Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Waiting and Loving It!!! Feat Rebecca and James Aladiran

Hello beautiful people!!

I present to you another edition of Waiting and Loving It!!

First time here?! Welcome! I love you already!! *cheesy grin*.. If you'd like an introduction to the series/project, please click HERE, HERE and HERE.

This week, we have a very beautiful couple whose feature took 7 mountains and 10 hills to achieve haha iKid.... All I can say is that the wait is well worth it and I am very grateful to Rebecca and James for taking out time of their very busy schedule to chat with us!

I know that you will be blessed by their real and very frank expressions!

Rebecca and James Aladiran
Hello Mr and Mrs Aladiran! A real pleasure to have you on the Waiting and Loving It 'seat' this week! You're welcome.. Could you please introduce yourselves?

Rebecca: Hello! We are Becky and James Aladiran and we lead a prayer movement called Prayer Storm: I lead worship and James leads the Intercession. We are in love with God and running after a grace enabled lifestyle that is holy and set apart to Him. We love to seek and worship Him and are on a journey after His presence. We also have a baby who turned 1 recently! I am 24 and James is 30 and we celebrated our two-year anniversary on the 28th of July which is the day after our baby's birthday. Our son is named Justice.

Hiya! I'm Justice Aladiran :-) Cuteeee!
I also train two days a week as a seamstress working for a Christian business called Wedding Angels ( that helps couples get married with everything they need. Hopefully in two years I'll be able to make a wedding dress from scratch!

James works full time at the Message Trust as their Prayer coordinator and splits his time there to also establish Prayer Storm which he will be transitioning into full time as it becomes a registered Charity in September!

James: Like my wife has said, I'm James and I lead a Christian Charity called Prayer Storm, I've been married for two years :-)

Thank you guys! Lovely to meet you.. So tell us James, how did you meet Rebecca?

         The Worship Leader & The Intercessor! :-D
James: I met Becky through prayer Storm. At the time I was looking to connect with musicians/worship leaders who had a heart for Prayer. I worked with her mum at The Message Trust and mentioned to her one day that I was looking to connect with young people with a heart for prayer. She recommended that I got in touch with Becky because she is a worship leader and has a heart for prayer.

Rebecca: I will let this video tell the story...
(1 + The One - Please, please watch and just be amazed + blessed + awww at it!)

..What was the attraction for you?

James: Her heart for God and the vision she had for her life was the same as the vision I had for mine.

And Rebecca?

Rebecca: I loved James' passionate pursuit of Jesus. I started out really respecting Him as a man of God and later fell in love with Him in a Prayer meeting! There's nothing more attractive than a man after Gods own heart!

That's really beautiful Becky. 
How did you know that "This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?"

Becky: I knew I wanted to spend my life with James because I knew he was God's best for me and our destiny was a powerful one together. I know that for me not to have married James would have cost me God's best for me in terms of my destiny and purpose in God. 

James: We became best friends and I fell in love with her. I felt in my heart that my destiny was connected with hers. Plus I felt God speak to me about it.

That's wonderful.. Now to the main question, what inspired your decision to wait? 

James: For me, I wanted to honour God and honour Becky. I knew it was the right thing to do.

Rebecca: When I hit puberty and started to develop and experience hormones, (wink wink nudge nudge) because of my lack of maturity and media exposure, I said to God "I don't know why it's important to wait, I only see sex as a pleasure thing but people call it making love and until I can understand the concept of making love I don't think I'm mature enough to make any kinds of decisions on sex." So I waited for understanding and prayed for Grace to keep myself pure because I knew I could easily have just given into very strong temptation + a truck loada hormones! 

Anyway when I was 17, I felt God tell me to leave College to do a gap year called Challenge Team UK which was a charity which sent a bunch of 18-25 year olds to tour the UK delivering assemblies and school & college lessons on saving sex for marriage. Although this charity was run by Christians, it wasn't a Christian charity and had no biblical content to its material shared in schools. They gave Christian training to us by a lady named Pam Stenzel (Sex Has a Price Tag) which was awesome and we went into schools and talked about the physical and emotional consequences of sex, the damaging effects of pornography, and how to build long lasting healthy relationships. We did it in a way that made sense and was fun and hilarious for the kids and young adults. We talked about sexual health, as well as pregnancy and contraception and their user failure rates which was scarily high man! But so many kids would thank me at every place I went to saying "I never knew I could just say no."

