Monday, 31 March 2014

Dear One - How do I help him understand my new faith and stance? 2 {RESPONSE}

Hello everyone.. Thanks to the lovely ladies who responded to the previous post Sayedero, Relentless Builder, Rai, Glowing Scenes and of course those who saw me in 'camera' lol (you know yourself, I appreciate you tres much!).. God bless you and may He respond to your every need in Jesus name! *kisses*

So, as promised, please see the response to the question asked HERE, in addition to all the comments given.... Most of all, I pray for God's grace and wisdom for her to do the right thing.


Hello dear,

After reading your email, I took some time out to pray for you and your fiance and also for grace and wisdom as to how to manage this situation in a way that pleases God.

You have made one of the best decisions anyone could ever make - re-dedicating your life to God. Your relationship with God is the most important aspect of your life because that determines life here and life after here. And please always remember that God loves you soo much and He wants the best for you. He wants you to have life and to have it in abundance. He wants you to prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers. He wants you to have the very best that life has for you and afterwards, heaven.

I know that you must love your fiance and would want to be at peace with him as much as possible and I pray that God will make a way for you in Jesus name.

First of all, when you and your partner are not in agreement over an issue, it is difficult to work at it or succeed at it. Also, it may be more difficult for your fiance to understand this new you seeing as it was alright previously and he is not quite there yet himself.

I believe this is where communication matters a lot - I would encourage you to please take time out to explain your new relationship with God. Present it to him in the most loving of ways and explain to him how it would ultimately make your relationship with him better. Don't hide your faith from him, share it with him.

Let him understand that you are not condemning him nor trying to be wicked to him by depriving him of sex but you are doing it out of respect to God and then to him as well.
Please, when you make a new decision in your relationship, it is always important to be open about it and communicate it with your partner. He may not understandt the action but at least you will give him the opportunity to understand the reason behind it and not give room for false thoughts (he could think you are doing it to manipulate him, to have a sense of power, or because your love for him has waned etc - and I know that's not the message you are trying to pas on to him dear)..

When you have discussed with him, you need to help him too.. Understand what could turn him on or make the wait difficult for him and try to avoid it as much as possible - you know him, you possibly know what could be his undoing, don't give room for temptation. For instance, some men are very visual so if your dressing would make him 'stumble', tone it down for now, when you get married you can pump it right up! Reduce physical contact with him as much as possible.. Long hugs can lead to unplanned activities (lol).. Now, may not be a great idea to stay over at his house, if possible, make alternative sleeping arrangements until you get married. As you are helping him, you are helping yourself too because I'm sure you must be physically attracted to him as well. Look for alternatives to make your relationship interesting - go on dates in public places - use the opportunity to talk.. Discover new things about each other etc..

Furthermore, be purposeful about your relationship - Thank God you are engaged, focus on your wedding day. You have a set time-limit that you are working towards. It's like fasting - whatever happens, you know come 6pm you are breaking that fast and eating!

Finally and most importantly, you need the grace of God! The bible says that the hearts of Kings are in the hands of God. The heart of your fiance is in the hands of God, God can turn it however which way He desires. Never under-estimate the power of prayer! Pray to God for an unusual understanding from him. Pray that God will give both of you the grace to please Him in your relationship. Pray that God will help your fiance during this period to have self-control and to be patient - God can do it.
I will also be praying along with you dear.

My dear sis, please remember that our Christian walk is a personal one. The bible says that we must walk out our own salvation with fear and trembling. At the end of the day, when we come before God on the day of judgement, we will each stand alone - no husband, no wife, no mother, no father. It's therefore up to you to determinedly protect your relationship with God, and sometimes, you have to count the cost of obeying God. However, I can assure you by God's grace that the cost of following Jesus is never too high compared to the benefits.

My prayer for you is that God will give you the grace to fulfill His purpose in your life. That God will make your life an example to many in Jesus name. May He use you to glorify His name in Jesus mighty name. May your marriage and home be blessed in Jesus name. You are blessed and highly favoured sis.

Lots of love,
Ayo xx

PS, you shouldn't miss tomorrow's Waiting and Loving It!! It sheds more light on the topic above xxxx
Twitter: @1plustheone


  1. Nice one. I didn't know you had done a response. You can check out my comment in the previous post.

    I don't think your reply was well-rounded sha. You didn't take into cognisance that the guy has said he doesn't agree. What if he sticks to that stance? What does she do then? I think that is what you should be answering.

  2. Thanks a lot for your comment @ilola.. While I understand that the guy is yet to understand this 'new' her, it is very much expected. Remember they both saw things the same way until now that her perspective has changed based on her new relatonship with God. My first response would be - give him a chance to understand this new you (and possibly embrace it too)..
    Now you're right when you ask what happens if he decides to still not agree? The last paragraph of the response answers it without necessarily making a decision for her.. That's were counting the cost of her relationship with God comes into play...
    Her relationship with God is new so it's new territory but I know without a doubt that when you walk with God and your heart is open to His leading, you will know when it is time to exit the scene..
    Hope it explains my point better? xx

  3. Love your response! Good job with the blog. May God continue to give you wisdom.

  4. @Nikkisho, Thank you hun.. I say a big AMEN! xx

  5. @1plus1

    I 100% loved the way you answered the question. you used wisdom rather than just saying what you think, and you ultimately put the ball in her court. it has to be her decision cause she has to live with herself and she is accountable to Jehovah. You were empathetic/non judgemental and I applaud you for this cause i know a lot of us mean well but don't know the best way to put our point across.
    I might even start sending you my dilemmas. lol

  6. @1+The One: Did not now you already sent a reply here. Good one. Well done with response! Prayer is truly essential and mutual understanding on the matter important. God is in control.

  7. @Nike, Thank God for His grace.. LOL @sending dilemmas.. Thank you so much fabulous Mrs Sho! Your comments and support are invaluable.. I appreciate you much much!
    @Adrenaline, thanks! I loved your vert detailed comment. I had responded to her but wanted to also get other wise counsels and I am glad it was posted because the comments have been great xx

  8. Great stuff :-)
    It's usually a struggle whn ppl see things differently but thats just life..different perspectives based on faith, experiences etc. Its a matter of patience. Lovely write up. Great blog!!

  9. Well done for the response 'Oneplus'
    We have the responsibility of praying for them too, I'm sure God also wants the heart of this man and so he too will be transformed in Jesus name!

  10. Hiya Roselyn! Thanks a lot for stopping by and also your comment! Yes, you're right, our perspectives differ but I thank God that all in all, it's founded on the word of God which remains unchanged! *Awesome stuff!* xxxx
    @Isioma, Yes, I believe so very much hun.. And I pray that God will indeed give them the grace to do what is right and give Him glory! xx


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