Dear Daddy

My dearest Daddy,

It's me again! :-)

My sweet Gentleman of Galilee. Beautiful Saviour, Glorious God.. My Emmanuel. My Great and Mighty King. Awesome Wonder, Sovereign Lord!

I love and appreciate You Daddy and just want to take out these few lines to say THANK YOU.

Thank You for making me me.

Thank You for seeing ALL of me and still love me patiently, deeply and fiercely.

Thank You for looking out for me in such magnificent ways

Thank You for feeling my pain and comforting me through them all.

Thank You for seeing my secret tears and wiping them.

Thank You for encouraging me when no other person's words will do.

Thank You for being the reason behind my smile.

Thank You for giving me hope and making me look forward to what the future holds

Thank You for opportunities and open doors, You're such an Amazing God.

Thank You for my network of friends and family.. You have blessed me with the very best.

Thank You for LMPS, PWC, 1 + The One, GMC, MCD - Lol... So many acronyms.. Thank You G.O.D!

You rock, you rock major! Knowing You is beyond what I could possibly describe. I am complete in You. With You I have everything I could ever need or want or desire. You are my completion. Thank You Baba mi.

My no 1 King. My no 1 Friend. My no 1 Daddy. My no 1 Love. My no 1 Lord. My no 1 Saviour. My no 1 Redeemer. My no 1 Champion. My no 1 Provider. My No 1 Defence. My no 1 Protector. My no 1 Shield. My no 1 Crown. My no 1 Joy. My no 1 EVERYTHING.

Thank you a million times over and more.

I love You.. I couldn't say it enough.

Thank You Daddy.

With all my no 1 love,
One xx

Love, Life & Lightchild - Dealing With Sexual Temptation

Hiya everyone!!

Sorry for being MIA last week... What can I say, life happened! Lol *Sowiee*

Guess what though, we're back! Lol.... And back with bells on! Lightchild is talking about a topic close to my heart. Now for me, the icing on the cake (Cake! I love cake! Sorry, I digress) is that this time he is talking about sex and sexual temptation relating to men! 

On 1+ The One, we've discussed Sex a number of times - Waiting and Loving It, Team V for the Win and so on. Usually, it's written from a woman's perspective so I am delighted to read from a man's point of view.. Here you go, hope you are able to enjoy and of course be inspired....

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Everyone gets tempted, you get tempted, I get tempted.. It's normal! It's what you do with the temptation that matters.

So how can one deal with sexual temptation? How can you ensure that you do all that you need to do (that lies in your remit and power to do) to ensure that you can deal with it, if and when it comes? 

Here are a few things that have helped me and are still helping me.. 

1. It is always a choice: 

Your choice. Life is a sum of choices that we make, every minute, every hour, every day. The only thing we don’t get to choose in life is the family we are born into and possibly when we die. But every other thing we do, every other thing that happens to us, we have a huge part to play in. And that is why one can’t but stress that because the power to choose either life of death has been set before us, we must constantly depend on, listen to and give room to the Holy Spirit to lead us into making the right choices so that we don’t keep finding ourselves in situations that we need God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Mary, Joseph and Elijah to come save us from! 

Right there in your closet, when you have your alone time with God is the best time to let Him work on your character, personality, weaknesses and emotions, so that when you go out and interact with the world, the Word that you have on the inside of you, working with the Holy Spirit leading you, will help you make right choices. For instance, when setting up a date or a meet up with someone of the opposite sex, it’s normal practise to carefully plan the whole date - what you’ll wear, where you’ll go, what you’ll do etc. However, most of the time, we don’t think to check in with the Holy Spirit just to see if He’s okay with our plans. 

As you prepare for a date physically, do you take time out to prepare with the Holy Spirit? (Pic Source)

Sometimes I get a nudge when I’m going over my plans, that makes me rethink certain aspects of the plans (whether it’s a date-date or even just a friendly meet up) and what this helps me to do is to reassess the situation and not put myself in a position where I am more open to unnecessary temptations or scenarios that I’d need a bail out or 'the cavalry' to come rescue me. 

If I know that I find the person I’m meeting with quite attractive, I would make sure I don’t plan activities that could help build up unnecessary emotions and desires that I am not ready to deal with or shouldn’t be dealing with at that point in time. 

I have to say though that even with all of these precautions in place, it’s still your choice at the end of the day. It’s your choice to go in for that extra cuppa at her place or yours. Nothing just happens! One of my mentees said to me once, "I don’t know how it happened, it just happened!" And I said to him, "Dude, maybe you started it, maybe she did, but your clothes just didn’t come off like that!"

