Tuesday, 22 January 2013

For the Ladies.. Does he respect you?

A mother was speaking to her young adult son's girlfriend {long tinz,sorry :-) }and she said to her that she knew her son was going to spend the night in her house and she asked the girl about sleeping arrangements et al..

Then she asked in the most polite way "I hope he's respecting you?"

Now you and I know that it was her way of asking a question that she didn't feel was in her place to ask directly seeing as she was speaking to another person's child - an 'advanced' teenager at that (This is the UK and we are Y2K-13 compliant).

While I admire her for daring to ask, I also pay particular attention to the word she used 'respect'.

I know it sounds very old-fashioned but it still remains true.

One of the ways a guy shows his respect for you is his willingness to respect your body and wait with you for marriage before sex.

I want to be with a man who respects my now and my later so much that he chooses to deny himself and wait until he has put a ring on my finger and can gratify (or we gratify each other :-) ) all he wants lawfully, legally, consensually and most importantly, God-ly.

A man who respects my destiny and the God that I serve.

So borrowing the wise words of this mum "I hope he is respecting you?"

PS it's vice versa as well... Do you respect his destiny and purpose enough to wait until marriage?

Monday, 14 January 2013

On Men and Virginity

This post is inspired by one done my one of my favourite bloggers MyneWhitman HERE..

I would love to marry a virgin! Yup, I said it..

I never really put it into consideration when I thought and prayed about the kind of guy I would like to marry but this changed recently..

Usually, pre-marital sex and virginity is discussed mainly with reference to girls and it wasn't considered very 'top-of-the-list' with guys for a variety of reasons.

After my last relationship, I decided that if possible I would want to marry a virgin.. And I am praying about it.

You see, my ex-boyfriend was or is a virgin and honestly, it changed my perspective on a lot of things:

1. I have to admit that I was really impressed and very proud to be with him.
2. It made me understand that irrespective of gender, when a man loves God he can make a commitment and stick with it.
3. I was able to trust him more, knowing that I knew it wouldn't be so easy to sleep around (well, if he had waited that long, I didn't think being with me would push him over the edge to have a sudden change of mind lol)
4. It made me respect his relationship with God.
5. I felt that I would feel more secure if we had gotten married knowing that his love and respect for God would make him not do certain things
6. It made him more willing to respect my decision to wait until marriage before sex.
7. I was glad that had we gotten married, I wouldn't feel like he was comparing me with any other woman. (and mehn, I can have insecurity issues! Oh Lawd!)

I have to say that I don't think by any means that being with or marrying a virgin eliminates issues in relationships / marriages.. Nah! You would still have to work at it.

Most importantly, a successful relationship / marriage takes the GRACE of God!

... My choice is a personal preference, so help me God!

Thursday, 10 January 2013

I went for THIS event in 2012..

Like I said earlier, at the end of 2012, the 28th of December to be precise, I went for this A-MAZING concert in Manchester!

It was the second of its kind, the first being in 2011.. Basically it's like the popular event in Lagos, Nigeria called The Experience.

Festival of Praise in Manchester has now become an annual event and arguably one of the most sought after gospel concerts in the North of England!

It's free of charge (you have to pre-book tickets though) and takes place at the popular O2 Apollo in Manchester (I think it seats about 2500 people!).. Now of course, the fact that it is free of charge means that tickets go FAST! About 3 weeks to the event, I was told that the event tickets were totally gone - and I didn't have a ticket #Gbese.. Thank God by a miracle, I was able to get one of the PRECIOUS tickets (Honestly, someone was saying that some people may even be selling on ebay to the highest bidder - thank God that didn't happen! lol)

Anyways, as the day approached I was mega excited! You see, I love worship, I love dancing, I love concerts! So I was like wow, I can't wait to get my praise on and I was eagerly expectant of the move of God through worship...

... Boy was my expectation exceeded!

The first time I went for FOP in 2011, there were some areas I felt could have been improved on.. I thought there were too many guests for the time available so just as you were getting into the praise, they had to leave.. #megafrustrating..

This time around, I was totally impressed and excited to note that the organisers took this into consideration and improved drastically from the previous inaugural concert and made this an unforgettable experience..

