This is IT!

This weekend, I had so many many discussions about marriage and relationships which was largely coincidental! lol

But I am glad cause I learnt a whole lot.. Many new things (In relationships, one keeps on learning).

So I was speaking to a couple very dear to me and I asked both of them what the deciding factor was for each of them when they chose to say I do to the other. (That is in addition to other factors like love etc etc)



For the lady - The fact that she could talk to him and feel that she could just be herself with. Someone she could share her most intimate thoughts with and still feel very comfortable about it.

For the man - Loyalty. He said, for him as a man, it was important to know that you could have a woman by you who is ready to stand by you through the good and the bad. Someone who is always on your camp, someone who keeps believing in you and is happy to ride the storms out with you. Someone who doesn't just throw in the towel at the sniff of bad times.

Hmmmm.. I like to ask this question, what would be the deciding factor for you? Can you identify with the answers above?

If you are married what made you think "Yes this is it!"?

May God help us to make the right decisions in marriage xxxx

Welcome to Lagos

For many 'returnees' to the Motherland, there are many 'Welcome to Lagos' moments.



Those things that you know probably 'hardly' (debatable as they do happen in other places but I guess not as blatantly as it's done in the city of Lagos!).

Honestly, Nigeria is a wonderful place and Lagos an even more fascinating city.

Many unique things about Lagos:
- If you can survive driving here, you can drive anywhere - Possibly give a Formula 1 professional a run for his/her money!)
- It's a city that makes you 'generous' whether by social conscience or by force.. You have to tip anyhow and anywhere... Tip the security man, tip the driver, tip the corn seller, tip the man who smiles and greets you when you come into work et al.
- Prices have magic power.. So your neighbour may drive in his Mercedes to buy corn by the road side and it will be sold to him for N500 - last price, while the magic takes over the price when you go to the exact same place by foot and you get the exact same shape, size and cooking time of corn for N150.. Yup magic can be real.

I could go on and on.. However let me tell you about a 'Welcome to Lagos' moment that I had recently..

So I was sitting at my desk, busy typing (or blog-hopping, can't remember - mehn, a break is needed to 'refresh' the brain once in a while).. When one guy comes in and says to me that his boss aka oga wants to see me.. Because my line manager is also his boss, I thought he was referring to her.

That's how I went down to the said office and 'oga' says please have a seat. So there I was 'having my seat', patiently waiting for my line manager to turn up and 'oga' starts having conversation and asking questions and all that. He eventually cuts to the chase and started his spiel about wanting to go out after work for a drink etc....

Holdddd on!

In our initial conversation, he had told me how much of a Christian he is and how he could pray about anything (emphasis his not mine) on this earth and it would come to pass. On his left finger was a very thick and shiny gold band! On his screensaver was the picture of his daughter! Someone had just come in to ask about his WIFE and daughter and he replied without flinching that they were fine! He had just had the audacity to 'summon' me (without me knowing) from my desk to walk a whole floor, lift not working (part of his responsibility by the way), so I'm talking about a flight of stairs in the heat (no light in the building at that time either - yup, you guessed right, his responsibility as well!)

 ..... So wife and kid in tow, very visible and well displayed and this man tells me that 'you're a beautiful girl you know', let's go out for a 'drink' after work.... Welcome to Lagos!

Unfaithful

I've been naughty...

I haven't even stopped by here for a minute to update and all that (LOL, Don't worry, nothing tooo drastic!)

So as my last post stated, I started a new job and it is taking a huge chunk of my time but the great thing is that I loveeeee it! :-) And I am so grateful to God for this wonderful opportunity and for His grace and favour. For all those praying for a job and for fulfillment in a job, may God grant you your heart's desires.

How have you all been? As you may be aware, this is not a very serious post! lol

Just random randomer and randomest..

Ok, so what's new in your life?

I need a car (so please add that to your private prayer requests on my behalf, thank you very much ..... But before then, I desperately need driving lessons :-) - That's filed under things to desperately do!

Honestly Lagos without a car is just not quite complete! Lord have mercy!

In other news, guess what?? You will never be able to guess! No, try guessing! Again.. again... again..

Yup, I thought as much, wrong!

Are you ready for the answer? Wait for this!

I have been unfaithful at blogging *straight face*

*I did tell you it was an extremely random post hehehe

Happy Friday peeps! *mwah*

Dear Daddy

My darling Daddy!

The best Daddy in the whole world! The no 1 Daddy. The Greatest of the Greatest!

Oh you make me smile (in many languages too lol)..

Thank You Daddy for making my life so beautiful. For the blessings of life, family, loved ones, great friends, good health, sound mind, boldness, opportunities, undeserved blessings.... I could go on and on and even then it wouldn't be enough!

King of my heart, I bless your name! Chai, you make me heart go tinini tonono.. I love You.

