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Showing posts with label Guest Post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guest Post. Show all posts

Monday, 13 April 2015

The Purpose Centre presents Kickstarters of Vision 2.0


The 2nd edition of the live edition of KICSTARTERS of VISION is HERE and would be holding on Saturday, the 18th of April 2015, and this edition is strictly for ladies (pregnant with a dream).

Registration is free! You can register online www.thepurposecentre.wordpress.com/registration or call 07032472538 or BBM: 24D3BB56 to register.

Note: only 70 seats available!

"The KICKSTARTERS of Vision weekly twitter teaching series is an inspired idea to share the biblical principles that have been used since the inception of the vision we received from God to 'raise a PURPOSE-driven generation of nation builders'" - Noah Toluleke (Convener, Kickstarters of Vision)

If you miss attending the 2nd edition of the live edition strictly for ladies, please join them every Monday by 6pm on twitter @kingnoahspeaks or #kickstarters!

Please ensure you finish the race God put you on this earth to run…but you cannot finish until you kick-start it.

Exceed!

Friday, 27 February 2015

Dear Daddy - Frances Okoro

Dear Daddy,

Anytime I think of you, I think of love.

I call you my Beautiful Father but truly, you are more than that.

How can I explain your turning my life around?

How can I explain your total overhaul of the person I used to be?

The one who I am now cannot even reconcile with the one I was in time past - I say time past but it’s really only just a few years gone by, a few years with so many stages that wow me over every time I think of it.

How can one love me so much?

How can you love me this much?

What I think of myself when I think of you is that I am so unworthy, I was so filthy, I was so unworthy… yet you chose me.

Yet you separated me from the crowd.

You could have picked stones to worship you in my place, but no, you chose me.

You chose me to show forth your glory.

You chose me to spread forth your name to the world.

Oh Daddy, you chose to let your fire burn within me and burn it will.

I promise you, by your grace I will burn for you like you want me to.

I will worship you like you want me to.

You showed me love even when I did not deserve it… I still don’t deserve it but you love me anyway.

And so Daddy, the least I can do is love you right back.

With every breath in me…

With every fiber of my soul…

With every iota of my being…

I will love you.

I will love you Daddy.

I will love you fiercely.

The least I can do is love you right back and I do.

Yes I do.

Your daughter,

Frances.

Update - I wrote this last year when I was at Law School and today, I am happy to say that I and Daddy are still going strong!

Gidigba!

I can only pray that just like love grows between couples, our love will continually grow strong and weather all storms - whatever they maybe.

The storms can only come from me though which is another reason why I love my Daddy... He is CONSTANT, with a love for me that never fails!

Your girl will love you forever Daddy... forever, till eternity :-)

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You can read more uplifting, inspiring and brilliant posts on Frances Okoro's blog at www.imperfectlyperfectlives.com

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Our Fantasies and His Faithfulness - On Dreams, Realties and the Challenges-in-between (Sebastian Luling)

Guess what?! Today, we have the pleasure of one of our favourite guest series writers of the Chronicles fame, with another interesting, witty and deep article.. Ladies and gentlemen, it's no other person but Sebastian Luling!!! *rings bell*

Sebs aka Sabba Sabba, it's always great to have you on 1 + The One!

I bet that you will enjoy this one.. Happy reading!

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Hello dear readers!

It’s me again, Sebs! Happy new month! Kedu? Bawo ni? < Ayo taught me this one :-). For those who 'no sabi me', my name is Sebastian, a German who wrote some “Chronicles” about my experiences in Nigeria. Since I finished the series, a lot of nice things have happened!

First, Ayo started an amazing new “Convo” discussion series shortly after the “burial” of mine: Ehen, when I think about it: Sometimes old things need to go so that new ones can start, don’t you think?
Germany won the World Cup, which was an amazing experience that actually got even the reserved Germans very excited. There was a lot of dancing, flag-waving and a sense of togetherness. But I suppose it didn’t quite match a Nigerian owambe (Ayo again!). :-)

Germany - Football World Champions!
I got to meet super-friendly Nigerian novelist Lola Shoneyin during a book reading. Chai, that woman has power!

Just recently, my sister got married! Since this blog mainly focuses on relationships, I thought I could share some stories and lessons from that event. 

Before and After :-)
See these two pictures? This is my small sister Sanni acting as a bride in her admired dress that belonged to one of her favorite aunties (aunty in the Nigerian sense :-)). She always loved to dream about her own marriage and being the expressive-speak-her-mouth kind of child she was, she also revealed whom she wanted to marry: First, she wanted to marry me her brother lol, then after some more understanding it was Robert, then Jürgen and finally she ended up with Carsten, whom she actually befriended and after 14 years of an up-and-down relationship, married at the age of 29 (don’t worry, age is not a huge secret in Germany lol). 
Then and Now!
Now these pictures were part of a wedding present from my oldest sister (Sarah) to Sanni (the bride, and yes, our names all start with S lol) to show her how long her little sister has been waiting for this wedding day. She unveiled it during a moving speech about their sisterly childhood and teenage memories. While she presented the old pictures and told their stories, I was both moved and also somehow carried away in my thoughts: I was suddenly so aware of how much has happened in my dear sister’s life between these old childhood dreams of being a princess and her actual wedding over 17 years after.
As a brother, I’ve witnessed first hand what happened in these 17 years: Silly laughter, stupid arguments, reconciliations, insecurities, difficult decisions, conversations about decisions, gisting around the dinner table and loud music in the car. Now, at her wedding, not only did her wedding dress turn out to be different, her whole life took a different course from what she might have expected. I felt so happy that she finally got married, realizing how much she went through. It’s almost like in the movies when you appreciate the happy ending all the more due to all the wahala they went through before.





I believe these observations of childhood dreams and the struggle in realizing them translate to many other areas: When people are young or when they are about to start something, they can be as dreamy and confident as my sister back then. It is the confidence of …
… a football team at the beginning of a World Cup or any other tournament,
… little primary school children thinking they can do anything in the future,
… someone launching a new project, a series, an idea,
… a madly-in-love girl who feels she could hug the world.
Usually, these people start with the excitement of the new. Yet, when the first challenges arise; the difficulties when…
… you lose your first game,
… you do badly in school,
… your project is not going well,
… you discover some major flaws in your loved one.
… then we can easily lose sight of our dreams and of God’s plan. It all seems so wearisome that we can get into a mere passive survival mode, a mode where we somehow keep going, yet stop to thrive, to smile, to laugh, to hope, to reach out. 

