Married and Loving It!!! Feat Sade and Femi Lawal

Hello all!

It's the 2nd Married and Loving It edition and I am delighted to be interviewing this beautiful couple!

A big thanks to everyone who commented on the very first post of the series a fortnight ago! The feedback has been really wonderful and I thank God for bringing this project to life! If you haven't read it + an introduction to the series, you can catch-up HERE.

How have you been? It's been a while *covers face* I have missed you all.. I apologise for the unscheduled hiatus I am also very grateful to everyone who checked in! You are simply amazing! God bless you immensely!!

On to today's couple - They are people I respect and admire. I have worked quite well with the Mrs in the past year on a project and she is such a phenomenal go-getter and mover! The first time I got to 'know' her was through an article she wrote in Avantgarde magazine, sharing a very powerful personal experience in her marriage and how God gave her and her husband a great testimony! I hope that with her permission, I would share that story on here one day. Her faith and passion for God are truly admirable.

I have also known the Mr from afar and one word that could be used to describe him is 'dedication'. He is also a very personable and kind person. I thank God that they agreed to be featured today (on very short notice). OnePlustheOne is immensely grateful to our lovely couple of the week - Mr and Mrs Folasade and Femi Lawal.

Be blessed!

*********************************************************

Hello and welcome to Married and Loving It Mr and Mrs Femi-Lawal! We are glad to have you as our guests for the week! Congratulations on 16 years of marriage! Please tell us more about yourselves.

Mrs Femi-Lawal: We really bless the name of the Lord for 16 awesome years of being married to each other and 3 years of courtship, making it 19 years of knowing each other! Like I wrote in my Facebook tribute to the man of my dreams, it has been a journey marked with the faithfulness of God that has seen us through different kinds of experiences, love, abundance, breakthroughs, unbelievable miracles, loss of a child, extreme pain, doubts and fears about tomorrow, lack, suffering, confusion, indecision, betrayal etc. One thing stands out, my heartthrob loves and cherishes me, and I adore him because he means the world to me! Till date, he still shops for me head to toe because if you drop me off in the centre of the UK or USA, my shopping areas are Primark, Dollarshop and Poundland (infact I close down Poundland buying my household items which he calls JUNK), but 'Ololafemo' surely knows what he wants at Harrods, Next, Dillards, Macys of this world etc. I was transformed from a 'beret-wearing' holy Sister to a fashionable icon that is on fire for God and my Man!

Mr Femi-Lawal: We have been married for 16 wonderful years during which I have experienced the blessings of God in diverse ways. To be honest, I believe I got more than what I asked from God. It's like He just decided to wow me with His blessings all loaded in the wife of my youth. She is a wonderful giver, very God fearing, a teacher of the word, a good and Godly example to our children. She is my chief planner and organiser. Everything I bring before her in discussion receives a godly breath. I am so grateful for having her as my sparring partner in this tough Christian race.

Wowiee! What a beautiful introduction! I couldn't help but laugh at the 'beret-wearing' sister description (lol).. God is so awesome! Thank God and congratulations again on 16 interesting and eventful years! How did you meet?

Mrs Femi-Lawal: We met at Coopers and Lybrand now PriceWaterhouseCoopers (PWC) on the 16th of  October, 1995 as Trainee Accountants. I was counselling and advising him not to have specifics about the lady of his dreams as per height, weight and vital statistics among other things as a believer and I took him up as a project to show him the reality of life in God regarding making a choice in marriage. I didn't realise he had his eyes on me. Lol

Mr Femi-Lawal: We met at Coopers and Lybrand where we were both Trainee Auditors. We became friends and later discovered we shared a few things in common with respect to ideologies and this drew us further closer. Before I knew it, I used to escort her home…and my God I can’t forget the many years of waiting at Choir rehearsals on her to finish..sometimes I would wait till 10, 11pm. Those were budding years of our relationship.

