Wednesday, 28 November 2012

How far is far??

'But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people' Ephesians 5:3 (NIV)

Now, I believe I have mentioned / asked about this before on this blog and in many cases, I have had ladies ask this all important question with all sincerity and a desire to get a clear answer..

In a relationship / engagement / pre-marriage, how far is considered a sin?

Please be reminded that I made a pledge to take it back Old school, I failed and then renewed my decision to take it back 'God's School' by God's grace'. I have a desire to do things right and to glorify God in my relationship as much as possible. No compromise by His grace.

Now, most times I have had this discussion with others, there's always a debate about what one should and should not do in a Christian relationship / courtship.. Usually 'fleeing from sexual immorality' a lot of people say is relative.. So it depends on what you and your partner can take or when it becomes wrong / a sin to you. So for some, it's holding hands, for others its kissing and for some, it's a little bit more as long as the line of sex is not crossed...

I have usually agreed with this - so in the past I have subscribed to kissing, then unsubscribed.. but always held firm to the fact that as long as both parties steer clear from sex.. As of course that was a no-no!

However, I saw the above verse of scripture recently on a friend's status and it made a lot of sense.. I have been thinking recently, like real deep thinking of sex and purity before marriage and it has cropped up a lot in discussions with my friends...

The bible says 'even a hint of sexual immorality' must not be found.. So infact, not just sexual immorality itself but anything that resembles, looks like, is close to, or could be....... Hmmmmm

God says it is improper for it to be found amongst God's holy people.

I cannot claim to sit here and say that it is the easiest thing to do in this world but I tell you that if you believe it and purpose in your heart, it is possible. It is not easy but by God's grace it's possible.

So, just to encourage you already in it, you can do it. You can make a decision to handle your relationship God's way. For those preparing to go into a relationship, it is possible by God's grace.. You can honour God with your relationship and put Him first before your desires, emotions and strong feelings.

So, how far is far.. Right now, for me, anything I cannot do with any other male-friend is far..

I choose to guard my heart, body and soul by God's grace.... So help me God xxxx

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Who makes the first moveee?

Hiya, it's your faithful runaway fwend here again, doing what she does best, sneaking in and out! What can I say, forgive moi, life is busy..

So, just a quick-ish one right: What's your thought on a girl making the first move? ie whatever your interpretation is, so could be from initiating the first contact to THAT question "So what's happening between us" to actually plunging right in and asking him to be in a relationship?

Secondly, on a personal note, would you do it / would you mind if as a guy you were asked by a girl?

This question was asked at an event I went to over the weekend and it provoked a debate and basically there were mainly 2 camps -

Camp 1 - Never! How can?! She's presenting herself as cheap! The guy will never respect her! It's not biblical, the bible says 'whoever FINDS a wife hence it's the man that does the finding, it's not in our (African) culture etc

Camp 2 - Why not? We are in the 21st century! Guys can be very slow so they need some help, Ruth slept at the foot of Boaz (technically translating to her making the first move - for non bible scholars, sorry!)

So what you say, yay or nay?

God bless xx

Saturday, 17 November 2012

Walk into your future.. It's time to let the past go

Yesterday, I saw....

There's this girl who had been in  a relationship with this guy. She had loved him and thought they were going to get married. She wasn't being presumptuous as she had indeed been introduced to his parents, siblings and vice versa. He was everything she wanted in a man. I bet she must have confided in him her deepest secrets, shared with him her deepest fears and been grateful that after the rough experiences she had been through thus far, there was finally someone who made it alright in the end.. Her own man.

They shared a deep interest in the same thing, her mum loved him and supported the boy's family who weren't so well to do at the time and she whole-heartedly supported his dreams - she knew he was going to be very great.

His big break came and she couldn't have been more excited or proud... She threw herself in 100% to be able to support him, without expecting much in return from him, just his love and acceptance..

Alas, one day, he tells her in not the most dignified of ways that unfortunately he had to break off the relationship because he had been advised that in order to move far and quickly in his career, he didn't need to have any 'entanglement'.. She was devastated, she was hurt, she felt betrayed, she was ANGRY.. She cried and cried and hoped and hoped...

This happened a few years ago and today they are sworn enemies. She hates him desperately and still hurts from how he treated her. She can't stand to be in his presence or in the same vicinity as him and has vowed never to forgive him as long as she lives.

Now, this story just like any story about heart break makes me sad.. :-( Here's a lovely young girl who has been so affected by one guy's treatment of her that it is affecting her whole life and ability to move on in life...

The truth is that there are many people - male and female who are hurting right now.. who are bitter right now.. who are angry right now... who feel cheated right now.. who are asking 'why?' right now..

While no one may be able to fully understand your hurt or give you the answers or get things back the way they used to be, I just want to highlight the fact that when a man or woman ends a relationship with you and hurts you, you do yourself a disservice by being bitter.

Bitterness only eats you up slowly and makes it difficult to move on. You give permission to that person to keep a hold on your mind, heart and life as long as you remain bitter. Without being flippant, the truth is that it has happened and as sad as it is, you have to find a way to forgive and let go so that you can get freedom from your past..

God has so much more in store for you, so much better prospects for you but if you keep holding on forcefully to how much the person has hurt you or done you wrong, you keep blocking yourself from receiving what God has for you..

Try collecting something with your fist clenched or palms closed (holding on to the past) it's not possible but the moment you choose to open your hands and let go, you simultaneously open your hand to receive.

If you're struggling, please ask God for help. He can help you.

I will also be very happy to pray with you... If you would like that, please send me an email and I promise to pray with you. You don't even have to share what it is if you are  not comfortable. You may just need to have someone (virtually) hold your hands, joining you in prayer.

May God release you from the burdens of the past to walk into your glorious future.

Lots of love xx