Monday, 11 February 2013

Let's talk about... BOYS!

Valentine countdown special: 3days to go!! :-)

Valentine Post coming soonm but today I want to talk about boys... yes boys! (Like that's not what I talk about a lot lol.. It's my time)

Anyways, I had the opportunity of speaking to one of my exes (is there a word like that??!) who happens to now be a very good friend of mine.
I think I must have mentioned it on the blog before that sometimes when the opportunity arises, I like to know what happened or hear the proper truth, especially when things ended on a confused note..

Well... this one I wanted to know as I was sooo into this guy and things just didn't work out (you know when you even start suspecting 'those people' in the village!)...

So I asked the question, "guy, let's talk?".... And I learnt a few things..

1. Boys tend to run shy away from emotional stuff. (why? I don't know.. I guess they are not built to be as emotional as ladies tend to be)
2. You need to really really understand what they are saying when they are not quite saying it. Boys usually are not the best at expressing themselves and we need to literally pray for a discerning spirit to truly understand when they speak or act in certain ways.
3. Sometimes, it's best not to read a boy's actions 'verbatim'.. understand the reason behind an action. It may not be as straight-forward as you think.
4. When a boy is going through stuff, he has a high tendency to do senseless things and / or push you away. It's not you, it's just his way of dealing with 'stuff'. It's a 'protective' mechanism - they try to use it to protect themselves from being vulnerable. Rather than face it and deal with it, they'd rather not face it and rather push you away. It's not always because feelings have changed towards you, they just prefer to sort out things on their own
5. Sometimes, when a boy acts weirdly, in an unusual manner or out of character, you need to find out why... Boys don't talk or share easily unlike ladies. So in the most loving manner, ask questions, find out what's going on. Be bold to ask difficult questions. (Again, he may become very defensive but prod gently and let him understand in very clear terms that the reason why you ask is because you care).
6. When they push you away or discourage you, still 'push' gently to understand him..

In effect, the underlying issue is communication, especially in relationships. Clear, open and sincere communication cannot be over-emphasised. For any relationship to thrive, both parties have to have an open line of communication and be willing to fully express themselves.

A lot of relationships have suffered huge blows and untimely deaths because of mixed communication, bottling up feelings and emotions, a person's perspective or interpretation of an action etc..

Now, you may have noticed that in the above list, I used the term 'boys'... I believe that when a boy makes that long journey to being a man, those things above shouldn't really be his issue. A man knows how to communicate with his woman. A man is designed to be the head, to lead. Real man have emotions and are not afraid to be vulnerable before someone that they love..... In short, real men are not afraid of love, neither are they afraid of showing love or being loved.

So, what do you think?

PS Welcome to all the new people who are following this blog! You're absolutely wonderful and I appreciate you coming back.. God bless you :-) xxxx


  1. loool! i like how u differentiated the men from the boys....

  2. You mentioned some pretty valid points.. But then I will add this one thing, boys becoming men has plenty to do with who they interact with and not just the passage of time.

    Get to understand your boy and you will see him change and become a man. And yeah, communication is always key

  3. @Sayedero, there are boys and there are MEN!
    @SNM, I actually wanted to CC you cause I was very interested to get your opinion.. Thanks a lot for that insight.. I totally agree with you.. Hope you're good? xx

  4. i love your comment about transition from boyhood to manhood. yes we all have issues, but it takes a man(also someone who really wants to be a relationship) to communicate well.
    i do agree that boys may be lacking in the area of effective communication, but if you're in a relationship, you should make the effort.... it's not for boys..... but for men.....:)


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