Daddy, may my life put a smile on your face always. May my life give You pleasure. May you be filled with pride whenever you consider me.

Thank You for loving me through my unfaithfulness and my mess. Thank You for showing me what unconditional love means on a daily basis.

Thank You for my new job! I loveee it! (Yes people, God is good! lol). Thank You for making ways for me in different ways throughout this week.

Thank You for being You -- Good, Loving, Kind, Compassionate, Forgiving, Generous, Benevolent, Gracious, Understanding, Faithful, Beautiful, Forgiving.

This weekend Lord, give me gist to bring back next week (and please make me faithful in blogging about it lol!).

And also Daddy, please give each person reading this something GOOD to sing about in every area of their lives.

And for those who do not know what it means to call you Daddy, please give them that insight, that knowledge, the freedom to know the truth.

I love you now and for eternity to come.

Your forever girl,
One xx

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I love You soo much, You remain and will always be my no 1.

As I close this lovely chapter of my life, I must say that I am thankful to You for the way You orchestrated this just concluded chapter (it could only have been You! My Master planner - better than 1,000,000 'James Bonds' lol, iKid) and I am very excited for what this new phase holds! Yippeeeeee lol

I can never say it enough, I truly appreciate You. You are too good to me and I am grateful from now till eternity.

Can't wait to meet with my other siblings on Sunday as we hang out together all for Your sake - excited.com lol

Have a beautiful weekend Daddy, may I give You immense pleasure in all that I do.

PS, give me enough good stuff this weekend to blog about next week :-D

Love You!

Your forever girl,
One xx

Finding closure

Hiya everyone,

How are you doing?! Hope you all had a great weekend?

So as I was doing my (almost) daily blog hop, I read this POST on GNG's blog about finding closure and it's my inspiration for today's post.

Just as I commented on the post, I am one of those people who believe in finding closure after the end of a relationship. I have been in 3 formal relationships and 1 informal 'relationship' (ask google).. and after the end of the relationships, whether immediately or years down the line, I have always wanted to have that 'closure' talk with the individual.

Has it always helped? Not really.. To be honest, some have given me some insight into what could have been better, enabled me to learn one or two things, opened my eyes and ears to things I probably would rather have not seen / heard and others have still  left me not understanding any better lol.

With my last relationship, this wasn't the case, I felt that we never had the opportunity to say a proper goodbye or end the relationship well. It doesn't help that in my mind I have analysed and crossed analysed the brief timeline of the relationship to try to fully understand what could have gone amiss and on many fronts, I come up with the result - inconclusive.

I have desired to speak to him, to ask questions (with the fear that I may hear what I am not prepared to hear et al at the fore) but it has proven to be futile.

I was discussing with my (very wise) sister and she told me in plain terms a truth that I pray to God to practice - You can't depend on the next person to give you that closure, that peace, that closed chapter. In an ideal world, it would be great but sometimes it doesn't happen. What do you do then? Keep your life on hold? Wait and wait? Nope! You have to find a way - somehow - without the individual and by the grace of God. Interestingly, GNG's post shared a similar sentiment.

So, ladies and gentlemen, after 1 year and 3months, I am taking GNG's advice and writing a long letter to him in the next post (that will not be posted to him lol) and then handing it all to God and moving on..

Alas - closure (so help me God!)



So tell me, in your own way, how do you find closure? xx

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

It's a very short one the Lover of my Soul.

I love YOUUUU!!!!!!!

I look forward to a great weekend with You.

Your forever girl,

One xxxx

Wow!!! I'm his helper (4)

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you” John 14:26

Ladies! Do you realise that the bible refers to you as a HELPER (Genesis 2:18). Your responsibility to your husband is likened to that of the Holy Spirit to us – isn't that amazing and humbling? You have a very special position and role in your husband’s life and destiny. Please don’t let self, society and fear stop you from fulfilling this God-given role.

Today, I continue to explore the unique privilege of being my husband's helper. You can read the first part HERE the 2nd part HERE and the 3rd part HERE

No 4 - To intercede – Romans 8 – 26 – 27

Now, before I go on, I would love to recommend a book by Stormie Omartian. You probably have heard about it – The Power of a Praying Woman series. If possible, please read all the books in the series, particularly The Power of a Praying Wife. There are some amazing eye-openers to the effective and fervent prayer of a wife for her husband.

It also includes a prayer theme to guide you in the areas that you can pray for your man. I recommend it again and again.

As my beloved’s helper, I have the huge responsibility of praying for him and with him.

One of the best and most effective love languages is prayer (thanks Mr Gary Chapman). There are so many areas and things that we can ‘change’ using the soft but dynamic power of prayer.

