A tale of a 'meeting'

So.. I went for a date meeting a little while back.. (long story).

For some reason I was quite irritable after a long day at work (which is very unusual!) as I don't get easily annoyed..

*Note to self* A day after work is not the greatest time for first meetings

Anyway, I have concluded that it was my very first experience of PMS! I have heard of it but never been a victim.. That's the only explanation I have for my impatience mehn.. #Thatsmystory

So, dude and I agreed on a rendezvous.... I said I would meet him there (cause I didn't want it to look like what it was not lol).. He gave me the address of the place and I thought "cool, close to work, I should be there in about 10mins).

Called a taxi and gave him the address, taxi guy was clueless so we said we would ask around when we got close.. After a few heres and theres, we finally got on the street. We couldn't find the place.. We asked passers-by and they didn't have a clue either.. I was PMS-ly getting very frustrated.com + I knew the guy was increasing my fare in his mind by the minute..

We went round and round and on and on and we were still lost.. A 10min journey had stretched to 30mins and 40mins was waving not too far off!.. It turned out that the dude had given me the wrong address! *smoke out of ear* (again, on retrospect, it was the PMS talking hehe).. But mehn, I was like why couldn't he just give me the right address or be sure before sending me on a wild goose chase! And you know how people can be with directions "Yes, go all the way down the street and turn left, then right before you swerve forward".. People don't actually understand the concept of "I honestly don't know"..

We finally found the place and taxi guy doubled my fare (Mehn, after the stress, I was ready and willing to give him that much and thank him too lol)..

The meeting wasn't actually bad and it was nice to be out as I have become such a social recluse mehnn!

Then, it was time to go and I heard what I thought was a real real damper! "Err.. so, should I call you a taxi"...

Now, the reason why I will make such a big deal about this is because
1. He had a car
2. He did not have any plans afterwards
3. He had asked me to come out
4. Is chivalry dead???!!!!

 source
Lol.. I have a feeling I'm making an unnecessary deal out of this but allow me to say that ahn ahn guy.. try now..
We all know that even if you came by bus, you carry me to the front of my house and then hail the next bus back right?

Or wrong? or find your way my friend!

But me, I like the door-dropping friend mehn.. At the end of the day, it's the little things...

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow.. What's the plan?

Girls love surprises, surprise your girlfriend this Valentine by introducing her to your real Girlfriend!

During the Valentine week, even food will lead to a break-up.. "Why did you feed me? Did I ask you? So you mean I'm a baby? It's over between us!"

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) have officially announced that no one should spend more than N500 on their girlfriend for Valentine's Day. Be warned!!
   
                                 

It is Valentine's Day Week aka The week of looveeeee! lol.. I have been regaled with so many Valentine jokes, threats to boyfriends as to what will happen if they dared any acts of forgetfulness or "Baby, I don't believe in Valentine's Day, I don't need a special day to show love, my love for you is everyday".. *rolls eyes*... "Bets I like Valentine's Day, shikena"

To be honest, being a die-hard fan of love, I loveee Valentine's Day.. It gets me excited! I belong to the school of thought that love should be shown everyday BUT I still believe that it doesn't hurt to have a special day that the fact that I love you and you love me is particularly and carefully celebrated! It's like your birthday.. I don't have to buy gifts for you only on that day.. Gifts should come randomly BUT I like my birthday (ok, very poor analogy but the point still remains that no guy should please give me any excuse about not believing in Valentine's Day.. Don't worry, I can believe enough for both of us!)

Soo, what are you doing for Valentine's Day? Are you planning something extra extra special for that extra extra extra special individual?? Yes? Well done.. You get a pack of Indomie... No? *shock gasp*. It's not too late plix.. Mend your ways..

Here are some tips..

1. For the ladies, make an effort with your look for your man! Men are visual beings and appreciate it when their ladies look good! Do your hair the way he likes it.. wear the outfit he particularly likes.. put on some heels, use a nice perfume, wear your beautiful smile throughout the day! Just look good (bonus point is that looking good makes YOU feel good as well!) - Also, I know some guys like when you send them pictures of yourself in that look just for HIM! lol ( I don't know oh, *shrugs shoulders*)

2. Gifts always work well both ways.. You probably know your other half better than anyone else. Before you buy a gift, think well.. Don't just walk into a store and pick the first red heart-shaped item you see or the ceremonial perfume and chocolates or football jersey.. What describes them? Put a personal touch to it. It doesn't even have to be expensive.. My friend's fiance gave her this message in a bottle gift.. It was so beautiful AND romantic.. and not very expensive.. Be a little more creative when you buy them their gifts - it's not their birthday..