I feel that especially in Nigeria, a country with so many brilliant and talented people having so many individual dreams, but people who sometimes lack the opportunities, resources or connections to realize them, it can be difficult not to lose hope. I sense this also when I talk with 'diaspora Nigerians' here in Germany, when they start talking about their home country, they express this tension between what is … and what could be, this sense of nostalgia mixed with frustration. 

With some of my Nigerian friends in Germany
So what can we do? Well, I don’t have all the answers, but one thing I know for sure: God has His plans for us, and they surely include disappointments. Joseph had nice dreams, but he also had a not-so-nice cell in which he had to live before his dreams came true. Jesus had a mission, yet he knew opposition, betrayal and misunderstanding would be his portion before achieving that mission. Still, both of them did not lose their confidence and hope. That is the tricky part: To go through wahala, yet not to say “I don tire”. To endure, not just with resoluteness, but with hope and joy. To fall down, and get back up again. To be vexed, and still forgive. To look at some old pictures and start to dream again, but to remain open for a “change-of-plan”. To let God give you the energy, patience and strength to do all of that.

When I read through some of the comments on this very blog, I can sense the hopeful outlooks of many godly sisters, women who, inspired by other role-models, hope for the best and who believe that God will provide them a good husband and a blessed marriage. It is refreshing to see this enthusiasm and this energy. However, I don’t know about the ones who don’t comment and the doubts and disappointments every one of us might have had, especially in this area. But I pray and hope that we don’t lose hope, joy, and this sense of excitement. That, like my sister, one day you can look back at your troubled life and smile about the past dreams, rejoice in reality and look forward to what’s next.

Me, when life was a lot simpler :-)
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And I say a big AMEN to that... Thank you for this brilliant encouragement and reminder to never stop dreaming and to never give up on our dreams.. They may change slightly (or totally!) but as long as God's in control, it would always be better.

Congratulations to your sister and her husband.. May the reality of their marriage surpass their dreams or imaginations!

"Now unto Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us" - Eph 3:20

Keep hope alive!

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

30Days of Praise - Day 17 ft Isioma Ikediashi

Praise God for another beautiful day!

Today, Isioma leads today's praise.. I'm sure I've mentioned previously that I lovee listening to this lady worship.. Like I said to her, hearing her sing praises to God makes me smile - I wonder how God must feel :-)

Her praise is focused on thanking God for her salvation and she sings a beautiful song by Israel Houghton 'Moving Forward'... Thank You Jesus for making all things new!


PS Don't forget, you can send in your praise expressions - Song, dance, poem, letter, smile, picture.. Anything! oneplustheone@gmail.com #30DaysofPraise

Saturday, 13 September 2014

30Days of Praise - Day 13: A Melody of Praise to my King ft Lucie Felix

There are some songs of praise that evoke a particular memory of God.. For instance, when I sing "Darling Jesus, darling Jesus, Oh my darling Jesus You're a wonderful God...." It takes me back to when I was very young and I sang this song, not knowing this darling Jesus nor appreciating the significance of this song that I now love so much! I sing it with a smile today in praise to God who loved me and kept me even when I was ignorant of His existence or love......

Today's praise is led by another beautiful daughter of God and the song that she starts with is nostalgic for me as I remember singing it in praise to God in my early days as a Christian.... As she raises a praise to Her King today with a variety of songs (See if you can recognise them?), I encourage you to also think of your own special song of praise that means something special between you and Your Lord...

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You are the Lord, the never changing God

You are the Lord, the ever faithful God

You are the Lord, the mighty One, You are the Lord of hosts

I praise You oh Lord

In my life I see what you are doing. One more time, I lift my hands in praise of Your name

Heavenly Father, I appreciate You; Son of God what a wonder You are; Holy Spirit what a comfort You are.

Almighty God, I praise You for saving me. I adore You for rescuing me from hell. Thank you for taking me out of the miry clay into Your marvellous light. I have joy in my heart today because of You

Thank you Lord for all You've given to me, for all the blessings I cannot see. Thank you Lord for all you've done in my life, for giving me excellent health, for provision, for divine protection, for divine favour, for who you created me to be, for helping me to fulfil your purpose for my life

With a grateful heart, with a song of praise, with an out-stretched arm, I will praise Your name, thank You Lord!!

From my heart Lord, I praise You with these songs:

Revelation Song - Kim Walker (Jesus Culture)

Great are You Lord - Sinach


Wednesday, 10 September 2014

30Days of Praise - Day 10 feat Chinenye Okenwa's Praise!

Hello everyone!

I hope you've still got your praise-attitude on! :-) Praise is such a joyous thing.. The more we praise God, the more joy bubbles in and out of us! It's inexplicable .... The presence of God is so awesome! And praise is a great way to enter right in... Psalm 100:4.

The great thing is that we can praise God in diverse ways.. Look at the trees! The bible says they clap their hands in praise to God.. The birds of the air sing unto the One whose eye is on them! Even heaven declares the glory of the King! How much more you and I... Whatever your expression may be, just give praise to the One that deserves it so.

Today, lovely Chinenye Okenwa leads the praise with a beautiful expression in prose to her Lord::

The angels and the hosts bow down in worship, a whole population of heavenly beings experienced in praise. The elders are impressed by the praise of the Cherubim. The Seraphim love what the arch-angels have to offer today.

No mistakes in the notes or words they offer, first hand they bear witness of what their immortal eyes have beheld for millennia. They have stood in The Awesome Presence for thousands of years and beheld the perfect wondrous Image in all His glory and excellence. They have crafted praise and worship deserving of the Most Excellent. They ever bow, in all their radiance.

