Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

The Owner of my Life, the reason for my existence, the centre of my joy, the only source of my completion and wholeness.

I'm really really sorry that this is coming late as I know that my letters come to You on Fridays and I believe that as my loving Father, You look out for it too. Please forgive me Daddy, I am sorry.

Thank You for being mindful of me.. Like the man You proclaimed was after your heart, David wondered aloud - What is man that you are mindful of, and the son of man that You visit Him?

This morning, I wonder as well.. Who are we, who am I that You are so interested in?
You made each and every one of us unique and different. We were carefully made by You, You paid attention and still pay attention to every single detail that concerns us. Everything about us is important to You and nothing about us is too trivial for You.

You own and rule the affairs of men, day by day, You keep the universe in check, You are the Lord of heaven, earth and hell, the Commander in Chief of the hosts of the universe, You command the sunset and sunrise, You tell the sea where its shore must be for that day, You pour Your rain on the earth and You give increase for a bountiful harvest.

You do all these and more, yet You still make time out for us, You still know when a strand of hair falls off any one of Your children, You are never too busy for us, You know when a son/daughter comes back home and you cause heaven to acknowledge with a celebration!

Your ears are never tired of our prayers, You delight in giving Your children good gifts when we ask and even before we ask, Your grace makes a way. You have called us the apple of your eyes and You hurt when we do. You said that You are our ever present help in time of trouble, You never sleep nor slumber, the fact that we have different time zones around the world makes no difference to You - You are always available for us, for me....Never too busy.

Thank You Abba Father. Daddy, thank You, my soul says thank You!

I am yet to get to that place of total availability to you, when I am never too busy for You but my prayer today Daddy is that You help me to always be available for You, to make You priority in every sense of the word.

I love You from the bottom of my heart and I am grateful to You for being a wonderful Daddy, the very best, none like You.

It's me - 1 out of billions yet 1 that has your full attention,
One xx

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

My Daddy in whom I can proudly beat my chest about!

My Daddy who never fails!

My Daddy who is the Champion, my Champion!

My Daddy who is supernaturally awesome!

My Daddy who is absolutely reliable!

My Daddy who loves without holding back or expecting in return.. You just love!

My Daddy who is Compassionate and Kind!

My Daddy who is Great and Mighty!

My Daddy who can never lose a battle.. Never ever!

My Daddy who does not slumber nor sleep!

My Daddy who can turn around a situation in the blink of an eye!

My Daddy who commands all things and they obey!

My Daddy with whom no one can contend with!

My Daddy who stills storms and parts seas!

My Daddy who spoke words and the whole earth was formed!

My Daddy who is the Creator and Owner of all things!

My Daddy who is Dependable and worthy of total trust!

My Daddy who is Everything - All in All, Complete!

I am proud of You Daddy, immensely proud and I can't say it enough.

Thank You for being my Daddy :-)

Your daughter,
One xx

Conversations with One: When You Fall in Love with Your Bestie

Hiya! It's another edition of Conversations with One! *cue music*

A little introduction for first-timers:

Conversations with One is a chat-series on the blog.

Each week, the 1 + TheOne panel (made up of beloved and very wise friends with a variety of personalities) and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. We talk about any and every thing!!

Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

You can have a look at the last conversation where we discussed the wisdom of abandoning your career or dream for someone you are in a relationship with. You can read it and other previous episodes HERE.

This week, our discussion is based on a question/dilemma:

"Help, I think I have fallen in love with my male-bestie. Is it alright to let him know how I feel? Would it make me (as a female) appear desperate or should I wait for him to make the first move?"

Happy ending?

What do you think? To let him know or to keep quite about it? Conversation time!

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Ms PYT: Is this male bestie also into her? Is she the only one falling in love or is the feeling mutual?

One: We don't know if the male bestie is into her too oh... Let's work based on the premise that she doesn't know if he does.. So he may or may not..

Mr NumeroUno: My advise to her - It can be expressed with wisdom in very very subtle ways (by actions and not by vocal speech). 

Shhh..

I believe the lady should not be the first to vocalise her feelings. She can show it through acts of kindness, acts of service, etc. Only, don't make it difficult for him, when it is obvious he is interested.  