I pray with all my heart to be a helper who depends heavily on the power of prayer rather than the (in)effectiveness of my mouth aka nagging, frowning, silent treatment, crying lol – God help moi!

God, I don’t know why You gave women this huge responsibility, however, I know that in your wisdom, you chose the most suitable vessel. I thank You Daddy because when You give a task, You always give the grace and sufficient resource to carry it through, thank You for being our greatest Helper of all. Thank You for making me woman, a Helper to my man.

Wow!!! I am his helper (3)

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you” John 14:26

Ladies! Do you realise that the bible refers to you as a HELPER (Genesis 2:18). Your responsibility to your husband is likened to that of the Holy Spirit to us – isn't that amazing and humbling? You have a very special position and role in your husband’s life and destiny. Please don’t let self, society and fear stop you from fulfilling this God-given role.

Today, I continue to explore the unique privilege of being my husband's helper. You can read the first part HERE and the 2nd part HERE

No 3 - To Teach – John 14:26

I am very grateful to God that I love teaching lol, in fact my childhood dream was to be a great teacher (I still have that dream) – I guess I was born to be an excellent helper *wink wink* J

I’m sure you will agree with me that a teacher has an immense privilege indeed. A teacher moulds and shapes destiny. In fact, a teacher has the power to unlock the potential in another individual.

The truth is that there are teachers and there are TEACHERS. When you ask an individual to list people who have influenced or inspired them, usually a school teacher’s name is on the list. Some people still remember the name of that teacher who told them they could do it and efficiently made the experience of learning a joy. As I write, some names are jumping to my mind and I smile fondly when I remember the impact that some great teachers (both formal and informal made in my life).

I am thankful to God for giving me the wonderful opportunity of impacting my husband's life in an unforgettable way as his wife and designated helper.

They are many qualities that make up a great teacher that I possibly would not be able to fully explore in today’s post, however I will list some. A great teacher is passionate about developing the individual, a great teacher is interested in being able to see the difference they are making in the life of the individual, a great teacher is very patient and doesn't mind going over the same thing over and over again with a healthy dose of long-suffering until their mission is achieved, a great teacher doesn't let the individual feel bad even when they make mistakes, a great teacher does her homework and prepares herself properly so that she is giving the best to the individual, a great teacher leads sometimes without pushing it in the individual’s face that “I am responsible for your success”, a great teacher is an encourager, a great teacher inspires…. I could go on and on and on (and I encourage you to think of some of the great qualities of a great teacher!)

As my husband's helper, I hope to fulfill this very key role in his life, to prepare myself enough by God’s grace to inspire him, to leave an indelible mark in his life, to influence him greatly, to be able to identify his potential and unlock it through a variety of ways (prayer will sure be an indispensable weapon) in the most humble of ways.

Wow, I need super-human powers! Well, thank God I can run to the ultimate Helper for help.. And run to Him, I will! In fact, I intend to make Him my dwelling place. *singing* “There’s something that makes me run into your presence.. My Helper”

Wow! I am his helper (2)

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you” John 14:26

Ladies! Do you realise that the bible refers to you as a HELPER (Genesis 2:18). Your responsibility to your husband is likened to that of the Holy Spirit to us – isn't that amazing and humbling? You have a very special position and role in your husband’s life and destiny. Please don’t let self, society and fear stop you from fulfilling this God-given role.

Today, I continue to explore the unique privilege of being my husband's helper. You can read the first part HERE

No 2 - To understand the Mind of God / The revealer of God’s word– 1 Corinthians 2: 10 – 11

I desire to marry a man who can be the spiritual leader in our home as the bible states that the man is the head of the home.

However, as my beloved’s helper, I look forward to supporting him by the grace of God to developing deeper, his knowledge of our God through the study of His word – the Bible.

I will not wait for him to do all the studying and reading and stand by for him to pour out, but I hope to be on hand to study with him, discover with him, and encourage him with words from scripture.

I know there will be times when he may feel discouraged or simply bogged down by work or the busy-ness of life as we all do sometimes, but I hope to encourage him at times like that to pick a word, listen to an inspiring sermon, drop little bible verse love notes in his work-bag so that he is constantly surrounded and reminded of God’s word. I believe that when the tables are turned and I feel bogged down, he would do so and much more for me. That’s the beauty of two rather than one - so that when one is down, the other can lift him / her up and vice versa.

In addition, I know how huge a responsibility it is to be the head! – having to make both big and small decisions for people that you love dearly and will be held accountable for (The pressure! Better him than me lol). My darling would need to inquire from God, to know the mind of God concerning the matter, constantly and consistently so as to make the best decisions.

It will be an honour to pray along with him, support him on my knees as I recognise that my prayers - a covering over him - are precious.

Oh ultimate Helper, in order to fulfill this great and humbling privilege, I will never neglect to seek (desperately) your most invaluable help.