Never too busy; never faltering; never complaining. Casting down their crowns and worshipping Him who is worthy. Then a thin reedy voice, faltering in pitch, word and meaning sounds faintly in the heavenly courts… And at once, the attention of the Centre of it all is diverted. The Great One’s Radiance beams even more and the wonder of heaven is pronounced.

The voice rises and falls, breaks, cries, laughs and all through it, the Love of the Highest glows on His face. His adoration, unhidden to all creation. He surely loves this one. For what else could make Him thrilled in this paltry offering, when he has harmonious perfection praise at His eternal back and call? This one that has stumbled and even fallen severally, yet always returns.

Now I’m here, it seems I’m stripped of words. Now I’m here, I awed by raw Majesty,

Now I’m here, in the presence of my King. Now I’m here, before Your Throne.

Now I’m here, worship fills my being. Now I’m here, the words are nowhere here.

Now I’m here, in silence I bow down, overawed by Majesty Divine.

Now I’m here, You speak my language.

The language of my heart. You interpret perfectly, You know and you hear.

The voice of my silence. The sweetness of my Praise to you, not just in words. But in who I am!!!

Who I am, is who You have made. You have made me. You created me. In Your image You created a likeness of You.

First You made me, breathed life in dust…

Then You made me, by Jesus death and life

Then You remade me, a first fruit of Your creation.

And You’ll remake immortality swallowing up my life.

What I have to offer can never compare, what do I know of Immortality or Awesomeness or Holiness or Greatness to offer commensurate praise?

But You delight in what I bring and while I have breathe even when my voice has faded, every exhalation till the last will adore you O Great Father.

Chinenye Okenwa












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Remember, you can join in! Send in your own expression of praise to God! It could be a dance, a song, a letter, a poem, prose or a smile! #30DaysofPraise

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

30Days of Praise - Day 9 My Tribute feat Highly Favoured

Hello everyone!

Thank God for another beautiful day! It's the 9th day in the 9th month of the year! It's beautiful to count days, recount experiences and count our blessings. 

I praise God for safety, for joy that is indescribable and for His promise which is ever reassuring.. What are you grateful for?

Highly Favoured who has a truly fabulous and inspirational blog at  http://triumphantorder.blogspot.com/ and whom I fondly refer to as HF leads today's Praise!

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God has been Faithful to me. Through all the battles, storms, hurricanes, tsunamis (!) that has crossed my path in life, God has remained a constant Provider, Deliverer, Comforter, Way-maker, Door opener, Defender....I could go on an on with descriptive words and this post would never end. God has been all that and MUCH more to this undeserving sinner. Because of God's overwhelming care towards me, words are not enough to fully express my thanks.

The lyrics to the song below expresses my feelings:


My Tribute (To God be the Glory) - Andrae Crouch

How can I say thanks for the things
You have done for me?
Things so undeserved yet you gave
To prove your love for me
The voices of a million angels
Could not express my gratitude
All that I am, and ever hope to be
I owe it all to thee

To God be the glory, to God be the glory
To God be the glory for the things He has done
With His blood He has saved me
With His power He has raised me
To God be the glory for the things He has done

Just let me live my life and
Let it be pleasing lord to thee
And if I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary
With his blood He has saved me
With his power he has raised me
To God be the glory for the things He has done


My Tribute performed by Nicole C Mullen



Monday, 8 September 2014

30Days of Praise - Day 7: How Great Thou Art! (Moboloaji Amusu)

I love hymns! There's just something about singing hymns to God that stirs me deep inside. I believe hymns are inspired by the Holy Spirit and the words are deep, very deep, like the Psalms of David.

I pray that in my lifetime, I would be able to pen a (or many) hymns of praise to the glory of my King!

One of my favourite hymns is 'How Great Thou Art'. That hymn expresses the awesome wonder of our Great God through the wonders of His great creation.  The first verse goes thus.....

Oh Lord My God
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
The works thy hands hath made
I see the stars
I hear the roaring thunder
Your Power througout
The Universe displayed

Hmmm.. When you and I take a moment out of the hustle and bustle of life to deeply consider the world, the galaxy and the universe, or to open our eyes and really SEE our surroundings, we don't need any more convincing that God's not dead, He's alive and He is such a MIGHTY GOD!

... Lord, I take a moment to consider the clouds, the majestic nature of it. We settle for blue but no known colour could truly describe it! How great thou art!

We consider the sun, the moon and the stars, and we just stand amazed at how 'things' hang suspended in the sky with no visible hold, and give light that nothing else could compare. How great thou art!

We consider the lightning and thunder.. We see streaks of light and hear loud, rumbling noise.. It astounds us Lord.. Indeed how great thou art!

We consider the great mountains and hills, the elements that were there before us and will remain long after us.. The magnificence of them and we can't but say - How great thou art!

We could go on and on Great God.. And your daughter Mobolaji Amusu captures it beautifully:

..... So I was sitting in the car at the mechanic's workshop and I look at the sky and guess what I see? You'll see it in the picture below. My God is wonderful. Everything He created is beautiful. Beautiful beyond comprehension. The sun, the moon, the stars, the sky, the earth, you, me....everything is beautiful!


Isn't God just absolutely great? Look at that!


Indeed Lord, How great thou art!

When you have a glimpse of the glory of the King through the work of nature, you can't help but stand in awe and say Lord, How Great thou Art!

Saturday, 6 September 2014

30Days of Praise - Day 6 (Moronfolu Falana)

Isn't God simply amazing?! He is the Creator of all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful!

It is a real privilege to be able to sing His praise, our ever faithful and loving God.

Today, beautiful Miss Moronfolu Falana expresses her praise to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords!!



My Own Praise to The King


God has been so faithful to me and He has seen me through many trials and pitfalls in life. 
In my down times, as hard as it could be, I try to dwell on my past victories. I think about the battles He has fought and won for me and I allow myself rely on His love, trusting in the shadow of His wings. 

I say to myself, over and over again like someone learning a recitation, If He could bring me this far, He won't let me down. Whenever I think of His love, I sing it in Newsboys' "Your Love never fails". His love amazes me and often times, I just imagine myself wrapped up in His love. The lyrics of this song is like food to my soul. It gives me hope, courage, the strength to forge ahead and it reminds me that His love has not and will never fail me!

