Leave her man alone 2

I knew him first. We knew we had something good almost special (well, I believed we did).. I have even blogged about it HERE

I wanted it to be better defined, he explained why it couldn't be and for some reason, I agreed with him (diary of a fool mugu in 'love'). You see I was so into him, I was happy to have(?) what we had.

Then unceremoniously, she came into his life and just like that, I hear that they were both an item.. I was sad, mildly heartbroken actually, I couldn't understand why? But like the big girl that I am, I didn't cry (well at least not outwardly, but mehn best believe the inner tears were real!) but then the experience taught me, humbled me too - You see, I was that girl who always looked down on girls who 'allowed' things like that to happen to them *rolls eyes*, now I am more empathetic and understanding - I love that as I said HERE

It also taught me to Define a Relationship and not be satisfied with settling for just anything + if a guy is really into you, he would define the relationship..

Anyways, we remained friends - no need to sweat the stuff - and I always felt that he was grateful for that. He still remained one person I knew would bend over backwards for me and I was grateful for that.

(Can I make a confession? I think sometimes during our friendship, I  hoped that one day he would 'come to his senses' and come back).. That was of course until I heard that he had proposed and then they got married. For me that marked the very end - A guy in a relationship is still somehow somehow.. but married?! That's finito! finished! No mincing words about it - I wouldn't even go there!

I respect the institution of marriage and more than that, I respect God!

I maintained my distance and even thought to get to know his wife properly as a protective measure as we would always still be in the same circle (that didn't quite happen). To be very honest, him being married kinda did it for me.. I was not in any way interested in him as I said HERE

Recently, we met again and we had THE talk hence my post HERE.. Again, no hard feelings. We still enjoyed each others' company. He still referred to me as his biggest no 1 fan, he still wanted to do things for me. It was so easy to fall into old habits.. I was beginning to forget that he was married and just remembered the fact that this is my friend, my dawg, we go wayyy back!. To him I would still make an amazing wife, a good mother, great friend et al (of course, this was said friend - friend).

I started to look forward to his calls, talk to him more often.. I mean, this is my bwoyy!

And then I had to stop right in my tracks "ONE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!" Forward ever, backwards never!

What started innocently could potentially violate everything you believe and advocate! I am also a firm believer in 'doing unto others what you want done to you' and I had to be honest with myself that I would not be happy to have my husband that dangerously close to someone with the potential of things going out of control.

I had to GUARD my heart and respect my God and his marriage.

Again, I had more lessons to learn - it doesn't take a lot to do things you never thought you would do.. A little here, a little there.. That's all it takes..
Emotions don't erupt suddenly.. It takes time and can be developed in the little things - a helping hand here, a gratitude there, a weak moment here, a  nice comment there.

Don't get me wrong.. I have many male friends.. Some married as well but I'm learning to recognise when to set boundaries, respect that shiny gold band on their left finger..

In respect to my fellow woman in his house, in respect to him in supporting him to keeping to his end of the deal, and most importantly, in respect to the One I have to give account to when I kneel beside my bed at night or as I communicate with Him throughout the day.

God help us!

Leave her man alone!

I want to get married this year BUT I don't even have a boyfriend.. Is that possible? *thinking*

Ok, so how are you all doing? Great? Great!

Please this message is for the ladies. I have noticed a very distressing thing in Nigeria.. I don't know if it's a new development or I am merely just *waking up* from my slumber hence the coffee smells so strong... *shrugs shoulders*

It has now almost become the norm for married men to have a girl on the side.. Am I right or is it just a figment of my imagination? I would be delighted if I were wrong..

Of course, in situations like this, there are people to be held responsible.. Parties to be blamed, but today I want to appeal to the girl on the side..

It's high time women began to look after one another.. Why would you hurt another woman like yourself in such a way that you know would damage you if put in that position? It baffles me..

I have heard of women who would bend over backwards to be with a married man and even have the effrontery to flaunt it before his wife.

I know many people say that a lot of men cheat (that's debatable) but it takes a willing partner for it to become successful... Have mercy on a woman like yourself and leave HER man alone.. It may not be you, but you have sisters, you have female relatives and someday you may have female children. I tell you the truth, God is clear in His word when He says "whatever a man sows, that will he reap"... There is no doubt about it, you will surely reap.

You cannot expect to add to destroying a woman's home, ruining her family unit and causing such heartbreak for her and the children and then look to have a peaceful life.. No, it wouldn't happen..

