Thursday, 22 January 2015

Conversations with One: How to Woo a Lady 101

Hello beautiful people, it's Thursday and we don't want the curtains to fall on the day without our weekly conversation!

A little introduction for first-timers:

Conversations with One is a chat-series on the blog.

Each week, the 1 + TheOne panel (made up of beloved and very wise friends with a variety of personalities) and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. We talk about any and every thing!!

Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

You can have a look at the last conversation where we discussed money issues in relationships. You can read it and other previous episodes HERE.

Now that we've gotten that, it's time for today's 'juicy' topic..

Word on the street is that our spirikoko brothers just don't know how to 'toast' a lady beyond "The Lord said..."

Why don't men make much of an effort anymore when they are wooing a lady?? I was having this discussion with 2 of my friends and we were like sadly some men have become lazy when trying to 'woo' a lady. What happened to the old days when a guy would send flowers, do nice gestures etc. Now, they want the prize without the work... Am I right or wrong?

Anyways, we want to help some brothers out {plus Valentine's Day is just round the corner #JustSaying :-)}

So today we discuss:

"How to Woo a Lady 101"
Picnic anyone?
Mr Motivation: I believe wooing is relative and can only be effective based on the preferences of the So how to woo a lady will depend on several things such as the woo-ee's love language, background, sentiments etc. So in order to do this, the woo-er must spend quality time in extracting these vital information. That being said, these basics can be applied and could prove effective at the early stages; things like, phone calls, Sweet early morning and late night texts, Hanging out at her favourite places and doing things that will make her friends envy her. Eg Opening the door for her, getting her simple treats for no official reason.
But I must say that in doing these, one must note the fact that at the heart of mastery lies consistency, so what you cannot continue with, DO NOT START.

One: Mr M! Thanks a lot! Great practical tips and I love the disclaimer at the end, lol. Consistency is really important! 'Start as you mean to go on'.

Something to always remember
Nubian Princess: Hmmmm.... Some of my guy friends in the office said they work from morning till very late at night, that they really can't be running all over looking for surprise. One of them said "she knows I love her, and I'm about to marry her, but all these romantic surprise things are done by men who don't have serious jobs" *Swoon* Another one said that the romantic things are done by men who want to waste time, that a serious man declares his intentions and wraps things up quickly... *Faint* Looool!

In my case, when Le Boo and I started dating, he said he's not into the whole surprise thing... In his words, "Babe, if you want me to get you something, please just tell me" and I was like "waaaattt????" Then we had a long 'discussion'... Loool! He's learning and he surprises me occasionally which is really sweet, but it's a skill he's acquiring because it's somewhat important to me, but it's not innate to him...

Conclusion in my opinion? People are different ooh... What Bisi will enjoy, you might not be lucky enough to enjoy in your own relationship so define what's really important to you, don't compare Bode to Tunde and have open communication lines... "Guy, you're not putting in any effort, how far?!" :D

One: I like how communication in relationships always has a way of slipping into our conversations - it's sooo important.. I wonder though, how about when you don't have the opportunity or you do not have the rapport yet with the person?

Mr John Nash: Interesting read Nubian... In my opinion I think one great way to woo a woman is to give her what she NEEDS when she is not EXPECTING it. Really important.

It could be a gift or your time and attention...
Another way which is something that works for me is to be a PROBLEM SOLVER. For instance, she's looking for a job, you help her through the recruitment process. She's studying for an exam you give her tips. Providing advice that leads to her goals.

Finally, WORDS! Saying the right things at the right time. Short text messages with meaning and purpose. Not the regular "you are beautiful" messages. Something deeper...

