Saturday 28 January 2012

Everyone desires a GREAT man.... But can you handle him?!


Saturday is usually not a blog-day as I have noticed that there are less activities on the internet social scene on Saturdays.. People are too busy catching up with their weekend 'swag' to think about blogging/poking/twittering etc - Well of course we have the loyal faithfuls, never disappointing, ever sure, always faithful lol *iKid*

I was treated to dinner a few days back by one of my dear friends *thank God for great friends*, we were all ladies and of course it was a great rendezvous for catch up on God, life and love! Every time I have the opportunity to sit down with my girls, I have a splendid, naughty and educative time rolled into one + at this particular restaurant, the manager is always kind to give us free drinks *the pleasures of being female! (Everyone loves freebies #fact) lol

So, a few things that I want to share from our conversation :
- Everyone wants a GREAT man but are you willing to be a GREAT woman?
You see, my friends and I all believe in 'The List' and writing the vision of the kind of man we desire to have and to hold as ours (or is it to have and to hold us?). We are as detailed as possible in what we pray to God for The One to have.. And from my point, just reading my list out loud to myself makes me fall in love with the man already! lol.

I have a habit of bringing out the list periodically and reading/confessing what I desire using Psalm 37:4-5 as a base scripture and thanking God for bringing SUCH a man of a man *swoon* into my life.. I wish I could share this list with you... odikwa too much *shakes head* lol.. I must say though that none of the things on my list are unreasonable.. I tried to be as practical and real as possible. And so far so GOOD.. :-)

In addition to writing this list for HIM, I also chose to write a list for HER. You see, a lot of times, we can be so focused on the right kind of man and the qualities that he must possess that we neglect to think about what kind of woman we desire to be.

The questions I usually ask myself is "When this amazing man comes my way, would he himself want me? Would I be the kind of woman that he would also desire to have if he had a list? Would I qualify to be a man's prayer point? Would I be irresistible to have and to hold and to show off for this man?

I have come to realise that as I pray for this man, he is by God's grace becoming a greater asset, and of course we all know that as his value increases so does his taste as well as the interest of some 'others' *rolls eyes* lol.. My point is this, everybody wants a good thing .. you and HIM.. As you desire to have all these wonderful qualities in your partner, it is very important that you are also checking yourself and ensuring that you possess all those things and more! If you want a partner who loves God, do you? If you want a romantic partner, are you? If you want to have a partner who is sound in the word of God, are you?

Having said this, I have to say that my list for the kind of woman I desire to be is longer than his! I also read it out to myself periodically so that in the areas where I am lacking I can ask God for help and also actively work at improving myself..

You see, as I do so, my value increases, I will be able to boldly and confidently give any competition a run for their money (Compe whatt??! lol) we will be a very compatible match *wink wink* and most importantly we will both give God glory!

So what kind of woman do you desire to be? Write it down.. When that GREAT man comes (or if he is already here) then you can definitely handle him :-) xx

Tuesday 17 January 2012

Why am I like this??! - 7 things I have learnt so far...

Hiya good people of blogsville!

Hope the year has started on a very good note asides the #OccupyNigeria issue for Nigerians home and abroad as well as the civil tension.. I join you all in saying to our God in heaven a very hearty "Lord save our nation".

Thanks to all those who commented on the last post and wished me well on this new journey.. So far it's been 2 months in and all I can say is thank GOD! I have learnt (and still learning) a lot in only 2 months; things about God, things about him and the most surprising of all are things about me! Honestly, sometimes it takes allowing someone into your life to open your eyes or reveal some other facets of you that you didn't even know existed *eyes wide open*.. The thing is, not all of these 'revelations' are pleasant.. my goodness!

So, in the past 2 months I think my prayer life and communication with God have definitely increased. In fact I say to Him "Lord, you need to help me cause you know that if you leave me alone to my own devices I would surely 'use my hands' to spoil this thing"... I am learning, I am growing, I am being developed.

I have been able to discuss with a few of my girl-friends and it's amazing how some of the experiences we have are very similar with only some slight variations. I would write down below some of the points I have realised and you tell me if it's common or peculiar to just me:

1. Independent women feel just as insecure as the next person: I am not your overly independent woman, but I believe that I have good self-confidence to a large extent and I am very comfortable in my own skin. Nevertheless, I have come to realise that one of the most important needs of a woman is 'SECURITY'.. This doesn't only have to be financial but emotional as well in a very huge way.. There are times I do certain things to 'test' how deep his love and commitment are to me and usually it does not make sense! lol.. I am learning to let go and just trust him and trust God to make all things beautiful.

