Wednesday 22 April 2009

Case of the Ex

I just finished chatting with the ex.... He was the one I could say I was actually "crazy" about... There was just this connection that was special...He was the one guy that I was just soo attracted to.. Not because he was drop dead gorgeous (brother is good-looking though) but that wasn't the main thing, that's when I realised how the deeper you felt for a guy influenced how physically attracted you were to him...

So we were chatting on messenger today and catching up, laughing and stuff (even the littlest things are funny when we talk) I guess there's just this compatibility factor...

Yeah, so today I finally told him about the fact that I was seeing someone. I wasn't hiding it but we havent spoken in a while.. It was a bit...... I don't know..

I love my boyfriend but sometimes especially at this early stage, I get doubts sometimes (yeah, I was going to ask about that, is that normal at the beginning of relationships? Is it normal to ask questions like "have I made the right decision? Definately definately surely sure?) Like I mentioned in my earlier post here, though I sometimes have doubts, sometimes I am soo sure... So I was wondering if that was normal.. hmmm

But as me and the ex were talking, I started to reminisce on the old days and in truth I miss him, but I love my boyfriend....I loveD the ex but I love by boyfriend...

So I asked myself the question I have always pondered on, when you fall in love, what happens when things don't work out, was it that it wasn't really love in the first place? Do you stop loving the person? Can you stop loving someone? Is it possible to stop loving someone? If it is, what do you now feel for the person if you don't hate them? Would the person forever have a special place? If yes, then doesn't that put a strain on your current relationship?

I wonder, I just wonder (For those who watched "Third-Eye :-)

So any takers??


  1. I know the feeling.
    I have never really stopped loving my first love. As a result, he has become the yardstick by which I measure the other guys that come into my life.
    Just give everything time, and embrace the now. Things will make themself clear.

  2. You dont stop loving someone you loved unless the love is completely replaced by hate and bitterness. But the truth is that to enjoy a new relationship, you have to let go of the previous one. There has to be a cutting off. Otherwise, you may be thorn between going back to the ex and keeping the present.

  3. Thanks ladies, taking it on board xx

  4. deep questions I tell u..
    I think u always have a place in ur heart for that person..but y i dont think it will matter depends on how much space u give to this person.
    If u hate them then there is no space...
    if its a spot u give for them..then its ok as long as the current and others take up the rest of the heart.
    But if u give them a big space that makes the space for the current there is something wrong.
    so nothing do u if u feel that way...just dont over feel that way..

  5. lovely post hun honest n open :-)
    I get them feelings of doubts at times but do you know what I have come to believe even though I have only deen in two relationships, I think it is so easy to fall in love could take a day even fall in love with the person ..their ways ..who they are they are ....and that's why unless they change drastically you could most probably not stoppping loving them. of course on the other hand there is lust ...I'm happy me n my bf have never kissed n we are far away because I can say I know it's not based on lust ...well hope your ok hun ?

  6. hmm those i really deep questions..
    the person will always be in a special place in your heart, but you just have to let go because i feel if you don't let go you can't love your present bf completely.. thats my opinion sha..

  7. I sincerely think u can stop loving someone. It gets to a point where you look at them and u don't see them any longer. u'll probably always have fun memories of ur time together, but u never regret letting them go. it does happen. great blog btw. L

  8. OMG ! I am in the same i know that feeling..just like NigerianDramaQueen said..give it time dear..I love your blog by the ways...if you get a chance check mine out.

  9. i still love my ex but we have totally moved on and remain close friends. People make out relationships to be love/hate.... Just cos it didn't work out doesn't mean the love should die unless it wasn't love in the first place.

    So it's ok to keep loving people you've always loved, you don't need to stop cos you've find their replacement.

  10. Wow, so many questions.

    I've heard people say, you never stop loving someone, but I know you can forget about someone, all these things, we can't force to happen, sometimes you want to forget about that person, but probably because you're trying SO hard to leave them be, you end up doting more on them.

    Love, love, love, something i'll never quite grasp or understand. For now, I'll go with the flow.

    P.s. It's completely natural to reminisce with the ex, especially if you had some fantastic times.


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