Awww... (note to ladies, if he is not willing to wait for your choir/drama/ushering rehearsal, he is not ready for commitment! :-D).. And of course, thank God for the gift of counselling too :-)

Mr and Mrs Lawal, we know that the wedding day is usually one of the most special days in the life of a couple, could you share 3 memorable moments from that day with us?

Mrs Femi-Lawal - Experience 1- The groom's car chauffeur (a family friend) drove back home to rest during the wedding service, assuming that the service would be long, forgetting that my church (RCCG) don’t waste time. Also, there were no mobile phones then to monitor the gentleman. lol. We ended up enjoying the jolly ride to the reception with my parish pastor, Province Pastor Farinu - a good man, after a long wait.

Experience 2- If you are a ‘kept woman' at 28 like moi, and still untouched (aka Virgin), then, prepare for the painfully sweet journey of discovery of the real thing called sex. In fact, the next day (a Sunday) in church for thanksgiving, one of the mature women came to implore moi to walk properly, as my 'steppings' were telling the story of the night before.

Experience 3- The day October 31st 1998 was a beautiful sunny day, the wedding service was set for 11am, being an 'Environmental' Saturday in Lagos with its attendant traffic, but we prayed and heaven supported us as Environmental Sanitation day was cancelled suddenly by the State Government on Friday.

Experience no 2 got me laughing out loud).. Thank you so much for your realness and honesty ma'am.. Mr Lawal?

Experience 1 – I didn't allow my wife to dance too much at the reception as she was dancing more than me, so I picked her up and went straight to the high table.

Experience 2 - The wedding night was very good.

Halleluyah!.. Now this made me laugh out even more! Praise God for that sir! :-) Thank God you started married life on a great note, how did the next few years as a newly married couple go?

A lot of adjustment and learning, sometimes tough but mostly eye-opening to balance my relationship with the man I love and his fixed assets (relations). I am blessed because my hearthrob’s family is a warm and loving one so it was not difficult to adjust quickly. My mother-in-law of blessed memory was absolutely in love with me, her first son’s wife. Issues will come, extraneous factors but the strong foundation of our love for each other helped to weather the storm.

That's wonderful, thank you very much!

Now, we come to the part in Married and Loving It where we ask our guest-couple to list according to the number of years they have been married, Things Marriage has Taught Them.. Here goes..

16 THINGS MARRIAGE HAS TAUGHT US - Mr and Mrs Femi-Lawal

1. Unity of Spirit, Soul and Body is the ultimate thing. Don’t ever compromise this for anything.

2. In all things, at all times, no matter the situation, be grateful to God for your spouse. In fact, we encourage couples to keep a ‘gratitude journal’ where you record the things you are grateful for in your spouse. This helps to keep sanity when you drive each other up the wall. You can always 'report' your spouse to God via the Thanksgiving mode. Remember whatever you appreciate does not diminish.

3. Sustain the ‘Fire, Hot Romance and The Chase’ in your marriage. This helps to keep the marriage fire burning. For example, our wedding anniversary, October 31st is always a carnival of some sort. The most recent one, our 16th was celebrated in style, fresh flowers and chocolates were delivered to my office from Monday through Friday. On the D-day, I had so many gifts, you would assume it were my birthday or Valentine's Day.

4. Take care of the customer - Food
    Take care of the customer - Sex
    Take care of the customer - Sex

My heartthrob takes home-made food to work irrespective of the nature of my job (I am a Banker/Accountant/Singer/Worker/Mother of four and I've been for the past 16 years!)

5. Surround your spouse without suffocating each other. Send love notes, hot text messages, encouragement at work, share jokes, check on each other during the day.

6. BE REAL! If there is anything that has worked for us thus far, we are real people serving a real God. This changes everything. No forming please.

7. Learn to forgive, forgive and forgive. I tell my heartthrob because I want to see my God in glory, I have prepaid his forgiveness way ahead of his mistakes. Tough decision, but it helps to stay free before God and Man.

8. De-emphasise money in your relationships. It does not matter who earns the fattest pay cheque, it comes into the same family pot.

