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Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Don't Worry it's YOU he chose....

Lucky you?!
You know I have heard this phrase so much it’s becoming old and irritating. It’s used to excuse cheating partners and husbands, tolerate bad behaviour and accept nuisances.

“Don’t worry, at least it’s you he chose”..

Perhaps, I don’t really understand the meaning of that sentence fully. Yes, I know that the man finds the wife as stated in the bible that “when a man FINDS a wife, he finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord”. Actually, it is a thing of pride and of joy to be ‘found’ but many people have used and abused that syndrome.

When a man is cheating on his girlfriend or wife, people are quick to ‘reassure’ her that “don’t worry it’s you he chose”.

When a man is not providing for her as he ought to, she is quickly reminded “don’t worry it’s you he chose”.

When he is grossly misbehaving, it is made known to her “don’t worry it’s you he chose”

The worst part is when he misbehaves and he starts to tell you that “don’t worry love, the other girls don’t matter,  it’s you I chose!”

So he ‘chose’ you ey?  Did you not ‘choose’ to accept?

Many times, some women are led to believe that the man is doing you a favour by being with you or that he has bestowed upon you an honour by making you his wife/girlfriend. Yes, I do agree that it is honourable to be ‘wifed’ to a GOOD man, emphasis on good. It is pleasant, it is beautiful, it is indeed a blessing. The bible did say that two is better than one; that if 1 can put a thousand to flight, then 2, ten thousand. You have a covering, you have a shepherd, you have a companion, you have a lover, you have a partner in life. It’s no longer a solo journey in life; you now have a friend to go through it with, you have a confidant and you have someone to share both the burdens that life sometimes bring and celebrate the joys of different days.

I know that sometimes societal pressure mostly on ladies make some guys feel that when it comes to marriage they have the advantage. Also, statistics don’t help matters either as it is said that there are twice the number of women in this world than there are men, hence it seems like men are ‘scarce’ resources.  Nevertheless, it is important that you are not made to feel that he is doing you some kind of favour by being with you.

Isn’t it interesting that the bible says that it’s the man who finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord when he finds you. When you know your worth as a woman of God, it is difficult for any man to devalue your worth by making you feel that he is doing you some form of favour by being with you and that you should accept and excuse a lot of excesses because of that.

A good starting point is by renewing our mind, our thinking and the things we’ve been told and made to believe. We need to keep reminding ourselves and speaking it if possible “I am a good thing, any man that finds me will definitely find favour with God, I am a blessing to any man that finds me and that I agree to be with”.

We need to start believing what God says about us in His word. Don’t accept a half-baked relationship/proposal or marriage.

If you are currently with someone who doesn’t appreciate you or treat you in the wonderful way you ought to be treated then it’s time to boldly exit the scene and wait for someone who knows how to identify a treasure and handle it. When you carry a teething child and give he/she your diamonds, they will put it straight into their mouths as if it were a pacifier. This is because they do not recognise its value, to them, it’s just another toy or instrument to relieve their discomfort. On the other hand, when you give that diamond to a grown man or woman, they will treat it with the utmost care and handle it delicately. We need to stop being in relationships with toddlers and start talking to grown men who know the value of a good thing and can appreciate it.

Yes, he chose you, but in choosing you lady, he chose a good thing and by choosing you, his life just became better! Know it, thank God for it and take pride in it!







20 comments:

  1. word
    word
    word
    single and married women listen
    and listen good
    am so following you

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  2. Thanks J *Big Hug*..
    Welcome,tis nice to have you on my blog... xx

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  3. You are so right. It's always so heartbreaking to see a woman settle for a man who doesn't appreciate her or know her worth all for the fear of being alone or stigmatised by societal expectations.
    I truly love and respect my single friends who are just getting on with life - they've had enough of holding their breath hoping the right man will come along. They know he will, so they're just enjoying their singleness to the max.

    God help the man that will tell me to be grateful because he chose me *kmt*

    Www.msluffa.word press.com

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  4. You are so right. It's always so heartbreaking to see a woman settle for a man who doesn't appreciate her or know her worth all for the fear of being alone or stigmatised by societal expectations.
    I truly love and respect my single friends who are just getting on with life - they've had enough of holding their breath hoping the right man will come along. They know he will, so they're just enjoying their singleness to the max.

    God help the man that will tell me to be grateful because he chose me *kmt*

    Www.msluffa.word press.com

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  5. LOL.. God help the man indeed..
    I respect that in single ladies as well.. I believe it's important to be comfortable with your status and ENJOY every stage of your life *2 thumbs up*

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  6. every word in this post is encouraging! thumbs up dear!

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  7. Nothing irks me like seeing women berated and undervalued by my fellow men!

    Talking to my younger sisters, I'm very concerned about the direction young women are taking. They seem to have no sense of worth or value. The guys know it and are increasingly taking advantage of it in a negative way.

    Women truly are a blessing and should be cherished. Guys need to wake up to that fact. Society needs to catch up too. Women need a fresh revelation of who they really are. They need to see themselves as God sees them.

    More importantly, men need to go back to the basics and humble themselves before God, Who will graciosuly grant the wisdom needed to love a woman the godly way. They are the role-models for the next generation.

    Whatever one generation does in moderation, the next generation does in excess and that is scary considering what is already happening today. It's a vicious circle.

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  8. @Watchman, brilliantly said, you will make a blessed lady one great hubby! :-)
    @Sis Yemmie, you're most welcome. Thanks for stopping by,welcome. *kisses*

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  9. Honestly! I am feeling this post. Women need to know that they deserve a lot more than they think

    Adiya
    http://thecornershopng.blogspot.com/

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  10. I really liked the part where you wrote, "Yes, he chose you, but in choosing you lady, he chose a good thing and by choosing you, his life just became better!"

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  11. Thanks darling Adiya and Jaycee xx

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  12. well written..

    u couldnt have said it any better.

    too much.

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  13. Thanks hun..
    Right back at ya! :-) xx

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  14. First I would like to apologise for just responding to your comment HotNigeriaNews..
    Thanks for stopping by my blog, I'm grateful for your comments and apologise for the silence xx

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  15. Thanks 1 + The One for this post.
    This has been a topic that I've been planning to write about but you have captured it for me. I am re-blogging it, I hope you don't mind. Thanks.

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  16. Thank you very much for your comment Damilola! Please feel very free to re-blog :-)
    + thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.. Going over to check your 'yard' too xx

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  17. drnsmusings.wordpress.com24 November 2013 at 16:00

    If it's me he chose why is he still available? Nice one!

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