Team V for the win!

This post is loonngggggg due! And it was re-inspired/'re-gingered' by this POST written by one of my blog favourites Inthemidstofher.com!

She was responding to a question about sex before marriage and something she mentioned struck me and reminded me of a 'project' I'd wanted to undertake for a while..

For many friends of this blog, you would know that I am proudly and unashamedly Team V! Don't know what Team V stands for? Well it's a term that I got introduced to by InThe in one of her comments on a post I wrote previously..

Team V simply means Team Virgin aka Team Virgin 'r' Us, aka Team no sex before marriage by God's grace aka Team saving it till he puts a ring on it aka Team staying celibate to honour God's word aka Team only by grace can I ever achieve it!

Now, I don't write smugly - not at all (who born?).. I don't write because I feel I have superior will-power that has enabled me to abstain throughout the years! I write cause I want to stand to be counted as one who says - it's by no means easy, but very possible (for both men and women!) by God's GRACE.. Is it easy you ask? Capital NO.. Infact, I dare say it's easier to give in to the whole hype of 'Sex - Everyone is doing it,Pick a Partner today' than to say:

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Everyday sex is thrust in my face through different means and channels.. Both overtly and through innuendos.. People are too happy to share their latest sexual escapades and new adventurous styles.. I sit and listen like a 'foolish' virgin to the 'wsidom' spewed by experienced friends at some bridal showers, reunions etc and I have to admit that it's usually 'safe' to siddon and look rather than tell them the beauty I have experienced in waiting..

Now, when I say beauty, don't get me wrong.. It can be toughhh! I talk to a guy who I totally fancy and I know how my body reacts! (Girls are moved by words afterall).. I read a book or watch a movie and all they have to do is kiss and I know that I'm like "Father can you hear me??!" But has it been worth it? YUP..

It gives me more pleasure to know that I am not compromising my precious relationship with God.. I can do a LOT for it including saying no to pre-marital sex.. It has helped me get over break-ups easier because I know that I haven't left a part of me with him or him with me.. I leave without a 'keepsake'. Then of course, let's not forget the plethora of STDs that I avoid .. And it goes on and on! (I will share in subsequent posts)..

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Anyways, the whole koko of the post is that the silence of people who have chosen to wait can be deafening.. It almost seems like we see it as a 'burden' rather than a gift.. To be quite frank, if we were meant to be shining the light or salting the earth, we are not trying much.. It seems that the candle of pre-marital sex is outshining the bright lamp of (glorious) sex in the context of marriage..

I will be doing more posts on this and hopefully showing how wonderfully possible and incredibly beautiful saying no to sex before marriage is!

So wanna join Team V?? Excellente! It's not too late xxxx

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For the Ladies.. Does he respect you?

A mother was speaking to her young adult son's girlfriend {long tinz,sorry :-) }and she said to her that she knew her son was going to spend the night in her house and she asked the girl about sleeping arrangements et al..

Then she asked in the most polite way "I hope he's respecting you?"

Now you and I know that it was her way of asking a question that she didn't feel was in her place to ask directly seeing as she was speaking to another person's child - an 'advanced' teenager at that (This is the UK and we are Y2K-13 compliant).

While I admire her for daring to ask, I also pay particular attention to the word she used 'respect'.

I know it sounds very old-fashioned but it still remains true.

One of the ways a guy shows his respect for you is his willingness to respect your body and wait with you for marriage before sex.



I want to be with a man who respects my now and my later so much that he chooses to deny himself and wait until he has put a ring on my finger and can gratify (or we gratify each other :-) ) all he wants lawfully, legally, consensually and most importantly, God-ly.

A man who respects my destiny and the God that I serve.

So borrowing the wise words of this mum "I hope he is respecting you?"

PS it's vice versa as well... Do you respect his destiny and purpose enough to wait until marriage?

On Men and Virginity

This post is inspired by one done my one of my favourite bloggers MyneWhitman HERE..

I would love to marry a virgin! Yup, I said it..

I never really put it into consideration when I thought and prayed about the kind of guy I would like to marry but this changed recently..

Usually, pre-marital sex and virginity is discussed mainly with reference to girls and it wasn't considered very 'top-of-the-list' with guys for a variety of reasons.

After my last relationship, I decided that if possible I would want to marry a virgin.. And I am praying about it.

You see, my ex-boyfriend was or is a virgin and honestly, it changed my perspective on a lot of things:

1. I have to admit that I was really impressed and very proud to be with him.
2. It made me understand that irrespective of gender, when a man loves God he can make a commitment and stick with it.
3. I was able to trust him more, knowing that I knew it wouldn't be so easy to sleep around (well, if he had waited that long, I didn't think being with me would push him over the edge to have a sudden change of mind lol)
4. It made me respect his relationship with God.
5. I felt that I would feel more secure if we had gotten married knowing that his love and respect for God would make him not do certain things
6. It made him more willing to respect my decision to wait until marriage before sex.
7. I was glad that had we gotten married, I wouldn't feel like he was comparing me with any other woman. (and mehn, I can have insecurity issues! Oh Lawd!)

I have to say that I don't think by any means that being with or marrying a virgin eliminates issues in relationships / marriages.. Nah! You would still have to work at it.

Most importantly, a successful relationship / marriage takes the GRACE of God!

... My choice is a personal preference, so help me God!