How do I know if he is interested? Simple...
1. Withdraw and just play the absent and silent card. If he comes looking for you. Then there is potential.
2. He may be put off or angry at the sudden withdrawal, or very concerned and worried wondering if you are okay. These two actions indicate care, emotion and concern. Which also implies that there is potential. 

If he does not notice the absence, or does nothing about it. Then please open your heart for a guy who cares.

One: Lol.. I love the absent and silent card... But what if the guy too is dying in silence and takes her withdrawal as a sign that she is promoting (abi is it demoting) him from friend zone to brother zone?

Ah-mean, what if Ruth had withdrawn after her insides started tingling at the sight of Boaz (or at least before her mother-in-law gave her expo?)

Mr NumeroUno: One, I think Ruth's case is different. In the sense that we are talking about people who are already best of friends. Not new boy-girl relationships where the foundation is still being laid. So withdrawal should be sort of a test to see if there is indeed something.

Then if we look at Ruth also, she took the necessary action, by positioning. She didn't vocalise affection or feelings until the guy committed.

Ms PumpkinUnited: Eerrmm, I sort of love this question because I have a personal experience in that regard.. My SO (Significant Other) and I started off as besties.. but along the line, I realized I had developed a tender spot for him. Due to the kind of person he is (good-natured and with a large heart) I wasn't sure of his exact feelings towards me, so I decided to use 'woman power' to find out, by watching his reaction when he hasn't heard from me or seen me, etc etc ..I'm a very expressive person but then I'm not good at dealing with rejection so I tried to be careful. In the long run however, I realized the feeling was mutual, we were talking one day and he stated thus - as far as he is concerned, a man and woman cannot be besties cause there's a natural phenomenon for attraction to build overtime (it might not always be the case though) - I just caught that 'rhema' and held it close. So knowing how he felt about me, my expressive self took the bold step and expressed how I felt towards him, and the feeling was also mutual. Fast-forward some two years later and my bestie has graduated from my bestie -> boyfriend -> fiance -> husband to be.. Somebody shout Halleluya.. Loolll..

Ms UTA: Hallelujah! ! God is good; all the time! :-D

Mr Agbalagbaski: Halleluyah oooo.. Beuriful sturvs

One: Lol.. Loving the story Ms PumpkinUnited! Thank God you made the move oh! NumeroUno, I am still pro 'Speak-out'.. Why suffer in silence??

Like Nike, just do it! :-)

I think if you have a very good relationship - up to the point of being besties, not just random friends, you would have shared many 'áwkward' or private things! Be open, I think it's the way its presented..

She knows the way they communicate, and can say "Dude, I have to be honest with you, things have changed for me..." Please are there any guys who have had this conversation with a female friend (bestie or very close friend)? I would like to know how it turned out :-)

Ms TrueTalk: Hallelujah! Ms. Pumpkin United.

I feel a 'bestie' relationship between a boy and a girl cannot go on without a moment of attraction; especially when they have been together for a long time and grown to the age of having boyfriends/girlfriends. It can either turn out to be a mutual feeling or an awkward moment.

I would go with One on this - make your feelings known if not verbally, but through gestures. Don't bottle it up or expect him to just 'know'. Not expressing yourself may end up straining the relationship.

Now, what did I do again!?

Ms PumpkinUnited: I remember my bestie turned SO asking me back then "whom better than to marry if not your best friend, would you rather marry a stranger and start getting to know yourselves all over?"

One: Lol.. I agree.. Save yourself the stress :-)

So, I am still asking oh, has anyone done 1 or all of the following:

1. Told your male/female bestie that you had feelings for them (Pumpkin has dealt with this one).. If you have one with an alternative ending please let me know
2. Didn't tell your male/female bestie and they ended up with someone else.. Any regrets?
3. Didn't tell them but did the pulling away technique.. How did it turn out?

Ms PYT: I told my friend's brother I was in love with him and he just didn't say anything .‎ *Covering my face*.

Was his face a bit like this? lol

One: Hahaha.. This got me laughing out loud! Pele PYT... Please tell us in a little more detail warrapens now? :-D

Ms Hope: Hahahhahahaha please let me laugh at this one.

