It's 2months today.. And I still feel this deep-seated sadness.. Sadness is not quite the word, more like this sense of loss. It's not as deep as the loss you feel when you lose someone permanently, no that kind of loss is much worse - but this one feels bad all the same, very bad.
I hate doing sad posts but as part of one's journey in life, it's almost inevitable to encounter moments like this. And I want to use this post to identify with anyone - man or woman- who has ever suffered a heart break.
No one ever wants to admit that the end of a relationship has affected them in such a big way, it's seen as weakness. Naturally, relationships come and go. If it comes, great, if it goes, too bad - dust yourself up and move on. Just move on, everyone eventually moves on.... But you and I know that it's easier said than done.
I remember when I was younger, I used to be one of the 'hard' girls. Unbreakable! I didn't think any man was worth tears and sorrow. If he goes then 'gurllll he wasn't good enough for you' *rolling eyes*. I was the chief pep-talker amongst my friends and sometimes quite insensitive and not quite understanding the reason why a girl would be so hung up on a guy! Gosh, just move on to a better deserving bloke I thought! I had no patience for crying heart-broken friends and I didn't suffer them gladly.
Having cried my own tears, falling hard and deep, I am now not too quick to judge people who can't seem to get over the end of a relationship. I can more than empathise with them on 'that' hurt and emptiness that eats you for the first few weeks. I am so careful about it, I can almost feel their hurt when they cry about it. I wish I could take it away if possible and make everything work again. Needless to say, I hate relationship break-ups!
So, I am kinda going through that phase at the moment and it hurts :-(. As time progresses, the hurt lessens but once in a while it creeps up on you and you just want to crawl someone, be alone and cry/sleep/eat etc. I have prayed, I have encouraged myself, I have heard kind words, I have been surrounded by such amazing love and friends. Sometimes I feel goooood and can't wait for what the future holds! (Yessss!) And sometimes, the sadness comes like a cloud so heavy and so thick..
Nevertheless, I KNOW without a shadow of doubt that God always comes through for me in the end. There's so much comfort and joy I draw from Him at times like this and just like an anti-biotics dose, I have to keep 'topping-up'. As many doses as it takes until I am fully restored.
So, to anyone who has ever suffered a heart-break or who is currently surviving the end of a loving relationship, ultimately, 'ALL WILL BE WELL'.. Keep believing it, don't stop believing it and God will come through for you.