9. Stay close to God, The Author and Finisher of your Faith. When all is said and done, He is the only constant factor that does not change in the face of changing circumstances. We have learnt to wait on God in the face of serious challenges and He always comes through for us.

10. Complement each other. Enjoy the benefit of each other’s strength. For example, he has eyes for good and classy things, the shoppers' delight, he is also extremely good with arranging stuff in the bags while travelling. On the other hand, she is gifted as the family book-keeper, accountability officer, domestic affairs manager and intercessor.

11. Teach your children early to love and serve God. As a family, every Sunday for the past 4 years, we lead our 4 awesome children to share tracts around the shopping mall within Lagos. They also take daily family devotion. Their age bracket is between 5 - 14 years.

12. Hold each other accountable for commitment to the marriage and children's discipline. We run a 'no nonsense'and fun-loving structure. Each child has a responsibility that is outside the the domestic support structure. For example, the teenager is the Devotional Pastor and enforcer of rules, the 10-year old is the family cook and chores master, the twinnies are bible-readers and room organisers. This comes in handy when you need to exercise the gift of goodbye to the weird or lazy nanny.

13. Be a Man and Woman of Integrity! Your spouse should be able to beat his/her chest for you anywhere on most issues. It is a good legacy to leave for your generation.

14. Kiss Often, Hold hands Often, Make fun of each other and laugh at each other. Don't take life too seriously.

15. Please take note that it is not every prayer that God answers! But at the end, God's will is revealed beyond your wildest imagination. Why? We prayed for our very sick son 12 years ago, God answered and still took him away. We thought God had failed us but He answered with another son and twin girls 4 years and 7 years after.

16. Be dedicated to each other! Our children know that we do have 'Us time' and they have come to grudgingly accept that their mum and dad come first before them and our anniversary days are for us to be left alone :-)

The Femi-Lawals with their twin girls :-)

**************************************************

I am sure you loved reading this feature as much as I did! I loved the sincerity of the interview. It was great to read the God-factor clearly evident in their relationship and the practical aspect employed as well! I thank God for the Femi-Lawals and for giving them 16 beautiful years together.. Love is a truly beautiful thing, it takes work but its fruits are immensely rewarding.

Like the couples featured on the Married and Loving It series, God can give you an excellent marriage! It would not be devoid of storms/challenges but with God, you can ride them out together and come out stronger and better.

Once again, immense gratitude to Mr and Mrs Femi-Lawal for being a blessing to us today! Our prayer is that your home will continue to be an example, and inspire others to have faith in marriage, and in the God who made marriage.

****************************************************

Do you have any questions or comments please send us an email oneplustheone@gmail.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone
Twitter: @1plustheone
Instagram: @1plustheone

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

Love of my life, it's been a week and a half. Through it all, I remain forever grateful to you for all that you do. 

Master of the Universe, my all in all, without You I am nothing. I am incomplete, my savour is lost... With You, I am whole, I am me, I am unstoppable, I am complete. 

Thank You for being my Anchor, my run-to God, my God in and out of season. Thank You for the great privilege. 

I love You Daddy, with all of me. 

Always yours,

One xx

Dear Daddy

My darling Daddy,

My Joy, my Peace, my Source, my Help, my Indispensable Friend and Saviour that I absolutely cannot do without. 

It's been a very busy week and I thank You for holding my hand through it all. Thank You for giving me strength, thank You for Your grace, thank You for infusing my life with surprises that money cannot buy. 

I rejoice in You, God of my youth. You have been a consistent constant in my life. I am forever grateful to You for bringing me out of darkness into Your marvellous light when I was but a little girl. The older I grow, the deeper my level of understanding of that great transition, and consequently, the depth of my unending gratitude to You. I am excited about the fact that the knowledge of You is inexhaustible, therefore no matter how much I think I know, I find that there is even MUCH more I don't know. *smiles*. How great is that?! How GREAT are You!

You who know the heart of man, yet still love unconditionally. You are privy to all our shortcomings, failings and inadequacies, yet it does not diminish Your love for us. Infact You demonstrated Your love for us by sacrificing Yourself while we were still very deep in sin - You are Amazing GOD!

