Monday, 6 October 2014

'Thus Says The Lord': Brothers Step Up! - Grace Efezokhae

You all need to see the grin on my face when I read beautiful love stories of how couples met on Waiting and Loving

It!!! series on 1 + The One and also Wedding features on Bellanaija weddings. 

It’s always interesting to note that even the mundane of things could attract two strangers together - from the nice hair the babe had on to the guy’s dentition amongst others. For me, I get attracted to a nice pair of shoes on a guy and neatly done haircut. Who knows, maybe that’s what will attract me to THE ONE. Ayo, watch out for our love story….lol! "Grace saw a guy wearing this cute pointed pair of shoes and voila we both shouted Eureka!"..hahahah!

I listened to a young pastor preach some time ago and he talked about how he met his wife. He said he was at a Christian gathering and he was attracted to this beautiful lady with lovely legs. The Holy Spirit revealed to him at that point that she was his wife. He began speaking in tongues before the Holy Spirit told him “Come on go and talk to her”. Now, that’s my grouse for this write up o. Why do Christian brothers get so spiritualized about a common 'boy meet girl' kind of thing or getting to know each other better?

If God reveals someone to you as your to-be spouse. Why would you just walk up to the person and start quoting scriptures and telling her straightaway what God has told you? It may have worked for some, don’t get me wrong. I just feel the process of becoming friends first is a really good thing. Why not start by being friends and gradually both of you can be on the same page of conviction. 

So many ladies have been misled and manipulated by some spirikoko brothers with the “Thus saith the Lord proposals.

Sometime last year, a so called brother in my service unit at church gave me a Christmas gift in form of a bible and a book. I was like “Oh thank you” and even bought him a book the following week. I did not read any meaning to it because It was the season of gift exchange between the church members at that time. After then, he came with the “Thus saith the Lord said proposal. He was like Daddy (referring to God) revealed you to me, that Grace you are...." Etc etc, and proceeded to tell how I needed to pray about it.... My thoughts??I’d rather pray for the kids in Somalia who need a plate of food!! I

I’m sure the utter look of annoyance on my face was evidence enough for him. Now here's the thing, he didn’t even get to know me first neither did he even ask if I was in a relationship! He just came with his own desires and in my opinion, started using God as a cover up. To make matters even more dicey, he started pestering with calls asking if I had been praying about it. After a few days, I got really fed-up and gosh I had to give him a piece of my mind. 

He said he would go back to talk with Daddy... 

You see, I have my personal relationship with God too and God should have given me a conviction the way he did for Joseph and Mary right? I think it’s high time the Christian brothers woke up and realized that there are some phases in life they don’t need to 'over-spiritualise'. Dress well and look good not by wearing cutlass sized ties, larger than life shirts and over flapped trousers. These are just one of the many reasons why sometimes we see a fervent Christian sister rolling with a non-spiritualised dude, and we begin to wonder what the sister is seeing that we can’t see!

Enough said….1 Corinthians 14:33 – For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints”. God loves us ladies so much that he will not force any brother down our throat by malicious prophecies. He has given us the gift of freewill. Will God give you a brother you are not physically attracted to? No, he won’t. if he is really the One, God will give you a natural desire to love him as he is. Develop a more personal relationship with God and don’t be deceived by all these “Thus saith the Lord” proposal even if the brother is the most spiritualized brother on earth!


And Miss Grace has spoken! What are your thoughts? Do you think it's alright to go with the flow once a 'broo' has come to tell you 'thus says the Lord'?

For the brothers in the house? Any responses? I look forward to reading your thoughts!


Grace Efezokhae fondly called graciemama is a Chartered Accountant and a graduate of Accounting from Covenant University. She has worked previously with 2 of the big 4 Accounting firms. She has a passion for writing and blogs at She looks forward to traveling round the world in her lifetime. You can contact her by email at


  1. I thought i was the only one that thought like this. I don't think anybody should use God's name to make me marry or go out them.

    1. Amen to that! I used to believe that it was the only way, but no more lol.. Let God show both of us

  2. hehehe i am so with her on this, i find it so annoying, how about getting to know a person first . it sad to think some women have fallen for this thus saith the lord trick some folks thrive on using the word of God in manipulative ways

    1. Exactly! What happened to wooing the lady properly and not hiding behind the cover of 'thus says the Lord" lol - I wonder who was the first person to use that line to ask a girl out!

  3. No way! Don't fall for it o! I heard someone say this years ago:

    "God is not a gossip."

    Very true. If he indeed spoke to you (Brother Spirikoko), then naturally, He will also tell me (Sister "Shine your eye well well"). I am assuming both people have a relationship with God and can hear from God for themselves.