Newsboys - Your Love Never Fails

Friday, 9 May 2014

Dear Daddy - Silas Omoha

In the spirit of the theme for the month of May which is Love YOU - Celebrating and falling in love with the unique individual that God has made each and every one of us, we will be doing 'Dear Daddy' differently.
Each Friday this month, we will have different guests writing a Dear Daddy post appreciating God for the gifts and blessings He's graciously invested in them.. It's a great opportunity to celebrate YOU, thanking God for being ever so gracioius :-)

I love that this comes from a guy.. Men are sometimes not the most expressive of people, however I love the beauty of the expression of this wonderful young man in his heart-to-heart interaction with His Abba Father.. Our Daddy has truly made such great people!

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Dear Daddy,

I can’t believe I just called you that! As you already know, I have become accustomed to calling you, ‘Father of mercy!’; my special penchant in my ever consistent attempt to get your attention and to ask for another favour.

Well today, I write to remind you once more that I’m thankful for your unbelievable consistency and loyalty. Who would be ever so foolish to trade a God like you for another?

When I consider the vast amount of divine intelligence at your disposal; Your ability to know the worst about people like me, and yet love them, it simply blows my mind!

When I consider the might of your matchless superiority and majestic grandeur; Your obvious unimaginable schedule, and how you still make time to pay attention to people like me, evidenced by the many testimonies I can boast of. It simply blows my mind!

When I pay attention to the long distance I have covered through you in life’s short race; Your benevolence, your patience, your matchless love… Above all, how you could have picked someone like me literally from what we often describe as the miry clay, and then repackage me… It simply blows my mind!

While I remain dazzled by your loving wonder, permit me to make an affirmation. I affirm in the words of Jonathan McReynolds that, as surely as I know my name, I also know one thing that will never change; that is

I LOVE YOU!

I know we get to fellowship quite often, even now, but I think it is romantic to write you a letter right in front of you. (Considering our many sided relationship; Daddy, Friend, Lover of my soul, Confidant, Hope and Everything I need, all I want and all I will ever need). Don’t you think so?

Your boy, 
Silas

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Want to send a letter to our Daddy? We welcome you to send in yours to oneplustheone@gmail.com (not more than 300 words)... Posts will be published on Fridays! Celebrate Jesus, celebrate His glory in YOU!

Dear Daddy - Isioma Ikediashi

In the spirit of the theme for the month of May which is Love YOU - Celebrating and falling in love with the unique individual that God has made each and every one of us, we will be doing 'Dear Daddy' differently.
Each Friday this month, we will have different guests writing a Dear Daddy post appreciating God for the gifts and blessings He's graciously invested in them.. It's a great opportunity to celebrate YOU, thanking God for being ever so gracioius :-)

It's with immense pleasure that I introduce our first guest, an absolutely lovely and talented blessing of a human being. A lady who has been a hugeee blessing, and from whom I have learnt so much from too! A deep woman indeed who loves God so much she can't hide it :-) - Miss Isioma Ikediashi...

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Dear Daddy,

Every time I look at, think about or speak to my earthly father, it just makes me appreciate you and love you to the highest heavens and back. I can paint your picture all day - BIG, STRONG, RELIABLE, SOFT, CUDDLY, SWEET, JEALOUS, FINE, TALL, HUGE….

I look at this tiny little me in the mirror and I cannot imagine how you still notice me, how you’re mindful of me, how you hear me, what you do for me, why you even do the things you do! Nobody will ever be able to understand your love for me, not even me because you said it- "You have loved me with an everlasting love" – Jerimiah 31:3. That scripture still blows my mind!

I want to THANK YOU and talk a little about the one most precious gift you’ve given me that I want to scream to the rooftops about- MY VOICE!

One little girl, many many years ago will just stand in front of 100s of people and sing a song (she used to cry to her aunties to teach her in the afternoon) at an everyday evening crusade and many hands will applaud in encouragement. Who knew that her Father had a plan?

When I think of those times many years ago, I just smile because only YOU know the end of a matter and the thoughts you think towards us are for good, then to bring us to an expected end- Your expected end (Jeremiah 29:11).

Thank you for giving me a voice! The world can try to steal everything from me but that voice has come to stay and it will do your bidding, bring your glory down, comfort hearts, make your presence known, heal many lives and most of all, give you glory!

*singing* "I wanna scream a little louder than before ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh"

From your sweet little girl,
 xxxxx
To worship YOU I live!

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Want to send a letter to our Daddy? We welcome you to send in yours to oneplustheone@gmail.com (not more than 300 words)... Posts will be published on Fridays! Celebrate Jesus, celebrate His glory in YOU! 




Monday, 9 December 2013

What to look out for in your future wife

So, today is another one for the fellas!

As I stated in previous posts HERE and HERE, I am committed to passing on useful relationship messages to our wonderful men where I have the opportunity.

I read this very nice post on a blog I recently discovered and will be sure visiting again www.goodguyswag.com (interesting name ey? + a blog particularly for guys! Yippeee! It is a treasure indeed and I recommend to every guy!). The post is titled 'The Wife List: 10 Qualities' suggesting qualities to look out for in a future wife and you can read original post HERE (There are actually a lot more great posts on there!)

Have you ever wondered, "How would I know?" "I don't want to make a mistake!".. Well here goes, hope you find it useful.

Ladies, as always there's also something in it for us to learn as I found myself reading the list and checking to see if I would have made the cut lol.. It's a good list.

Let me know what you think!

