Monday, 17 February 2014

Will I have a good marriage?

Not everyone is looking forward to getting married.. Some people are scared of the prospect of marriage! Like, what would happen after we say 'I Do'? Would I be happy? Would we be true to our vows and committed for the long haul?


There are deep set doubts as to being in a committed relationship and sometimes the thought of it can be almost suffocating.

For some the desire is there alright, but it's like what if I get it wrong?! What's the guarantee that I would not end up like Mr A or Mrs Y?! They started happy and all that, now look how they turned out!

I used to be scaredd (bold and underlined!) of the prospect of marriage! Don't get me wrong, I wanted to get married, sure! I have always had a bone of romance but I had seen so many bad examples of marriages that the thought of it scared me! I had heard and seen people being destroyed or a shadow of themselves as a result of poor marriage decisions! To be honest, at some point, I used to genuinely believe that after 5years of marriage, couples endured each other.. You do your duty as a mother, he does his as a father, you find a way to relate (awkwardly) with each other and if you can manage that, you stay married! (Did I hear you say "Oh dear!")

This fear for me was real because I am a Christian and like the bible enjoins, I don't believe in divorce cause God says He hates it so as I thought then, God help me if I end up in a wrong marriage, with a wrong man.. Imagine a lifetime of agony! Real hell on earth!! Trying continuously to 'fix things'.

As I grew in my relationship with God and I grew older, I started to actively pray about it - my fears, my concerns, the prosperity of my marriage! I remember then, anytime they asked for a prayer point/request - mine would be concerning marriage "Lord, give me a good marriage, I don't want to marry wrongly, I don't want to endure my husband or my marriage".

And God answered my prayers concerning my fear about marriage..

I have mentioned previously that I believe that marriage is one of the biggest acts of faith - deciding to commit to a long term relationship without actually knowing what will exactly happen afterwards. Many of us know that "faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God". Now how that was translated in my life was that God started with my mind and what I heard and saw. He transformed my thinking and renewed my mind by bringing me in contact with people who had exemplary marriages - like the real deal, not TV stuff..

I didn't even know what He was doing until a little after. One way or the other, I started mixing with people who had been married for a while and still enjoyed being married to each other.. not one, not two.. My faith was being restored, good marriages no longer belonged to novels but were achievable! I read a lot and prayed some more, renewing, changing, re-setting my mindset to agree with God's idea and plan for marriage.

God did a work in me from within. He didn't wait for me to get married to prove this to me, He healed my heart and my mind when I didn't even realise that I needed it! It was practical - I feel like I went through a 'school of marriage' by watching examples of others, listening attentively to lessons learnt etc. And I didn't plan it - the Master Planner did!

And now, I look forward to the prospect of marriage and I KNOW that by God's grace, I am having an exemplary husband, marriage and home in Jesus when it comes - until death do us part!

      source                                                               source

This explains a little bit of my zeal for building relationships, celebrating God-ly marriages and discussing fruitful relationships. We are highly influenced by what surrounds us, what we hear, what we see and what we interact with!

Marriage was created by God to be beautiful. It is God's own creation/idea. He saw a need in Adam and decided to make him a helpmeet. God created an avenue for companionship, friendship, sex, fruitfulness and generational continuation. Everything God made was GOOD.. Marriage is GOOD!

This post was inspired by a question asked HERE by Mizadventures of Mizchif and I know that some people may be facing doubts about marriage based on many factors - probably having never seen nor understood how a good marriage can happen, an experience of a bad relationship or from negativity and lies that have been constantly fed on.

God wants you to have/enjoy/live life and have it in abundance! If you are struggling by an impaired perspective of marriage, you can ask God to renew your mind and ask Him to teach you how to get it right..

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God" - Romans 12:2


  1. My darling
    Thank God for your brainwash into believing only the best about marriage.
    I am so grateful to God for my absolute belief in the marriage of my dreams. I actually have to make an effort if I am going to think anything less about my marriage. Nothing can convince me otherwise. Popular opinion being the least of it...
    Indeed faith comes by hearing and association. Until we will get to t point where we are positively brainwashed with the water if the Word, we just might not believe and so might not have that dream marriage God intends for us to have...
    Probably my best post ever on your blog. You spoke my mind.

  2. This drips with so much wisdom and truth
    How can you have a good marriage if you don't even believe it is possible
    Thank God for believers in this institution as ordained by God.
    I truly rejoice with you that you too converted to a believer lol
    Loved this. Mentioned it in my latest post

    Mrs. D

  3. Thanks so much FAB E!! I thank God for the brainwash too! It is a wonderful thing to have that faith in marriage! May your marriage daily unfold to exceed the expectations of the marriage of your dreams in Jesus name xx
    @Mrs D, You are a star and I absolutely love what you're doing on your blog! You and E are examples that I draw strength and faith from! God bless your hime xx

  4. Wow! Thanks for this post....had a rough upbringing that I also use to think this too but trust SugarDaddy,he has surrounded me with great couples filled with His word & so much love & understanding sef. Yes o,we will all testify about the good marriage like E' has started IJN,Amen.

  5. Lol @ brainwash, na so o
    It's my first time here and i must confess, i'm hooked. Like E said, you spoke my mind and gave answers to some questions.
    Thank you darling!

    Where is the follow button biko@

  6. 1+ oo, where's the like button for this post?
    love love love it!
    dripping with truth as usual.
    I've learnt to just pray about my future marital life to the one who holds my future and faith it till it arrives..

  7. What I say is whenever one is scared, they should talk to people who have been married for a while and are still enjoying it. There are good marriages out there.

  8. @BlessedV, I am glad to hear of your testimony.. God is ever faithful and I agree with you that you will have an excellent marriage in Jesus name xx
    @Bukola, You are welcome!! I am grateful to you for stopping by and also commenting :-) I am even glad(der) that you were blessed by the post.. I will look for the follow button.. I didn't realise it wasn't there! Thanks hun xx
    @Frances, Thanks dear! May God surpass your expectations in Jesus name xx
    @ilola, You are very right So many good marriages - even in Hollywood! I was reading Frances Rivers' blog yesterday and she gave a long list of celebrity couples who have been married fo donkey years! There are very good marriages out there and in here! xx

  9. Can I get an amen in here?! Can I add something, biko? What I love about God is this: when you say "I do" to His will you're helplessly in His court and He is bound to change your life for the better, whether you like it or not. It's also a promise that He is bound to fulfill when He said "Follow me."

    His blessings come with a lifetime warranty, my sister! And the brainwash? Mcheww, He'll do it every now and then because you belong to him now.

    This post pumped me up. Thanks for sharing! :)

  10. AMEN!
    Love your comment! Thanks a lot for adding to the post! With God, you can never get it wrong! xx

  11. AMEN!
    Love your comment! Thanks a lot for adding to the post! With God, you can never get it wrong! xx

  12. I see examples of failed marriages every morning i wake scares me and has affected my relationship with people, but i'm encouraged to lean on God.....i'll tell myself every morning that there is good in getting married...Lord i look to you for a perfect healing and renewal of my mind

  13. Amen! He will dear. He's done it for me and I look forward to the prospect of marriage. I am excited about having a joyous, blessed and fruitful relationship with my husband and family by God's grace :-) xx

  14. ... May He give you an exceedingly great marriage in Jesus name xx

  15. Hello dear, I wanted to share sharing buttons on here?

    1. My dear, unfortunately no sharing buttion yet but working on it.. Thanks a lot hun xx


You know you want to say something :-)