Please stop now and let God have mercy..

For some, you may argue that "but I'm not sleeping with him" - Stop calling that married man, stop being his best-friend (that's his wife's duty) and yes even if you feel she's neglecting him, leave them to sort themselves out - stop being his shoulder to cry on, let him cry to God!

Let us learn to look out for one another (guys do it so much better I think).. And when it's your turn, you will enjoy your own home in peace - And God's people say.....

Let's talk about... BOYS!

Valentine countdown special: 3days to go!! :-)

Valentine Post coming soonm but today I want to talk about boys... yes boys! (Like that's not what I talk about a lot lol.. It's my time)

Anyways, I had the opportunity of speaking to one of my exes (is there a word like that??!) who happens to now be a very good friend of mine.
I think I must have mentioned it on the blog before that sometimes when the opportunity arises, I like to know what happened or hear the proper truth, especially when things ended on a confused note..

Well... this one I wanted to know as I was sooo into this guy and things just didn't work out (you know when you even start suspecting 'those people' in the village!)...

So I asked the question, "guy, let's talk?".... And I learnt a few things..

1. Boys tend to run shy away from emotional stuff. (why? I don't know.. I guess they are not built to be as emotional as ladies tend to be)
2. You need to really really understand what they are saying when they are not quite saying it. Boys usually are not the best at expressing themselves and we need to literally pray for a discerning spirit to truly understand when they speak or act in certain ways.
3. Sometimes, it's best not to read a boy's actions 'verbatim'.. understand the reason behind an action. It may not be as straight-forward as you think.
4. When a boy is going through stuff, he has a high tendency to do senseless things and / or push you away. It's not you, it's just his way of dealing with 'stuff'. It's a 'protective' mechanism - they try to use it to protect themselves from being vulnerable. Rather than face it and deal with it, they'd rather not face it and rather push you away. It's not always because feelings have changed towards you, they just prefer to sort out things on their own
5. Sometimes, when a boy acts weirdly, in an unusual manner or out of character, you need to find out why... Boys don't talk or share easily unlike ladies. So in the most loving manner, ask questions, find out what's going on. Be bold to ask difficult questions. (Again, he may become very defensive but prod gently and let him understand in very clear terms that the reason why you ask is because you care).
6. When they push you away or discourage you, still 'push' gently to understand him..

In effect, the underlying issue is communication, especially in relationships. Clear, open and sincere communication cannot be over-emphasised. For any relationship to thrive, both parties have to have an open line of communication and be willing to fully express themselves.

A lot of relationships have suffered huge blows and untimely deaths because of mixed communication, bottling up feelings and emotions, a person's perspective or interpretation of an action etc..

Now, you may have noticed that in the above list, I used the term 'boys'... I believe that when a boy makes that long journey to being a man, those things above shouldn't really be his issue. A man knows how to communicate with his woman. A man is designed to be the head, to lead. Real man have emotions and are not afraid to be vulnerable before someone that they love..... In short, real men are not afraid of love, neither are they afraid of showing love or being loved.

So, what do you think?

PS Welcome to all the new people who are following this blog! You're absolutely wonderful and I appreciate you coming back.. God bless you :-) xxxx

Walk into your future.. It's time to let the past go

Yesterday, I saw....

There's this girl who had been in  a relationship with this guy. She had loved him and thought they were going to get married. She wasn't being presumptuous as she had indeed been introduced to his parents, siblings and vice versa. He was everything she wanted in a man. I bet she must have confided in him her deepest secrets, shared with him her deepest fears and been grateful that after the rough experiences she had been through thus far, there was finally someone who made it alright in the end.. Her own man.

They shared a deep interest in the same thing, her mum loved him and supported the boy's family who weren't so well to do at the time and she whole-heartedly supported his dreams - she knew he was going to be very great.

His big break came and she couldn't have been more excited or proud... She threw herself in 100% to be able to support him, without expecting much in return from him, just his love and acceptance..

Alas, one day, he tells her in not the most dignified of ways that unfortunately he had to break off the relationship because he had been advised that in order to move far and quickly in his career, he didn't need to have any 'entanglement'.. She was devastated, she was hurt, she felt betrayed, she was ANGRY.. She cried and cried and hoped and hoped...

This happened a few years ago and today they are sworn enemies. She hates him desperately and still hurts from how he treated her. She can't stand to be in his presence or in the same vicinity as him and has vowed never to forgive him as long as she lives.