2. Don’t form the habit of going window-shopping: 

Your eyes are the windows to your soul. The same soul where a whole bunch of emotions and feelings can develop from. Whatever you feed your eyes with, will get stored into your subconscious, your mind and your inner person and it’s only a matter of time that these things will want to come out to play. If you find out that you’re more inclined to feeding your mind with stuff that is full of sexual content and activity, it is just a matter of time before you would probably want to ‘act out’ or experience certain thoughts that come to your mind. Remember this: what you see and feed your eyes on will someday become your thoughts. If care is not taken, your thoughts will become your actions. Your actions can lead to forming habits. And when these habits are not good, they could potentially become and lead to sin. 

3. Don’t fall victim to the 'I know myself mindset':

So if you’re not planning to take things further the right way, don’t say I know myself and I’ll just stick to cuddling and maybe kissing - no tongues! You may have perfected these, but believe me, as insatiable as we human beings are, a barrage of emotions, feelings and desires may engulf you, without asking for your permission and take over the proceedings at that point and before you know it, you’re paying for stuff you didn’t want to buy initially. That’s what window-shopping can do to you… 

You go to buy milk at the shop but you come back with ice cream, cookies, cream, cat food and a new TV. (You don’t even have a cat by the way!) In the same vein, you said you’d only just stick to hugging and cuddling but then you got more than you bargained for. That’s what temptation does, it leads you to situations you did not contemplate finding yourself in and ultimately, most times, getting more than you bargained for. When you put yourself in scenarios that are fertile breeding grounds for temptation, you’re opening up yourself to sin that will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you are willing to pay. Can you really afford to pay that price? 

Say no to window shopping! (Pic source)

4. Think about the consequences, think about tomorrow:

If there is one thing that helps me personally, it’s the practise of thinking about tomorrow whilst living today. When faced with a decision or a choice to make, I always say to myself as a rule of thumb: would I be happy tomorrow about the decisions and actions I am about to make? Who would I have to say “I’m sorry” to? God or the lady or both? What’s the fall out going to be like? Happiness? Guilt? Satisfaction? Shame? After honestly going through these in my mind, once it’s apparent that it’s going to be more negative for me than positive, it’s a no brainer what the choice will be. You may feel like a 'no actions' person, or that person that’s got no game at that moment, but that moment will always pass, because it is what it is, a moment, one that could make or break you. Perhaps you’re the kind of person that has a good grip on your actions and you “know” that you probably won’t be giving in into any physical encounters. That’s all well and good. There is still the matter of the purity of the heart and mind. The fact that you may not be engaging in the physical act doesn’t mean that one is not succumbing to temptation in his heart. So you may want to guard where your mind goes, what it thinks about, how long you spend thinking about certain thoughts before you cast them down. Guard your heart, above all else, for it determines the course of your life. What you store inside will help you win or loose the fight over sexual temptation.

.............Lightchild

You can follow Lightchild on Twitter @light_child , Instagram @lightchildfamily and Facebook -LightChildFamily

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Like I said to Lightchild, this is probably my favourite post so far for obvious reasons. Often times, when we talk about waiting until marriage for sex, many people say that while some women can do it, it is almost impossible for men.

Well thank God that it is clear that it is possible. It's not easy (not at all), however, it is possible by God's grace. 

I like the last point above - think about tomorrow whilst living today. The choices we make today affect what happens tomorrow. We are not like lesser animals who have no control over our decisions, we are made to have a will and to have self-control. May God help us in Jesus name!

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Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

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Email: 1plustheone@gmail.com

It All Started with a Dream...

It all started from what was 'girl's gist'. Anyone who knows me knows I like gist lol... Actually let me rephrase that before I get into trouble, I like stories! I love stories... I love reading them and I absolutely love hearing them. My friends are tired of me lol. I love hearing real stories, It's fascinating for me hearing people's stories. I believe everyone has a unique story and I enjoy finding them out! :-D Oh did I also say that I love asking questions too?! Oh I do! I should work for the FBI/CIA/SSS!! (Referrals welcome! :-D)

Anyways, I digress... So my friends and I were gisting when Yetunde aka Yettisho somehow started talking about how her life changed.. Simply put, I was drawn in, I realised we shared some similarities and I just had to ask if she would be willing to share on 1 + The One. As the fantastic person that she is, she obliged and here we are... I hope you are blessed (as I was) by reading.. Enjoy!

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YettiSho

I was 19 in my second year of University and I felt inadequate, my self –esteem hadn’t risen much from my early teenage years. I had decided to stop raving (aka partying, clubbing) as it wasn’t bringing me a boyfriend, every rave was the same and I felt empty. My best friend at University was the most dedicated Christian I had ever met, we had both decided to stop raving to focus on our respective faiths. We were very close course mates, work mates and flatmates but she was Christian and I was Muslim. 

