Wednesday 16 November 2016

Whatsapp Video Calls - Hello LDR!!

Today I made my first Whatsapp video call and I am very very excited!!! Yayyy.... Mark Zuckerberg just stepped in and changed the game..

One of the first things I thought about was that Long Distance Relationships (LDR) don't have to be that tedious or expensive any more!!

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Thank you Skype, Whatsapp, Facetime etc!!
I remember telling a great guy once that I couldn't explore a relationship with him because the distance was a big NO NO! Been there, done that, threw away the t-shirt! The hassle and the stress of the distance was just too much (and that's in addition to other things that crop up in a relationship!)

I remember being in an LDR and as good as it was, I would have definitely preferred being in the same city with him. For one, it was quite expensive managing the travels (more on him that me, kudos to him!), communication was mainly audio so it gave room for many gaps to be filled by an overactive mind (me), as much as we talked/chatted etc, it wasn't the same as being in the same room/place, doing things together.

Sometimes, you just review it and you wonder if it is worth the stress!

Thank God some people have been able to manage it and turn it round to be very beautiful!

If you are currently in a long distance relationships, here are some things that could help:

1. Be very open in your communication. Be as interactive as possible.

2. Be tolerant - More than ever, you put into action these qualities of love that are highlighted in 1Cor 13 - "Love always trusts, always hopes (for the best), always perseveres!"

3. Look for creative ways to communicate with each other without suffocating each other!

4. As much as possible, plan visits and trips (in groups!). Make it a priority to see regularly as much as your finance allows you!

5.  Use technology to the best of your relationship - Whatsapp video calls, Facetime, Whatsapp chats, DM each other on Instagram or Twitter.. Make it as exciting and dynamic as possible.

6. Set out specific 'virtual date' times. Eat dinner together, go see a movie and talk about it. Try to cultivate a habit of enjoying activities together and talking about it, albeit remotely.

7. Make the time spent together (when you do see count). Don't spend it having petty fights and disagreements.

8. Forgive quickly, let things go!

9. I know I've mentioned this before but - TRUST, TRUST, TRUST!!

10. The summary of the above is communication - in a variety of ways! One of the biggest builders or killers of long distance relationships is a lack of friendship and communication.

It's very possible, you can thrive LDR-style, put in the work required and enjoy every step of the way!


So tell me, have you been or are you in a long distance relationship? How's it working out for you? How has social media/technology helped your relationship?


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Thursday 10 November 2016

Don't Forget to LIVE!!!

I remember being asked once what one thing I'd like to say to my younger self. 
As this was with regards to relationships and life, I knew there was certainly one thing I would like to tell the younger Ayo if given the opportunity:

"Enjoy your youth, don't focus so much on relationships and getting married that you forget to LIVE!!"

Don't forget to LIVE!!
I was sharing at the meeting that according to my view on how my life should go, I ought to have been married at the age of 23! *I laugh in Afemai*.

I had always been in love with the idea of love and even while I was a teenager, I fantasised about what my life would be with my significant other! I dreamt and had visions of romance and flowery moments and memories. I couldn't wait to get married and like many young girls, I wanted to hopefully marry my first boyfriend - you know, high school sweetheart fairytale. 

So I spent a lot of time trying to see if the next guy that spoke to me was the much awaited promised messiah spouse. I can't tell you how many times I tried out surnames and signatures *covers face* hahaha..

If I knew I would still be single 7 years after the deadline year, I would have saved myself all that stress!! 

I would have rather enjoyed making friends and doing just that! Not worrying about compatibility or going the extra mile! I would have relaxed much more knowing that when it was God's time, He would make it happen without me having to make such a fuss, after all, He makes all things beautiful in His time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Today, I meet many young ladies and guys who are in very similar frames of mind I was in myself and I want to BEG them to just chill! Yes, pray about marriage, learn about it, don't neglect it but relax, enjoy knowing yourself, enjoy life and beautiful friendships, save yourself tears and anxieties worrying about what you should not be anxious about.

Focus on building yourself, working on cultivating a close relationship with God, building your portfolio as a human being, sowing great seeds for your future and that of generations after you - Learn a new skill; you could even set a self-development challenge for yourself each month. You have the gift of time, give it up for a good cause.

Please, don't waste this beautiful season of your life trying to be in the next season without actually being in the next season (you get me?) (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

May God help us all!

Lots of love xxxx

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Trust Him, Enjoy each season!


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Tuesday 1 November 2016

You Won't Even Smell Like Smoke!

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Thank God!
I was ill over the weekend and the kind of job that I do, you can't afford to be ill too often or at worst, no matter what happens, or how you're feeling - the show must go on! lol (I love my job by the way).

So I tried to rest on Sunday, getting ready for Monday... Monday was a day I don't want to repeat ever again! I was in such pain and I wanted it to go away!

Tuesday came, I felt much better but still a bit under the weather. What made me smile was speaking to my mum later on and she commenting that she watched me during the TV show and she couldn't even tell I wasn't feeling very well. I smiled and I said to her that it's all for show, all acting! :-) As I said that, it crossed my mind that indeed that's what a lot of us do - Put on an act, put on a show, put on a mask as if everything is alright, yet what's going on underneath is badddd!

It's a very sad and unpleasant place to be. Thank God for the people we can be real with, those who know that when the credits roll and the lights go off, you're spluttering, and it's not a pretty sight. The ones who are there to hold your hands, pat your back, wipe your tears, lift you up.

Something else that crossed my mind was that the previous night, I was in such bad shape but towards the end of today, I was good! (Thank God). If you saw me, you wouldn't even believe what I had been through. Indeed, trying to describe it was tedious as it was difficult to reconcile what I described and what I had now become - healthy, smiley and jumpy!

This is what God can do. In life, we go through storms, pains and difficulties that seem as if they would break us, totally finish us... In fact, for many people, that Tiwa Savage / Dr Sid song applies "If I start to talk..." BUT after the storm, by the grace of God, when things turn around, it will be difficult for people to imagine that you are the same person who went through that storm... You will come out without scars. Here's a bible promise for you -

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flames scorch you" (Isaiah 43:2)

Also, remember the 3 Hebrew boys (Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego) in the fiery furnace? They came out of the fire and not even a hair on their bodies was singed or touched by the fire. They didn't even smell like smoke!

".... And they saw these men on whose bodies the fire had no power; the hair of their head was not singed nor were their garments affected, and the smell of fire was not on them" - (Daniel 3:27)

When you come through, may you not 'smell' or look like what you've been through! Yes, your experience will bless someone else, but not only can God heal you and make you whole (from the inside out), He can do it without leaving a scar.

Happy November beautiful people xxxx

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