Now, this story just like any story about heart break makes me sad.. :-( Here's a lovely young girl who has been so affected by one guy's treatment of her that it is affecting her whole life and ability to move on in life...

The truth is that there are many people - male and female who are hurting right now.. who are bitter right now.. who are angry right now... who feel cheated right now.. who are asking 'why?' right now..

While no one may be able to fully understand your hurt or give you the answers or get things back the way they used to be, I just want to highlight the fact that when a man or woman ends a relationship with you and hurts you, you do yourself a disservice by being bitter.

Bitterness only eats you up slowly and makes it difficult to move on. You give permission to that person to keep a hold on your mind, heart and life as long as you remain bitter. Without being flippant, the truth is that it has happened and as sad as it is, you have to find a way to forgive and let go so that you can get freedom from your past..

God has so much more in store for you, so much better prospects for you but if you keep holding on forcefully to how much the person has hurt you or done you wrong, you keep blocking yourself from receiving what God has for you..

Try collecting something with your fist clenched or palms closed (holding on to the past) it's not possible but the moment you choose to open your hands and let go, you simultaneously open your hand to receive.

If you're struggling, please ask God for help. He can help you.

I will also be very happy to pray with you... If you would like that, please send me an email oneplustheone@gmail.com and I promise to pray with you. You don't even have to share what it is if you are  not comfortable. You may just need to have someone (virtually) hold your hands, joining you in prayer.

May God release you from the burdens of the past to walk into your glorious future.



Lots of love xx

Cleaning out the Closet...

*Hoovering the dust*
**Side note: But One, this is getting kinda old! *sheepish smile*

Hiya everyone.. It's been a while..

So I was reading an article on Myne Whitman's page here about who gets to keep the engagement ring after a breaking off of the engagement?
The comments were quite interesting but majority of the people supported the fact that it should be returned to the guy since he probably bought it.

Now, I have never been engaged so I don't know what I would do, I guess probably return it to the individual but also I have come to realise that it may also depend on how the engagement ended...

Now, I want to ask as well, after the end of a relationship, do you return the gifts ie the ones that are quite significant and/or expensive?

When I was going out with HOG, one of the great things he used to do very well was give gifts - very nice and poignant ones.
In the past, I haven't had any qualms about using an ex's gifts after breaking up but this one is kinda a bit different and I have been wondering what to do.. To keep? To continue using? To discard? To give out? To sell?

So he loves jewellery a lot and I got a few from him. One of the first gifts he got me was this expensive friendship bracelet which he had a similar type.
On our 'first week anniversary' he gave me a nice Swarovski necklace that had some kind of significance (there was some explanation involved)
He also got a matching ring over Christmas (not engagement) but another thing we had in common, as well as a nice watch.
On another occasion, he got me another nice necklace

So, a while after we broke up, I stopped wearing these things cause:
1. They were quite personal
2. I saw him a few times and I didn't want him to see me wearing them (*covers face*)

Thing is sometimes, I think "What's the big deal, they are mine now" and other times I'm like why are you still holding on to these things.

I have been tempted to sell them (££ hehe) or give them away or give them back.. But I have some reservations about thse options.

At the moment, they are just lying in a box on my bedside table and I'm thinking 'what a waste!'

So what do you think, to keep, to give back, to give away or to make some money? :-)

xxxx

So we Kissed....

I have a confession.. don't take it personal. I have a confession (please) you gotta listen.. (Thank you D'banj! :-)

Ok, on a more real note, I have wanted to write this post for a while but I haven't had the 'energy' to do so but I feel that it is quite important to do so.

Some of you may remember the note 'Taking it Back Old School' where I expressed how I desired my relationship / courtship to be like and hoped it would work out that way. I think I wrote it a few months to my next relationship. I knew that in order to achieve something, it was important to plan ahead for it. I wanted to 'purpose in my heart' like Daniel in the bible did concerning certain decisions, dos and don'ts in my relationship with the One so that things wouldn't 'just happen'. Summary of the post was that before marriage, I wanted to do zilch / nada / nothing sexually with my intended.. so including but not exclusive of kissing, 'quaving' (I don't know if that word still exists!), petting, necking, rubbing etc etc lol

Anyways, thanks to you wonderful people, I had so many encouragements and comments and 'yes you can!' and 'Yes, I will too!'. It was something I desired intently to adhere to and sometimes I would tell my friends, speak it, plan towards it etc.