Well, I can sum up most of my friends’ lists right here: 1.Blonde, 2. Skinny, 3. Hot. A few others might include: she likes football, she drinks beer with my buds, and she’s at least a full C. No matter what I write below, that list isn’t going away for some of you guys.  We’re all stubborn, but we can also be authentic. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way.
Earlier this week, I wrote the article An Uncrafty Guy’s Guide to Making a Vision Board about keeping you visually focused on your dreams.  Should we be specific about the woman we want to marry?  Absolutely. However, make a list with long-term vision. Most of the characteristics we think we want in a wife aren’t ones that make for a good, lifelong relationship. They are characteristics of a woman we want for one night.
Just like character is the most important quality of a good guy, the woman you’re going to marry should have good character as well.  When you find her, she is more valuable than anything. Here are 10 qualities of good future wife material:
1.  She shares your beliefs
When it comes to finding your wife, I’ve heard “equally yoked.” It has nothing to do with weightlifting for those of you guys who like muscle women. Your potential wife should have the same beliefs you have. Now, you may think you can do some missionary dating, and turn that situation around so she will believe everything you do.  You’re probably going to be very disappointed with some bad side effects.  If you don’t have the same core beliefs….good luck.
2.  She makes you a better man
If everyday is hell with her, that should be a red flag. Your potential wife should elevate you to Yourself 2.0. You can get a good idea from your friends and family. Do they say you act differently in a bad way when you are around her? Not a good sign.  She should bring out the best in you, not bring out heartache and frayed nerves.
3.  She’s trustworthy
In fact, she should inspire trustworthiness within you. If you don’t trust her, you’re probably making her as bitter as you’re making yourself. Not worth it. If you can’t trust her, maybe you’re not ready to date her or maybe you need to work on confidence issues within yourself. If there’s good reason not to trust her, don’t even go there. Just like any cheater, it’s bound to happen again.
4.  She has ambition
She should have strength in character and carry herself with confidence. As a man, you should be the leader in the relationship, but for any dictators who feel justified here; we’re talking servant leadership. You probably don’t want the consummate follower either. She should have plans too. In fact, she should be a hard worker just like you. That doesn’t mean having a job is a requirement. One of my friends is a stay-at-home wife with three kids, and she works harder than any of my friends with careers.
5.  She’s selfless
She should care about others. Look at the way she treats her family and her friends. If she’s not close with her family, and doesn’t have any good friends, that’s not a good sign. If you start dating her, much less marry her, you will discover why soon enough. Some questions to ask yourself: Does she care about causes? Does she go out and volunteer? Does she give change to the needy or buy them a meal? These are important characteristics to consider.
6.  She’s attractive
In your eyes, she should be a “10.” When my wife walks in the room, I’m awestruck by her every time. She’s beautiful from the inside out. However, I’ve dated “hot” girls who ended up being downright ugly by the time we broke up. Personality plays into attractiveness big-time. Just remember, “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting.” She should be beautiful down to her soul because that kind of beauty lasts forever.
7.  She’s smart
You’re going to be spending a lot of time with her, so she should be able to hold a good conversation. She should be wise, smart, and give you good advice. Her women’s intuition should be strong. I look to my wife all the time for advice. She’s collected all sorts of wisdom from her mom. She remembers everything. Yes, everything….maybe too much.
8.  She loves you unconditionally
If she’s trying to change you to be another person, it’s time to move on. Your future wife should love you just as you are, regardless of anything you’ve done in your past. There will be minor adjustments along the way, but if she nags you about your core characteristics, it won’t get any better in marriage.
9.  She’s responsible
Does she remember appointments and meetings? Does she flake all of the time? She should already do a good job of managing her own life. If she’s got loads of debt and doesn’t work, you’re going to be taking all of that on. Ultimately, she will have some part in your financial well-being, and guess what? Finances remain one of the leading causes of divorce.
10.  She gets along with your family and friends
If she doesn’t even try to connect with your family and/or friends, let her go. She shouldn’t be critical of the people who you love and have been loyal to you throughout your life. There might be cases where your mom doesn’t like your future wife, and that may require your intervention; but in general, she should be a good fit with the people in your life. Marriage is a joining of two lives that existed prior to meeting the other person.
When it comes down to it, you know what you can handle. Love can overwrite any of the qualities above, but having these qualities will certainly make your lives easier once you are married. No one’s perfect. Even with this list, both of you are still going to bring some kind of baggage into the relationship. Make sure premarital counseling is a huge priority once you find her. My wife and I did a relationship bootcamp in addition to premarital counseling. One session just doesn’t cut it. Throw everything but the kitchen sink at the most important decision you will ever make.

PS Seen a girl you like but don't know how to win her heart? Please check out this post as well from the blog '10 ways to win a girl's heart' - Thank me later :-)

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

I present to you.. a worthy read for the fellas!

Remember this post about having more role model-ic men and more role model-ic articles for men HERE?

You see as my post explained, we have so many stuff out ther for being the perfect woman, particularly being the perfect wife/other half.. However, in my opinion, I thought we didn't have enough for men or it wasn't as visible!

One of the people who commented said something about embarking on the project myself! And I thought yup, you can complain and complain but if it doesn't solve much! Action speaks louder and is more effective too!

Well, I know a few 2-in-1 men.. They are role-model-ic and they write role model-ic stuff!

So here goes.. Featuring today,  a very role model-ic man whose blog I love reading both for men and women! With permission, I am re-posting an article on his blog catchily and aptly titled 'HUSBANDS: 10 things to do to make your wife go GOOGOOGAGA over you (Without Spending Money) Part 1) by Tobi Atte - Don't you just want to start forwarding the article to your male friends even before reading the content of the post??! :-D

