Monday, 18 November 2013

How do I know for sure if I don't sample?!


So, last week, I wrote a post that I had been meaning to write on being proud to be a member of Team V! You can read it HERE

Now, I'm writing this post in response to one of the comments that was posted from a dear reader. Now, this comment did not come as a surprise as usually whenever this topic comes up, it is one of the most popular concerns/fears/questions about not 'testing the goods before buying' or as in this case, not sampling the dude or dudette before agreeing to spend the rest of forever (well at least while you breath) with this one person..

When I initially read the comment on my phone, I was like YES.. Let the discussions roll in, let's talk about it, let's get answers to questions we want to ask but don't quite feel comfortable asking before they think one is 'corrupt' (haha, who remembers when that used to be the worst insult everr?).. I was very grateful to my darling InThe for sharing her link HERE to help the person connect with the truth (God bless you InThe *kisses*).. I recommend you take a few minutes to read it too.. It talks about what sex is not.. very enlightening, especially for those in doubt..

Now, I remember saying once that marriage is one of the greatest acts of faith EVER! Imagine willfully committing your life, your plans, your future to someone else and saying that from now till forever on earth, you are the one that I want to wake up to each and every single morning, you are the one that I want to share the bringing forth of my future generation with, from now on, you share my history - you will ALWAYS be a part of my history. I choose you to walk with you as my partner on this journey called life, it is you that will have full access to my body and it is only you that I will 'romonce' for the rest of my life.. No scoping other guys/girls, even if I see a better looking/richer/more focused/more intelligent/more caring/more spiritual individual (because trust me, there will always better).... Now that could be a scary thought! Like really?! Forever? Forever and ever? No return policy? lol

And you go through this with very limited information... Limited, limited.. Because usually, even when you think I just KNOW this person Bam! they go ahead and reveal more unknowns (good and bad) after you say 'I do'.. You never fully know a human being.. Only God knows the make-up and capabilities of the indiviual HE created.. You see why you need Him?

Sex is an aspect of faith in marriage that being a virgin enables you to have.. How would I know that we will be sexually compatible? Am I sure that he/she can satisfy me? What if we don't know what to do? What if...?

"But without faith it is impossible to please God".. (Heb 11:6a)

Rephrasing - "When you have faith, you please God".. When you say "Lord, I know I cannot see it or I do not know it for certain, but I trust that you got me covered".. "Lord, you know me, I like to meddle, to be sure before I go into any venture, talk more of such a HUGE commitment, however, I will obey you because I know that You will sort me out" - You please God. That takes GREAT faith..

So ladies and gentlemen, on this issue, you have two choices - you can decide to take matters into your own hands and test the goods to be sure and live with the choice you make with your very limited ability or you can choose to say okay Lord, my wisdom doffs it's hat to yours, over to you, I trust You.... And please Daddy, make it super-liciously GREAT! *wink*

You KNOW God always delivers.. and as you like it - Big, small, medium, super, super strength.. He did say "Ask and you will receive" (Matthew 7:7)

He sure does!


  1. "Sex is an aspect of faith in marriage that being a virgin enables you to have.. “

    I LOVE THIS!!!! I have absolutely nothing else to add. You killed it! Praise God for this enlightenment.

    1. Why r u hiding your identity

  2. Funny thing is, you don't ever know. Even if you 'sample' it before you marry, there's no guarantee it would be great after the marriage. Sex is something you work at, just like your marriage. Secondly, a human being isn't an object that you just 'taste' and drop if you don't like it. Getting the idea that you can 'sample' someone before deciding whether to love them for the rest of your life won't lead to any good really. You'll just develop a 'if it doesn't taste right i don't want it' attitude. But guess what? In marriage, Some days are fantastic, some days are not. But that's ok! Have faith that the good will outweigh the bad and God will

  3. sex is an aspect of "faith" in marriage :)

    another thing is if I love someone and he loves me, we will learn with time.

    making love (not random sex) is all give and take, it takes time to know what your parthner loves and wants.. in marriage, it's something I believe couples should talk about, work on and improve on. like other aspects in our lovers...