So, when I met this Christian, tall, talented, gorgeous human being whom I totally totally 'digged' a few months down the line, I was like YES! Thank You Jesus. It was a very flash-fast point from properly meeting / talking / liking / joy / relationship. In fact, point of interaction to relationship was under 1month (God is good! lol). He ticked all the boxes and the most important thing and attractive for me was his walk/relationship with God (that has the potential to make me fall in love with you in seconds haha + the extra summin' summin').

So the day he 'asked me out' (lol) aka for us to become exclusive, inside I was dancing but I was like ok, before I answer, I just have to set out some things and what I had wanted my relationship to be like so I shared with him the 'Taking it back Old School' vision - that was the deal breaker ( I even showed him the post!).. He was mega impressed and totally sold on it agreeing that it was what he wanted as well and could definitely abide by it by God's grace. Haa I was like singing "Jesus, I love you oh!" lol.

The next few weeks was great! We saw each other weekly (we lived in different cities) and it was lovely, just holding hands and hugs when we see + talking, sharing plans and hopes and vision for the near and distant future - it felt GREAT!... But as the days grew by, my attraction shot up by 1000 x 1000 x 1000! I was like mehnnnnn what manner of dilemma is this one? You mean actually 'no kissing'? Oh my! Lord have mercy!

So, One initiated the first kiss.. Yes I did.. I was just like nothing more, just the kiss (I didn't say it loud, just thought it) and it just felt very good, like *sigh* with a tinge of guilt. But as we know, usually after the first taste, other things are bound to follow. We didn't have sex or go deep but there was some kissing and touching (Lord please protect this post from my mother!).

Anyways, why am I sharing this with you? I want to be quite honest with you. From my heart, this was something I wanted to do ie taking it back old school. Not just for the sake of achievement or punishment but more because I honestly wanted to honour God in that way. I have seen people who have done it and I really wanted to commit my relationship to God and honour Him in every way possible. That was my decision and commitment to Him + there are so many things that have started innocently and small and trivial and have ended in a way that we never expected nor planned and I don't want to take that risk at all!

So, I kissed + more... I didn't 'old school' it at all! BUT, I repent. I want to take it God school by God's grace. We broke off the relationship and in a way I thank God for the perspective it's brought back again. I know it's easier said when you're not in a relationship and the attraction is not there to propel you but I believe it's possible. God knows I sincerely want it to work in a way that is pleasing to Him and in a different way for Him.

I have decided that I won't give up my desire and given the opportunity and grace, I would attempt it again - only by GRACE. I have also learnt a lot of things for my future relationship that I hope to share in coming posts.

Also, may I encourage you that if you made a pledge / commitment / decision and for one reason or the other you have failed to do so, God is wonderful in the way He has mercy and forgives, He never gives up on you and I so don't give up on yourself irrespective of how many times you have tried! I believe that He honours effort and gives grace to achieve.

So, ladies and gentlemen, One is taking it God's School! .... So help me God :-)

The 100th One! Yayy!!

This is my 100th post on 1 + The One, yay!! I don't even know what to say but laugh hehehehehehe.. I'm smilinggggg... Thank you Jesus! I have actually never celebrated a landmark on here so allow me to be happy :-D :-D

So as you may have guessed, I am intrigued by relationships :-)

I love love, and everything about it! I love the love of God and I love the love that I have experienced thus far in my life..

I have always wondered if it is worth falling in love even if it doesn't last or it's cut short. So, would you rather fall in love and experience heart-break it's end or would you rather not love at all than go through the whole hurt.. 

Hmmmmm, I've always wondered as sometimes depending on what frame of mind I am in at the time, I'm like 'Oh, I don't regret being with him at all, the joys of being in love with him I will not trade at all' and other days I'm like 'Oh Lord, if you knew it would not work out, why did you make it happen? I would rather have not than have to face this intense sadness'.... You see, I belong to the category of people who when they love, love hard! It doesn't happen easily but when it does, it hits hard!

So what do you think? Which school of thought do you belong to?

To love and lose but be grateful for the experience or to love and lose and wish you never had to go through it?

At the moment, I'm in a grateful place so I am dedicating this post to HOG!

You have a special place in my heart bebe! Love you still xx

Thank God for Closed Doors!

I have been thinking and reflecting recently and today I listened to a wonderful message by Joel Osteen about 'The God who closes Doors'.