3. Action speaks louder than words... Sometimes, doing something out of the ordinary will be a hit! Do the dishes this time, watch football with them, play Fifa 2013 with them *yawn* lol.. Cook for her, tell her to sit down while you do the cooking and washing up.. Let her have the night off.. go with her to the mall, lol massage their feet..

4. Flowers!! There's just something about getting flowers that makes me feel feminine *batts eyelashes*.. Send her flowers at work.. Send him a football at work (iJoke hehe)

                                 (Fresh flowers please! lol)

5. Do things differently tomorrow and for the extra romantics, you can even start today *wink wink*

PS I am currently single so do not judge me for the suggestions above.. In other news, I shall be thinking of creative ways to amuse myself tomorrow and get into the Valentine spirit! hehehe



So, What are you up to for Val's Day???

How far is far??

'But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people' Ephesians 5:3 (NIV)

Now, I believe I have mentioned / asked about this before on this blog and in many cases, I have had ladies ask this all important question with all sincerity and a desire to get a clear answer..

In a relationship / engagement / pre-marriage, how far is considered a sin?

Please be reminded that I made a pledge to take it back Old school, I failed and then renewed my decision to take it back 'God's School' by God's grace'. I have a desire to do things right and to glorify God in my relationship as much as possible. No compromise by His grace.

Now, most times I have had this discussion with others, there's always a debate about what one should and should not do in a Christian relationship / courtship.. Usually 'fleeing from sexual immorality' a lot of people say is relative.. So it depends on what you and your partner can take or when it becomes wrong / a sin to you. So for some, it's holding hands, for others its kissing and for some, it's a little bit more as long as the line of sex is not crossed...

I have usually agreed with this - so in the past I have subscribed to kissing, then unsubscribed.. but always held firm to the fact that as long as both parties steer clear from sex.. As of course that was a no-no!

However, I saw the above verse of scripture recently on a friend's status and it made a lot of sense.. I have been thinking recently, like real deep thinking of sex and purity before marriage and it has cropped up a lot in discussions with my friends...

The bible says 'even a hint of sexual immorality' must not be found.. So infact, not just sexual immorality itself but anything that resembles, looks like, is close to, or could be....... Hmmmmm

God says it is improper for it to be found amongst God's holy people.

I cannot claim to sit here and say that it is the easiest thing to do in this world but I tell you that if you believe it and purpose in your heart, it is possible. It is not easy but by God's grace it's possible.

So, just to encourage you already in it, you can do it. You can make a decision to handle your relationship God's way. For those preparing to go into a relationship, it is possible by God's grace.. You can honour God with your relationship and put Him first before your desires, emotions and strong feelings.

So, how far is far.. Right now, for me, anything I cannot do with any other male-friend is far..

I choose to guard my heart, body and soul by God's grace.... So help me God xxxx

Who makes the first moveee?

Hiya, it's your faithful runaway fwend here again, doing what she does best, sneaking in and out! What can I say, forgive moi, life is busy..

So, just a quick-ish one right: What's your thought on a girl making the first move? ie whatever your interpretation is, so could be from initiating the first contact to THAT question "So what's happening between us" to actually plunging right in and asking him to be in a relationship?

Secondly, on a personal note, would you do it / would you mind if as a guy you were asked by a girl?

This question was asked at an event I went to over the weekend and it provoked a debate and basically there were mainly 2 camps -

Camp 1 - Never! How can?! She's presenting herself as cheap! The guy will never respect her! It's not biblical, the bible says 'whoever FINDS a wife hence it's the man that does the finding, it's not in our (African) culture etc

Camp 2 - Why not? We are in the 21st century! Guys can be very slow so they need some help, Ruth slept at the foot of Boaz (technically translating to her making the first move - for non bible scholars, sorry!)