As much as I learnt and became wiser through these times I never became so thankful I waited until after marriage. After nearly 2 years I still say to my James, I'm so glad I waited! I'm not gonna get graphic but the first time we had sex, even though we had little idea of what we were supposed to do, it will always be my favourite time. Your 'first time' is probably the most vulnerable thing you'll ever do. To expose your whole self to someone for the first time is the time that usually sticks the most and I'm so blessed to have shared it with my James on our wedding night. 
I shudder at the thought of someone else knowing me that way. You'll never realise how precious your first time is until you've experienced it. I can't even stress it enough. It's more than just pleasure. Media and pornography have made it so impersonal and distorted. I remember a friend of ours who believed in waiting but just didn't, and ended up living with their spouse before marriage and he said to us after he got married (when we were engaged) that he never knew how important it was to wait until he got married and he wished he'd just waited and now I'm married I completely understand why. 

You know there are so many facts and statistics I've heard and known over the years that tell you saving sex for marriage is the best way, the most biblical, the safest and healthiest. Which I totally agree with, but I just wanna share with you from my experience that there's no greater gift than sharing your first time together with your spouse, and until you experience your wedding night for yourself you're just gonna have to take my word for it. :-)

Also, I have to say that it's NEVER too late to start waiting if you haven't. 

Thanks for that in-depth response Becky and for sharing your personal experience as well! Was it difficult though, like did you get to any point when you wanted to just let go and give in?

Becky: Oh Lord! Is that a rhetorical question? I don't understand people who find it easy. My advice to anyone is to find accountability that knows where you are and when, and asks you tough questions because you will want to let go and you will make it happen if you aren't accountable. Things that worked for us - Find someone you are honest with but you'd be way to ashamed to do something and then have them know. Cover yourselves in prayer. Don't stay up late. Try to be in public together. Guys don't think you're 'safe' around your lady because we can be just as horny as you fellas! Put a time limit on how long you spend time together. Watch where you put those hands! Girls dress extra modest around them. Leggings are not trousers you may see it that way but guys don't! lol. Guys be honest about your struggles with things your lady may be doing or wearing which is causing you to stumble. 

Honesty is key - Be honest and open with each other
James: No, I didn't just want to "just let go" lol. Yes, it was difficult, but we were both committed to staying pure till we got married so we made ourselves accountable to people around us. We both knew we had to fight for purity. In our eyes the victory was much more greater than momentary pleasure.  
I believe the power of sin is in secrecy. So, what we tried to do was to walk in the light and not have things hidden. We made ourselves accountable to people who could ask us the hard questions. We had physical limits i.e. no go areas in terms of touching, kissing etc... We set time limits too.

Thank you for that. Any advice you would give to yourself as a single person in preparation for marriage now you've crossed that line?

Rebecca: You're gonna be married for the rest of your life, singleness and waiting is quickly finished. 

James:  Let God do so much work in you that when you get married it is easier to reflect His heart and love to your spouse everyday. Surround yourself with Strong, Godly, pure men of God.

Nice one, noted! In 3 sentences, what's your experience of being married?

"Doing life with my best friend"
Rebecca: Doing life with your best friend and being one in everything. Dreaming together and for each other. Falling asleep in each others' arms!

James: Dreaming together, companionship and growing in God together.

Beautiful! Finally, before we go, it's PDA time! We always like to encourage you to publicly affirm each other -

Rebecca: James we've been through so much together and I'm glad it's you I've been through it all with. I never stop thinking about how perfect we are for each other and how I've never respected or looked up to anyone like I do you. I love doing life together and growing up together. I love you so much and can't wait for the future!

James: Thanks Becky for challenging me in so many areas to be more like Jesus. I love spending time with you and doing this thing called life together. I'm excited about the future and all that's ahead of us. I love you!!

"I love you!"

Awww *grabs tissue*.. I absolutely loveee reading every single Waiting and Loving It interview. It's a joy being welcomed into a little bit of these wonderful couples' world and it's even more beautiful learning and being inspired by their individual relationships with God and their decision to save sex till marriage.

I think the consensus is that it's not at all easy.. Like Rebecca responded when we asked if it was difficult, "Is that a rhetorical question?" lol.. Don't get it twisted, it ain't easy (at all, at all!) - Attraction is a wonderful blessing and managing it could be quite dicey! But by God's grace it's very possible..

Another thing that has been mentioned a few times is ACCOUNTABILITY! Be accountable. It's a good idea to have someone you can talk to and be honest with. It's not 'policing' you, it's just ensuring that you are not doing this alone and you can draw strength when those weak moments come.. 

By God's grace, I am Waiting and Loving It!!!

