Friday, 24 April 2009

Pass You By - A Boyz II Men Lesson

So I was doing my blog- round with some Boyz II Men playing softly in the background.. I was reading all the comments for my last post (thanks for your comments guys!) Yeah so, this song by BoyZ II Men came up and when I heard the chorus I was like wow so true.. Recently I have been reading/hearing how ladies go through this "wrong love" syndrome.. It's as old as old itself and the funny thing is one would have thought that by now we all will be wiser...I'm sure guys also go through this albeit very rarely..

So why do ladies "stick it out" with a guy that maltreats them? There are many "good" reasons that have been given for staying in such a relationship..."Oh I love him so much", "it's really not that bad, it's only when I upset him or when he is angry/drunk/depressed", "he loves me a lot that's why he acts like that when he gets jealous", "I'm the one that he really loves, the other girls are the ones who keep running after him", "it's normal in all relationships, every one has up and down moments"......too many reasons/excuses, yet all not valid for staying with someone who would end up killing you deep inside...
So here are excerpts from the song, it's self-explanatory really,

"Don't have to stay with someone

That makes you cry

You'll end up killing all the love you have inside

Can't hope to see the sun

If you don't open your eyes

Girl don't let real love pass you by"

If he makes you cry, if he makes you sad, if he makes you lose your self esteem, leave, don't stay with him... If he makes you an emotional yoyo- high one second and so low the next- he is slowly killing the essence of you.. No one should ever be allowed to do that to you. Sad thing is if you stay with him, you will miss out on the opportunity to open your eyes and your heart to another person worthy of your love.

It's funny how we think "its him or no other", trust me, you would never find out the truth if you continue to stay with him...remember just as the saying goes .." a child thinks his father's farm is the biggest and the best until he goes out and sees the neighbours".. You can definately do better..

The beginning of the song talks about how amazing the girl was

"She was like nothing I'd ever known

Her eyes shine like diamonds, in a field of snow"...

YOU ARE A STAR, PRICELESS, BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY CREATED.. You need to be with someone who not only knows and says it but makes you feel that way..You need a man who would celebrate you just as you do to him. Don't settle for any less...

"You can see the glow slowly fading from her eyes

Though she denies her pain and her dismay"

A good man makes you feel like you can "touch the sky" just as Celine Dion sang but the wrong one takes away the sparkle from your eyes, you become a shadow of yourself.. if he does that to you, please don't stay. there's potential in you that the right sort of loving releases, don't deny your destiny the opportunity to manifest.. don't deny yourself the experience of true joy and fulfillment..

Rememember, you deserve a good man, it's not only a select few that are destined to be loved, EVERYONE is entitled to it, don't let him cheat you out of it, more importantly, don't cheat yourself.. It's a decision you have to make. It may seem hard or even impossible but do yourself a favour... If you don't take off the rag, you would not be able to wear the princely robe, if you don't let it go, the good man waiting round the corner would pass you by...

God wants only the best for you...let it go and let Him show you what real love is

Here's the song....

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Case of the Ex

I just finished chatting with the ex.... He was the one I could say I was actually "crazy" about... There was just this connection that was special...He was the one guy that I was just soo attracted to.. Not because he was drop dead gorgeous (brother is good-looking though) but that wasn't the main thing, that's when I realised how the deeper you felt for a guy influenced how physically attracted you were to him...

So we were chatting on messenger today and catching up, laughing and stuff (even the littlest things are funny when we talk) I guess there's just this compatibility factor...

Yeah, so today I finally told him about the fact that I was seeing someone. I wasn't hiding it but we havent spoken in a while.. It was a bit...... I don't know..

I love my boyfriend but sometimes especially at this early stage, I get doubts sometimes (yeah, I was going to ask about that, is that normal at the beginning of relationships? Is it normal to ask questions like "have I made the right decision? Definately definately surely sure?) Like I mentioned in my earlier post here, though I sometimes have doubts, sometimes I am soo sure... So I was wondering if that was normal.. hmmm

But as me and the ex were talking, I started to reminisce on the old days and in truth I miss him, but I love my boyfriend....I loveD the ex but I love by boyfriend...

