Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy!

This song by Your son Travis Greene illustrates how I am feeling right now... Thank You for making a way!



"... You move mountains, you cause walls to fall (for me) and I'm standing here only because You made a way!"

Thank You my dearest, absolutely AMAZING Father.

I love You over and beyond the galaxies, back again and then for all eternity!
One xxxx

Love, Life & Lightchild - Relationship Vs Marriage

I remember vividly one Summer time, my mum came visiting and usually when she comes into town, she stays at my sister’s house (you know, it’s better to stay in a family home than in a bachelor’s apartment - except you don’t mind starving and probably eating some sort of unbalanced meal of solely carbs, no proteins and oils. Just joking). So she comes into my apartment and she’s like "hmmm.. this house is so masculine! It’s just Black and White and Blue, no colour, no flowers, no pictures, no nothing." And I’m thinking to myself, ermm, excuse me mother, White is a colour, so also is Black and Blue! She then went on to say, if I had a 'lady friend' now, there would be more life in the house.

That got me thinking for a bit, not that she was encouraging or saying for me to co-habit, but she inferred that having a 'lady friend' put some feminine touch into my apartment would make it look more homely. 

That moment your mum asks about a 'Lady friend' *sips tea*

Dear Diary - Can I Talk Too, Pretty Please?

Start time - 10:40pm

It's only the second entry and I am almost about to not write anything in...... So tired! It's only the middle of the week but I feel stressed already.

I promised to give gist from the date with 'Jerry Curl' last week.... Hmmmm

Unfortunately, Jerry Curl was not this interesting *sigh*

Love, Life & Lightchild - Time to Say Goodbye

When I read the topic, I thought to myself - Goodbye already??  

Thankfully, it wasn't goodbye to Love, Life & Lightchild.. It was more like opening the door for you to exit a relationship that is going nowhere.... Ladies and gentlemen, it's reality check time!

*********************************************

One common thing that some of us love to do, even without knowing that we are doing it, is hoarding, holding on to things, sometimes too much, to our detriment. Sometimes we hold on to certain relationships for different reasons, maybe for fear of starting over, or not finding someone better (can’t be bothered to go through the whole process of waiting and finding) or thinking that we are running out of time and there’s probably no other one better out there, or the new reason - "Every relationship has its beauty and its burden, at least I have this one, I’ll endure and manage it". 

*This is not a relationship*

When is it possibly time to say goodbye, I’m gettin’ outta ‘ere to that relationship that’s not working?

Dear Diary 1 - In the Beginning...

Can't believe I am finally getting round to doing this! Last time I kept a diary was about 10 years ago! I was just about exiting teenage-hood.. How time flies! 

Oh well, I stumbled on old copies of my diaries while cleaning out my closet and I had to stop mid-way as I delighted myself with tales from my life long ago that seemed like I was reading someone else's story! I laughed, shook my head, and cringed at some of the things I read! How on earth could I have ever thought Kole was my ideal man! Oh dear!! Thank God for His mercies... And I wonder if Siju ever found out that it was my brother making all those anonymous calls!! *Secret admirer* indeed lol... I don't think I would want to go back there, but I can safely say that I loved that time (take away the spots though!).

Anyway, I thought I loved being able to see how far I had come and besides my diary was like my shrink! No judgement, just soaking in all the 'sordidness' - (at that time they seemed sordid! Haha) details of my daily existence... No complaints, no advice and no fees!

So I am doing this again Diary! Yes, you are back in business.. This should be fun.. I am too busy for daily entries though - then I was very jobless and now, man's got to work! :-D

So let's try once a week? Wednesdays to be precise!

I have a 'hot' date tonight... Cannot wait to write the details in my first full diary post entry next week!..

His name is Jerry (ewww).. I'm sorry but it reminds me of Jerry curl (double ewwww).. His face makes me forget how much I don't like his name though! He will survive lol.. I'm excited! It's been a while and I want to believe that Jerry knows how to make a date come alive (amen!)