So what you say, yay or nay?

God bless xx

HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU LIKE THAT! SHIKENA (Finish/Finito!)

Hiya!
So I was reading a FAB book the other day and it was a REAL eye-opener.. The writer was brutally honest -  something that we all need a healthy dose of.
You know in life, many people are very careful or shall I say frugal when speaking the truth so as not to cause offence - especially in this day of 'political correctness' and 'everyone has a right to their personal opinion' syndrome... Oh well, I do agree that it is good to be sensitive to people's feelings when talking to them or giving constructive criticism but mehn sometimes we need to simply call a Red spade a RED SPADE... Not a cutlass or table knife or even a brown spade but a RED SPADE! So for instance, you know the guy your friend is eyeing is an unserious fellow but because you know she really likes him you say things like 'Oh, don't worry, some guys are not very good at expressing their feelings, he really does like you'.. NO! Tell her the truth now before she gets hurt even more.. 'Sweetie, that boy is not right for you, let him go, your man will soon come!'.

In our quest to be 'nice', we end up doing the other person a disservice and actually do more harm than good, especially when the truth is critical. On the other hand, some people DON'T want to hear the truth (I see you nodding, lol). So sometimes, the truth is wasted on them because they will either pick a fight with you or simply refuse to grant you audience. Nevertheless, as the saying goes, 'do your best and leave the...'
Anyyyways, I digress, back to the book.. It's called - 'He's JUST Not That Into You' written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo (mainly the former).... Ladies, especially my fellow single ladies :-D.. This book is a must read I tell you!

This writer speaks the truth in a way that a lot of our friends are unwilling to do for fear of causing us emotional distress. He didn't mince any words in letting a girl know how to not only identify, but also accept when a guy is not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. You see, many times guys are not so subtle in letting us know that they are not feeling our steez aka romantically interested in us. This may not be because you are a bad person or not good enough, rather it could simply be a case of not being compatible. Unfortunately, many times when a girl is head over heels in love(?) she fails to recognise nor read nor accept to see these signs until it's too late and the guy ends up breaking her heart. The book is not a Christian book but it does contain some sincere truths that will be very useful for keeping unnecessary heart palpitations at bay.

Are you interested in finding out some of the things he mentioned???? Of course you're curious just as I was! hehehe. Anyways, I will mention a few but I have modified some things based on some stories and examples that a lot of ladies I know *cough cough* myself included, have had.....

1. If he's not calling you - Forget the excuse of 'I'm just not a phone person' or 'I'm too busy for words'.. If he is into you, he WILL call you. He will love hearing your voice or even you being silent on the phone! Whenever you find out that you're the one who keeps calling him, you need to step back a little and maybe get the message. Remember how it was with that guy who was totally crazy about you, who called you a LOT? Yup! it wasn't a mistake, that's how guys behave when they like a girl, they want to talk to them (bb-messaging does not count :-P)

2. He has a lot of ex-drama that he hasn't quite sorted out: Yes, you really like him and you want to be patient with him but know that a guy who really cares about you will go the extra-mile to make you feel secure. He will want to make you know that it's only you, and you have his FULL attention. You will not need to be checking his phones/computer or creating fake facebook accounts to check on him. In other words you will not need to die of a stroke before your time. Respect yourself enough to step back and let him sort himself out. If he really wants you, he will come back.

3. He's not defining the relationship: Ah-ha! This one is a VERY important one (infact, I shall be writing a full post on this soon). If there's something you have to remember, it's this.. 'ALWAYS DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP'. Do not assume or do not make him make you assume. A guy who wants to be with you, will be with you and not leave you speculating. Like I said earlier, he will want to make you feel secure. Please let's ditch 'We are having something'.. No, you are not having something, perhaps the only thing you are having is a nice recipe for heartbreak. Please, be bold enough to talk about what you want out of the relationship and know that you deserve that much.

4. He blows Hot and Cold: I'm sure a lot of ladies will understand this concept. One minute, he seems very interested, the next you're not so sure anymore. One minute, he's calling 5 times a day checking on you at random times, the next you don't hear from him in 2 days, 5 days, 2 weeks. Then he calls again and the cycle starts again. Please RUN! A guy who cares about your feelings will not mess around with it in such a manner. He will be straight with you and be honest with you. Again I say, you deserve that much!