Ms MIA: This is really tricky for me because like Ms Pumpkin said, rejection is tough for anyone let alone for a sister....shaking already!
I have a near experience I can share. I liked him from day one of being friends but didn't want any more than that because I was dealing with a heartbreak. Dude wanted us to be an item but I insisted on being friends. Then he takes the friendship position after many months of trying to win me over. Fast forward to nearly one year of friendship and I start to dig the dude. I even got a tinge of jealous feelings when other ladies paid him attention. I did all the subtle-ness to hint him but my guy didn't respond, I even staged unnecessary quarrels but it didn't work. So I took a last resort and had 'THE' convo and guy was no longer interested...*sadddddface* (I got over it anyway...lol!).

You see, what it is is that... I'm kinda like no longer interested -__-

One: I get you on that staging unnecessary quarrel! Hahaha.. One day we should talk about the 'extreme measures' we took in trying to get a guy/girl's attention! But mehnnn why can't we like each other at the same time please?? That would save a lot of stress.

Ms MIA: I agree One, this likeness situation needs to start aligning itself somehow though. Ps. Guy found another girl and didn't tell me abourrit! Sadder!

MissMe: Sorry MIA, :-D

Ms MIA: Lol. Note to lady with dilemma, please be prepared for whatever the outcome is. I think that the worst thing that could happen to anyone is to have that lingering 'what if'?' I would say try the subtle approach (recommended by NumeroUno) and if need be, progress to face to face convo (it works for some.....Amen Ms Pumpkin!).
However, I must stress that you be prepared and don't make it awkward. Ask yourself the real questions, if dude does not want this to go further, what do I want? Can I stay friends still or will I need an exit strategy? My mother says - 'No friendship with men and women', although I think it is situational!

.... On that note, we end our conversation and put the question to you. What should she do? Say nothing but subtly send signals to him about her feelings, take the bite and speak to him about it, or something totally different? Also, we'd like to know, have you or any one you know been in this situation? Please share!

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Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

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Also, if you have any question or comment please send us an email too oneplustheone@gmail.com

Married and Loving It!!! Feat Sade and Femi Lawal

Hello all!

It's the 2nd Married and Loving It edition and I am delighted to be interviewing this beautiful couple!

A big thanks to everyone who commented on the very first post of the series a fortnight ago! The feedback has been really wonderful and I thank God for bringing this project to life! If you haven't read it + an introduction to the series, you can catch-up HERE.

How have you been? It's been a while *covers face* I have missed you all.. I apologise for the unscheduled hiatus I am also very grateful to everyone who checked in! You are simply amazing! God bless you immensely!!

On to today's couple - They are people I respect and admire. I have worked quite well with the Mrs in the past year on a project and she is such a phenomenal go-getter and mover! The first time I got to 'know' her was through an article she wrote in Avantgarde magazine, sharing a very powerful personal experience in her marriage and how God gave her and her husband a great testimony! I hope that with her permission, I would share that story on here one day. Her faith and passion for God are truly admirable.

I have also known the Mr from afar and one word that could be used to describe him is 'dedication'. He is also a very personable and kind person. I thank God that they agreed to be featured today (on very short notice). OnePlustheOne is immensely grateful to our lovely couple of the week - Mr and Mrs Folasade and Femi Lawal.

Be blessed!

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Hello and welcome to Married and Loving It Mr and Mrs Femi-Lawal! We are glad to have you as our guests for the week! Congratulations on 16 years of marriage! Please tell us more about yourselves.

Mrs Femi-Lawal: We really bless the name of the Lord for 16 awesome years of being married to each other and 3 years of courtship, making it 19 years of knowing each other! Like I wrote in my Facebook tribute to the man of my dreams, it has been a journey marked with the faithfulness of God that has seen us through different kinds of experiences, love, abundance, breakthroughs, unbelievable miracles, loss of a child, extreme pain, doubts and fears about tomorrow, lack, suffering, confusion, indecision, betrayal etc. One thing stands out, my heartthrob loves and cherishes me, and I adore him because he means the world to me! Till date, he still shops for me head to toe because if you drop me off in the centre of the UK or USA, my shopping areas are Primark, Dollarshop and Poundland (infact I close down Poundland buying my household items which he calls JUNK), but 'Ololafemo' surely knows what he wants at Harrods, Next, Dillards, Macys of this world etc. I was transformed from a 'beret-wearing' holy Sister to a fashionable icon that is on fire for God and my Man!

