Monday, 14 April 2014

I don't think I qualify for a good marriage...

Don’t get it twisted, everyone has a past. If you didn’t, then there would be no need for a Saviour.


One of the impressions that people may have after reading a Waiting and Loving It series is “What a perfect couple, could I ever measure up?”. I get emails sometimes saying 'Oh I’ve done this and that and I am not sure I could have what they have'.... It makes me sad to read that.

I cannot say it clearly enough – God does not bless you because you are ‘deserving’.. Actually, the only way you are ‘deserving’ is by coming under grace by the blood of Jesus.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - Romans 3:23

Can you have a great marriage despite the fact that you feel you have lived a less than ideal life? The answer is a BIG YES! You see, when God forgives, He forgives totally. He says that He wipes away your history of sin and remembers it no more - 

"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more" - Isaiah 43:25

Your future is not determined by your past when you give your life to Christ and are washed by His blood. The bible states it clearly –

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new" - 2Corinthians 5:17

The common factor for all the Waiting and Loving It couples is not the fact that they were all virgins before they got married, NO - that's absolutely false! The common factor is that they met Jesus, they obtained mercy, they made the decision to do right by God from then on and they received grace from God to do so! None of them, none of us are perfect. In fact, if God were to consider our 'works', we would not qualify for any blessing at all.

I am writing this to encourage you, your past does not matter to God as much as what you choose to do today, and live for the future once you gain information and knowledge. God does not condemn you – He says that while you and I were still sinners, He loved us! He hates the sin but He loves you so much.

He sees your struggle, infact He understands your struggle and that’s why He doesn’t expect you to go at it alone, he releases His grace to you and I. All you have to do is to take that step and make that decision.

Can you have a good marriage? A good home? A clean slate? The answer is YES. But it would not be based on your work alone or how ‘good’ you are – the most important factor is the God-factor! Start believing it and start walking in it!

Have a great week people and I pray that you excel in all your relationships by God's grace. xx

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
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Twitter - @1plustheone


  1. Here's a lesson i'm re-learninng: God did not come to make us innocent, He came to make us righteous.(in spite of the guilt our past labels us with) All He requires is that through faith in His name and ability on your behalf, you accept this gift of righteousness you can't work for and reign in all ramifications of life..

    Thank you Oneplus!

  2. Amen, thanks Ugo dear xx
    You're right Elisabeth. We need to recognise and embrace the free gift of God's mercy and salvation xx

  3. This artivle is on point! Thank God for His never ending grace. It os amazing to know that while ae were yet sinners Zhe loved us. Nothing we can do as confirmed in Romans 8 can take us away fr His love. And because oc this great love, He does not leave us tge way we are but continues to work on us to make us the absolute perfect version of ourselves. What an awesome God

  4. This is just beautiful. It's all by His grace, we will never be deserving but we must be receptive of the grace and new beginnings that God's mercy offers and forgive ourselves as He has forgiven us. God is not waiting to remind us of our past very chance He gets, there's a reason He has a sea of forgetfulness. How soothing that is. Thank you for this very timely reminder. Your blog is a blessing. Go bless you!!!

  5. @Anonymous! He is indeed an awesome God and we could never fathom the depth of His love
    @Eloxie, Indeed He has a sea of forgetfulness.. What a great and mighty King xx

  6. Very well said. I thank God for grace.

  7. All I will just say to the troubled heart is that it is never late to change and turn to God cos God waits and knocks @ d door of our heart everyday. It is only in him that we can perfect our lives and amend our ways. Dnt let ur past weigh u down spiritually, remember that christ has paid for all our troubles. Look upon the cross and be consoled. Jesus loves us all.

  8. Thank you.U really won't know how much your blog has inspired me.I feel the Holy Spirit just led me here after a particularly hard time I had,letting me know "Child!You think you are ready for marriage but you still have a lot to learn.Its not because I am not ready but you arent".
    I would never have thought I still needed to learn a few things but the peace and calm and support I have gotten from this site have been invaluable.So also the knowledge that it's not only about no sex before marriage but also no smooching,oral sex and the likes.i have been celibate for a while now but I have realised the importance of total celibacy and how to go about it through the waiting and loving it series

  9. And shout out to berry.God totally used her and I would always be grateful for leading me to this site.

  10. So true—I've thought at times that I'm undeserving of a good man but then I remember that it's not my works that leads to these blessings but God's grace. Well said as usual, Ayo; thank you!

  11. Ayo, accept my virtual kiss! Muaah! Lol :P

    This post just cleared up so many confusion about the waiting series. Even I was like "Won't people start thinking it's not ok to have a past?" thereby choosing to ignore your posts.

    Our savior forgives...and this He does wholeheartedly.

  12. @Anonymous1, Amen, thank you so much for your comment. Indeed Jesus loves us all
    @Anonymous2, Your comment has richly blessed me and I thank you very much for speaking out. God bless you indeed. I thank God for what He is doing and I just pray that He will continue to give us the grace to walk right with him and have fulfilling relationships xx
    @GNG, Not our works at all.. Only by the unending grace of God. Thank you xx
    @Maggielola, catching that virtual kiss! :-) Thank you very much for your support and encouragement! And please if ever you feel the need to, I welcome your feedback :-) xx

  13. well written. It's really not not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. Thanks for sharing..

  14. Thanks Emeka for that and great to have you visit the blog! Welcome! :-) xx


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