It was never an issue, sure we debated but we were respectful enough that we never crossed lines and it never affected our friendship. I was a very confident Muslim, was adamant that there was nothing I would want more than to die as one going to paradise. I would speak with soo much passion and conviction that, those in limbo with their faith couldn’t help but give Islam a second thought. That all changed in one night. It was the month of Ramadan and I was feeling extra spiritual. I was at University and I had an early night. 

 I found myself in a waiting room alongside my best friend and two of my friends. I was soo scared!! I looked around at my friends and they were soo calm and I was the only one shaking and frantically worrying about my mother as we were waiting for the roller coaster to take us to the place we were to be judged. I woke up full of fear and not wanting to go back into the nightmare. I knocked on my friends door scared to sleep, telling her the dream I had, completely baffled that my subconscious wasn’t as confident as my conscious self. I told my mum about the dream, she brushed it away telling me not to worry that she has dreams like that all the time. So I pushed it to the back of my mind, shuddering at the thought. After having religious based conversations with friends I began to question things about my Islamic faith that I had never considered, why wasn’t the signs to watch out for in the last days in the Qur’an like it was in Revelations? Why couldn’t I pray to God whilst on my period what if I really needed him? Why did I have to learn another language to speak to God – after all he’s Omniscient?!

I questioned these silently and would pore over my Qur’an trying to find the answers. Me and two friends were up late at night talking about dreams, the conversation switched when my friend turned to me and said “You never talk about that dream that you had”. I was taken by surprise and lost composure asking why she would bring it up knowing how it made me feel. She pushed and told me that she felt the dream was significant and that I should come to her church, no obligation but she felt if I got nothing from it at least I would enjoy the music and would never have to go back if I didn’t like it. 

For me, I had been to many churches, going to faith based primary and secondary schools, having Christian friends and members of my extended family so it wasn’t new to me. In fact I would leave the church programs determined to be a better Muslim! The next day was Sunday, and when I woke up I suddenly felt apprehensive and regretted agreeing to go to church. I told my friend who reassured me again that I’d be fine. I went back to my room and said to God, “I’m going to this place today, whatever you want to show me I pray you show it to me”. 

I had never prayed like that before. When we got outside the church I felt like I couldn’t go in, and suddenly felt emotional and overwhelmed. So I got myself together, slightly embarrassed I entered. The praise and worship songs were familiar from my days at school, I closed my eyes and tried to hold back the tears that were fighting through. When the praise and worship ended, I quickly wiped away the tears hoping no one had seen. Before the service closed there was an altar call, “Of course you’re not going to get up” “Why would you even think of getting up”’ this was the argument I was having with myself. 

When the service closed I stood up pictured myself running out of there, but my legs didn’t cooperate with my brain. I stood there rooted, and I finally broke down. I lost all composure and cried like my heart was broken. No one came to me, not even my friend I came with, they allowed me to cry. I then felt a hand on my shoulder and lifted my head up, it was the Pastor of the church. “Why are you crying?” She asked me, “I’m just soo scared” I said. She then held my hands and prayed “Jesus, bring peace into this girls heart”, as if by magic the tears stopped! I tried to cry but they wouldn’t come, the confusion and fear I felt also stopped. She continued “Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?”, in my head I shouted “No Way” but as I opened my mouth I said “Yes”. 

She kept speaking and my mouth kept agreeing, till she hugged me and said welcome to the family. I had another friend who had told me she had something to give me before I even accepted the invitation to the church, when she gave me the gift it was a New Believers' Bible ((it was surreal!). They all celebrated with me and I smiled, but I felt sick to my stomach shocked at what had happened and frightened at how I would tell my parents. When I got back to halls at Uni, I called my mum and told her through tears how I had become a Christian, how she doesn’t know how hard it had been for me as I had been soo miserable and stressed. My ramblings frightened her so she told me to speak to my uncle who had converted in his 20s too and was now a Pastor. 

I called him and told him what happened and told him I felt like I was going crazy, he was ecstatic told me they had been praying and that I’m not going crazy because he too had a similar experience. I came off the call relieved and started looking into my New Believers Bible, 'Share your new found faith in Christ to make it real' was the first chapter. So I did just that, I sent my friends a mass text that I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour and I was no longer a Muslim. Many called me as they felt it was a prank, but joy and peace like I had never felt washed over me each time I retold the story as it began to get more and more real. 

