Thursday, 11 April 2013

Trust?! Err..

If you say you trust him / her, act like you do..

I used to have trust issues and I also wanted to be in a mutually committed and faithful relationship.. Can you already tell where the trouble would start?

Well if you can't tell yet, I will be happy to let you know.. It made me very paranoid and extra-nosy.. My friends fondly refer to me as Investigator Extraordinnaire (IE)..

So usually, here is the drill - Girl meets nice guy, girl thinks hmmm something good in the offing, girl starts MAJOR investigating paroles.. (I was also kind enough to offer free services to my friends :-)

Social media doesn't help my situation.. facebook et al and then GOOGLE is my best friend! When I lived in the UK, it made it a lot easier.. Everything there is on the internet so if I type your name, information will come up and I will be able to deduce what you do, if you do, how you do etc etc (Are you shaking your head at me, I  know I am doing it myself!)

Well, as you would also be able to tell, it didn't work out well for me at all.. So many things I could point out, but end point was that it made me a very bad partner / girlfriend etc.. I used to say to myself "Don't kill yourself before your time"

I was so fixed on ensuring that I wasn't being taken for a fool or being cheated on that I checked and checked!

Now, some people may have issues like this and let me say (as you probably already know), it is one of the the most unhealthy habit to have in a relationship.

1. A major factor in relationships is TRUST. If you don't trust him / her, you shouldn't be with them.
2. Sometimes, trust issues are purely an individual thing, it's the state of YOUR mind.
3. The first step to renewing your mind is to admit that you have issues in that area for whatever reason (previous relationship, bad experience in life, family history etc)
4. You need God to help you! You need to openly admit it and pray to God for help to break that pattern.
5. Don't rush into relationships, as bad relationships only worsen the situation.
6. Keep busy. As flippant as it sounds, the worst periods of nosiness and paranoia is when you have nothing to do.
7. Re-affirm yourself. Have faith and confidence in yourself enough to believe that you are worth being with.
8. Resist the urge! No, don't look at their phone / facebook inbox etc
9. When you fall, ask God again for grace! And then start again

I will be glad to know what you think or if you have any helpful suggestions?

God bless xx


  1. And i thought i had trust issues. Yours is on another level. I was never this paranoid. I've actually asked this before and you can check it here and the comments too:

  2. LOL... Thank God my issues have seriously minimised infact almost getting to th epoint of being extinct! *I'm a work in progress* lol

    I'll certainly check yours out, thanks a lot for your comment. God bless you babe xx

  3. I’ve NEVER had trust issues, if I get the vibe that trusting you will be unwise, I just keep it moving before it gets too complicated.

  4. I know what you mean.. I have come to realise that it lies largely with me and by God's grace as I have come to realise it, I am working on it *God help me!* xx


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