Wednesday, 31 July 2013

I think I love you

Thanks to everyone that commented on my last post! I am grateful :-) You make blogging even that more interesting for me! + it's given me an opportunity to explore new blogs too! *pa-ram-pam-pam-pa* I'm lovin' it!

PS, how come no guy has commented yet? I would definitely love to hear their views..

So, today I have a question that was asked recently during a ladies' discussion, however it cuts across all sexes. I think I have asked a similar question previously HERE but I would appreciate your thoughts + it could also help someone.

Picture source

1. How do you know when you are in love? (Like what signs or things indicate that you have fallen in, hook, line, sinker, deep, deeper, deepest, and crossed that threshold of love) -

2. In a relationship, who is the most appropriate person to say I love you first? The lady or the man?

Now these were my own responses:

1. It stands the test of time (not fleeting), so after the initial 'excitement' stage, it's still there. You feel comfortable with the person, so you can be yourself (we all know when we are actually being who we really are and with whom).
Of course, let's not forget the butterflies!. The excitement you feel with/around/at the thought of the human being.
Also, wanting to give as well - time/money (that you have and you don't have :-) gifts... Wanting to ensure that they have the best when they are with (or without) you.
Willing to make certain sacrifices (sometimes unconsciously). It just becomes a bit natural to not mind being inconvenienced for their sake - it no longer becomes such a big deal.
However, people are different, so it's important to know yourself and the way you respond/react to things/people.

2. If you feel secure in the relationship, it usually doesn't matter who says it first... However, I prefer the guy saying it before I do lol.
I am a 'go with it' (ardent, unrepentant romantic!) individual. It would be 'itching my mouth' to say it lol. So I would probably take the plunge (Usually, when I'm almost certain where I stand with the guy and in the relationship)

I think I have been in love 3 times ('think' being the operative word). I loved how it made me feel! It is one of the most beautiful things everrrr! lol.. Interestingly, each experience (and age) showed me a new dimension to the meaning of being 'in love'.. Love is more beautiful in maturity and there are lesser incidences of hurt in such instances.

My prayer always is to love my husband with a passionate kinda love, and also with a 'mature' kind of love. The unselfish kind, the one that Christ talks about in the bible. The one that may start with how 'swaggerlicious' I think he looks, the sound of his voice and how it affects the equilibrium of my internal organs and appeals to my 5 senses, but then matures to one that is inspired by my relationship with God and is consistent and loyal in and out of season. I want both the physical and spiritual attraction to him (plus mental and social and financial hehe)

 Picture source

So what are your thoughts? I would love to hear your responses to the questions as well? xxxx

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Deal of the day - Buy one engagement ring, get a cook for free!

So the above deal, would be so ideal for my husband.. Before the conclusion fully forms in your mind, please continue reading...

Yesterday, I was chatting with a recently married colleague and she exclaimed at how great she feels cause she finally got a much needed cook at home!

I couldn't but share in her joy and enthusiasm as I know that one of my desires has been to have a cook when I get married.

Usually, when a woman hints that she cannot cook (especially in my African culture), there's almost pandemonium let loose (ok, slight exaggeration).. But honestly, you know that can be a big deal..

Don't get me wrong, I can cook (cross my heart!) but honestly, I think I may possibly enjoy life better if I had someone doing all my cooking for me.

When I used to nurse the thought of employing a cook within first year of marriage, and managed to voice it, I would be quickly hushed and told that it's a woman's role to look after the family and provide food for them.. Like "Even if your husband doesn't mind, what would your in-laws say? Perish the thought and enter that kitchen my friend!" *sigh*..

I have experienced chatting with a guy and the moment I kinda insinuated that it would not be a bad idea to have a cook in my home and I can literally see him counting the change from my bride price.... His eyes can't even mask it! lol

To be honest, I want to be a GREAT wife and mother and I am willing to pay the sacrificial price but speaking honestly, I desire a man who wouldn't mind us having a cook like asap (as in like as we are signing the dotted lines, we are signing his employment contract mehn - of course you know it has to be a he right? haha

So what are your thoughts? Having a cook, to be or not to be?

PS, I have searched high and low, wide and narrow, I am yet to find a verse in the bible that states that women are responsible for cooking and/or that forbids employing cooks.

PPS I promise to effectively manage and monitor the cook, I will even draw up the meal plan - it will be my pleasure! :-)

Monday, 29 July 2013

So you want to be great...

