Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Help, I want to exit the Friend zone!

So, I have spoken to a number of Christian guys who have been or at the danger of being confined to the 'friend zone' by a girl that they really like..

Now I have a few bones to pick with some Christian 'bro' and the way they go about asking a girl out.. (post for another day) Sometimes, they are so 'spiritual', it's unreal! Like, guy be a bit natural....

Now, about the friend zone bit, first I must say that being in this 'friend zone' doesn't always mean doom and gloom because some girls are emotional creatures, we can sometimes translate from good friend to boy-friend. HOWEVER, as a guy, you have to know how to ensure that you don't fall into everlasting friendship forever and ever amen!

Let her know that you want more than friendship - don't hide that fact or try to play cool about it + don't be too pushy either.. You do this so she never says to you "You never said anything, I thought we were just friends!".. Even if you have said it before, make sure she knows that that hasn't changed on your part.

Don't encourage 'funny' questions like "how are the babes?" That's ridiculous, if she knows you like her, don't encourage her to ask that.. She may want to in order to show that she wants you to date other people but be resolute but soft in your pursuit.. That is "I want you, you and no one else."
HOWEVER, don't ever let her believe that it's her or no other because the truth is that even if she says no, you will still meet a FANTASTIC woman who would be great for you and it will be her loss cause you're a great guy.. (after the initial heart-wrench lol)
Girls like a little competition. You don't really value something if you feel that it will ALWAYS be there or that you are the only option.

Sometimes, maintain your distance.. Don't ever drop off her horizon but be a bit 'away' (you can use that time to pray and pray).. Because ultimately, God has to move.

The thing is that you are her good friend and she will miss that.. She has to be able to miss you once in a while.... honestly

But don't ever let her doubt that you care deeply about her. That's important

PLUS, don't be afraid to be a bit romantic :-D The truth is there is the spiritual part which informs the physical, but there's also the part that Songs of Solomon talks about. Of course, there's only a limit to what you can do now cause she hasn't exactly given a YES but be subtle, and woo her! Pay her compliments.. just drop it in conversation - not just her physical beauty but her good qualities.. Men are moved by sight, women by words.. Tell her that you appreciate her.. even little things like "well done, good job!", "you did that so well", "You are very thoughtful or you're very kind"..

Be sincere about it and mean it.. She will always appreciate you for that.

What else???

Yeah, in summary (as per last paragraph), pray like there's no other option and only God will melt her heart and bring the romance alive and then woo her like you are both 2 people that met, you like her, you desire to be with her and you want to make it work and you pull out all the stops to make her see that she's missing a treat if she's not with you! lol

Imagine how Rachel felt when she saw Jacob working day and night for her for SEVEN + SEVEN years! Even if her heart were hardened, it would have begun to thaw lol

Hope that helps?


  1. I really don't find it funny when Christian brothers are boring. As in it is really annoying when they don't act natural as if Abraham wasn't romantic with Sarah or Jacob or even Joseph with Mary. I think there should be a teaching on that. Probably that's the reason the girl wants to the Christian brother in the friend zone cuz he hasn't stepped up yet.
    Plus why are we easily attracted to or crush on 'worldly' brothers and not Christian brothers?

  2. Nice post. So guys, please step it up a notch :)

  3. @Ms J.S Bass - It's mega annoying lol.. I guess you answered your last question.. it's easier to be attracted to non-Christians cause sometimes they tend to be more natural in their approach without the cloak of over-spirituality!
    (Maybe I need to write another post of how to woo a 'sister' lol)

    @Toinlicious - Preach Toin! We need them to step it up beyond a notch! lol.. I refused to be dulled biko :-D xx

  4. @Miss J.S Bass, Pastor Bimbo Oduokoya used to advocate and teach a lot on how Christian 'bros' can be romantic..
    I used to think it all had to be 'thou said', 'I receive' et al but she 'opened' my eyes on the need for physical attraction in addition to spiritual compatibility....

    Just like Paul said in 3John 2 - I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health even as thy soul prospereth - Physical and spiritual importance all the way mehn!! xx

  5. @OneplusTheOne: Looking forward to reading the post and also sharing with friends. Thanks and God bless you

  6. Me I hate 2 feel like I'm competing oo!!!loool!!
    I've never really liked a christian 'brother' dey can be very boring n 'safe'....I HATE boring!!

  7. Lol @Sayedero.. Healthy competition is... healthy lol.. Not the kind of everalasting competition oh! It's sometimes good to know that you're with someone that other people want.. If not, I'll be a little wary (but I say that very carefully)..
    I don't want an active competition oh lol... I want to be secure that he is with me and only me (bet for that brother who is not yet in the relationship with his 'friend', it is nice to see another 'sister' smiling in his direction, vice versa for ladies as well)

  8. Lol @ GDP of Burma.. Hahahahahahahahaha...
    All these your rules don't work o. If you want to exit the friend zone, carry the sister and kiss her. She will come back and tell you what to do.

    That is what I believe o and it has worked.
    If the christian brothers are boring, it is because sometimes they are trying to live up to your expectations of them. At least that is what it seems like. Truth or dare works some of that out

  9. LOL.. SNM, I have missed you! (your updates don't come on my blogroll :-(
    So that's the solution ey? How about girls who dunt want to kiss before the ring?

    Some of the Christian brothers I know cannot even spell "spin.." not to talk of 'the bottle' lol


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