For the original article please go HERE

Enjoy fellas! And we are eagerly awaiting the effect *wink*

Happy Woman - iStock_000017408587XSmallThey say wives can be expensive. They say you have to spend money to make and keep her happy. While I don’t think it should be that way, I know there is a truckload of truth to it.On the flipside however, I know that wives and women in general crave more than just “things”. In fact, many women will tell you that there are many things that you can do that money can’t buy, that will keep you on their mind for days. No Dollars, Pounds, Naira or currency needed.She will go crazy over you.You will solidify your spot as THE MAN in her life. In fact the effect of these things can last for days. That means that if you do one of these ten things once a week, you could make this list last for weeks and you could be at the top of the food chain in her mind for weeks! Weeks! Any of these things will act like finger prints in her heart and you my friend, will reap the benefits in more ways than this article can describe.
In the usual IJUSTMETME  fashion, this list will not be your typical list. Go in with an open mind.
Here we go. 10 things that you can do to make your wife go googoogaga over you. They are simple and they pack a punch. (If you are a lady, send this article to all your married male friends and they will thank you later.)
1.Arrange her closet: Don’t be fooled by the hype. Women may look completely put together when they are out but go look at a woman’s closet when she leaves the house for that major event or for that day she has something important at work. A disaster.  The other outfits she considered, the blouses that didn’t match, the shoes, the jewelry … women always face a time crunch getting dressed for reasons that are beyond the scope of this article (we’d be here for days). Multiply this over a few days and you have a disastrous closet that she “intends” to fix over the weekend. Arrange it for her and you will cause her to shiver with love. For reasons I don’t have enough space to address, she will really appreciate it. You know… pants in one section, dress skirts in another, dress shirts here and camisoles here.
Don’t do it when she is there. Do it maybe when she is asleep, out, cooking or something, and don’t even say anything about it. Let her discover it.
The reason why this will get her into googoogaga mode is that a woman’s sense of security is often tied to how secure she is with how she looks. So when you arrange her closet, you tap into her “security” self and make it better. Think about it. if getting dressed is about feeling secure, then you arranging her closet is really beyond arranging clothes…it’s you making easier to feel secure.
2. Recognize the opportunity cost: This is not about thanking her for “doing” something or for “taking care of something”. Oh No. It’s not the quick “Hey thanks for …” or “I appreciate how you …” Na. It’s much deeper than that. It about putting thought in the thanking processes. Sure you could just buy her another necklace or take her out to dinner but none of those things will count quite like this. This is the type of conversation that you schedule. Yup. The type where you tell her you want to talk to her about something after dinner (she will try to drag it out of you right away but don’t budge…just tell her it’s not something bad); and then you thank her for something by acknowledging what it actually took to do that thing. It acknowledges the opportunity cost. It acknowledges the sacrifice made because that’s the true measure. It’s not just that she picked up the kids, it’s the fact that she scarified time to go, time in traffic, and time at work to do it. It sounds like “Honey I really want to thank you for picking up the kids after school the amount of times you do. It usually means you have to leave work by a certain time no matter what you still have to do at work, sit in traffic for 20 minutes, endure their craziness, wildness or whining in the car on the way home and then almost right away, start thinking of dinner for the family and still pull off this great meal we just had. I realize that my career is not more important than yours but it’s just that you have decided to make that sacrifice for us all”. What you will see on her face may be tears or a smile or her eyes widen. However what is certainly occurring in her heart is utter joy. Pure affection. In that instant, if you really said what you said with conviction, her life will find new meaning and fresh energy and you would have given that to her. She will pay you back a thousand fold. Saying that would have taken all of 60 seconds but you will reap the benefits for weeks if not months. What’s more? It won’t cost you a cent…only some thought.
3. The Bestie call: More than likely, your wife has a best friend. They go way back and maybe she was even the maid of honor at your wedding. You know who she is and if your wife was missing, (God forbid) after family, (or maybe even before family) the bestie would be the next place to call to find her. Well, don’t wait till your wife goes missing to call her bestie. Do it now. If your wife’s best friend is a positive influence on her, call her and let her know that. We men underestimate the social sacrifice our wives make when they marry us. They don’t have enough time to spend with friends, they make YOU…dear hubby, their priority. Well, more than likely before you ever got here, that bestie was her partner in crime and she looked out for and cared about your wife before you even met her. Even if you met your wife before her best friend, be assured that her bestie is part of her support group now and sense of social connection. If her bestie is a positive influence on your wife, call her and appreciate her for it. Tell her you appreciate her and that positive influence. Guess who that bestie will call as soon as she gets off the phone with you? Yup. Your wife…and she is going to rave about you to your wife. Two things will happen instantly (a) Your wife will hear how awesome you are from another person and will instantly go googoogaga over you (b) That bestie will instantly become your ally. Oh yes. She will become YOUR partner in crime in making your wife happy and will defend you if your wife got a brain freeze and forgets how insanely awesome you are :o )
4. Shake what your mama gave you: Yes. I said it. CAUTION! This one may give your wife such a good time that she may go into random giggling convulsions weeks after you do this. By the time you are done with this, your wife will be reminded about some of the important reasons why she married you: You can make her laugh, you make it easy for her to be silly and be herself around you, you trust her with your ego that you can be silly around her, and she always has front row seats to the husband private show.
Picture it. She is cooking, she just came back from work, sitting after her delicious dinner, before she leaves for work in the morning…anytime. You get up, boldy walk to the music player, or maybe the song just comes on TV or the radio and you bust out in mime and dance. I’m talking about a hip shaking, hip turning, rump shaking dance like next month’s rent is coming from the tips your wife gives. Lol. You may be thinking….what! I’m a serious kinda guy and I’ve never done that before.  My wife will think I’m possessed! GREAT. That’s even better. Trust me…she will love you for days for it. You see, a man’s ability to not take himself that seriously all the time…you can’t buy it with money. Women love to laugh and this will crack her up and crack open her loving.
Now here are the criteria. The song must be a somewhat fast song; it must be a funny romantic song. It must have a great beat and it must be a “girl I want you…girl be mine” kind of song. Classics/oldies are welcome and they must be songs your wife knows. Oh and you must mime/sing it TO HER!
Here are a few songs you can unleash your rump shake to:
- Limpopo by Kcee (Nigeria)
-Omo to shan by Wizkid feat Olamide (Nigeria)
-Baby Oku by flavor – dance version(Nigeria)
-Aint nobody by Chaka Khan
-Kiss by Prince
-Pretty Please by Estelle
-The way you make me feel – Michael Jackson (One hand in the air, one hand on your imaginary belt, move those hips and you’re in business. You’ll be the hottest thing your wife has ever seen even with that pot belly)
You don’t have to use these songs but you get the idea. So much googoogaga may come out of this that you may not need to touch this list for a while.
5. Show her how she is like a Bible Character: Take one great female Bible character. There are so many. Sarah , Ruth, Esther, Mary and so on. Read their story and find one or two ways that your wife is like that character. Find a parallel. Maybe that Bible character went through something similar to what your wife went/is going through. Maybe your wife shares a character trait with a Bible character. Is she hardworking? So was Ruth! Does she respect you and never ashamed to do so in public? Sarah respected Abraham so much that she called him Lord. Does your wife like to stand up for others? So did Esther! Discover the parallel and tell her. She will go googoogaga over you…as she should. The good thing is that this will benefit you too. You will see your wife in different light…you’ll see her like God wants you to see her. You see its one thing for your wife to remind you of your mother or of your aunt or your favorite High School teacher. But it’s a whole new ball game when your wife reminds you of Esther…or Mary, and she knows it. Googoogaga juice!
These are just the first 5. There are 5 to go and they get more exciting as we go along. Stay tuned for the next 5 in part two. In the mean time, subscribe to the blog to get notified of new posts, LIKE the facebook page HERE and certainly subscribe to the youtube channel HERE. Also, be social. Share the article (see icons below)
For more FABULOUS articles, please visit Tobi's blog HERE
About the Author
Tobi Atte is a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner
and Motivational Coach. He is a dynamic event host and speaker on several
topics such as motivation, change, leadership, success empowerment,
relationships, fresh perspectives on faith, and personal growth in general.