So I asked myself the question I have always pondered on, when you fall in love, what happens when things don't work out, was it that it wasn't really love in the first place? Do you stop loving the person? Can you stop loving someone? Is it possible to stop loving someone? If it is, what do you now feel for the person if you don't hate them? Would the person forever have a special place? If yes, then doesn't that put a strain on your current relationship?

I wonder, I just wonder (For those who watched "Third-Eye :-)

So any takers??

Monday, 20 April 2009

Daddy's Angry Again

Daddy's angry again.
He's shouting and screaming
Using bad words
I didn't do anything
No, nothing major
I only asked for money for fees
He hates when I come with these requests
They seem to get to him so
Not that he doesn't love me
No, no he does
So very much
Then why is he so upset at me?
I didn't impose the fees
If I had my way there wouldn't be any
Maybe I should keep quiet
But then I would be kicked out of school
Then he would be MADDDD
Maybe I should wait longer
But then it would leave him less time to source for the money
He would still be MADD
Why did we become poor?
Daddy is a good man
Hardworking and honest
Loyal and faithful
Loves and obeys God
Why did things become so tough
Why is he angry at the mention of money?
When would we be rich again?
When would money not be a problem?
Why is the world so unfair?

But like Psalm 126 v 5-6
I will wait
I have to wait
I can only wait

(For all those in the "waiting" period - whatever it may be, marriage, money, child, success, school, health - God will surely come through for you, He hasn't forgotten you. Although it seems as if the wait would never end.. remember "even if your father and your mother forsake you He would not leave you" (Psalm 91v10) Hold on, hold on, hold on.... Don't be discouraged He loves you more than you know. After crying all night, your joy would come in the morning...

If nothing else, remember: God loves you sooooo much!

Baby, Why haven't you called?

Oh I can't wait to finish this project so I can get my life back!! lol

I want to bloggggggggggg! I actually now prefer it to facebook *gasp, shock horror* lol. But blogville + citizens are too much, wonderful people......And one would never guess how addictive it is, like the pringles advert, "once you pop, you can't stop" erhmm more like "once you start you just keep going, from one link to another and another 'nother....."

So yeah last week I was walking back home from the library with two guys and they were having this conversation (without me), I didn't know them but we were walking together - long story)....Anyways the conversation went something like this:

Guy 1: All she wants to do is talk on the phone all the time. I told her at the beginning that I am not a phone kinda guy and she was like ok but now its call this, call that!
Guy 2: Oh yours is better, mine just wants to text all day, I'm like 'what the...'

I couldnt really contribute to the convo as I was not invited (lol) but I was just smiling to myself like "so it's a general phenomenon"....Funny thing was that me and my friends were just talking about how we wished our boyfriends would call more and more importantly do it without us prompting them to, why they don't like talking on the phone etc etc...

Usually my convo with the bfriend is *phone rings*, I see his name, I get excited and then...

Me: It's not fair, you don't love me anymore, since morning I havent spoken to you!
Him: But I spoke to you this morning!
Me: That wasn't a conversation, it was only for 5mins...
Him: *Confused silence*

But really, why don't guys understand the importance of being on the phone for ages? I know ladies talk a lot (As for me, I can be given a Nobel prize for my outstanding contribution to the art of Thing is he understands and indulges me most times (bless him) but then sometimes it's not convenient for him esp late at night after a long day and he's like "darling, I am tired" and I am like but "love is sacrifice" :-)

I have a feeling that I am not the only chic that thinks this way (or am I?? That would be a scary thought) But I know countless times when my friends (who by the way, have spoken to the bf recently) would pick up their ringing phones and be like (ever so softly) "Babyyy, why haven't you called me since?"

PS Do guys get irritated by this?
PPS I havent spoken to the boyfriend today sooo he's kinda in for the question (he called when I was asleep this morning so that doesn't count right? :-)

God bless

Friday, 17 April 2009

Because I'm worth it!

Just checking in.....