However you really need to understand who the girl is. Some girls love gifts, some love time, some love words, some love all of the above :-)

We thank God for elections falling on Valentine's Day in Nigeria this year. We should all spend time to pray for the country :-) :-) :-)

A considerate man who lends a helping hand gets the attention of many women - young or old
Nubian Princess: Looool @ Nash....
Please, we can pray for Nigeria over a candle-lit dinner somewhere...
Elections shall not be an excuse... :D :D :D

Miss Me: Loooll!Yup I totally agree, a candle-lit dinner will make prayers more efficient! :)

One: Hahaha.. Nice one Nash -Take out time to study the girl/lady in question + she must have friends, find out from them overtly or covertly what she likes and the kind of things that would make an impression on her... Get to work :-)

Miss Me: Right, you should do whatever you know your lady likes!! This also shows you're listening. If she likes flowers, please do get her them whether you think it's a waste of money or not. I think it's selfish to get only what you think is worth getting regardless of whether she likes it or not! If you're unsure, find out from people close to her. But then there are the old classics - surprise dinner, surprise gift for no particular occasion, random thoughtful texts like Nash has said! Usually you will know what a girl likes. We're usually upfront with it!

If she likes flowers, please get them whether you think it's a waste of money or not.. :-D
One: Are we really upfront? Ok maybe we are.. I think I am.. Lol...

Mr Agbalagbaski: Wooooooo... I agree different approaches matter and communication will help open it up.

Do you remember the days of ssiiiiiiii... Or loud kissing of lips to get her attention to invite her under the orange tree or 'Yemi my lover' paroles. lol

One: Smh-ing for you.. We know not of such things my friend! Lool (If you haven't seen the movie 'Yemi My Lover', you have missed a real treat! Haha

Mr Agbalagbaski: Lol.. Best way to woo:
Be her friend,
Listen to her
Then do it without her asking.
Make sure her friends are there when you do those things (extra points)


One: Interesting, I likey, I think being a good listener is a great way to earn points!

.... Ok, over to you lovely people. we haven't spoken a lot because I know that this is a topic that many men and ladies would have something to speak about.

Ladies, have you had any experiences you'd like to share? Please do! Guys, we want to hear from you too, what are simple but meaningful ways to woo a lady or get her attention or court her or 'ask her out'? Let's hear you! xx


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Please, be kind,  nominate 1 + The One blog HERE in the following categories:

No 7. Best Faith-based Blog
No 12: Best Inspiration, motivation or personal development Blog
No 12: Best Relationship Blog

Thank you beautiful people!! xx


  1. I have taken notes. I like the mix of difference in approach. Uhmm "Oluwa ran WA (men) lowo"
    Nice one Ayo, I think I'll prefer to pray for 9ja on Val's day over a dinner table lol @nubian princess

    1. Lol @ prayer.. Amen
      Yes, that's the way forward... We must be creative with romance haha

  2. **waves** Waddup mami....It's been a while....I am not sure I like the whole 'wooing' thingy......

    1. Waves rightback! *kisses*
      Mami, you have to explain more.. Why don't you like it? xx

  3. Not to forget cheesy Christian pick-up lines - a great way to wooi... ruining a potential relationship :D

    Okay seriously, like Tibs I have some doubts. If there is too much wooing, especially BEFORE a relationship has officially started, it can have a rather deceptive and confusing effect. If a woman does not like a man at first, but loves him after he gave her a bunch of presents and surprises, it feels a bit like manipulation. All these little extras are nice and important to keep the spark alive once you're married, but they should not play a decisive role in the question who to marry, who to raise your kids with etc.
    Don't get me wrong, I love surprises, special moments, little gifts etc., but most of these things belong to the context of a relationship, not to "woo someone into" one.

    1. Lol.. You never know, it could be a great ice-breaker haha

      Hmm, I think though the topic was concentrated on wooing pre-relationship, the conversation included ways to woo before and after a relationship as well as in marriage.. (wooing shouldn't end after marriage :-)
      It would be good to know how to start-up a conversation with a lady or traditionally woo her in simple ways.. Sending flowers, words (cards/letters), going on a well-planned date etc)

    2. Can I call you Ayo? Ayo, you haven't let Sabatian into the naija way o woo-ing.As in, before a guy meets girl and they agree to date, there must be a way or form before achieving that aim.The gifts which Sabatian is talking about is not pre-dating but after woo-ing.
      I have little knowledge about the western woo-ing formats but I could remember one...
      We were working (this happens at work, in a kitchen) and all I heard is, "could you give me your number? ","can we have a coffee drink together tomorrow"?. I was like choice, just like that?