Mr Femi-Lawal: We have been married for 16 wonderful years during which I have experienced the blessings of God in diverse ways. To be honest, I believe I got more than what I asked from God. It's like He just decided to wow me with His blessings all loaded in the wife of my youth. She is a wonderful giver, very God fearing, a teacher of the word, a good and Godly example to our children. She is my chief planner and organiser. Everything I bring before her in discussion receives a godly breath. I am so grateful for having her as my sparring partner in this tough Christian race.

Wowiee! What a beautiful introduction! I couldn't help but laugh at the 'beret-wearing' sister description (lol).. God is so awesome! Thank God and congratulations again on 16 interesting and eventful years! How did you meet?

Mrs Femi-Lawal: We met at Coopers and Lybrand now PriceWaterhouseCoopers (PWC) on the 16th of  October, 1995 as Trainee Accountants. I was counselling and advising him not to have specifics about the lady of his dreams as per height, weight and vital statistics among other things as a believer and I took him up as a project to show him the reality of life in God regarding making a choice in marriage. I didn't realise he had his eyes on me. Lol

Mr Femi-Lawal: We met at Coopers and Lybrand where we were both Trainee Auditors. We became friends and later discovered we shared a few things in common with respect to ideologies and this drew us further closer. Before I knew it, I used to escort her home…and my God I can’t forget the many years of waiting at Choir rehearsals on her to finish..sometimes I would wait till 10, 11pm. Those were budding years of our relationship.

Awww... (note to ladies, if he is not willing to wait for your choir/drama/ushering rehearsal, he is not ready for commitment! :-D).. And of course, thank God for the gift of counselling too :-)

Mr and Mrs Lawal, we know that the wedding day is usually one of the most special days in the life of a couple, could you share 3 memorable moments from that day with us?

Mrs Femi-Lawal - Experience 1- The groom's car chauffeur (a family friend) drove back home to rest during the wedding service, assuming that the service would be long, forgetting that my church (RCCG) don’t waste time. Also, there were no mobile phones then to monitor the gentleman. lol. We ended up enjoying the jolly ride to the reception with my parish pastor, Province Pastor Farinu - a good man, after a long wait.

Experience 2- If you are a ‘kept woman' at 28 like moi, and still untouched (aka Virgin), then, prepare for the painfully sweet journey of discovery of the real thing called sex. In fact, the next day (a Sunday) in church for thanksgiving, one of the mature women came to implore moi to walk properly, as my 'steppings' were telling the story of the night before.

Experience 3- The day October 31st 1998 was a beautiful sunny day, the wedding service was set for 11am, being an 'Environmental' Saturday in Lagos with its attendant traffic, but we prayed and heaven supported us as Environmental Sanitation day was cancelled suddenly by the State Government on Friday.

Experience no 2 got me laughing out loud).. Thank you so much for your realness and honesty ma'am.. Mr Lawal?

Experience 1 – I didn't allow my wife to dance too much at the reception as she was dancing more than me, so I picked her up and went straight to the high table.

Experience 2 - The wedding night was very good.

Halleluyah!.. Now this made me laugh out even more! Praise God for that sir! :-) Thank God you started married life on a great note, how did the next few years as a newly married couple go?

A lot of adjustment and learning, sometimes tough but mostly eye-opening to balance my relationship with the man I love and his fixed assets (relations). I am blessed because my hearthrob’s family is a warm and loving one so it was not difficult to adjust quickly. My mother-in-law of blessed memory was absolutely in love with me, her first son’s wife. Issues will come, extraneous factors but the strong foundation of our love for each other helped to weather the storm.

That's wonderful, thank you very much!

Now, we come to the part in Married and Loving It where we ask our guest-couple to list according to the number of years they have been married, Things Marriage has Taught Them.. Here goes..