Thursday, 21 March 2013

Where are all the good black men?


Hiya!

Have you asked the question "Where are all the good single black men?" (especially for the international community).. Well, I know on one or two occasions, my friends and I have found ourselves asking in frustration lol

Living abroad, I found that it was harder to meet many Nigerian black men, talk more of ones that you will be willing to be in a relationship with or get married to! I remember whenever any single girl who was over 24 was moving back, there will be "don't worry, once you move back, you will be 'rushed' and you will be married in less than 1 year, guaranteed!", then they will proceed to give examples.. lol

When I was moving back, oh you should have seen people already mentally booking their aso-ebis and helping me to look for wedding venues because according to them this was "God taking you home so you can get married" for when you go back "there are many options, within a month you will have so many suitors" lol

I was sent this very detailed infographic on the subject and I thought to share.. What do you think?

Where Are All The Good Single Black Men

Via: Best Black Dating Sites

What's your verdict? + for my African folks, is it truly easier to meet such good black men at 'home'?

xxxx

Monday, 18 March 2013

Marriage Lessons by Jolene Engle

Hello everyone!

As you may know, I love reading blogs and I am a bonafide blog-hopper :-D

I am particularly interested in blogs that talk about relationships (no surprises there!), especially from a Christian's point of view.

Imagine my joy when I 'bumped' into this lovely blogger, Jolene Engle's world where she writes weekly (sometimes more) on her journey of meeting and marrying her husband, the challenges they have faced along the way and the joy and beauty of being a God-ly wife.

Sometimes, she kindly writes articles for us who are yet to join the married club.. I like her down-to-earthedness and her practical approach to addressing topics in marriage... and the icing on the cake?? It's based on the word of God :-) The first day I started reading her blog, I was so blessed that I went back to her first post to trying reading all her articles :-)

Recently she celebrated 15YEARS of marriage with her Beloved (as she lovingly refers to her husband) and she had the following 15 lessons she has learnt as a Godly wife from being married for 15 years (I guess that's 1 for each year)..


15 Things God Has Taught Me in 15 Years of Marriage

  1. As a Godly wife,  I needed a boatload of trust in the Lord for all aspects of my life.
  2. As a Godly wife, I needed to put my faith in Christ to be my provider rather than my husband.  Since I’m married to a self-employed man sometimes throughout our marriage his job status has changed to being an unemployed, self-employed man!
  3. As a Godly wife,  I needed to learn contentment when life didn’t go according tomy plan.  (Still learning this one!)
  4. As a Godly wife, I needed the Lord to calm my anxious heart and meet me where I was when my Beloved, a mere human, wasn’t capable of meeting all my needs.
  5. As a Godly wife, I needed to be filled with God’s overflowing grace so I could pour that same grace into my man, otherwise I’d have a crack in my marital foundation…and just a tiny sliver is enough room for the Enemy to squeeze into and wreak havoc in my marriage.
  6. As a Godly wife, I needed to encourage my man and become the Good Samaritan Wife to him when the world knocked him down.
  7. As a Godly wife, I found that when I became my husband’s biggest cheerleader, he became mine.
  8. As a Godly wife I had no idea how much I’d have to die to self in my marriage….and how much I’d enjoy dark chocolate as a result of this!  No, honestly, I didn’t realize how much this obedience to Christ would produce such sweet fruit in my marriage.  It’s all worth it, dear friend.
  9. As a Godly wife I was blown away by how much influence I had over my husband (and how I really enjoy this perk of the relationship!)
  10. As a Godly wife I learned I didn’t have to carry all of the responsibilities of our family and finances on my shoulders.  Although I didn’t fully understand why God made husbands as the head of the home when I was a new Believer and then a new bride, I fully see the benefits of this God-ordained headship today.  It’s a wonderful blessing the way God set this marriage thing up!
  11. As a Godly wife I needed to make sure that my mothering did not take precedence over my marriage.
  12. As a Godly wife I needed to learn that extended family and friends did not come before my marital relationship, therefore, we put hedges up around our marriage to protect us from this outside influence.
  13. As a Godly wife I needed to learn that my husband is drawn to me when I’m vulnerable, transparent, humble, caring, forgiving, gracious and kind, rather than when I’m prideful, impatient, snappy, argumentative, contentious, and withdrawn.  I want my husband drawn to me. :)
  14. As a Godly wife I needed to learn that my marriage was designed to bring God glory as well as to make me holy.  This puts all of my hardships, trials, and heartaches into perspective!
  15. As a Godly wife, my marriage is not about me, it’s about the Lord!
(Original article HERE)

Happy Married Life Jolene, here's to many more beautiful and fulfilling years of marriage xx

So I'll like to ask anyone who is married, what lessons have you learnt from being married?

God bless you xx

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Some reasons ladies break up with guys (Apparently)

.... Now ladies, we know that guys can break up for both real and ridiculous reasons! You can look at their responses here.



So how did we do in the survey?