I only started reading blogs properly late last year, thinking before then that it was a huge waste of time (lol, now i gladly eat my words!). I got introduced (addicted) to blogville through Linda Ikeji (Love her blog, really down to earth). It was recommended to me by my mum who is such a big fan.. The surprising thing is that usually my mum is not so into social networks, blogs etc, I'm sure the only function the internet served her was to check her e-mail like once in a yellow moon. Therefore her loving Linda Ikeji's blog was a big(s) deal lol.

Not until I started following her write-ups did I come to appreciate blogging, infact I must admit that Linda inspired me to starting my own blog!! I love the way she is soo open and honest about her views and opinions not minding if everyone concurs or not. Before I started reading her blog, I hadn't heard a lot about her, although I have come to realise that she's one of Nigeria's top models and young female entrepreneurs.... Nigeria's own Tyra Banks! You go girl!!!

Back to life and living, it's so easy to forget to stop and appreciate life. We are all busy with living and trying to survive in this crazy crazy world!! The sad thing is after everything, we would still die, that's a harsh certainty... The only thing that makes all our struggling worthwhile is what we choose to do with our life whilst alive....

There's a saying which goes "when life gives you lemons, make lemonades". I know it's easier said than done but in order to achieve a fulfilling life, one has to work towards it. Appreciate the important things in life, learn to say "I love you" even if sometimes they don't say it back, saying it makes you feel good! Learn to express yourself..even if people don't like it, that's who you are and changing that would only make them happy and you miserable. One important thing to always remember is that you feel most comfortable in your own skin, be yourself at all times!!!

Learn to take corrections and accept criticism in good faith. RESPECT yourself. Don't allow anyone take you for granted, you are special and unique. It's not just a saying, it's actually true. The way you comport youself determines the way people treat you. When you believe something or believe in something, it reflects in your actions. Act like you believe in yourself, act like you believe that you are one of a kind! Improve your self-esteem, feel good about yourself.

Don't forget to treat others the way you want to be treated, remember what goes around comes around and you only reap what you sow.

Trust in God, He's the only one that makes it all worth it... He thinks the world of you, when you imagine that someone sooo great, who could have a pick of who to love, chose you to just love......haaa, that's a huge ego-booster. He doesn't joke with you so why should mere man? Because of Him you are soo special!! Hold that thought, don't let what "he said" or "she said" discourage you, You are worth it!!


Thursday, 16 April 2009

Random Thoughts

I am soo buoyed over with work, aaargghhh!
Someone PLEASE get me out here!
I miss my boyfriend, wish I could see him right now!
I am not meant to be on blogsville until after the end of the day.
I am sorry I have to break that rule today.
I am tired of researching.
I want my stress-free, essay-free, research-free life back!
I want to sleep, wake-up, eat, sleep, wake-up, eat....(You get my drift)
Education is very tasking and mind-numbing.
Why do people go on and on about it!?
Did I forget to mention that I want to see my boooo?
My bad! Ok, I want to see him, I miss him :-)
I have a new toaster (make that 2)
It's funny how the dating scene is dry UNTIL you get off it then it starts raining men.
Life is full of irony(s) like that.
Ok enough rambling.
Back to work... (Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!)

(That felt good :-)
Hugs, kisses, God bless xx

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Knock Knock..

Hiya blogville!!

See I love you sooo much that rather than studying I am sneaking to do a quick post :-)

Anyways, although I cannot write a full post at the moment I thought to share this lovely joke(s) with y'all...

Special shout out to Ms FlyHigh and Doll. I really and truly appreciate your comments, you guys ROCK!!

Ways girls turn (UN)romantic guys down

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon .I've been looking for a face
like yours!!!

HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your
wildest dreams

Monday, 13 April 2009

Random + Laying it Bare


- I am all tied up with my final project (Not finding it funny, can't wait for it to be ALL OVER!!)
- But I still have time for blog rounds and facebook :-) Maybe I should quit..the latter.
- I have discovered some new blog *treasures* (You guys are bad for my academic life... but I love you really, lol) - Ms FlyHigh, AnotherShot, Buttercup, Just...Toluwa

And yeah, I got this write-up (with permission) to share...It makes a lot of sense...enjoy!