I am yet to meet someone who wants to have an ordinary existence and is happy to just be 'there'. Most people in this world want to be great. We want to be great in all areas - great in our walk with God, great in terms of our marital situation (have a great marriage, be a great spouse, have great children, be great parents!), great financially (wealthy, prosperous, 'large'), great in our areas of profession (be the boss, come up with ideas that are so great, they are patented and you're established for life! {I see you salivating at the thought... I know I am!} Come up with solutions and products that every household will know and hear about)..

I don't think it's hard to understand why, we are created by a GREAT God and we are made in His likeness. I dare say that it's in our DNA to want to achieve, to want to have dominion in our different fields (that was indeed the command that was given to us at the very beginning).

Plus, greatness is wonderful.. Mehn, I long for the day when my wealth is multiplying even while I'm asleep, I am consulted on important global issues before a decision is made, my home is so intact, I keep pinching myself to know it's real, my birthday becomes a globally recognised holiday (ask Mandela how it feels).. It feels great to be GREAT!

One thing I have observed is that there is always a price to pay for greatness.. It doesn't just happen.. (When it 'just happens', it's usually short-lived).

Please read the stories, histories and backgrounds of great men today and you find out that the journey wasn't easy at all. Usually they sufferedddd, they enduredddd, they failed and failed again, they lost here and there, there were times when they actually believed that their dreams will never come through and that at best, they would scrape up to survive another day! There were times when people laughed and scoffed at their 'ridiculous' dreams.

In fact, I dare say that the recipe for greatness is going through 'tough and trying times'.. The sweetest time of greatness is usually the moment you decide to be great or have dreams and visions of greatness (you remember that feeling you had when you thought about that great idea? when you started that blog that should turn into a great book, when you registered as a card-carrying member of a political party as first steps to being the President?). 

What follows is usually not what you bargained for! A lot of work goes into it.. The greater it is, the more work there is..

But the sweetest-est time is when you achieve! By God's grace, against all odds, through patience and perseverance, prison moments and betrayal points... You survive, and having done all, you stand! 

Keep that moment in sight.. You may be going through your dungeon season at the moment.. That dream, that vision may seem far-fetched right now.. Things may look to be going in the total opposite direction of your goal.. Remember Joseph? Think about David, remember Daniel, remember Jesus! Yes, you're in GREAT company.

Don't give up, keep pushing... God has promised that His grace is more than sufficient and that He will not give you more than you can bear.. That thing you're going through right now? It's not greater than you... You can and you will overcome by God's grace.

So you want to be great? Get ready for the journey.. Deeeep but worthwhile!

God's grace xxx

                                                                  It could be YOU!

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

My Proverbs 32 Man... aka The Virtuous Dude!

We have all heard about the famous Proverbs 31 woman. You know the one that many men want their wives to be modelled after and many mothers want their sons to marry (ask King Lemuel’s mother!)… If you still don’t know about this legendary woman I am referring to, then you need to read the book of Proverbs, chapter 31 from verse 10.. 22 whole verses dedicated to identifying the ideal wife. (Point to note ladies, it’s quite a high call and only by divine unction can you fit the bill :-) Not surprisingly the rather long list of achievements was wisely given to King Lemuel by his beloved mother (thank God for mothers-in-law right?). I can almost imagine that either he was the only son, the first son or the last son.

I have always wondered though that King Lemuel had the good fortune of having a mother who could let him in on the secret of finding a virtuous wife, but how about the ‘virtuous’ husband?
So  a few years back, we did a survey with about 15 lovely Christian ladies and asked them what qualities they looked out for in a man to make up what we term our ‘PROVERBS 32 MAN’.. I am taking a step further to write it down and make it plain on tablets.. Guys you definitely want to read this and run with it.. Enjoy!

‘Qualities of the PROVERBS 32’ Man

v1 Who can find a virtuous husband? For his worth is far above precious stones.

