Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Welcome to Lagos

For many 'returnees' to the Motherland, there are many 'Welcome to Lagos' moments.

Those things that you know probably 'hardly' (debatable as they do happen in other places but I guess not as blatantly as it's done in the city of Lagos!).

Honestly, Nigeria is a wonderful place and Lagos an even more fascinating city.

Many unique things about Lagos:
- If you can survive driving here, you can drive anywhere - Possibly give a Formula 1 professional a run for his/her money!)
- It's a city that makes you 'generous' whether by social conscience or by force.. You have to tip anyhow and anywhere... Tip the security man, tip the driver, tip the corn seller, tip the man who smiles and greets you when you come into work et al.
- Prices have magic power.. So your neighbour may drive in his Mercedes to buy corn by the road side and it will be sold to him for N500 - last price, while the magic takes over the price when you go to the exact same place by foot and you get the exact same shape, size and cooking time of corn for N150.. Yup magic can be real.

I could go on and on.. However let me tell you about a 'Welcome to Lagos' moment that I had recently..

So I was sitting at my desk, busy typing (or blog-hopping, can't remember - mehn, a break is needed to 'refresh' the brain once in a while).. When one guy comes in and says to me that his boss aka oga wants to see me.. Because my line manager is also his boss, I thought he was referring to her.

That's how I went down to the said office and 'oga' says please have a seat. So there I was 'having my seat', patiently waiting for my line manager to turn up and 'oga' starts having conversation and asking questions and all that. He eventually cuts to the chase and started his spiel about wanting to go out after work for a drink etc....

Holdddd on!

In our initial conversation, he had told me how much of a Christian he is and how he could pray about anything (emphasis his not mine) on this earth and it would come to pass. On his left finger was a very thick and shiny gold band! On his screensaver was the picture of his daughter! Someone had just come in to ask about his WIFE and daughter and he replied without flinching that they were fine! He had just had the audacity to 'summon' me (without me knowing) from my desk to walk a whole floor, lift not working (part of his responsibility by the way), so I'm talking about a flight of stairs in the heat (no light in the building at that time either - yup, you guessed right, his responsibility as well!)

 ..... So wife and kid in tow, very visible and well displayed and this man tells me that 'you're a beautiful girl you know', let's go out for a 'drink' after work.... Welcome to Lagos!


  1. In the workplace sef?? :( Nigerian men make a complete mockery of the institution of marriage. The tales I could tell of married men hitting on me ehn?! It is well.

  2. It is well.. It is so amazing, it's funny!
    Thanks for stopping by Young Grumbler xx

  3. Am short of words ...anyways, I have had cases of married woman who have been unfaithful in my office as well. I blogged about 2 of such.

    I am glad you didn't allow the "agbaya" spoil your testimony jare....

  4. I am shocked. Did he assume you didn't know or that you knew and would readily comply? People like this give christian men a very bad name. But you know what, men who want to cheat will do so using any means possible.

    This prayer one is a new one to me sha ... I wish more women were like you and would turn them down.

  5. @Sykik, I don't even know what to say.. The boldness with which they do it is what is amazing.. Like bros fear God plix

    @RB, It wasn't like he was hiding it.. God help us oh!

  6. if this wasn't such a growing and increasingly concerning issue in Nigeria it will be funny. Unfortunately some other girls would have taken up the opportunity to be wined and dined..... I'm also worried about his unseemingly blase attitude at you knowing he was married and not trying to hide it but still willing to ask you out.....
    i'm curious to know how you responded to him!

  7. still a very funny situation though.....:)

  8. It's the "what's the big deal" attitude that slays me. Like, they expect you to just comply. Error. I tell em "no" point blank. Nonsense. Mshew

  9. But he only asked for drinks now LOL maybe it was to further evangelize to you abi?

  10. @anonymous, in fact blase is putting it mildly.. More like it wasn't something he thought to 'consider'.. Mehn, I told him I don't have time for going out - work - church -spend time with family - work lol
    @ Anonymous2, On retrospect, it was sadly humorous.. I think it was so ridiculous, it was laughable!
    @Toinlicious, I know! And you can imagine, I have to be polite to him since we work in the same building lol..
    @fluffycutething, LOL... Please he should 'allow' that kind of evangelism.. Let him go and minister to his wife and kids!

  11. Oh my!! The sad thing about all of this is his wife and how she has no idea.

  12. Very sad... In some cases though the wife knows and just doesn't know what to do or how to handle it so just sits back and 'manage'.. That's even sadder..

  13. Omg! Same thing happened to me...he was married with children o...abaya oshi! Lool and hell be reading his bible every morning ...He even deleted me off bbm sef

  14. Oh dear! Sayadero, you always have 'interesting' encounters! lol xxxx

  15. I'd add "if you can take public transport anywhere around lagos" you've truly acclimated.

    As for that "oga" of yours. I'm willing to bet he has never been corrected and that is why he sees nothing wrong with his actions. My wife has had too many similar experiences. One that even got violent. I'm going to get her to write about one of them.

  16. @Naijahusband... Yes oh, but I am praying not to acclamatise that much lol.. The danfo drivers are not smiling at all!
    Please tell her to share! I would love to read about it!
    Your blog is too much! #Loveit xx


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