    If a brother really believes God spoke to Him, fine. Keep it to yourself and continue praying about it and be friends with the sister. God himself will speak to the sister and confirm it. Don't go and tell her and put unnecessary pressure on her to accept your proposal by fire and by force.

    ... Meanwhile, while you're waiting, Brother Spirikoko, work on being more romantic. No be only the Book of Job una go dey discuss for dinner date when she finally agrees.

    1. Hi5 for this comment Sister 'Shine your eye well well' lol.. Very true!

  4. Yaaaayyyyyy!!! Thank you so much Ayo for the feature.
    I really do appreciate.

    1. Gracie, my utmost pleasure!!
      Brilliant article.. Very true with great humour!
      Thanks for writing xx

  5. My thoughts are... I agree with her jare.

    If God really spoke to you, you don't have to tell her immediately. Be her friend first, and God will speak to her to, cos I am assuming God will send you to someone who has a relationship with Him too.

    1. I agree.. When you tell her, it puts undue pressure on the girl.. Abi who wants to offend God? lol

  6. One of my elders in the church shared a funny (and true) story where in the course of a weekend 2 or 3 men (can't remember the details) approached the same woman telling her "God showed me you're the one". Clearly at least one of them must have been wrong...

    My problem with this approach is that I have been wrong about so many things in my life already that I don't assume that I have the perfect-divine-revelation just like that. Distinguishing your own thoughts from God's will is not always easy, especially in the romantic area where one can be easily confused by infatuation.

    And even if you are perfectly sure she is the one, abeg give her time, get to know her and give her appropriate space and time to find out for herself if she has the same "revelation".

    1. LOL @the men who God spoke to about one woman!

      Excellent point - Distinguishing our own thoughts from God's will is not easy at all! Particularly when you have seen what you like.. In your mind you are like "God you better be saying something oh!"

      Exactly.. I think sometimes it's a lazy way out..

  7. I am soooo with grace on this...
    We had a relationship weekend talk in church where the minister was really down to earth and talked about this too-even if God has showed you she is the one, biko bros still mellow nah? Get to know her, approach gently and like a gentleman...if you nor sabi toast, use your spirituality well,ask the holy Spirit to teach you how to toast and approach the lady-He teaches all things you know?

    That said,if God has told the guy about the lady,then I know for sure that He will tell the lady about the guy too..chill,dont pester with calls,let the lady pray and know for herself not through your lips..

    Ps:free lessons for the guys-a startup line of hi,I am Tyler, a handshake, exchange of numbers,some calls leading to a date and getting to know ladies will be nicer than the "God told me line".
    Just giving free lessons.hehe

    1. Thank you jare my sister Frances for that tutorial.. (We should do a series on that you know lol)

      I agree, ask the Holy Spirit to teach you.. If He is leading you, you can be sure He will be more than happy to give you spiritual expo.. The babe will just see that you are hitting all the right spots!

  8. How brothers in the Lord pls stop this nah!!
    God is a perfect match maker, if he is the One telling about a lady, let him finish it! Isn't he the author & finisher?
    This is what to do, the bible tells us that 'let all things be judged'

    1. Get to know her, be her friend
    2. Check to know if you like her and if she likes you
    3. Check to know her S.H.A.P.E ***an acronym I keep
    4. Know the right time and place to ask her without sounding spooky....

    Forgive my brothers
    Madam Grace!

    1. We have forgiven :-)

      Please what does S.H.A.P.E mean oh! lol
      I like the 4-step program by the way

  9. Lol! This is too funny, Grace. I think many of our brothers are simply getting "carried away". RELAX. CALM DOWN. If you feel God has told you she is the one for you, then begin a friendship with her, get to know her better, and give her the chance to also receive confirmation from God about you as well.

    Please, don't go and force yourself on her!

    1. Thank you!
      Sadly, some do force themselves on you! Look at the example she gave.. "Is it by force, I said God has not spoken to me!!" lol

  10. I am so with Grace on this. A friend was gisting about her church...she said in her church a brother sees a sister, goes to the pastor 1st and tells the pastor the holyspirit said and from that moment the two of them becomes a couple. They don't care if you have someone long as the holy spirit has spoken, that's the end for you...but how come I've never had the holy spirit said kind of proposal??? I don't even know what I'll do if I was in that situation...hmnnnn

    1. Hahaha.. Seeen, I can't begin to imagine how much people will abuse that procedure!
      You see fine sister (particularly in the choir, with her fine voice)... Infact the brother will be hearing voices in English and his native language!
      May God help us to be wise and not get carried away with some wannabe Prophets!


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