5. He pressures you about sex: As a Christian, I have found out that when you are walking with a like-minded guy, he helps you in your decision to wait. What I have found is that a guy who really cares about you, cares about the things that you care about! When he knows how important your relationship with your Father in heaven is, his desire should not be to break that relationship but to help you in building that relationship. he will do this because he will understand how much it will hurt you to spoil that relationship and friendship with God. A guy who is for keeps will not want to satisfy his urges and hurt you in the process. He will be willing to wait. Note that it will NOT be easy at all but he will care enough to be disciplined for the good of both of you. In addition, we are hoping that he will share the same beliefs as you, therefore even when you are weak, he can be strong for you and vice versa. A man like that knows where you are headed and wants to support your destiny and not mar it. And of course, if he knows that he is making plans in such a way that he will be getting it as much as he wants in the near future, he will hold body and bear it with a grin (well not quite :-)!

Please note that this list is not by any means exhaustive so ladies AND gents, feel free to add to it! xx

DATING RULES THEY NEVER TELL YOU!!

How goes it!!
It's your ever faithful erratic blogger lol.....at least I'm faithful at being very erratic :-)

The topic I want to blog about has been playing around in my head for a long time but my busy (lazy) lifestyle :-) has prevented me from doing so....

I have been thinking lately about past relationships and the things I would change/not do if I had to do it all again!! I wouldn't really say I regret them (oh well, is it not an unwritten rule never to regret past occurences even if the very thought of them make you CRIINGE! lol).....So the thing is; I kinda came up with my own personal dating dos and don'ts - Let's call it a sort off guide lol

*DISCLAIMER*

These are entirely my thoughts...some are personal experiences while others are observations (I haven't experienced EVERYTHING ). I'm sure a lot of you might be able to identify with some of them :-)...Welcome to a bit of my world, buckle uppppp hehehe.....

1. Don't go out with someone for the wrong reasons e.g your friends convince you to, you think "what the heck he would do", to convince people that you are really not gay, his friend is your friend's boyfriend so you might as well go for it.......you would most likely wind up being single again after about 2 days....

2. If he doesn't make you giggle silly, maybe he just isn't the one.

3. It is not possible for EVERY guy to "kinda like you"... It is just not practical. Because he smiled at you at the mall doesn't necessarily mean he wants to introduce you to his folks, neither is the fact that the other guy brushed past you mean he was on his way to purchase an engagement ring for you lol...You're hot but not THAT hot!

4. Don't say yes because he said that he cannot handle being "just friends" with you. It might shock you that he would use the same mouth later to say "we can still be friends".

5. Don't kill yourself over pleasing his sisters/brothers/mum....relatives in general if it's not altar-bound. Yes they love you now but they would also love the new girlfriend. It's nothing personal, he's their blood. Not to worry though, if you were really good, they would speak fondly of you at gatherings and you might even get one or two invitations to special occaisions (only snag is that you would have the pleasure of the "new" girl's company as well).

6. Do pay him compliments. Let him feel that he is a hunk/hot/gorgeous/stud/the best. Men also need affirmation even if they pretend like it does not matter.

7. Don't compare him to anybody especially if he comes up wanting. Not even the hot guy on TV whom you would probably never meet. Trust me, don't don't don't.

8. No matter how close or comfortable you become with him, always make an effort. Endeavour to look good as much as possible. No jumping trousers with white socks expecting unconditional love, he may just run out of supply.....

9. Do let him feel like a man, he's got an ego - deal with it! Allow him to pick the bills, buy you nice things, pay for stuff...Yes you have your money and all but let him....

10. Don't fall for a cheap-skate...If he is more than happy to have you pay for stuff more than necessary please don't "manage", find your square-root and FAST!!

11. Don't pick unnecessary fights so that you keep making up...Don't believe what the Mills and Boon books say....Fighting and making up is exciting but it gets pretty old and is a sure way of ending things quickly.

12. ...Same goes for arrogant and jealous guys. After a while, it becomes a burden and huge frustration.

13. Do state clearly at the beginning what your views on sex outside marrige is from the onset, don't assume that he knows.