v2 He must be a man as GENEROUS as David – David was a man who GAVE! When it was time to build the Lord’s temple, he was prepared to give his all and his best. In addition, he was a cheerful giver and gave without complaining or grumbling. He must be willing to show his love to me and others by giving with a generous heart. (1Chronicles 22 – emphasis on v5)

v3 He must be as UNDERSTANDING as Joseph the father of Jesus – He was a man who understood his betrothed Mary and believed her when she said to him that she became pregnant by the holy spirit. (Matthew 1:18-25)

v4 He must be as TRUTHFUL as Samuel – Imagine getting a word from the Lord that your master and his sons would perish and being able to say it exactly as it is to him, word for word not minding the consequence, that was Samuel! (1 Samuel 3: 16 – 18[especially v18])

v5 – He must be as LOVING as Hosea – Hosea loved his wife and took her back even though she repeatedly committed adultery with other men! He obeyed God’s instruction to love her irrespective of what she had done. (Hosea 3:1-3)

v6 He must be as FAITHFUL as Joseph was to Potiphar – Joseph refused to sleep with his master Potiphar's wife. He should be able to remain faithful to me even when ‘opportunities’ willingly present themselves as they so often do! (Genesis 39)

v7 He must be as HANDSOME as David – David was a ‘swaggerlicious’ dude, end of story(1 Samuel 16:12)

v8 He must be WELL SPOKEN like Paul – Paul is credited with writing many of the letters in the New Testament, the brother had a way with words. He must be able to speak to me in ‘secret’ love languages (Galatians 2:20, Romans 7:15 – Some examples of his many colloquy :-)

v9 He must be as STRONG as Samson – Samson was so strong, he killed a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass! He must be able to lift up and carry and move and push etc etc(Judges 15:15)

v10 – He must be as RESPECTFUL as Abraham – When Abraham had 3 guests, he treated them with respect and care, it turned out to be that they were angels! He should be able to recognise the angel and the gift of God that I am and treat me as such and with R.E.S.P.E.C.T! (Genesis 18: 1-8)

v11 – He must be a GOOD LISTENER like Samuel – Samuel was such a good listener, he was able to hear the still small voice of the Lord. He must be able to listen to the things that I am saying and not quite saying. (1 Samuel 3)

v12 – He must be a PROVIDER like Jacob – Jacob worked 14 (!) years for the woman he loved and wanted to marry. A hardworking man is able to provide for his family (Genesis 29:15-30)

v13 – He must be as SUCCESSFUL as Isaac – Isaac was a great man indeed and he continued to wax great until he became very great. (Genesis 26:13)

v14 – He must be a PHILANTROPIST like David (1 Chronicles 22)

v15 – He must be the SPIRITUAL LEADER in the home like Joshua – (Joshua 24:15)

v16 – He must have ABS like Samson – A man who worked his muscles like Samson did, must have his 6-packs in check! If you don’t know what abs are, you can ask King Lemuel’s kind mother :-) (Judges 16:12)

v17 – He must be as INTELLIGENT as Paul – Just take a look at the books of Romans, Ephesians, Galatians, Colossians, etc! The man was gifted like that!!

v18 – He must be as ROMANTIC as Solomon – He must have had some dangerous lyrics to spin for about a 1000 women! A man who waxes poetry for his beloved??! Definitely a keeper! (SOS 4:1-5)

v19 – He must have a GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR like David – A King who is willing to dance so uninhibited in front of his subjects must also have a good sense of humour(2Samuel 6: 16, 20)

v20 – He must be CALM and COOL-HEADED like Moses – Any man who could lead those stiff-necked Israelites without drowning them himself in the red sea by striking the rod quickly must be something indeed. He must be able to withstand my (occasional) nagging without wringing my neck.. (Numbers 12:3)

v21 –He must be an APPRECIATOR and ENCOURAGER like Hosea – For Hosea to take his wife back and love her, he must have said kind words to her irrespective of the life of harlotry she was living, Hosea was also prepared to pay a high price for her even though she was seen as cheap and unworthy. He must be able to praise me and affirm me even when I don’t deserve it. In addition he must think (and show) that I’m all that and a bag of chips! :–) (Hosea 3:2)

v22 – He must be as PURPOSEFUL as Daniel – When Daniel made up his mind, there was no shaking him. He must be able to stand by his word and have a purpose about what he wants to achieve and become. (Daniel 1:8)

v23 – He must be as COURAGEOUS as the 3 Hebrew boys, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – They remained undaunted even with the threat of being thrown in the furnace.(Daniel 3: 16-18)

v24 – He must be as PATIENT as Job – Indulge me, let me get away with certain things, forgive my misdemeanours, love me patiently. (Job 14:14)

v25 – Most importantly though, he must be prepared to love me as Christ loved the Church and laid down his life for it. Do you love me enough to die for me? (Ephesians 5:25)

….*Deep breath*… There you have it ladies and guys (still standing!) If you thought Proverbs 31 was a tall order, try the Proverbs 32 man…

PS Though written slightly satirically, I desire a man with such qualities.... So help me God :-D xx