      Lol at Agbalagbaski....I could remember this line, "hello sister"....

    3. Oh na na, what's my name? Hehehe.. Certainly! Please call me Ayo...

      Lol... Thank you! I didn't even think about the fact that wooing in different cultures might be different. I do think there are some fundamental similarities though lol..

      Thanks a lot for stopping by :-) So, you know my name, what's yours? :-D xxxx

  4. All these things are too cheesy for me o jare. I think this 'wooing' stuff is based on individual personality.

    People like me are not impressed with all these. Just come out to me straight, and stop the wooing game. If I don't like you, there's no amount of 'wooing' that would make me like you. Once we start the relationship, then you can start all these cheesy stuff. And it is just my person

    1. hehehe!!! Madam atilola. We know you ooo... Hard madam -____-

      I am all for the go straight to the point too, after you can naa comman be 'wooing' if there is no likeness no amount of anything can make anything happen, lets know quick so you can be going your way kinda thing.

    2. Lol Atilola and Tomi
      Are you sure Tomi that no amount of anything can make anything happen? I have seen otherwise oh! lol
      When a good guy knows how to 'present' himself, he could make it happen :-)

    3. Yes oh.. For anuything to happen I must be liking you fest... If not, nothing!!!

    4. Lol.. You need to meet some correct Christian guys with game..
      Many women fall in love with a man's heart. You get to a point where you start asking yourself why you would want to let such a good man go - particularly if you have had some not too pleasant experiences..
      A good, patient, persistent guy who knows what he wants and is bold can warm his way into a girl's heart :-)

  5. Atilola always straight to the
    Some people enjoy the thrill of romance, some don't!
    For couples getting set for marriage, and for married couples romance must not die o
    Am ok with anyone, buh I won't jump from a

    1. Lol.. Please don't jump from a bridge!
      Yes, Yes, yes! Romance musn't die after marriage!

  6. Girl, I wrote something similar months ago! Wow. We all want to teach them how to, don't we? I wrote how to woo an independent woman though because I think right now we have more of those kind. :)

    I hope they get it. :)

    Have a great weekend!

    1. Hiya dear!
      Thanks a lot for stopping by!
      I would loveee to read your article :-)
      I hope they get it too! xxxx

  7. heheheheheheheh 1 aswear, I love you baje baje right about now.. I mean i really needed this Expo as I dunno what direction to go about trying to woo RIBENA. hehe I got this really grande Idea while reading this post so EUREKA EUREKA EUREAKA!!!.. Okay moving on! A million likes for Mr. Motivations response, i think truly Consistency is key. I mean dont start up all sweet and calling for 25 minutes at night and later begin to dwindle.. If you cant keep up, then don't step up... Mr. John Nash is officially my Super hero of 1 + THE ONE, his replies are always so apt.. Inshort i want to be like him when I grow up **Shines teeth... In my 23 years 2 months 15 days old confused eyes yeah, the key to a womans heart is making her know that you can be the man that she needs, and that even if you arent all that now, you are willing to make her all smiles as frequently as possible. Cheers Bubba.. heheheh @ Elections of February the 14th, no be small pray for Nigeria over a candle lit dinner oh! lwkmdo.. issorait.. Bubba this is my best post of the entire January.. i likey.. :)

    1. Hahaha.. I am glad we could be of service Bubba... And thanks for your contribution too! You know these things already lol..
      February 14 in Nigeria must happen! :-)

  8. Lol, i don't want to say something, you guys have said it all. just be real as possible along with sweet nothingS and she'll be swooning in no time.

    1. Yes, Nachi, you're right.. You can almost never go wrong by being yourself :-)
      Thanks for stopping by the blog xx


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