14. If he doesnt share your views on pre-marital sex, don't expect that he would "endure" for you. He might do at first when the adrenaline is still pumping fresh but after a while, let's just say his patience might start to wear thin.

15. If he really loves and cares about you, he would define the relationship and not have "something" with you. He would proudly show you off and be "in a relationship" on facebook.

16. Don't be too shattered if he doesn't live up to full expectation all the time. He is human afterall.

17. Do play hard to get when it's necessary but not TOO hard. Forget the 21st century ideology, the thrill is in the chase.

18. If he is cheating on his girlfriend with you, sweetheart he would do the same with you if you end up together...this time it might be your sister or cousin he can't help falling in love with!

19. Do run away from a guy who tells you that him and his girlfriend are "having problems" but he really "doesn't have the heart to break up with her" and "it's you he really wants" yet there's always a recently tagged picture of him and his girlfriend all lovey-dovey. Don't accept any excuses/reasons/explanations no matter how good they are...

20. Do show him frequent displays of affection. Let him know that he is special from the others and you really do care if he had a proper breakfast, lunch, dinner and midnight snack. When you go out together, pay him extra attention so that it is loud and clear that that's "YOUR MAN".

Oh well, that's what I have for today.....I have actually had fun writing but mehn I am getting kinda tired of visiting past memories lol
Whenever I remember anything I would surely put up a 2nd part....... All the best in your relationships!!
Above all, may God give us the wisdom to cater to the individual and peculiar needs of our better-halfs. May we revel in fulfilling and beautiful relationships to the glory of His name.....

Love youuuu loads xxxxxxxx

Hooker

Heyy
How you doing? Hope the cold isn't getting to you (for non-UK dwellers, it's getting quite cold in Britain) I would surely miss summer a lot! Now would be a good time to have a significant other to cuddle up to :-)

I'm not really feeling inspired at the moment but feel it's necessary to drop in. Let's see, anyone interested in politics? What do you think of the furore that is the impending US elections? The whole world is agog with news of every single development. If Obama sneezes, Malawi would find out how long it occurred for, if McCain smiles, Bangladesh would want to know why! Oh well it's prolly cause the US economy affects each and everyone of the other countries in the world. The position of the American president is known to be the most important and whoever holds it is thought to be the most important person in the world! All the best to both candidates and for the sake of the rest of us, may the best man win!

Talking about America, something funny happened to me so maybe I'll just share (the danger of sharing personal experiences is the risk of getting found out hence my reluctance to talk about personal issues :-). Anyways, back to the story at hand, someone I know (reasonably older than me) called me out of the blues one day and after the opening pleasantries asked "would you like to marry my brother?" I was a bit taken back by the unusual "proposal", I would have just laughed it off but the seriousness of the conversation made me hold myself. Let me say here that I am not well disposed to "hook-ups" i.e a mutual friend hooking me up with someone they know.

Reason being that if things don't work out, it becomes a bit difficult to maintain a cordial relationship with the "hooker" lol. Oh well the said brother leaves in America and was looking for a wife.... By the way, I don't think I mentioned to my friend that I was looking for a husband at any point in time :-) Suffice to say it didn't really work out, we were introduced but erhmmm, let's just say he didn't quite "rock my boat" hehehe (I hope the feeling wasn't mutual, lol)

What can I say I didn't really like it but it's the thought that matters and I am quite flattered that my friend thought me a worthy wifey for the precious brother..

Have to run now, there's a nice Nigerian movie waiting to be watched!
God bless xxxx

I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES!!

Mrs A, Mrs B or Mrs F, which one has the nicest ring to it?

No, I'm not getting married but I spoke to someone today and we really got on well so I was just trying out his surname to see if it would fit with mine, lol. Crazy huh? hahaha.. I know, but funny thing is that's what happens most times!!