It was just a confirmation of the encouragement and words I have been getting from God. I will be writing from the point of relationships but please feel free to apply it as you deem fit.

So, I have been very very sad about the end of my last relationship. To be honest, I thought he was the One. Even though I had only known him for a short while, I was convinced it was one of those relationships that take off very quickly because you just KNOW... 

He was many things I had hoped and prayed for in my future partner. In fact I had admired him from afar and the fact that it became real made me want to sing and dance for joy. I was sooo in lovee! I kept thanking God everyday that not only did he bring someone into my life, He brought HIM.. It was an answer to my prayers and I felt a reward for all the time of waiting!

I don't think both of us would have ever thought that very shortly down the line we would be calling it quits and for no apparent reason. It just wasn't working out and I did not want to remain in something that wasn't 100%. I desire God's best and I wasn't ready for anything less no matter how attractively packaged it was. I must admit that I had my own issues etc but I don't think it was over the top. 

So when it ended, I cried and cried! I didn't even know it could ever get to me like that! I have had my fair share of disappointments in relationships so I thought it would just be one of those things but this one was different. I don't think I have ever felt this heart-broken and helpless before. 

Of course the next thing I did was turn to God.. I prayed and prayed! I asked God for mercy, to right the wrong. To make him come back... But He didn't or He hasn't and I have been so discouraged. What makes it worse is that there is no apparent reason why it had to end. 

... However, I am coming to understand that sometimes God closes a door to open THE door and like Joel Osteen said in his message, He loves you too much to give you less when you cry for it when He knows that the best is coming! Our thoughts/visions/plans are way limited compared to what God has in store for us. And sometimes He withholds what looks ideal to our human eyes to enable us get the real deal! 

..Sometimes though, He requires you to give up that precious thing to prove that without it you can still remain happy and content in Him. If He chooses, He brings it back, just like Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 22:!-19) BUT even if He doesn't, know that He has not a shred of wickedness in Him.. All God has for you and I is love and He ONLY ever wants the best for you.

Be encouraged, you and I don't know what God has just saved us from because our sight is limited but in due season, you will come to know and appreciate Him even more. Right now, all you can do is trust in Him, thank Him in all situations and wait with the right attitude for the very BEST He has for you.

Lots of love xxxx

Journey to the One (2)

... Here's the other part of the tale of my first love (FL). I would do this post differently and start to mention the things that I learnt from this particular experience. Some from the upheavals I experienced, while some are things that occurred to me with the fortune of hindsight (hope it makes sense!)

1. I always had a bit of an unrest in my mind about the fact that he wasn't a born again Christian but I was so into him, I was fine with him being just a good guy : Now the danger here is that there were certain things that I believed in that he didn't necessaray share the same values. Chief of that was my stance on pre-marital sex which was a no-go area and I wasn't willing to compromise. Truth is that he never did put any pressure on me but I believe the thought that he would have to remain celibate throughout the life of our relationship(!) was one of the things that contributed to us breaking up. The importance of being honest and open about expectations in  your relationship at the beginning cannot be over-stressed. It would help to avoid heartbreak in future. Trust me, it's worth it! Don't avoid the 'serious' talk, face it full on and be prepared to act on the outcome..

2. From this relationship, I understood that love is real and can be a beautiful thing! Truth is I am grateful for this experience because even though after this, along the way I have come across a lot of love 'look-alikes', my relationship with FL made it possible for me to know first hand that 'that' kinda butterfly-inducing tingling sensation is VERY possible. It's not a myth as some love-cynics may suggest but it is very possible. I have had discussions with people who have lost faith in the possibility of true love as a result of things they have been through and they are quite adamant that there is no such thing as real love. Others have said that ALL men are terrible and that relationships/marriages are meant to be endured not enjoyed. Well I strongly beg to differ. Not only did I have the absolute delight of being in a loving relationship, I have seen marriages of many years to support my view! So, I am always grateful to FL that my first real relationship set the pace for me to keep on believing, keep hope alive! I refuse to settle for less than the best as I have experienced that the best IS possible :-).. Oh and of course with GOD all things are possible.. YES!!