Ok, let me practice small - Mrs Deedee Jerry Imaseun *Le sigh* lol

Alright, off to go get ready.. I'm excited already, not just for Jerry curl but for my brand new diary!! Whoop whoop!

DeeDee xx

Love, Life & Lightchild - "I Do", "I Did".... "I Don't Anymore...."

This week's Love, Life and Lightchild is probably my favourite so far... Apart from the fact that it came in really early (iKid.. or maybe not), it's an absolutely fantastic read... Enjoy!

***************************************

I am a sucker for a good, well planned out, love-filled, romantic wedding service. Most especially the declaration of vows between the couple. Sometimes I make a joke (which actually may not be a joke) when I see how couples say their vows on their day. Priest says, “Repeat after me": Husband starts repeating his vows after the priest, supposedly to his bride, but is looking at the priest as he recites the vows. (If you think I’m joking, watch carefully for this part at the next service you attend).
And the bride does the same too.. smh.. and I think to myself, are they getting married to the Priest? #rantover..

Nope, the Priest is not part of the 3-fold chord! :-D

Conversation Saved My Life!

Something really special happened to me in the last week.

I had a conversation with a very dear friend of mine which I had been stalling for a very long time. After many postponements, shying away and practically running away from having the conversation with my dear friend, this week became the proverbial day of judgement!

One thing I'm grateful for is that this conversation saved the life of a deep friendship that could have been lost over what I'm sure would be so trivial in a few years' time that we would both struggle to even remember why it was important in the first place.

A few things I learnt:

Dear Daddy

My Darling Baba mi loke,

Oh sometimes Daddy, it sounds 'sweeter' praising and extoling you in my Yoruba language. It sounds so beautiful and so deep!

Indeed praising you in any of my Nigerian languages makes me enter into a deeper level of worship and praise! Thank You for giving us so many languages!! I look forward to praising You in multiple languages when we get to heaven *whoop whoop!!

Allow me to practice a little here...

Oba mi, Alade wura, Kabiyesi. Alade Ogo, Emi ni ti n je emi ni.
Alagbara giga
Kiniu eya Juda
Oyigiyigi
Atobajaye
Alewilese, Aleselewi
Ajinde at Iye
Eyin lana, Eyin loni, Eyin lola
Talaba fi o we!
Oba awon Oba, Eledumare
Oba Iyanu, Iyanu ni ise owo yin!
Ese o Jesu! Ese Oluwa, Ese O Oba to soro mi dayo
Orisun Ayo mi, Orisun Ife mi, Orisun aiye mi!
Mo gbe yin ga!!

Oh Lord I could sing of Your love forever!
Agunechemba 1
Omalicha!
Okorobia dinma!
Malite na gugu
Chukwu, Chineke, Igwe!

What an Awesome God You are!

You are beautiful beyond description, my God who's indescribable!
Victorious God, merciful King!
King of Glory, Awesome Wonder

Thank You for loving me Daddy.

I LOVE YOU!

Always and always,
One xxxx

LLL - Thinking Out Loud: Team Singlehood, Get Me Outta Here!!!

The reason why Love, Life and Lightchild is coming on Tuesday this week is Lightchild's fault!! *points finger*

Just thought to put it out there... Yes, I'm not loyal hahaha

#HilaryForPresident  + Couldnt find one of Michelle O pointing! *I digress* :-D

Ok, on a serious note though, better late than never. I want to really really appreciate Lightchild's contributions to 1 +The One despite his very (and I say veryyy) busy schedule. Thank you, thank you, thank you! God bless you loads. Like I say, often times, the later it is, the juicier it is... So ladies and gentlemen, enjoy this very deep and rich article for the week, I have no doubt that you will be blessed!

LLL - Thinking Out Loud - Can a Man and Woman be Just Friends?