The event started with a wonderful time of worship with the host church's mass choir - just wonderful! As you walked into the venue, you could feel the presence in the air.. The atmosphere was beyond what you could sufficiently put into words.. Also, the stewards were just lovely! So friendly and welcoming.. They seemed like they thoroughly enjoyed serving and were proud to be part of the team.. I believe that gave an excellent reception to guests...

The first guest of the night was the very talented saxophonist Mike Aremu who raised the roof and led us in awesome praise and worship..

We had leaders of various churches lead in prayers for the city - It was all so uplifting..

We then had several great Worship leaders of our time take to the stage to lead us in worship of the King..

We danced, we lifted holy hands, we jumped, we clapped, we smiled, we laughed, we went on our knees, we cried, we shed tears in awe of our Great King.. It was all so simply AWESOME!

Lara Martin (a vibant worshipper!), Ron Kenoly (who shared an inspiring testimony of God's healng power, faithfulness and greatness), Muyiwa & Riversongz (who co-hosted with Madeline Kerzner - fabulous!), Chevelle Franklyn (Oh my, oh my.. THIS woman is amazing!), Cece Winans (Beautiful inside and outside, such a fantastic woman of God), Mark Beswick (wonderful), Mark Stevens (with a wonderful testimony of God's grace)..

It was all so..... WONDER-ful!

The presence of God was mighty and just to say a BIG BIG well done to the host church RCCG Jubilee Church in Manchester, members and their great Pastors Bimbo and Folu Komolafe as well as their Spirit and Life Choir.. I pray for more grace for even greater works as you have begun history in the country of Great Britain..

Thank you for giving people like me the opportunity to pray for the city, worship God in such a special way, with great men and women of God, under one roof, at no cost!

.....And if you didn't attend, make it a date this year.. Trust me, totally unmissable! :-)

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Checking out other guys..

I went for this A-mazing Praise concert last year! As in, it was the icing on my 2012 cake.. Such a lovely way to end the year.. (I hope to blog about it in a future post!).. You may probably have been there! :-D

Anyways, I was fortunate to sit very close to the stage and I could see all the action.. Honestly, it was splendid!

So, I sat with one of my dearest friends and we happened to notice this foineee brotha on the bass guitar.. And immediately, my 'Fine-boy'-radar of appreciation came alive! First thing I did was try to zoom in to his left hand, specifically THAT finger..

I didn't know my friend had also clocked this handsome man and when I whispered to her to draw her attention to him, she was like "I know, I've seen him" lol.. Then we started trying to see the finger.. alas the distance proved too much of a challenge.,.

It's an interesting past-time.. Especially as a single girl. When you go to a new place / nice event.. A Christian one to boot, your man-radar is on ALERT! lol.. 20-20vision on point.. And.... I like fine boys and I cannot lie :-D

So, I was telling my very wise sister about this young man and we joked about how as single girls we automatically do that when we see 'prospects'. Then she said but do you know it's not really a good habit.. Truth is when you have inculcated a habit, even when you do get into a relationship, because it is a part of you, you still check out men involuntarily and that's not healthy at all!

It's true, practice what you want to be when you become committed! Sometimes we say "Oh of course it will be different once I get into a relationship / get married etc.. But I have discovered that you usually do the same things you do when you get into a relationship as you did when you were single..

Remember, when you become committed to someone, you do not automatically *boom* take on a new persona .. It's the same you that wakes up late, eats fast, talks too much, laughs heartily, dances well that will be in that relationship!

It's like when a man or woman says "oh when I get married, I will stop cheating.. I am only having 'extras' now because I am single" .... LIE lol.. You may be faithful in the first few instances but very soon, the spots on the leopard start to become visible.. You know what they say about old habits? Yup, they die hard...

In a nutshell, start to be the person you want to see in a relationship.. Stop random 'scoping' - it becomes difficult to stop even after you get into a relationship.. (I will stop, so help me God)

What do you think? For the married / committed folks, have you found it easy to stop doing what you did as a single person?

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

A good man is not a myth!

Oh I am surrounded by such amazing people!

My friends have the most amazing boyfriends / fiances / husbands..

I tell you the truth!

Men who are willing to go the extra extra mile to be good to them! Men whose love for them is founded on the love they have for Christ, making it so sacrificial it's almost unreal.

