Monday, 13 April 2009

Random + Laying it Bare


- I am all tied up with my final project (Not finding it funny, can't wait for it to be ALL OVER!!)
- But I still have time for blog rounds and facebook :-) Maybe I should quit..the latter.
- I have discovered some new blog *treasures* (You guys are bad for my academic life... but I love you really, lol) - Ms FlyHigh, AnotherShot, Buttercup, Just...Toluwa

And yeah, I got this write-up (with permission) to share...It makes a lot of sense...enjoy!

‘Then the Lord answered me and said:
“Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it” Habakkuk 2v3 (NKJV)

It’s funny how we make extensive and comprehensive preparations for many things in our lives: choice schools we want to attend, career we want to pursue, houses we want to live in, our dream cars and so on but we often fail to plan properly for one of the most important stages in our lives: Marriage.

Most people know they want to get married one day, that’s part of the success in life but unfortunately for many the only detail they have of the institution is that they want; a good spouse, a very good marriage and very very good children.

It’s important to understand that marriage itself is ordained by God and only Him can sustain a good marriage, but it is also important as individuals to prepare and make plans for it. The person one chooses to spend the better part of his or her life with is very important and instrumental to having a successful relationship hence a big emphasis on choosing the right partner. We often wait for the ideal man or woman to come our way but the question is “Who is your ideal partner?” Would you be able to identify him/her if they came knocking on your door? I know many people would be quick to say a resounding yes but let’s hold on for one minute and think “How?”

It’s easy to assume that you would know when they come but unfortunately, reality is always not as easy as it seems. Let’s take for example buying your dream car. Would you say “I would know immediately I saw it that that’s the one”?. The guess is probably not. The reason being, first and foremost, before you have a “dream” car, you must have been thinking about it for a while. You must have made your judgement based on many criteria, how it fits your lifestyle, brand, colour, something you would be fully proud of, to mention a few. For those who are even more passionate, it doesn’t end there, you take a step further in investigating its potential, comparing its performance with other brands, life span, engine capacity, fuel gauge, year it was manufactured; basically the stuff it’s made of. You don’t walk into an automobile shop saying I want a good car and drive off with the first one that the dealer presents to you.

If one can plan so extensively for a car, then it is not too hard to come to the conclusion that one’s life partner should involve even more precision. If it helps, “write down the vision”.
Put in writing the qualities you want in a partner, including both the important – relationship with God, good hygiene, and the trivial- food preference, handling of the toothpaste.. Write it out in scale of preference, that is, from most important to least important. Your list may be unique to you because what is important to you may not be to another person but then remember it’s your relationship not any others’.

A lot of people are against having a “list” arguing that it makes one too choosy but then let’s analyse its importance. First of all, “What if you are particular about the person whom you choose to give yourself to as long as you both shall live?” You as an individual are priceless; God makes us to understand in His word that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and the “apple of His eyes”. You are so important and worthy, He sent His only son to die for you. Furthermore, even physically, your mother paid a high price of birth pain to bring you forth so why would you not settle for anything but the best? You are worth it!

Secondly I would rather regard it as being prepared rather than being choosy. Knowing what you want makes it easy to identify the person. If you know what you are looking for, you wouldn’t need to go through the rigours of “trial and error” before meeting them as you are armed with enough information. It also helps to prevent heart-ache and heart break as you don’t wait to be in an emotionally-involved relationship before finding out if he/she is ideal. Not every Tom, Dick or Harry would have access to your heart.

Finally it makes you more focused. You have a goal and a vision and you are “running with it”. You are able to pray consistently and specifically about the qualities you desire and you have even more clarity on what is important and what is not, what you can do without and what is essential.

It is important to note that for some people, “writing the vision” may become an obsessive task and if not done prayerfully and with wisdom may become just a fantasy. Remember that you are going to marry a human being; flesh and blood. Someone, who like you is not perfect, therefore make allowances for them to fall short sometimes. Nevertheless, ensure that they don’t fall short of those fundamental things you cannot live without for the rest of your life not just a short period. Also, be open to direction from God at all times, never go at it alone. If you are willing He is. He would bless you with only the best.

Go on…….Write the Vision!


  1. Bless you my dear :-)

    Thanks for calling me a Blog 'treasure' your a blog 'diamond'.

    Writing the vision down boo actuallyu told me to do this. I started then stopped but I will surely take your advice hun. Marriage is an important issue that we at times take to lightly , right now I'm THINKING alot.

    Hope your own relationship is going well hun :-)

  2. Thanks! Yeah it's going well, finally getting to some middle ground without the disagreements and drama :-)
    Read your post, hope yours is good as well... it would only get better xxxx

  3. Yes mam ...we are in a place of wonders right now lol

    gd to hear it's going well (",)


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