3. Romance books can damage your sense of reality: Now, I am not against romantic novels or literature (Myne Whitman, I believe, I believe :-) but I would say that it is very necessary to not get lost in fiction and forget how to live in real life! I read a LOT! And 90% of my reading are romantic fictions (especially Mills and Boon and the likes at that time). Now, my favourite part of a romantic novel is that part towards the end when something will happen that will make the main characters have a disagreement (almost or actually leading to a break-up) and then something happens to bring them back and the reconciliation bit makes the time spent reading the novel worthwhile. I used to look forward to the fights! Oh la la! Usually after a 'successful' fight, both parties admit that they actually do love each other or there's a proposal or there's a tearful and beautiful reunion with a stronger affirmation and profession of love for each other *swoon* (did I forget to mention that I love love?? :-) Anyways, so when I was in my first real relationship, I had a serious case of 'UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS'... My goodness, was I infected badly! I used to instigate mini-fights and 'let's go on a break' just to spice up the relationship I SMH for myself! As you would imagine, it was very bad for the relationship! At first, FL would beg and accept and it would be just like in the books and movies but after a while it started getting OLD! Infact I have learnt that a good relationship is one in which both parties have realistic expectations of each other without given one's partner the impossible task of being like a fictional character.

Anyways, all these factors coupled with a few more (he never cheated, thank God!), the poor fragile relationship didn't survive.
Interestingly, I had the opportunity to ask him recently what didn't work out from his perspective and his response was that he wasn't able to handle how serious we seemed to be and at that age he couldn't come to terms with the fact that as he was newly in University, he wouldn't have options etc.. Ah well, like I teased him, he wanted to sow his university oats!

Journey to the One... (1)

Hiya lovely people!

I would never have thought that I would take such a long time in doing a follow-up post to the last one! A lot has been going on and I kinda couldn't find/get my blogging mojo.. But like Stella, I'm trying to get my groove back! (Cheesy I know hehehe)..
So I don't know how to assess the last month.. On one hand it was really good and on another hand it was :-(.. I will spare you the details.

So in my last post, I introduced a series that I hope to continue in the next coming days (not weeks nor months nor years, but days - So help me God!). I was doing a sort of flashback and was evaluating how past relationships have moulded me - knowingly and unknowingly - to the kind of other half I am today.

Now, let me start with my 'first love'..
Most people have one of these, the first guy/girl who showed you what it means to fall deep into the ocean of love. The first person that made your stomach dip whenever you saw him/her or heard their voice. That first crazy/beautiful love. The one that you usually don't forget.
For me, it was the innocent, the world is black and white, love is a simple thing, kinda love. And I loved it!

Growing up as a Christian and coupled with the fact that I was an unrepentant, die-hard romantic (still very much am!), I always wanted and totally believed that I would marry my first boyfriend. I had thought that having waited quite well through my teen years, the boy/man I would finally meet would be the one I would settle with and live happily ever after!

Oh well, when I met my first love (FL), I didn't even think we would ever be in a relationship! It started out as a very innocent friendship and because he was a year younger than I was, I always had it at the back of my mind that 'nah, no go area'.. We grew as friends (thanks to hi5.. who remembers the days of hi5? lol) and in my naivety, I didn't even realise when we started getting closer and my feelings towards him started changing. To be honest, I didn't even think I was ready for a relationship.. besides he wasn't a Christian-Christian like that.. Just a very good guy...

To cut a long story short, he asked me out, I thought 'No way!'... He did again a few weeks later at which point he noted that we had grown so emotionally close and he couldn't hack it any longer as being 'just friends'.. I had a long think about it.. In real terms, we were emotionally involved and saying yes would only make it official (I was SCARED! Me, in a real relationship??!?!!).. In the end, I realised that I really liked him and thought I had grown so attached to him that losing the friendship would have been blahhhh!

...I remember the simple but sweet  things.. the first day he said 'I love you'.. I remember how innocent and almost child-like our relationship was. I remember how having never been hurt or experienced the realities of a relationship (apart from what the endless rom coms and novels I had fed on hitherto taught me), I felt so relaxed and care-free.. I had no issues with trust (Well.. apart from when I conjured things in my head...), I was so confident in the relationship and in myself as a person (healthy self-esteem :-) that I could never even imagine him looking at another girl!

Anyways, then came the lull in the relationship, we both had some growing up to do etc etc.. I will have to continue this in a bit as I have a meeting to attend now :-)

xxxx

Dear Daddy....... It's a Journey!

Dear Daddy,

I know it's a Monday and normally, I write to you on Fridays (When I actually do write..*sorry* :-). I discovered that sometimes, writing a letter to you makes it easier to express myself.