‘Then the Lord answered me and said:
“Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it” Habakkuk 2v3 (NKJV)

It’s funny how we make extensive and comprehensive preparations for many things in our lives: choice schools we want to attend, career we want to pursue, houses we want to live in, our dream cars and so on but we often fail to plan properly for one of the most important stages in our lives: Marriage.

Most people know they want to get married one day, that’s part of the success in life but unfortunately for many the only detail they have of the institution is that they want; a good spouse, a very good marriage and very very good children.

It’s important to understand that marriage itself is ordained by God and only Him can sustain a good marriage, but it is also important as individuals to prepare and make plans for it. The person one chooses to spend the better part of his or her life with is very important and instrumental to having a successful relationship hence a big emphasis on choosing the right partner. We often wait for the ideal man or woman to come our way but the question is “Who is your ideal partner?” Would you be able to identify him/her if they came knocking on your door? I know many people would be quick to say a resounding yes but let’s hold on for one minute and think “How?”

It’s easy to assume that you would know when they come but unfortunately, reality is always not as easy as it seems. Let’s take for example buying your dream car. Would you say “I would know immediately I saw it that that’s the one”?. The guess is probably not. The reason being, first and foremost, before you have a “dream” car, you must have been thinking about it for a while. You must have made your judgement based on many criteria, how it fits your lifestyle, brand, colour, something you would be fully proud of, to mention a few. For those who are even more passionate, it doesn’t end there, you take a step further in investigating its potential, comparing its performance with other brands, life span, engine capacity, fuel gauge, year it was manufactured; basically the stuff it’s made of. You don’t walk into an automobile shop saying I want a good car and drive off with the first one that the dealer presents to you.

If one can plan so extensively for a car, then it is not too hard to come to the conclusion that one’s life partner should involve even more precision. If it helps, “write down the vision”.
Put in writing the qualities you want in a partner, including both the important – relationship with God, good hygiene, and the trivial- food preference, handling of the toothpaste.. Write it out in scale of preference, that is, from most important to least important. Your list may be unique to you because what is important to you may not be to another person but then remember it’s your relationship not any others’.

A lot of people are against having a “list” arguing that it makes one too choosy but then let’s analyse its importance. First of all, “What if you are particular about the person whom you choose to give yourself to as long as you both shall live?” You as an individual are priceless; God makes us to understand in His word that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and the “apple of His eyes”. You are so important and worthy, He sent His only son to die for you. Furthermore, even physically, your mother paid a high price of birth pain to bring you forth so why would you not settle for anything but the best? You are worth it!

Secondly I would rather regard it as being prepared rather than being choosy. Knowing what you want makes it easy to identify the person. If you know what you are looking for, you wouldn’t need to go through the rigours of “trial and error” before meeting them as you are armed with enough information. It also helps to prevent heart-ache and heart break as you don’t wait to be in an emotionally-involved relationship before finding out if he/she is ideal. Not every Tom, Dick or Harry would have access to your heart.

Finally it makes you more focused. You have a goal and a vision and you are “running with it”. You are able to pray consistently and specifically about the qualities you desire and you have even more clarity on what is important and what is not, what you can do without and what is essential.

It is important to note that for some people, “writing the vision” may become an obsessive task and if not done prayerfully and with wisdom may become just a fantasy. Remember that you are going to marry a human being; flesh and blood. Someone, who like you is not perfect, therefore make allowances for them to fall short sometimes. Nevertheless, ensure that they don’t fall short of those fundamental things you cannot live without for the rest of your life not just a short period. Also, be open to direction from God at all times, never go at it alone. If you are willing He is. He would bless you with only the best.

Go on…….Write the Vision!

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

The One??

Quick post..

- I am officially in a relationship!

- He makes me smile from within...

- Sometimes I am scared/have doubts about it

- Most times I am sooo sure about it

- I think about him and "us" like consistently!

- I have started to consciously pray for him (one time, before my mother, shame on me :-)

- I could talk to him for hours, hang up and then want to call him straight away

- I have some issues that even I didn't realise until recently :-)

- I could be a DRAMA queen!

- He understands and is very patient..

I look forward to this new journey/ride/experience with a lot of excitement/fear/joy/hmm../delight/anticipation/ignorance/faith/trust/love....

I'm grateful to God....