Men for whom kindness is an everyday gesture and has become a force of habit. Men who openly respect them and the people they hold dear.

Men who take on their problems as if it were theirs. Men who take them SERIOUSLY!

I am sharing this because sometimes we are overwhelmed with negative stories of men and it seems like the 'good ones are not yet born'... And you are almost tempted to just settle and go with the one at hand..

Here's just an encouragement - good men are real (honest! lol - I see them, I know them lol).. And yours is round the corner and by God's grace he will find you (soon!)

Of course, relationships have issues, and the best of man is still... man BUT these men are MEN :-D

Have you got a good man? Celebrate him! (Too many negative stories going around) Don't hide it, let other ladies know that it is possible to be with a man who is kind, who cherishes and loves you - all of you!

Saturday, 5 January 2013

Dare to Dream Again....!

So.. at the beginning of this year I wasn't that excited.. Is that the right word?? Probably, un-optimistic is better suited to how I would describe the way I was feeling..

I usually say that I am a 'forever optimist' by the grace of God.. because of my faith and belief in God I always believe that things could only get better and I was Miss Positive. Positive outlook, positive confessions, positive attitude et al..

However, when I think about how 'positive' I was at the beginning of 2012 and how things did not quite (putting it mildly) turn the way I expected, I was a bit more cautious to dream dreams!

I am a dreamer you see... I day-dream, night-dream, morning-dream, night-dream.. All kinds and manner of dreaming! And I always believe that irrespective of what the circumstance may be, it will all be well amazing in the end!

So, when people started saying "Oh, I just believe that 2013 will be a special year!" "I feel something in the air" "Oh this is my year - One, I'm getting married this year!" "One, I'm starting that business this year, I can seee it!".. I nodded with encouragement and hoped for the best.. I was thinking how can I also say all this wonderful things when those I said before hasn't quite materialised? Let God just have mercy.. I was like "Lord, I'm at your mercy.. Oh Lordy Lord!"...

But then, as I studied the word and listened to people around me, I just kept getting it - It's not time to give up now.. It impresses Me (God) when you have unstinting faith that I can do stuff despite what it looks like now... As long as you keep holding on and don't give up, surely EVERYTHING you have been asking/waiting on will come to pass..

And then God reminded me that sometimes, you need to recognise the fact that you ought to be grateful just because you are still standing! You are still here! You have people who are willing to hold you up! You have a hope! You have a future! My plans for you haven't changed! In the midst of it all, I NEVER left you once... infact I built you up.. I am 'fine-tuning you.. I am moulding you and preparing you for greatness! (THANK YOU JESUS!)

And so, the word I got was 'One, don't stop dreaming.. Infact dream again!'.

Just like a girl or guy who has been broken-hearted, trusting again or starting a new relationship and learning to trust again could be one of the most difficult things.. But strength lies in the fact that you are willing to pick yourself up and try again..

In the same vein, after broken/unfulfilled dreams, after disappointments, the best thing you can do for yourself and to the delight of the One who makes dreams come through is to dream again.. In fact dream BIGGER..

Did you fail in 2012? Did you not excel at what you started? Were you disappointed in 2012? Are you far from where you thought you ought to be now?

Let me share this with you.. It's time to dream again.. And please, dream bigger! And let the one who makes dreams come through, make it come to pass for you!

It will surely come to pass..

With lots of love and eagerly awaiting your stories from 2013 (even before the year runs out!)

1 + The One xxxxx

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Happy New Year 2013!

Happy New Year to my very lovely blog fam!

It's so exciting to be celebrating the dawn if 2013 with you and I am certain that this is going to be the best year of our lives so far!

I pray that this year we will experience a miracle in every area that we have been waiting on and praying to God for.. I pray that we will celebrate many many engagements and marriages this year *wink wink*.. We will celebrate new love(s) - SNM take note :-D and I pray that we will have a more intimate work with God as well as a deeper level of commitment and relationship with Him.

I pray that it will be a year of total recovery and restoration for us all and that signs and wonders will be evident in our lives, families and homes.

I pray that for many, we will discover our purpose, make things happen and do great things all to the glory of God!

I pray that our gifts will make room for us and propel us to stand before Kings.

I pray that I will blog more and be a blessing :-D

Sending lots of love and blessings for the new year.

1 + The One xxx