1. “He wore sunglasses indoors.” (I blame Hip Hop)

2. “He cracked jokes all the time. I find funny guys really attractive at first, but the novelty always seems to wear off very quickly. What’s sexy at first can soon get quite irritating.” (yeah, I kinda agree)

3. “We never had an argument, in four years of dating. You might think that’s a good thing, but in the end I realised that it was because I couldn’t be bothered to disagree with him. It was easier to let him think that I agreed, because I just couldn’t be bothered.” (True)

4. “He kept tickling me. Fun the first time, really annoying the 30th time – and for some reason he thought I’d find it a turn-on.” (Repeat-offending)

5. “He let me make all the decisions. I like a guy to be accommodating to some extent, but I want him to take control sometimes. I don’t always want to be the one who decides what film we’re going to see.” (Please, be a man!)

6. “He got on better with my mum than I did. He’d phone her for a random chat, which I found really creepy.” (I don't think I would mind actually :-)

7. “He always insisted on picking up the bill on dates. It’s nice to be treated, and it’s obviously great when a bloke can pay his way, but it felt like he was trying to buy me. I earn money too and I’d like the chance to show it.” (Pass him my way, please. Thank you!)

8. “He talked dirty. He thought it was sexy but I was freaked out by it.” (Dump!)

9. “I farted during a date. He didn’t say anything but I was so humiliated I never wanted to see him again.” (LOL)

10. “We bumped into his ex girlfriend in town one day, and he started chatting to her without introducing us. It was awesomely rude and I never forgave him for it.” (Dumped like yesterday!)

11. “He wore more perfume than I did.” (LOL, look on the bright side, when you forget to put some on, just give him a tight hug, sorted!)

12. “He’d introduce me to people as ‘my friend’. When a guy does that, you have to dump him ‘cause you know you’re on borrowed time. I dumped him so he couldn’t dump me first.” (Wisdom is profitable)

13. “He never held my hand in public.” (Hmmmm, hold his!)

14. “He constantly held my hand in public and it got irritating, especially when he was sweaty.” (LOL, donate to the above)

15. “He snored in bed and he’d get really angry when I tried to turn him over, because it ‘woke him up’. Haha! I’d been lying awake for hours listening to his noise! I’ve now resolved to dump any man as soon as I know he’s a snorer.” (What are you doing in bed? :-P)

16. “He cried too easily. I liked that he was sensitive, but his crying made me uncomfortable. I’m slightly ashamed to say it but I want a man who’s strong and will comfort me when things happen, not a man who’ll join in with the crying.” (Dump! but with caution and plenty tissues)

17. “He was too well-endowed.” (How do you know that *tut tut*)

18. “He always put his tongue right into my mouth when we kissed, and it took all the enjoyment out of snogging. He was a gorgeous man and he’d had plenty of girlfriends, so I have no idea how he got to 30 years old without being taught to kiss better. It’s a total deal-breaker, and it was a shame because I really fancied him.” (erhmmm.. Nah)

19. “He kept me waiting for days for phone calls. He said he wanted to ‘take things slowly’ because he’d been hurt in the past, but it just frustrated the life out of me. It felt like he was playing hard to get, and that’s incredibly irritating. If a guy likes me I want him to ring me constantly!” (Playing hard to get is MY job.. Dump!)

20. “He rang me constantly and it got on my nerves.” (I like plenty calls :-)

21. “He spent loads of money on designer labels. I liked that he took so much care over his appearance, but he never had any money left to spend on me.” (Stingy.com)

22. “He kept telling me how ‘fit’ I was. That’s nice, but I wanted him to say that I was clever and funny, or that I had nice knees or something. ‘You’re fit, you’re gorgeous’ is just a bit obvious… also it sounded a bit common.” (I hate that too, when I'm not Barbie)


23. “He couldn’t pronounce my surname properly.” (He couldn't wait for you to take his darling :-)

24. “He made fun of me all the time. He seemed to think it was flirtatious to insult my nose.” (Nahhh)

25. “He’d spent a year travelling round the world and he talked about it quite a lot. I felt totally dull by comparison. Plus I was jealous of him.” (Baby let him upgrade you)

26. “He had very unruly body hair. You know, ‘down there’. I didn’t have the guts to ask him to trim it.” (How do you know *shock gasp*)

27. "He was very mean about his ex girlfriend. He’d call her a slut and all sorts. He’d dated her for more than a year. So if she’s a slut, what am I?” (No way matey!)

28. “He was quite picky with his food. I felt so self-conscious when we ate together because I’d always want to eat more than him, and it made me feel like a right pig.” (Lol, I may have that problem)

29. “He never shaved properly, and my chin was developing a chronic rash.” (Be kind guys)

30. “He was quite shy and had real trouble making eye contact. I need a man who’ll gaze at my face.” (Lol, bashful date?)

31. “He told me off for talking too much. I only talked too much because I felt so alive and enthusiastic in his company – I wasn’t like that with other people. But he moaned about it so I dumped him.” (No Moan please)

32. “We spent every evening snuggled on the sofa watching telly. He thought we had the perfect relationship but I was bored out of my mind. At the beginning I’d had to chase him a bit, and I’d found that very exciting. Knowing that you’re going to spend every evening on the sofa isn’t so exciting.” (A bit of adventure never hurt anyone)

33. “After a year of living together he’d still never done a load of washing voluntarily.”
(Laziness is a fatal disease for relationships)


34. “I heard that my ex was getting married and I wished it was me who was marrying him. So I dumped the guy I’d left my ex for.” (Understandable)

35. “When I’m in love with a guy I’m fantastically vain, but with my ex I stopped caring what I looked like. As soon as I realised that, I had to get out of the relationship.” (Over-familiarity is another bad relationship disease)

36. “He cooked lots of curries and I was putting on weight.” (Haha, my friend hit the gym or close your mouth)

37. “He told me he loved me on our second date. Alarm bells…” (#Awkward)

So there we have it folks.. Ultimately, I believe that when someone is 'not that into you', they could come up with ALL sorts of excuses to get out.. But when an individual understands what love and commitment is, especially when they want to spend the rest of their lives with you, these excuses become trivialities..

Look out for those, they are definitely worth keeping! :-)

God bless xx