My parents were adamant that it was a phase and influence from friends, so much so they ambushed me with senior leaders from the mosque I grew up in. Almost a year into my new faith they turned up unannounced at our home on a Sunday, my mother telling me she didn’t know why they were there after I asked her. They called me into the living room, my stomach churned as I asked God silently to give me the words to say. They said they heard about my issue and wanted to help me resolve it, I looked at myself thinking 'was I sick?' 

I asked what issue they were talking about; they proceeded to tell me that they heard that I had been influenced to become Christian. I told them what happened, about the dream and my experience in the church and they dismissed it as pure hallucinations and lack of knowledge on my part. My Father chimed in “Don’t mind her she’s on holiday”. At that point I turned to my mother like a child “You lied! You said you didn’t know why they were here!”. At that point they all descended on me and told me not to speak to my mother like that, through the chaos I had created I put up my hand and said, “If you believe in the God that you serve, pray to him to change me and he will change me you don’t have to do this” At that point they looked at me and each other agreeing that I had spoken wisely, I praised God as I left their midst to get ready for church breathing a sigh of relief knowing that I had truly found my home in Jesus.

This was 10years ago. I'm still in the faith and God has continued to carry me from strength to strength, pushing my faith further and validating my decision. I look at the person I was before, full of fear and doubt, there were times in my life when I felt alone; knowing Christ has allowed me to experience that even in the loneliest times of my life, I'm never alone. Even when I make the wrong decisions, I always have Him to lead. I'm bolder and I have a peace that I could have never imagined. It's the best decision I ever made.

You can watch Yetunde's Vlogs on Youtube - YetundeVlogs

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Were you blessed by Yetty's personal experience? Do you also have, or feel a void deep inside and you yearn for more? Would you like to also have this wonderful encounter and relationship too? Just say this simple prayer with me - 

"Jesus, thank You for dying for my sins on the cross. I appreciate and acknowledge your sacrifice. I want to invite you into my life today, come and fill this void Jesus, I believe in my heart that You are Lord and I want You to be my Lord. Please forgive me for my sins and make me brand new today in Jesus name. Thank You for a new start Lord, I give You praise. Amen"

Wow! Congratulations, your life just became amazing! Welcome to a new life, a new relationship :-) xxxx

Ps If you prayed that prayer or want to know a bit more about all that has been said above, please send me an email at 1plustheone@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you!

Also, if you would like to share your own experience too, please send me an email.

You can read other real stories HERE

Have a wonderful weekend people! Lots of loveeee xxxxx

Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

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Twitter: @1plustheone

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Love, Life & Lightchild - He's Just Not That Into You If.....

So ladies AND gentlemen, I have to say that when I saw the topic of this week's 'episode' of LLL, like you I couldn't wait to read it!

In this week's post Lightchild is not holding back and I am lovingggg it! You asked, he's answered....

Without saying too much, let's gooo!

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Hallos! 

So I’m still trying to figure out exactly how I got myself into penning down my thoughts on Love, Life and Lightchild (Editor's note: Huh? My friend behave yourself! Don't let me 'cast' you!)) and with today’s topic, I’m thinking to myself...hmmm, I’m going to get some serious walloping for what I’m going to say on this topic.. 

So here's the scenario: You’re sitting down, thinking, trying to figure out, reading between the lines, crossing the 'i's and dotting the 't's, re-reading all the messages you’ve exchanged, analysed who calls who the most, who calls first, "Does he add some sensitivity or endearment in his responses?"... All of these thoughts, just to 'find out' the answer to the burning question: “Does he like me like me, is he into me into me, or is he just playing about?" 

The general consensus is that if you’re asking this question or you’re thinking along those lines, you’re probably in some sort of relationship, talking level or communication with the (person) guy, and you’re getting to the point where you're getting conflicting thoughts or signals and you want to clarify what’s up!

I could tell you all the 'signs' you’d normally get as answers if you asked someone this question. It will include some of the following: 

He’s not that into you if: 

• You’re calling him more that he calls you.
• He doesn’t give anything away about himself that is deep revealing of his nature and personality. 
• He avoids discussing the hard questions (where is this going to, what are we doing, what are your intentions).
• He frequently cancels any sort of dates or meet ups you’ve both arranged and his excuses are ingenious and new every morning. 
• You haven’t met anyone that is important to him (friends or family).
• He keeps things superficial and isn’t really that proactive about asking after your well being.
• There’s nothing extra ordinary about how he treats you and how he treats others.
• He’s always about the fun and nothing substantially serious. 

I could go on and on listing these points but what if we looked at this from a different angle... 