"Not sure you're going to like this one"

That was the message sent with this week's Love, Life & Lightchild (LLL) post. Of course with that kind of message, I was more than eager to read what it was that I might not like so I quickly scanned the first paragraph and I laughed internally... A topic that I take a stance on passionately and have engaged in many a serious debates with different people on lol. I could almost bet what/whose case he would be going for, so I was ready to read and in Mortal Kombat's voice 'Finish him It' hehehe... But, I was pleasantly surprised.. I found myself nodding at many points, reflecting and learning as well... I will kontinu with my thoughts post-script so that I don't give it all way.. 

Enjoy...

**************************************************

I was at a friend’s dinner party recently and a few of us (good mix of guys and girls) got talking about friendship and friends and then I decided to ask the one question that usually divides even the closest of friends, based on personal opinion: Can a guy and a girl just be friends? No strings attached?

"This is not my real face" :-D (source)

And as you probably predicted, the general consensus was noooooooooooo! It’s not possible, it’s either they have dated each other at some point, it didn’t work out and they stayed 'best friends' or one of them is secretly liking the other and is dying in silence, or waiting for the right moment to drop the bomb that will probably end their friendship – the “I think I like you more than a friend”.

For some strange reason, this whole conversation got me thinking real hard after dinner and on my way home, I decided to take a look at my friendships and relationships and ask myself if this 'general belief' is actually true in my own life.

You’d most probably not agree with a few things I’m going to say, but I will say it anyway!

So on my drive home, I had this conversation with two of my close friends (yes, you probably would have figured out that they were girls) and wanted to hash out this whole “guys and girls can’t be friends, something must have gone on somewhere, or is going on somewhere” business.

Who is a real friend? (source)

First question I asked was:

Who’s a real friend? What’s a real friendship like? What makes a true friend?
The dictionary puts the definition as “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations – a person who you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family."

What makes a good and true friendship?
Love, trust, respect, honesty, being mindful, caring, compassion...

I look at my close friends that are female and I can say that the proof is evidently there: they know me to a large extent, there is a mutual level of love, respect, honesty etc. that we share individually and collectively…

They have seen me at my best and at my worst, they are not afraid to tell me the truth or reel me in if they feel that I am not doing what’s right or getting into situations I shouldn’t be in…

If I need to just chill and hang out, I can with them…

If I need some “advice” on certain aspects of life, I can always bounce this off them.

If I’m being unreasonable with my habits (health, work, eating), they call me out on that...

If I am low, they are there to cheer me up…

All of these I can say exist with those I call my close friends and it is vice versa. 

Friendship shouldn't be so complicated! (source)

The only one thing that is non-existing in these relationships or friendship is any thing that can be seen as emotional attachment, sexual feelings or desires. 'Those kind of things that you’d be doing or feeling for someone you’re married to.'

So one of the guys asked, how am I so sure that none of my 'close friends' don’t like me like that and are just 'pretending' to just be friends and waiting for the 'right time to surprise me' or perhaps it’s vice versa? My answer was this: I know that if I liked someone or was attracted to someone, I’d be upfront about it and not try to be sly and be acting like a friend when I know I’m thinking something else on the inside. That’s too much drama and stress. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Nah!

If one party starts to 'catch feelings', then you be honest about it, address it and deal with it. The outcome of this would usually test the genuineness of your friendship!

Sadly, because of the times we are in, when people see a guy and a girl together or talking or hanging out, they would usually want to add 1 plus 2 to get 15 and say there is something going on between them. "They are more than friends...." blah blah bla..

Truth is, it’s not that it’s difficult to talk about a man and a woman being just friends without adding emotions, feelings or sex into the mix.

Just friends.. Without adding emotions, feelings or sex into the mix (source)

Unfortunately, we are the ones missing out in the end, as most people are engrossed with being on the path or journey of finding 'The ONE' and everyone we meet or choose to relate with would have had to be passed through the “is he/she the one?” test before we decide what category we would like to place them – “Try this one out”, “Definite Bae of life”, “Friend zone”, “Avoid at all costs!”, “Time waster”, “Do not pick up”, “Flee all appearance of evil”, “Jesus bind you”!

