blog, really down to earth). It was recommended to me by my mum who is such a big fan.. The surprising thing is that usually my mum is not so into social networks, blogs etc, I'm sure the only function the internet served her was to check her e-mail like once in a yellow moon. Therefore her loving Linda Ikeji's blog was a big(s) deal lol.

Not until I started following her write-ups did I come to appreciate blogging, infact I must admit that Linda inspired me to starting my own blog!! I love the way she is soo open and honest about her views and opinions not minding if everyone concurs or not. Before I started reading her blog, I hadn't heard a lot about her, although I have come to realise that she's one of Nigeria's top models and young female entrepreneurs.... Nigeria's own Tyra Banks! You go girl!!!

Back to life and living, it's so easy to forget to stop and appreciate life. We are all busy with living and trying to survive in this crazy crazy world!! The sad thing is after everything, we would still die, that's a harsh certainty... The only thing that makes all our struggling worthwhile is what we choose to do with our life whilst alive....

There's a saying which goes "when life gives you lemons, make lemonades". I know it's easier said than done but in order to achieve a fulfilling life, one has to work towards it. Appreciate the important things in life, learn to say "I love you" even if sometimes they don't say it back, saying it makes you feel good! Learn to express yourself..even if people don't like it, that's who you are and changing that would only make them happy and you miserable. One important thing to always remember is that you feel most comfortable in your own skin, be yourself at all times!!!

Learn to take corrections and accept criticism in good faith. RESPECT yourself. Don't allow anyone take you for granted, you are special and unique. It's not just a saying, it's actually true. The way you comport youself determines the way people treat you. When you believe something or believe in something, it reflects in your actions. Act like you believe in yourself, act like you believe that you are one of a kind! Improve your self-esteem, feel good about yourself.

Don't forget to treat others the way you want to be treated, remember what goes around comes around and you only reap what you sow.

Trust in God, He's the only one that makes it all worth it... He thinks the world of you, when you imagine that someone sooo great, who could have a pick of who to love, chose you to just love......haaa, that's a huge ego-booster. He doesn't joke with you so why should mere man? Because of Him you are soo special!! Hold that thought, don't let what "he said" or "she said" discourage you, You are worth it!!

xx