  4. Reading this, the first thing that came to my mind was that old song, "Let's talk about sex". Loll

  5. Let he who has an ear hear....:) *drops mic*

  6. 5years into marriage and the hubby and I still learn things about ourselves and sex that surpases styles, size and point is, after you're done sampling and find the most compatible sexual partner, what next? When there are dry seasons or when life happens and there's a shortage of mind blowing sex sessions, what next?
    Like you said the choice lies in each individual, limited wisdom vs infinite wisdom...the ball is in each ones court

  7. I totally agree with this, It faith mhen faith.

  8. I choose to trust him oh. I strongly believe

  9. Marriage itself is an act of couldn't have said it better. Putting it like that makes looks, height, weight, and some other mundane things like "sampling" pale in comparison to the idea that you have to spend the rest of your life with JUST ONE person. God bless you for this post.

  10. Looooooooove it! "you have two choices - you can decide to take matters into your own hands and test the goods to be sure and live with the choice you make with your very limited ability or you can choose to say okay Lord, my wisdom doffs it's hat to yours, over to you, I trust You" Spot on sister!

  11. This just reiterates what I told my roomate..we were talkn abt Perry's movie temptations,whr d wife slept wt d other guy cuz her husband wasn't gvn it to her like she wanted and she didn't knw wat 2compare him to cuz she had never been wt anyone else(words d man told her)..I told my roomate dat I don't want another man to check me "there" I want only my husband,the one for me to check it and I don't need 2av one to compare him to,both of us will learn and grow in ways 2satisfy ourslvs,we'll work at it till we get it right. And that's just it.
    As for testing the goods,all I'll say is a human being is not a car u can test run or goods to be checked.we r worth far more than that and shud treat ourslvs as such.that is all

  12. And what happens if after testing,u still don't get it right later?
    After sampling urslf wt plenty and they don't marry u?
    Wat do u do?
    Keep sampling and be reducing the brideprice like that?
    We need 2place more worth on our bodies.not evry1 shud be allowed to enter into our holies of holy all cuz we want to test.
    I really pray youths and unmarried Christian ladies and guys see d real truth in dis.God help us all.

  13. I eman, I love the FAITH aspect you brought to bear here nne...
    SEX IN MARRIAGE too just like other aspects of our life is by FAITH and we LIVE by faith in this kingdom...
    Sampling? That is even a derogatory word. last i checked, my body is an ORACLE of God and has a TOUCH NOT sign on it unlike the Ifa oracle which they have to keep toucching and prodding...
    I can trust my Sugar daddy on a whole lot of stuff... MY SEX LIFE INCLUSIVE
    I also love the SEX CONFESSION Mrs. d put up on her blog
    My darlings who think we should maybe sample first, trust God eh. The plans He has for us WILL TOTALLY RIDICULE THE BEST PLANS WE CAN EVER HAVE FOR OURSELVES...

  14. Oh dang
    Didn't know i was commenting with my Gmail account
    Ajaero is E'
    And i meant MEAN not eman...

  15. Sampling leaves you really confused, I would rather let God lead me. cheers!

  16. @InThe, Thank you hun.. you inspire me xx
    @Tamie, thanks dear xx
    @Naijawife, spoken like the guru that you are! :-) Thank you xx
    @Abi, yes, communication is key!
    @MsTizzle.. "let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good thnings..." lol
    @jhazmyn, Amen.. let us hear oh! God help us. Thanks dear xx
    @Tommie, it takes faith oh!
    @thislagosgirl, Amen! I choose to also! Thanks for stopping by dear xx
    @Damilola, amen! It can be a scary thought but for God! :-) xx
    @Gee, Yes ma'am! Thanks a lot for stopping by! Love your blogs xx
    @Frances, Amen!Very true, we are worth far above rubies and should be treated as such, not a common commodity! Who uses Swiss lace to hold hot pot handle? lol
    @E aka the newest bride, as always, on point! 'DO NOT TOUCH until you have paid the price of full commitment
    @Tosin, wise choice! Thanks for stopping by and commenting hun.
    Thanks you everyone! xxxx


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