2. I OVER-ANALYSE: Mehnnnn... I have become Inspector One overnight! When he says A, I would see how A relates to B and how P may affect A and how A may actually mean Y... lol. I don't know about you, but I have a VERY over-active and over-imaginative mind.. I am always 'thinking'..  I am praying to God to deliver me from 'over-thinking' and just let go (again that word)

3. Dejavu!: In my previous relationships, there were certain things I did that I made up my mind never to do again. For instance, I remember with my first boyfriend (and I blame romance novels especially M&Bs particularly for this one), I used to instigate little tiffs aka little disagreements, and you know how the story goes; you disagree, boy says I'm sorry, girl fronts small or vice versa, eventually there's a making up and it feels like you are back to the honeymoon stage...perfecto! Unfortunately, this gets OLD after a while and only works in novels after a while.. 
To this effect, I am trying and trying not to take offence easily, to allow trivial things go, not to pick on every word that is said and use as a reason to give 'silent treatment'... Motto is: 'Out with the old, in with the new' *so help me God!*.

4. There are no set rules for relationships: Each relationship is unique and special in its own way. What works for A usually may not work for B. How C and D get on may not be the same way for you. You need to find your own relationship niche that works for both of you and stick with it. Never compare, (well except to learn something good for yourself or improve yourself), don't use another relationship or circumstance as a yardstick for yours.

5. Appreciate the little and big things: This one speaks for itself. Always use words of affirmation and words of encouragement, say 'thank you', 'I appreciate you', give compliments. It helps a lot. Be his/her biggest cheerleader. There's always the tendency to lose sight of why you chose him/her in the first place. Go back to that place and learn to value the person you're with because if you don't now, you may remember those good qualities you ignore now when it's too late!

6. Communication is key: It is important to be able to freely express your feelings to each other. Nevertheless, what I have learnt is that in expressing yourself, you have to be sensitive to the feelings of the other person. Sometimes, we may express ourselves to make us feel good or vent and it may really not be necessary. 

7. PRAY and PRAY and PRAY: At the end of the day, every good thing is worth fighting for. I choose to fight on my knees! Rather than nag, pray about it! (Honest truth is I'd rather have it all out here and now than wait for the prayer to be answered, waiting can be long mehn! lol.. But I have learnt that it is more profitable to wait for the Holy Spirit to work things out His own way - God help us!)

So, how about you, what nuggets of wisdom borne out of experience can you share with us? I look forward to hearing yours! 

God bless you xx

Tuesday 3 January 2012

It's a brand NEW journey!!

Happy New Year my darling blogville!

It's been 2months too long and I have missed you all. I'm glad and grateful to God almighty (I just love my Big Daddy!!) that we've had the good opportunity to see the year 2012 and oh my, the days are going by sooo fast already!
So, I guess it's apt for me to ask "What's going on?" "What's new folks?" "What's changed/happened, etc etc?".

Well as you may have already guessed, I have newsssss!!!! lol..
Well, some of you may know that with this blog, I hope to share some of the things I experience on my 'journey' to meeting The One, with the main One the One aka God, my Father being my senior partner.. Well, (don't worry I'm neither married not engaged yet lol) the direction and focus of my writing will change slightly as I am now officially official with an official somebody (if you get my drift hehehe) and if you don't, come back another day when I put up another post..

In this new journey of getting to know and develop a solid relationship with the Mr, I have begun to learn NEW things. I have been able to apply OLD things as well. You know, the interesting thing is that I have come back to this blog a few times to read some of the things I wrote previously as a check/guide in my new relationship. I even shared 'Taking it back Old School' with him lol.. (Truth: It is NOT an easy something at all but God dey :-)

I have come to realise that writing down one's desires and hopes is a great thing to do. It means you can go back again and again to read/have a look at it.

I have always believed very much in 'writing the vision down' as Habakkuk 1:1-3  in the Bible (be honest, did you know there was a Habakkuk in the bible? lol) rightly suggests. One important thing I have learnt so far is that it is profitable and highly recommended to write the vision! Write down your hopes and desires, write down your dreams, write down your requests to God, write down both the important and trivial things for posterity sake. When you come back to the written down vision, it gives you a clearer idea of how far you have come and/or how far behind/below you have reached in order to give you that boost to push harder.

I encourage you to begin to keep a 'vision diary'. Write down what you 'see' or hope to 'see' in your life, in your future, in your walk with God, in your home, in your marriage, in your career, in your finances.. and the list goes on and on! Be as detailed as much as possible and most importantly pray about the things you have written down.

Read it out loud to yourself again and again often (that's word confession!) and I can tell you that very soon, you will begin to see what you wrote come to life. Every time you read them out loud to yourself, they become more real to you!

I hope to share with you on this blog, the things I learn on this journey with this blessed man who has (holy) waltzed into my life and is making such a huge difference in a wonderful way! And my prayer for everyone who desires this as well is that it will come very soon and it will not tarry.

Psalm 37:4-5 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart. Trust also in Him and He will bring it to pass"

God loves you MUCH! xxxxxx