There is something that I learnt a while ago, which you might have heard or actually already practise, it’s called 'Defining the relationship'. I personally believe that it helps to manage expectations when relating to the opposite sex (genuinely), simply because it practically takes away scenarios and occasions where you are inclined to assume stuff (and you know what they say about assumption right?). 

I tell folks - never assume anything (let's admit it, for women - and some guys too - this can be a little difficult) but you will save yourself a lot of heartache and stress if you don't make assumptions because he’s nice, he smiles at you, he asks after you, conversation and banter with him is well dope and he just simply ticks all the boxes. 

I have personally experienced that before - A few years back, when I met someone, who on a superficial level, I’d probably not get along with simply because we lived and led different lifestyles. But we got on well, banter was great, we seemed to be weird in unique ways and I took that for “Oh yes, looks like I’ve found a perfect match, thank you Jesus! *Praise Break, testimony time!*”. Then I started catching feelings and emoting emotions, only for her to tell me (after I had expressed some 'emotional caring emotions' to her ) “I’m sorry mate if you got the wrong message, I was only being friendly!” (Ouch!)

So my take on this is this: 

Never assume that you’re his Bae, or  he’s yours, if you both have never had the talk and there has been no intentions of such that has been spoken, discussed and agreed on, verbally - in a 'serious sense'. You will save yourself a lot of headaches worrying over something that potentially doesn’t exist! If he’s not playing the role of Bae with you and he isn’t seemingly travelling that way with you, you don’t play the Bae role to him to a point where you’re now getting all confused and asking yourself questions on whether he is into you or not. 

I know sometimes we may get impatient and want to just jump in and trigger/invoke the Article 51 on relationships, “Are we in or are we out?”. If you are the type of person that “needs to know what’s up”, then by all means, before the phone calls start getting to every day every night, the texts messages flow back and forth like stocks being traded on the stock exchange market, the conversations are growing well late into the nights and it’s becoming 2hrs, 3hrs on end and you’ve started catching feelings... pause... chill, have that conversation and define the relationship. 

Have that convo... Define the Relationship (DtR)

He may just see you and like you as a friend, the same way you may just see and like some other guy as a friend, genuinely. 

If he’s into you for the purpose of being more than friends, a man will:

• Let you know for sure for sure, that he wants more (whether verbally, practically, through hints or his actions).
• Give you the attention that you need regardless of how busy he may be and make what matters to you matter to him. 
• May be the nice guy that’s nice to everyone, but when it comes to the way he treats you, it’s extra special. 
• Talk to you and bring you in on life matters, serious issues and possibly involve you in crucial decision making that affects/involves him, simply because he sees you as the person whose opinion matters to him. 
• Be there with you and for you, to do life with you, not just the fun stuff, but the serious stuff, even the times when things ain’t going down too well with you. 

But there’s nothing that beats this one... If he is into you, he will be able to look into your eyes, without fear, doubt or a flinch, and tell you that he is that much into you, to want to spend his life with you. And how will you know it’s genuine seeing that there are masters of deceit out there?

When he says it, you will know it in your heart, you will feel the genuineness and sincerity in his declaration and of course, he won’t just say it as mere words, he will back it up with meaningful actions and he himself, his nature and character will testify to his words that it is what it is! 

No mincing words (source)

Like I’ll always say, there are different types of men out there, there are boys who just want to play and have fun. And there are men who know what they want and go for it. Someone always says to me that when a man knows what he wants, he will go for it, stop at nothing to get it and give all to have it. True. 

Simply put, if he’s into you just as a friend, he will relate with you on a friendship basis. Sometimes, this can be quite confusing, especially if he’s the type that is seen to be nice and caring, you get along with him and to make matters worse, he’s your type! You may misinterpret his friendliness for a genuine relationship interest which could potentially ruin the friendship you have itself when you find out that he’s just not that into you!

...................Lightchild

You can follow Lightchild on Twitter @light_child , Instagram @lightchildfamily and Facebook - LightChildFamily

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Like I said earlier on, I loved reading this post and I found myself nodding, thinking about personal experiences (and cringing!), as well as understanding and absorbing the fact that if I have to ask the question "Is he into me into me" then there's already a 99.9% chance that he isn't. When a man/woman wants to be with you, he/she would and should not leave you doubting or second-guessing what they want. 

You're not a private investigator / mind reader..... and more importantly, you're worth more than that! If they want you in their lives, let them show you (and everyone else) that they do.

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Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

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Love, Life & Lightchild - So You Think You Know What Men Want?

Hello everyone and welcome to a brand new week!

