Friday, 1 August 2008

Let's Get Married

Is it me or does it seem like everyone around me is in such a hurry to be "hooked"??! Either by marriage or just as partners, it doesn't really matter, the main point is that they have someone to call their own... It baffles me sometimes to realise that in the face of feminism, liberation and the sorts, the expectancy rate hasn't fallen, if possible it has risen and continues to do so. Nowadays, a young girl of 12 wants a "serious" relationship. Infact I have seen a few 4/5 year olds introducing their "boyfriend/girlfriend" to their parents (I find this pretty amusing, lol). But really though, what's the rush? Why are people in such a hurry to be coupled up? Are people getting quite bored with themselves? Is it no longer fun to hang out with good friends and family? Where's all the pressure coming from?

I do not speak as a stranger to these pressure to be "hooked", on the contrary I was a bonafide member of the "I want to get married or be in a good/serious relationship" society. I remember growing up as a christian, I didn't believe in random relationships, what we in secondary school used to term as "going out", I just felt it was a good waste of time! Nevertheless I was fanatical about romance. Oh I loved -scratch that - ADORED the act and process of falling in love. I was (and still am) a chocolate, flowers, candlelit dinners, surprise gesture kinda person (hehee) but I was prepared to wait for the right person.

I don't know when the change happened but I started to long after having a great relationship of my own. I tried to look for the "ideal" candidate and believed the rest would follow (according to those darn romance books -sorry to bust your bubbles ladies, there's only an element of truth in those stories, it's not all Cinderella and the Prince in real life! :-) Funny thing was no one was putting any pressure on me, just MOI, ME, MYSELF and I! Yes, my friends had an influence and yes the romance books and movies didn't help either but I made the decision myself to be anxious about it! I planned my love life out - How I wanted to meet Mr Right, what circumstance, how long we would "go out" for and what age I would get married (I am just hilarious!!!) Erhmmm, suffice to say it didn't quite work out that way, lol and then I began to obsess about it ( I am just like that hahaha). Funny thing is if you are looking for something to happen so much, there's a high possibilty that you would make mistakes or rush into stuff or worse, settle for less!

Thank God for His grace, there's nothing like the way God makes you feel to boost your self-esteem, for me that has always been a strong and unfailing anchor. I realise that I cannot settle for just anything because God has BIG plans for me and oh no I'm I ready to jeopardise that because I want to "fall in love". I have decided to stop chasing after what would eventually chase me in God's own time, it's not easy but the end result is more than worth the wait! Instead, I focus more on developing and building relationships with my friends and family, I learn to enjoy my own company, my alone time. I learn to love hanging out with my friends, doing things together (I thank God that I have amazing and wonderful friends!)

It's important to find yourself before committing yourself into a serious relationship, stop trying to look for yourself in someone else, you won't find YOU instead you would get lost even deeper! Whilst you keep yourself busy making friends and having fun, you would not be so focused on finding THE ONE. When he comes, he would do all the chasing and not the other way round >(Don't be fooled, men love the thrill of the chase, what's the point of keeping something that you got sooo easy?). He would wine and dine you..... Perhaps that romantic fantasy would be reality after all *wink wink* lol

God bless! xxxx

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