You like?
Please click HERE for other Waiting and Loving It Couples... And please don't forget to share too!


Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
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  1. I just want to reach into cyber space and hug this couple! Thank you Lord for people like this......indeed there remains a remnant! Praise God. Sisi, you forgot to tag me.
    Next time I will charge you o!

  2. Awesome........more reasons to wait on God. Loving every moment of it. Very soon, my story will be on here for all to read... amen


  4. Beautiful couple. Love their frankness.God bless your home and your ministry. May you continue to bring our God pleasure through the things you do and how you impact your generation. Thanks again the one. Very soon we shall read your own "waiting & loving it" By the way love the t-shirt. Get me one please

  5. awww, i love their honesty it so inspiring.

  6. Awwwwwwwwwwww. Too sweet. I really like her. She seems like someone who is super easy to talk to.
    I really loved reading this.
    By the way, I didn't see any video.

  7. I thought I had a problem but now I know its normal. Waiting is not easy but its worth it. I just love this couple and mehn she fine. Thanks for this series. I just can't get enough. I want to ask you for something *bats lashes*...can I have your top..the one up there *points finger*...pleaseeeeeeee

  8. Awwww
    This was such a beautiful read
    So inspiring

  9. Awwww
    This was such a beautiful read
    So inspiring

  10. I've been able to watch the video and there's more 'awwwwwwwww' I love them both. I love how he's dressed in the vid, very casual. And yes, she's very beautiful.
    I think this is my best waiting and loving it feature so far. So sweet.

  11. @Salt, I am reaching into cyber space to give you a hug!! lol.. Please don't charge... I shall not forget next time :-) I really appreciate your support and encouragement. It's priceless.
    @IBB, Amen! I can't wait to feature you!!!
    @Kayode, Welcome and thanks for your comment!
    @Anonymous, Amen! Thank you very much :-) Let's talk. RE: Tshirt :-D
    @Ms Cookie, I found it refreshing too
    @Tomilola, you're right, she's indeed a very sweet person
    @Moby, lol.. I love your comments.. Yes bebe, we can definitely discuss getting the tshirt! :-)
    @Janyl, it really is. I loved reading it too
    @Yayyy! The video for me is the icing on the cake!
    Thank you everyone xx

    I need the t-shirt too

  13. ......and that was how Tibs melted.....hehe

  14. awwwwww :) One of my fav Waiting and Loving it couple!

  15. @Grace, lol.. Thanks hun! *kisses*
    @Ernie, Hehehe.. You're a confirmed romantic Tibs! xx
    @Feyi, Nice!! :-)

  16. Encouraging post! I'm encouraged!

    I'd like some t-shirt tooooooo!

  17. What they are doing is so inspiring.
    I felt a little jealous when they talked on purpose and destiny.
    They are so amazingly focused and I am glad there are people like them abroad.
    This, because God needs more of His children who are aware and doing His purpose on earth so my prayer for them is that their love would wax more and more and abound so much, that they would fulfil God's divine purpose for their lives in Jesus name, amen.

  18. Ohhhh this look of Justice - so adorable lol more baby pics pls :D
    Same with your shirt, very nice! Do people ask you about the meaning when you walk around wearing this?
    Watched a video by James on fasting, very nice and spiritual guy. Thanks for pointing to so many great people!

    1. Seba Seba, could you pls send me the link to the video you watched on fasting? It's needed, thank you.

    2. How to fast - James Aladiran

  19. Justice is so cuteeeee! I'll just steal that pic to use as my dp.

    And once again, thank you Ayo for bringing another awesome couple on the series.
    One word keeps ringing in my head from this..#destiny
    #purpose as a couple
    #make that more than one word.

    Thank you Becky and James for being real with us. God bless your home continually

  20. awwww..
    their baby is a bundle of cuteness.
    love this feature.. so honest.

  21. @Tessa, it is a really beautiful interview. I was also inspired by their talk on purpose.. It's such a great thing to know what you are called to do. May we all find that purpose in Jesus name.

    @Sebs, He is a cutieeeee!! Thanks a lot!.. I have actually not worn the shirt in public, I was 'launching' it here and on Facebook :-D

    @Frances, Love it too! Those things resonated with me as well.. As in when I watched the video, I had to pause and think like "Ayo, does God speak to you about things like this".. You know like get a word.. So I was like I know God is not partial so I am going to ask!!

    @Yeva, Hiya! Thanks for stopping by and for your comment too :-) xx


  22. @Atinukemi, Yes, very honest.. I loved that. Thanks for your comment xx


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