Something else that is brand new is this series on 1 + The One from a man's perspective simply titled 'Love, Life & Lightchild' aka L-Cubed / L3 / LLL

Each week our guest writer would talk about a wide variety of topics/issues/gray areas on love, life and everything in-between. He will also be available to answer those questions that you have wondered about in what would hopefully be a very honest, straight-talking manner... Let me warn you, you might not always like his response (it's the truth right? lol), but one thing's for sure, you will find nuggets of insight and wisdom in what he says/writes... Feel free to challenge him too! :-D

Alright, without further ado, allow us to introduce Ayobami Soetan aka Lightchild as he takes on the first question in this series - What Do Men Really Want???!

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Source

I'm sure you've probably come across countless articles or writings on “What Women Want”, “The 5 Keys to Finding the Right Guy/Girl” and the usual suspects: “10 Signs He's Not the One”, “7 Clues that let You Know He's not in for the Long Haul” etc... You won't often come across many articles that actually portray men in a light that sees them as human beings with valid feelings, desires, emotions, needs and wants. And to make matters worse, when it comes to relationships, society has unfortunately helped to shape the mind to think that what all men think about and want is sex. (Argh!).

Today’s culture often tends to place much emphasis and focus on the woman's need, desires and wants above the guy's and this often tilts the balance that should exist in a loving relationship between a man and a woman. 

In case you don’t know, now you probably will: not all men are after women just for sex or pleasure *shock shock horror!*, whether in a dating relationship or in one that’s moving towards the next level which is typically marriage. 

So the question is asked, what do men actually want? The list is probably endless, but I will only mention a few. This is about a man, a good man that you’ll be happy to take home, be proud to call yours, one that you’re safe and secure in his love and affections for you, one you would want to call the father of your children, who knows what his standards and preferences are and simply, the man you’ll want to do and live life with. 

He wants a Partner 

Real men desire to find a partner in a woman, someone they can trust enough to work with, share with, one they know has their back, would cover them and stand side by side with them (not in-front or behind).  They love a woman who will positively challenge them to be the best he can be and support him in this cause. A man who finds this in a woman, will find it easy to reciprocate this to her on every level. 

Source

He wants to feel Safe and Secure 

Though men are often referred to and seen as protectors, a man would always desire to see his partner as his safe place, his happy place, a place that he looks forward to coming to each day from the hustle, bustle and noise of life. He would want to see his partner as that one person, that one place that he can retreat to when he needs to, where he is not overly criticised, where his weaknesses or flaws are not nagged about and used against him, but his partner helps to turn these round into his strength. A place where he can allow the boy/guy in him to come out and freely play (when needed), just as much as the man in him is also allowed to be the man that he needs to and is expected to be. A person that will let him to have his down time and space when he needs to, with reason, (and vice versa) without having funny ideas or unnecessary thoughts running through their minds. '

True or False? Source

He wants a Woman with a Good/Pleasant Character and Personality 

Beauty, looks, a perfect and an alluring figure are traits that men would often look out for in a woman but in most cases, a man would naturally want to tend towards a woman who may not match up to 100% of the physical qualities they want, but has an exemplary character and a pleasant personality. This is not to say that the woman must be perfect, there isn’t a perfect one anywhere, but a woman who carries herself well, is friendly and nice when needed, polite, knows her flaws and strengths and doesn’t use these to the detriment of others will always trump one with all the world’s accolades of beauty, but without a pleasant character. Men love beauty! Don’t get me wrong, but we know that beauty does, can and will fade away... So we are mindful of what will be left in the coming years.... 

He wants a Woman that knows when to switch between being a Girl, a Lady and a Woman 

Just as much as there is a boy, guy and man in every male person, a man would also desire to have a woman who knows what part of her feminine side would be appropriate to be displayed at any/every given point in time. In serious/sensitive times, most men would prefer to see the lady/womanly side of their partner be the dominant side that comes out and possibly not the girl who just wants to play. And there are times that a man would want to play, like the boy on the playground would want to roam about wild. That’s probably not the best time he would want his woman to be acting all prim and lady like... 

He wants a Woman that is Prudent, Illustrious and Independent 

A woman who can hold her own but still knows when to switch hats and play the role of a partner, a support, or even take the reins (when and if necessary for the time needed). This is regardless of whether the woman is a career focused person, or a mother at home, or a vocation/business woman. A woman who is good with her hands, who can think, apply herself to her surroundings and situations appropriately is also largely desired (not one that will go spend the money for the mortgage on a pair of Louboutins!). Priorities. 