I wish I could say more, I wish I could express it better but I hope these simple words would suffice a little - Daddy, I am in love with You. 

Thank You for loving this little girl. 

Your own,

One xx

Conversations with One: Would You Sacrifice Your Career/Dream for Him/Her?

Hiya! It's another edition of Conversations with One! *cue music*

A little introduction for first-timers:

Conversations with One is a chat-series on the blog.

Each week, the 1 + TheOne panel (made up of beloved and very wise friends with a variety of personalities) and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. We talk about any and every thing!!

Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

You can have a look at the last conversation where we had a very interesting discussion on the importance of your significant other/partner getting along with your family. You can read it and other previous episodes HERE.

We present to you the topic of conversation for the week:

"Does it make sense to make career sacrifices for someone you are in a relationship with (not yet married to)?"

Now, we know that love makes us make many wonderful (?) decisions... Do you think it is wise to give up a dream or lucrative job/business or opportunity because of someone you're in a relationship with?

*********************************************************

Miss TrueTalk: I do not think it's reasonable to make career sacrifices while still in a relationship. Especially if we are talking about leaving your present job or career path to up and pack your whole load to move to another state or country. It's like putting your life on hold for someone who is not yet 'confirmed'.

Confirmed like this? :-)

One: Thank you for that! Personally I think it's a very dicey situation.. You never know until the dotted lines are signed + I believe from personal experience that if your partner loves you and actually wants the best for you, he/she would not encourage you to desert your dreams to follow him/her, rather they are looking for ways to support you and ensure that you achieve your potential.

Mr Agbalagbaski: There's a difference between 'not yet married to' and 'enroute' one. If you're enroute towards one, then necessary sacrifices are important. As mentioned, one needs to make sure that discussions have taken place and you're convinced before leaping. 

One: That's a new one 'Enroute'.. lol

Mr NumeroUno: I echo Mr. Agbalagbaski.
Love as most of us might agree in itself is a risk. Furthermore, marriage in itself is a risk. So if one has to wait until one is married before making sacrifices. What happens to those who do and yet end up in divorce?

Look at it this way. Am I going to go on a boat across oceans for fear of a plane crash? Will I never go on the motorway because I have seen accidents or have been told road accidents occur ever frequently? Of course I wouldn't take such extreme cautions.

Rather, if necessity requires a trip via air, I'll rather take the necessary risk, pray as I embark on every journey, whether by road, air, rail or by sea. That is what faith is. Trust in God is constant and requires renewal day after day, again and again and again.

In the same vein, we are not prescribing stupidity and throwing caution to the wind. Please be sensible and be like David. Before you embark on a journey enquire from God. Shall I go? Are you in this? 

True or False?

Ms TrueTalk: I believe there has to be a certain level of commitment and understanding between the couple to enable such a decision/ sacrifice to be made. You wouldn't want to have a 'had I known' situation some time in the future, most especially if you don't end up with the individual. Also, whatever sacrifices you make should be your ultimate decision, so you don't spend the rest of your life blaming someone else for your "misfortune".

Ms NumeroUno: I learnt a big lesson from a story in Judges 20.
In this story, the children of Israel ask God before embarking on a war with a fellow tribe, Benjamin. God said in verse 18 send Judah first. They went but were defeated by a small tribe like Benjamin.

So you ask, how can God say I should go and yet I suffer humiliation. It was a test. By the time we get to verse 28 God gave them Victory.
The only time we can say don't be stupid in making sacrifices is on occasions where one has not heard God. If Ruth was playing wise and had refused to abandon her career whatever it was to follow Naomi. She will never have become the star that she is today. 

Take a leap of faith! source

Don't be stupid yes. But don't be too smart and too wise to end up cheating yourself. If you have to take the leap, ask God. If He okays it, please go on. Remember even the lost can be restored. So please ride on if God endorses the relationship and the move.