That's why I love Natasha Bedingfield's song "I wanna have your babies!" lol (I'm listening to it right now). I remember one of my male friends making a comment about the song and saying how ridiculous it was, and how it wasn't true.... I just laughed and thought to myself "if only he knew" lol! The reason why I love that song soo much is that whilst its a bit exaggerated the sentiments are quite on point:-)

I don't know if it's just me and Natasha Bedingfield that act in that way but I remember how I get when I meet someone new and a short while after, I start thinking if he's "THE ONE". I do a very quick but thorough check on his background, physical and spiritual attributes, character etc. I could get all this informatIon from one or two conversations with him (what can I say, your girl gat skills, lol). ... There was this particular guy whom I really liked and who "scored" high points in my personal potential boyfriend (husband :-) test but I guess all my prodding finally got to him and he couldn't take any more of it, he actually jokingly remarked once that he felt like he was taking an examination and once asked "so, did I pass?" Poor boy, if only he knew what was going through my crazy mind! hehehe.... Worst still, little sad me, GET A LIFE!!

One mistake I used to make a lot (I'm a changed person now of course! :-) was that I focused soo much on making sure that every guy I met measured up to a certain standard that I forgot to just relax and enjoy the moment and experience the process of getting to know them like a normal person.. I would check for this and that and in cases where I had found all that out, I would move on to even more stupidly trivial matters and ask "random" leading questions such as "what would you do if your wife (*cough cough*, me) bla bla bla" and await his response to see if he were the one or not...lol. I laugh at it now but it wasn't funny then, I was simply stark raving out of any form of common sense.

Someone once told me that men can "smell" when women want to take things to a further level FAST and there's one way in which guys usually react, they run FAST! Not in your direction, sorry to disappoint you honey but they run AWAY... So we only end up getting the wrong response!

Thank God I have tried and been able to relax a lot now and I've decided to take things easy, key objective being "make friends first and other things would follow". Enjoy the "honeymoon" period of dating and don't ruin it all by being "anxious for nothing". Relax, if he's yours he's yours, if not then his loss!! *wink wink*


God bless xx

P.S Can someone please inform/instruct/educate me on how to upload videos on this page, merci/muchos gracias!! xxx

Until then you can copy and paste (hehe) this link to watch the famous Natasha Bedingfield's song "I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3YLpl2cxuc

PDA day

It's a loovely saturday afternoon today and perfect for a nice walk/picnic at the beach/ ice-cream date/ window shopping with a better half but erhmm I just remembered I'm single :-) Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining nor am I very much bothered but it would be nice to share such a day with "my man". Anyways no use crying over milk not yet bought :-)

For the single girl, it can be quite stressful going into town (special reference to the UK where I am) where it's otherwise known as PDA day!! (PDA as in Public Display of Affection!) Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to insult your intelligence by fully expanding the acronym but I remember the first time I heard it, I actually thought it was the name of a car navigator like GPRS lol (razzite like me) ... Anyways, back to what I was discussing, I know you guys understand what I mean when I say it is absolutely annoying and sometimes frustrating to see a man and a lady walking in front of you and then stop in the middle of road/street to french kiss with some bum grabbing thrown in for good measure......arggghhhh!! I get so irritated, Im like "Can't you just wait??". Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being affectionate with your partner/husband/wife but.....mildly please!! There's such a thing as public decorum!! Whatever happened to good old hand holding or arms around each other or whispering sweet nothings to each other or even a brush of the hands on a specific part of (decent) body part?? Trust me, this things can be done in such an intimate manner that makes the action even more romantic than full on body grabbing or caressing!

Quite frankly I personally think it's disrespectful! Show that you appreciate my body so much that you would rather protect "it" from the full glare of men who would potentially start getting ideas about it in their heads! Be possesive about my body by waiting till we get behind the privacy of our home thereby allowing the other guys see but can't touch nor have what they can only see :-) Honey if you care about me, respect my body!! That's one of the rules of the game!!

Anyways, have a lovely weekend!! For the coupled up, enjoy the day out with "your man" or "your gurl", make sure you make the best of it, be romantic for a change, it's not a sin :-) and for my fellow "waiters" (as in waiting for "the one") erhmmm, be like me get a good book/movie and snuggle up in bed with ice-cream and every kind of naughty food that you really shouldn't have all the time. Better still, put on that gorge summer outfit with a nice pair of flip-flops or sandals, big celebrity shades and even bigger handbag and hit the streets/ shopping center/beach/restaurant looking even hotter than the day......... we are single and free aren't we! "wink"

God bless xx