A Time to Shop and a time to save... #Priorities (Source)

He wants a Woman that would Respect Him 

This is a very tricky one (well not really) as everyone has “their own definition of what respect is”. I believe that respect begets respect, only sometimes in rare cases would you find someone who still respects the other when that’s not the “natural reaction” that is expected. When it gets to a point where a man is asking to be respected in a relationship, that relationship may be heading towards its expiry date. Respect should be natural, not forced, kinda one of those things that shouldn’t be asked, let alone demanded. When its forced, it won’t be easy to reciprocate. A man will gently bow out or not approach a woman that he feels doesn’t respect him or he finds hard to respect. 

He wants a Woman that will drive Him to love God More 

A man who loves God and has a budding relationship with Him would typically look out for a woman that will drive and draw Him closer to God. He understands that the power and ability to truly love another is only giving by God, when he himself experiences God’s love indeed. And to make sure that his purpose and mandate to love is fulfilled, a man would naturally look out for a woman who is not just fun to be with, but encourages him to seek God, love God more and in turn, he is able to present her back to God as his bride, just as Christ would look to present each one of us to God as His bride. 

Word! 

The truth is this: if a real man gets what he needs from a woman, he will have no reason not to invest in her, her well being, whether spiritual, social, emotional, financial, professional or vocational. You can be sure that a man will be a “real” man not because he gets what he wants first, but because he sees a good potential in a woman that he reckons is on the same page as he is, will be who she needs to be and is ready to do life with him, all the way, for the long haul. 

                                                                                                        ...................Lightchild

You can follow Lightchild on Twitter @light_child , Instagram @lightchildfamily and Facebook - LightChildFamily

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Alright, there you have it, what do you think? 

As I read it, I was like 'hmmmm'..... you might like to read my take on the Proverbs 32 man :-)

Alright, seriously though, I think my favourite would be the last one (obviously! lol).... A man who wants his woman to encourage him closer to God is definitely a good sign! I think it's really important to know who you are, love yourself and demonstrate that - or else, how can someone else love what you don't love or appreciate?

Next question floating in my head for ladies is this - What do Women Really Want? Please hep a brother out! Share and leave your comments too :-)

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No Short-Cuts, No Settling, No Yielding to Pressure

Don't

Have you ever been tempted to cut corners?

You've waited too so long for 'the promise' yet nothing seems to be happening.

Have you been mocked by people who felt that you were being quite slow/naive/foolish/dumb *insert other adjectives here* when you could easily find a quick solution to your problems.

Have you ever felt the pressure to just settle?

Well, I know someone who must have felt all that and probably a bit more. His name is Joseph and this particular incidence is quite popular. Indeed many times, reference is made to this story extolling his virtues of self-control, patience, discipline, integrity, loyalty and Godliness. You can read Genesis 39 for a full version of what happened between the slave Joseph and the wife of his master Potiphar (unfortunately, her name didn't get a notable mention)

However, I would like to imagine what Joseph's friends' reaction to his predicament would have been. Now remember, not many of them would have shared Joseph's sentiment nor faith. Joseph was special, he had been raised to know and respect the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Furthermore, he had a dream - not once but twice - about his imminent greatness. The only problem at the time was that his lofty dreams of grandeur put him in a low-life position garnished with a lot of trouble. From a favourable position, he became a slave in a foreign land. The dream seemed but a dream.

Now, something interesting happened. Something that he probably wouldn't have imagined or expected, something he definitely didn't plan. To many others, it might have seemed like part of God's plan, after all, all things work together for good...

His Master's wife was interested in him.. Not in his welfare or his development, no, like properly interested in him.. She could have borrowed the words of the popular song "Joey you should let me love you, let me be the one to, give you everything you want and need...") She made advances and unashamedly pursued with the simple request "lie with me".

I imagine Joey Joseph's colleagues and fellow slaves hearing about this 'golden opportunity' and patting him on the back, hailing him "You lucky boy, you! Your prayers have been answered! Indeed Your God is a great God!". "Do you know what it means to be the Madam's boy? We will all be at your service, bowing to you, treating you as the king of this place. You will be second Lord of the manor after Potiphar. We might even have to call you sir! See promotion! Please remember us in your kingdom ohh"

I can also imagine their surprise when he says that he won't be taking up the opportunity because of his faith

What????
Foolish boy / Missed opportunity!
God wants to bless you and you are proving 'holier than God'
You will never get this opportunity in 2 lifetimes!
You will die a slave boy!
What is wrong with you? Everyone is doing it! How do you think X,Y,Z made it??
Just do it once or twice.. Get the favour.. She will move on after a while
She will kill you! How dare you say no!!
If it were me... Oh God! Give me this blessing

Sounds familiar?