16 THINGS MARRIAGE HAS TAUGHT US - Mr and Mrs Femi-Lawal

1. Unity of Spirit, Soul and Body is the ultimate thing. Don’t ever compromise this for anything.

2. In all things, at all times, no matter the situation, be grateful to God for your spouse. In fact, we encourage couples to keep a ‘gratitude journal’ where you record the things you are grateful for in your spouse. This helps to keep sanity when you drive each other up the wall. You can always 'report' your spouse to God via the Thanksgiving mode. Remember whatever you appreciate does not diminish.

3. Sustain the ‘Fire, Hot Romance and The Chase’ in your marriage. This helps to keep the marriage fire burning. For example, our wedding anniversary, October 31st is always a carnival of some sort. The most recent one, our 16th was celebrated in style, fresh flowers and chocolates were delivered to my office from Monday through Friday. On the D-day, I had so many gifts, you would assume it were my birthday or Valentine's Day.

4. Take care of the customer - Food
    Take care of the customer - Sex
    Take care of the customer - Sex

My heartthrob takes home-made food to work irrespective of the nature of my job (I am a Banker/Accountant/Singer/Worker/Mother of four and I've been for the past 16 years!)

5. Surround your spouse without suffocating each other. Send love notes, hot text messages, encouragement at work, share jokes, check on each other during the day.

6. BE REAL! If there is anything that has worked for us thus far, we are real people serving a real God. This changes everything. No forming please.

7. Learn to forgive, forgive and forgive. I tell my heartthrob because I want to see my God in glory, I have prepaid his forgiveness way ahead of his mistakes. Tough decision, but it helps to stay free before God and Man.

8. De-emphasise money in your relationships. It does not matter who earns the fattest pay cheque, it comes into the same family pot.

9. Stay close to God, The Author and Finisher of your Faith. When all is said and done, He is the only constant factor that does not change in the face of changing circumstances. We have learnt to wait on God in the face of serious challenges and He always comes through for us.

10. Complement each other. Enjoy the benefit of each other’s strength. For example, he has eyes for good and classy things, the shoppers' delight, he is also extremely good with arranging stuff in the bags while travelling. On the other hand, she is gifted as the family book-keeper, accountability officer, domestic affairs manager and intercessor.

11. Teach your children early to love and serve God. As a family, every Sunday for the past 4 years, we lead our 4 awesome children to share tracts around the shopping mall within Lagos. They also take daily family devotion. Their age bracket is between 5 - 14 years.

12. Hold each other accountable for commitment to the marriage and children's discipline. We run a 'no nonsense'and fun-loving structure. Each child has a responsibility that is outside the the domestic support structure. For example, the teenager is the Devotional Pastor and enforcer of rules, the 10-year old is the family cook and chores master, the twinnies are bible-readers and room organisers. This comes in handy when you need to exercise the gift of goodbye to the weird or lazy nanny.

13. Be a Man and Woman of Integrity! Your spouse should be able to beat his/her chest for you anywhere on most issues. It is a good legacy to leave for your generation.

14. Kiss Often, Hold hands Often, Make fun of each other and laugh at each other. Don't take life too seriously.

15. Please take note that it is not every prayer that God answers! But at the end, God's will is revealed beyond your wildest imagination. Why? We prayed for our very sick son 12 years ago, God answered and still took him away. We thought God had failed us but He answered with another son and twin girls 4 years and 7 years after.

16. Be dedicated to each other! Our children know that we do have 'Us time' and they have come to grudgingly accept that their mum and dad come first before them and our anniversary days are for us to be left alone :-)

The Femi-Lawals with their twin girls :-)

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I am sure you loved reading this feature as much as I did! I loved the sincerity of the interview. It was great to read the God-factor clearly evident in their relationship and the practical aspect employed as well! I thank God for the Femi-Lawals and for giving them 16 beautiful years together.. Love is a truly beautiful thing, it takes work but its fruits are immensely rewarding.

Like the couples featured on the Married and Loving It series, God can give you an excellent marriage! It would not be devoid of storms/challenges but with God, you can ride them out together and come out stronger and better.

Once again, immense gratitude to Mr and Mrs Femi-Lawal for being a blessing to us today! Our prayer is that your home will continue to be an example, and inspire others to have faith in marriage, and in the God who made marriage.