As always, let me start by saying I love you from the bottom of my heart, you're my number 1! My first love, my best friend, my confidant, my joy, my hero, my daddy.

Daddy, it's a confused little girl that's writing to you this afternoon.. You know Mr E that I was talking to you about in our earlier post here well, it seems like the feelings are back again! I don't know what to do!

You see I really had closed that chapter and even moved on but you see recently we had the opportunity (?) to spend some time together and I loved EVERY bit of it. He brought back all those memories again, how he made me come alive, how it was so easy for him to make me smile or laugh at silly things. How he made me feel young and adventurous! How he seemed to make me come alive!

I wish things could be so much more simpler but alas!!!! But as I read the description of this blog I remember what I said in my first post here.. This thing of "waiting for the one" is a journey and like all life's journeys, you encounter different experiences to spice up the experience.. I guess this is part of my story..

However way it turns out, I hope to use my journey to inspire, educate and bring humour to someone else's life...

Thank you daddy 'cause I am certain that you have the BEST plans for me and for that I am thankful. Thank you for this Adam to my Eve, thank you for keeping him especially for me. Thank you for ensuring that we compliment each other, thank you for all those things on my list that you have put into consideration when leading him to me. :-)

And thank you for all the young ladies and men who are also trusting you to bring them to the completion of this part of the journey...

Love Always,
One

Till death doth this Go?

I told you I would be back *wink*

Hope you all had a great day, mine was nothing short of AWESOME!! I attended a FANTASTIC gospel concert and it was absolutely fabulous.. even if I am lying in bed at the moment, not being able to move! I tell you, High praise is the most effective anti-dote to feeling low/discouraged/depressed/guilty/sad/heart-broken etc.... Why don't you try it out tomorrow... It's Sunday, you can have some "Praise-o-fen".. (If this encourages at least one person to attend church tomorrow, you would have made my weekend + your weekend + His weekend! :-)

Tell me how it goes, I eagerly await your positive responses!!

On another note, I have always wondered if it were possible to completely fall out of love with an ex.. You see, people say that love lasts forever and that like energy, it is never lost but is only transformed to another form. So for instance, love doesn't end with a relationship, it only translates to another emotion such as hate, anger or jealousy...

So I say to myself, that must be quite a situation for a lot of people seeing as sometimes before you meet The One, you kiss quite a number of frogs/caterpillars/apes (lol) whom you sometimes fall in love with (?)....

So there was this guy I (think) I was in love with and now I (almost strongly) believe I have gotten over him.. The thing is, I haven't seen him in a while and so the letting go part has been quite good.. He's coming into town soon and I am about to know for sure if it's all done and dusted now! I am actually looking forward to seeing him so I can analyse the way I react/respond to him.. I shall definitely be coming back to share with you..

Afterwards, then I would do a post on "How to Let Go" or perhaps "How to handle unwanted emotions"... Please pray with me that it would be the former! lol

Lots of love xx

Case of the Ex

I just finished chatting with the ex.... He was the one I could say I was actually "crazy" about... There was just this connection that was special...He was the one guy that I was just soo attracted to.. Not because he was drop dead gorgeous (brother is good-looking though) but that wasn't the main thing, that's when I realised how the deeper you felt for a guy influenced how physically attracted you were to him...

So we were chatting on messenger today and catching up, laughing and stuff (even the littlest things are funny when we talk) I guess there's just this compatibility factor...

Yeah, so today I finally told him about the fact that I was seeing someone. I wasn't hiding it but we havent spoken in a while.. It was a bit...... I don't know..

I love my boyfriend but sometimes especially at this early stage, I get doubts sometimes (yeah, I was going to ask about that, is that normal at the beginning of relationships? Is it normal to ask questions like "have I made the right decision? Definately definately surely sure?) Like I mentioned in my earlier post here, though I sometimes have doubts, sometimes I am soo sure... So I was wondering if that was normal.. hmmm

But as me and the ex were talking, I started to reminisce on the old days and in truth I miss him, but I love my boyfriend....I loveD the ex but I love by boyfriend...

So I asked myself the question I have always pondered on, when you fall in love, what happens when things don't work out, was it that it wasn't really love in the first place? Do you stop loving the person? Can you stop loving someone? Is it possible to stop loving someone? If it is, what do you now feel for the person if you don't hate them? Would the person forever have a special place? If yes, then doesn't that put a strain on your current relationship?

I wonder, I just wonder (For those who watched "Third-Eye :-)

So any takers??
xx