You're not alone. Many times, the 'popular choice' goes against your faith and belief and sadly, many have yielded and missed their real blessings and God-ordained destinies.

Don't be one of the 'many'.

Like Joseph, dare to be different. Dare to stand on God's word and promises, dare to stand against pressures and provocations. Dare to represent the God that you serve. Dare to wait on Him for His best.

Joseph did, and even though the initial response must have been hellish, ultimately it was designed to lead him to God's promise for his life. He could have missed it if he jumped at what looked like an opportunity for greatness but was all shades of wrong according to God's standards. He could have missed it if he decided to settle for the known rather than wait for the unknown.

If you are there right now, wait... be patient... It will come. No matter how long it has taken, you are closer to getting it than before. God never fails.

No short-cuts, no settling, no yielding to pressure..

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Mondays are About to Get Even More Exciting!

It's a Monday and I am pre-tty excited! :-D

It's been a while and I have really missed being here! How have you all been?

Ok, so we are fully back and Yayyyyyy! Lol

I am quite excited because we are introducing a brand new series on 1 + The One.

It's love, relationships and other things from a guy's perspective... And yes, we have a guest writer who will do the honours every Monday (by God's grace!)

It's time to get the Men talking!

I'm looking forward to sitting back, reading, enjoying, getting into the mind of a guy and absolutely loving it!

So yeah, the countdown officially begins... Next Monday, we go LIVE!!

There's no name yet, what do you think? Man Monday? Man Mystery Monday? Mystery Man Monday? MysteriousMonday? Monday ManDay? ManDay? Lol

Tell me what you think... Open to suggestions.

In the meantime, have a fabulous week and anticipate Monday!

Oh yeah, got questions for him in advance? Please feel free to send an email (details below)

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Dear Daddy

My dearest Daddy,

The Love of my life. My no 1! The One who comes first always in my life. My Help in ages past and my Hope for years to come. I adore You. I exalt You. I glorify Your name. I praise You King of glory!

Daddy, last time I wrote to You, it was from a place of despair and anguish. I was praying deeply for an answer to a particular prayer. I was so afraid as I couldn't imagine what would happen if You didn't answer the way I wanted You to. The real song I wanted to sing was:

Hear my cry oh Lord
Attend unto my prayer
From the ends of the earth will I cry unto You
When my heart is overwhelmed
Lead me to the Rock
That is higher than I

Alas, I believe You saw and heard my cry and even though the next morning, I found out that the answer wasn't what I asked for at all. Nevertheless, I have still come to You my source of comfort and joy to pour out my heart and to praise You.

I want to thank You because Your word says to thank You in all things, even when we don't understand. Thank You Daddy for my beautiful Aunty Maria's life. Even though she didn't stay with us as long as we desired, I thank You because she was able to live.

Thank You for giving her 40 wonderful years. Thank You for putting her in such  a loving and close knit family. Thank You for making her such a strong woman who was remarkable in many ways. Thank You for blessing so many people and this earth with the gift of her. Thank You for making her a vessel unto honour.

Thank You Daddy for giving her the sweet free gift of salvation. I am so so grateful to You for giving her the privilege of knowing You as Lord and Saviour - that makes the BIG difference. We will all leave this earth one day but it is glorious to know that after death, there's the promise of heaven and all its blessings and beauty. We finally get to see You face to face and experience love undiluted, peace unfathomable, joy unspeakable, praise unending. That thought makes me smile, it fills me with hope and for that I am extremely grateful Daddy.

I know I don't have to say this Lord, but please look after my Aunty, Your daughter. She's in the best place possible, with You.

Truth is. it's us who are left behind that need Your looking after more than ever. Comfort us, take the pain away, wrap us in Your arms and according to Your promise, turn our mourning into dancing again.

Thank You Daddy. I love You and I could never express just how much You mean to me.

Love You always and forever,
One xx

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

It's me again..

It's been so long I wrote to You here. I have missed doing this :-)

Just wanted to say that I love You and I know that You are in control. All power belongs to You.

Thank You for being my God, thank You for being my Anchor, thank You for being the Strength of my life.

My heart says thank YOU!

Love You today and always,
One xxxx

Teacher and Intercessor - Helper to My Man!

Here we go ladies and gentlemen!!

It's the final part of the series on Helper to My Man! I am glad that we've been able to explore the different attributes of a wife to her husband as his helper, looking at the role of the Holy Spirit, our Helper!

If you haven't seen any yet, please go go go on to our Youtube page and watch all previous Vlogs!

In today's one, we look at the wife as a helper being a teacher and intercessor.. What do you think?

Hope you enjoy watching and are blessed too! xxxx

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