There are some things that you’d expect that one would learn from home (parents, siblings etc.), but not everyone gets that opportunity in life for various reasons. There are some things about life, or even about the opposite sex that you’d learn from a true friend that in the end, will benefit you and the person you marry.

For instance, one of my friends once told me that because I tend to be overly nice, someone I am just meeting for the first couple of times could easily take it as me showing an interest (of more than being friends) in them or making advances or even leading them on to believe there is more than 'just being friends' on the table. This has saved me from potential sticky situations and drama.

As creative as I am, I can find myself in a fix when it comes to trying new things out, most especially mixing colors when it comes to dressing up (I prefer my safe monochromes – black, white, blue and grey)… But apart from my sisters, my friends don’t shy away from getting me out of my comfort zone when the need arises for me to 'dress up'. 

 

                 From this....                                                 ....To this (Thank God for my friends!) (source)

And the same goes for them as well - whether they are in relationships or not. It doesn’t stop, hinder or wade in on either parties being in meaningful relationships that lead to marriage etc. Where and when that’s the case, boundaries are respected, space is given and partners are well respected also.

Above being able to do everyday life things with friends, the fact that our faith can be shared, and enjoyed, (it’s not everyday fun fun, party party or go out stuffs), I enjoy the fact that I can engage in spiritual activities with my friends, whether going to Church, fasting, praying, doing some study of the Bible etc.

We’ve lost the true meaning of friendship!

Evolving times, media, society, changing times, modern times, call it what you want to. All of these factors have come into play when we talk about friendship.

In the early days of the Bible, as God intended it, you couldn’t just rock up and call any Tom, Dick, Harry, Potter, Chantelle or Shaniqua your friend! Friendship was considered to be a sacred thing, a thing that was never entered to lightly. In fact, for you to call someone a friend, there was some sort of covenant that was entered into, it was that deep! You can look at the accounts of God and Abraham, David and Jonathan.

Beautiful, innocent, pure, deep, friendship *No strings attached* (source)

I guess the answer to the question lies with each person’s view and perspective. Your view and perspective is your reality and that is what you will live by. And until we begin to see things, see life and live it as God intended for us to, we will be the ones missing out on the countless beauties and blessings that are around us, simply because we choose to let the world influence our minds and outlook on life itself.

No wonder the Bible tells us to renew our minds daily and not think like the world thinks. Easier said than done, I know but the rewards of living through God’s reality and not ours is endless!

So what do you think? What’s your take on it? Yes? No?

........Lightchild

You can follow Lightchild on Twitter @light_child , Instagram @lightchildfamily and Facebook -LightChildFamily

*********************************

Permission to be the first person to respond to Lightchild's question lol.

Many times, I have debated and vehemently asserted my opinion that guys and girls can't be 'just' friends.. Something is bound to happen to the 'just'. For me, it's just too risky to venture into.

Personally, I have been burnt and in other cases burned (sorry!). The first time I ever had a male bestie, I got burnt (oh sorry, I haven't told you guys that story! lol. I should blog about it!). However, I am still very grateful for that experience because it made me learn a lot! It made me more comfortable with guys, I learnt a lot more of what to do, how to do and it was an invaluable friendship. It didn't stop the emotions, indeed it fuelled the emotions without me even knowing! For me, that's the danger and the risk you run in friendships like that. It doesn't always happen but it can happen and it's not very pretty!

I have to say though that reading Lightchild's post made me hopeful. I think in an ideal world, guys and girls should be able to manage being just friends - and what a beautiful thing it would be. I have met amazing guys who I believe would have made fantastic friends but unfortunately that wasn't explored because I feared that lines would be crossed or blurred and we would have to start looking for ways to try to make sense of it all.

To be honest, I'm not sure I've been fully persuaded by Lightchild BUT I am more open and would hope and pray that we can enjoy friendships in its purest form - male or female.

*******************************************

Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Twitter: @1plustheone

Google+ - 1 + The One

Instagram: @1plustheone

Email: 1plustheone@gmail.com