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Do you have any questions or comments please send us an email oneplustheone@gmail.com

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Twitter: @1plustheone
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Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

Love of my life, it's been a week and a half. Through it all, I remain forever grateful to you for all that you do. 

Master of the Universe, my all in all, without You I am nothing. I am incomplete, my savour is lost... With You, I am whole, I am me, I am unstoppable, I am complete. 

Thank You for being my Anchor, my run-to God, my God in and out of season. Thank You for the great privilege. 

I love You Daddy, with all of me. 

Always yours,

One xx

Dear Daddy

My darling Daddy,

My Joy, my Peace, my Source, my Help, my Indispensable Friend and Saviour that I absolutely cannot do without. 

It's been a very busy week and I thank You for holding my hand through it all. Thank You for giving me strength, thank You for Your grace, thank You for infusing my life with surprises that money cannot buy. 

I rejoice in You, God of my youth. You have been a consistent constant in my life. I am forever grateful to You for bringing me out of darkness into Your marvellous light when I was but a little girl. The older I grow, the deeper my level of understanding of that great transition, and consequently, the depth of my unending gratitude to You. I am excited about the fact that the knowledge of You is inexhaustible, therefore no matter how much I think I know, I find that there is even MUCH more I don't know. *smiles*. How great is that?! How GREAT are You!

You who know the heart of man, yet still love unconditionally. You are privy to all our shortcomings, failings and inadequacies, yet it does not diminish Your love for us. Infact You demonstrated Your love for us by sacrificing Yourself while we were still very deep in sin - You are Amazing GOD!

I wish I could say more, I wish I could express it better but I hope these simple words would suffice a little - Daddy, I am in love with You. 

Thank You for loving this little girl. 

Your own,

One xx

Conversations with One: Would You Sacrifice Your Career/Dream for Him/Her?

Hiya! It's another edition of Conversations with One! *cue music*

A little introduction for first-timers:

Conversations with One is a chat-series on the blog.

Each week, the 1 + TheOne panel (made up of beloved and very wise friends with a variety of personalities) and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. We talk about any and every thing!!

Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

You can have a look at the last conversation where we had a very interesting discussion on the importance of your significant other/partner getting along with your family. You can read it and other previous episodes HERE.

We present to you the topic of conversation for the week:

"Does it make sense to make career sacrifices for someone you are in a relationship with (not yet married to)?"

Now, we know that love makes us make many wonderful (?) decisions... Do you think it is wise to give up a dream or lucrative job/business or opportunity because of someone you're in a relationship with?

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Miss TrueTalk: I do not think it's reasonable to make career sacrifices while still in a relationship. Especially if we are talking about leaving your present job or career path to up and pack your whole load to move to another state or country. It's like putting your life on hold for someone who is not yet 'confirmed'.

Confirmed like this? :-)

One: Thank you for that! Personally I think it's a very dicey situation.. You never know until the dotted lines are signed + I believe from personal experience that if your partner loves you and actually wants the best for you, he/she would not encourage you to desert your dreams to follow him/her, rather they are looking for ways to support you and ensure that you achieve your potential.

Mr Agbalagbaski: There's a difference between 'not yet married to' and 'enroute' one. If you're enroute towards one, then necessary sacrifices are important. As mentioned, one needs to make sure that discussions have taken place and you're convinced before leaping. 

One: That's a new one 'Enroute'.. lol

Mr NumeroUno: I echo Mr. Agbalagbaski.
Love as most of us might agree in itself is a risk. Furthermore, marriage in itself is a risk. So if one has to wait until one is married before making sacrifices. What happens to those who do and yet end up in divorce?

Look at it this way. Am I going to go on a boat across oceans for fear of a plane crash? Will I never go on the motorway because I have seen accidents or have been told road accidents occur ever frequently? Of course I wouldn't take such extreme cautions.

Rather, if necessity requires a trip via air, I'll rather take the necessary risk, pray as I embark on every journey, whether by road, air, rail or by sea. That is what faith is. Trust in God is constant and requires renewal day after day, again and again and again.

In the same vein, we are not prescribing stupidity and throwing caution to the wind. Please be sensible and be like David. Before you embark on a journey enquire from God. Shall I go? Are you in this? 

True or False?

Ms TrueTalk: I believe there has to be a certain level of commitment and understanding between the couple to enable such a decision/ sacrifice to be made. You wouldn't want to have a 'had I known' situation some time in the future, most especially if you don't end up with the individual. Also, whatever sacrifices you make should be your ultimate decision, so you don't spend the rest of your life blaming someone else for your "misfortune".

Ms NumeroUno: I learnt a big lesson from a story in Judges 20.
In this story, the children of Israel ask God before embarking on a war with a fellow tribe, Benjamin. God said in verse 18 send Judah first. They went but were defeated by a small tribe like Benjamin.

So you ask, how can God say I should go and yet I suffer humiliation. It was a test. By the time we get to verse 28 God gave them Victory.
The only time we can say don't be stupid in making sacrifices is on occasions where one has not heard God. If Ruth was playing wise and had refused to abandon her career whatever it was to follow Naomi. She will never have become the star that she is today. 

Take a leap of faith! source

Don't be stupid yes. But don't be too smart and too wise to end up cheating yourself. If you have to take the leap, ask God. If He okays it, please go on. Remember even the lost can be restored. So please ride on if God endorses the relationship and the move.

Mr Motivation: I think I lean towards the line of thought of NumeroUno...lol. But will also like to add that the terms and conditions in a relationship vary from that of a marriage. Hence highlighting the need to define where that relationship is headed i.e. purpose of being together. With that being the case, decisions to be made at the relationship level should be one that serves as a catalyst to reaching or achieving the desired objective or purpose, which ideally should be marriage. Decisions in a marriage setting on the other hand should be one that ensures the sustenance of the marriage and enhances the quality and experience in the marriage.

One: I love that!

Mr Motivation: In summary, decisions in a relationship should have as a guide, the end goal (marriage) as a basis and that of marriage should be its sustainability and quality of experience. Above all, every decision in both circumstances should always obtain the required divine backing, for every godly decision brings PEACE (Isaiah 32:17)

One: The men have come out in full force for this one! Niceee.. iLikey! Thank you very much. It's interesting that your opinions are very similar :-)

League of Men :-D

I have a question for the men - Would you move location or leave your job/career or dream for a lady that you are in a relationship with/en-route marriage (I think as Christians, we go into relationships with an 'enroute marriage' mind anyway)....

Kindly answer with examples were possible.. thanks *smiles*

Mr NumeroUno: It depends on what you mean by dream. If by dream you mean a motorbike or yacht, and the lady says it's not a wise investment for now and prefers a House in Malibu, California. Sure why not? If however you mean dream related to 'God given vision'. I dare say that, such will be an anomaly. Attention is on GOD GIVEN. A woman is designed to be help-meet. Call me conservative, but I don't think we can say men are given that same job description by God.

If my calling and next assignment is in Port Harcourt, and I'm currently in New York, and Madam is already settled in PH. Then there is no qualms moving over to PH.

Or to be more practical. Assuming I'm an Evangelist or Diplomat who moves from station to station and madam has a stable job in a place, I think it is important for her to feel secure, and her input, feelings and opinion as to where home should be is highly crucial and significant. That's an example I can think of to stress that there is no straightforward answer. It will depend on what the dream, vision, purpose, goal and present circumstances are.

One: Thanks Número Uno! I was waiting to read the response from the men because I kinda guessed that it would not be straightforward lol.

Mr NumeroUno: Lol, on a whole I think a woman should be sceptical about a man with no purpose or who can easily discard their 'God given' dream. The self inspired dreams can be polished and realigned by the help of a godly woman. Men can sometimes be very selfish. We sometimes forget to look at the wider picture, and that's where a godly woman comes in. 

One: I appreciate your points. So in clear terms, no a man shouldn't give up his dreams?

Mr NumeroUno: Yes. Job yes! A man can change jobs. Career change is also not too big a challenge. But dream. Hmm! Especially God-given dreams. Men are not designed to change that one.

What do you think? Do you agree? Would you give up your job or dreams because of someone you are in a relationship with? Please tell us in the comment box.

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