Mr Motivation: I think I lean towards the line of thought of NumeroUno...lol. But will also like to add that the terms and conditions in a relationship vary from that of a marriage. Hence highlighting the need to define where that relationship is headed i.e. purpose of being together. With that being the case, decisions to be made at the relationship level should be one that serves as a catalyst to reaching or achieving the desired objective or purpose, which ideally should be marriage. Decisions in a marriage setting on the other hand should be one that ensures the sustenance of the marriage and enhances the quality and experience in the marriage.

One: I love that!

Mr Motivation: In summary, decisions in a relationship should have as a guide, the end goal (marriage) as a basis and that of marriage should be its sustainability and quality of experience. Above all, every decision in both circumstances should always obtain the required divine backing, for every godly decision brings PEACE (Isaiah 32:17)

One: The men have come out in full force for this one! Niceee.. iLikey! Thank you very much. It's interesting that your opinions are very similar :-)

League of Men :-D

I have a question for the men - Would you move location or leave your job/career or dream for a lady that you are in a relationship with/en-route marriage (I think as Christians, we go into relationships with an 'enroute marriage' mind anyway)....

Kindly answer with examples were possible.. thanks *smiles*

Mr NumeroUno: It depends on what you mean by dream. If by dream you mean a motorbike or yacht, and the lady says it's not a wise investment for now and prefers a House in Malibu, California. Sure why not? If however you mean dream related to 'God given vision'. I dare say that, such will be an anomaly. Attention is on GOD GIVEN. A woman is designed to be help-meet. Call me conservative, but I don't think we can say men are given that same job description by God.

If my calling and next assignment is in Port Harcourt, and I'm currently in New York, and Madam is already settled in PH. Then there is no qualms moving over to PH.

Or to be more practical. Assuming I'm an Evangelist or Diplomat who moves from station to station and madam has a stable job in a place, I think it is important for her to feel secure, and her input, feelings and opinion as to where home should be is highly crucial and significant. That's an example I can think of to stress that there is no straightforward answer. It will depend on what the dream, vision, purpose, goal and present circumstances are.

One: Thanks Número Uno! I was waiting to read the response from the men because I kinda guessed that it would not be straightforward lol.

Mr NumeroUno: Lol, on a whole I think a woman should be sceptical about a man with no purpose or who can easily discard their 'God given' dream. The self inspired dreams can be polished and realigned by the help of a godly woman. Men can sometimes be very selfish. We sometimes forget to look at the wider picture, and that's where a godly woman comes in. 

One: I appreciate your points. So in clear terms, no a man shouldn't give up his dreams?

Mr NumeroUno: Yes. Job yes! A man can change jobs. Career change is also not too big a challenge. But dream. Hmm! Especially God-given dreams. Men are not designed to change that one.

What do you think? Do you agree? Would you give up your job or dreams because of someone you are in a relationship with? Please tell us in the comment box.

*********************************************************

Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone
Twitter: @1plustheone
Instagram: @1plustheone

Also, if you have any questions or comments please send us an email too oneplustheone@gmail.com

New Vlog! Getting to know you and New Blog Series

Hello everyone!

Hope the midweek-day is going well? :-D

We started a new series on the blog yesterday 'Married and Loving It!!!' If you haven't had a look, please scroll down the blog to read.. I'm sure you will be blessed *smiles* (I picked this from Mrs Salt yesterday.. I think I like it better than :-) lol)..

Also, yesterday we posted a Vlog where I talked about a few things I'd like to start on the blog - particularly getting to know YOU better, share with you and importantly, pray with you.

Please watch to know more!!

Married and Loving It!!! Feat Bola (Salt) and Henry Nelson *New Series*

I am a very excited woman today! We are starting a brand new series today on the blog. It has been 'cooking in my head' for a very longg time but taking off has been postponed and postponed (a lot of procrastination here)..

It was inspired by one of my dear friends and reader of the blog in response to the Waiting and Loving It Series. She said she loved the Waiting and Loving It series but that in addition, it was equally important to show what happens years after the first few years of doe-eyed love. We hear of marriage break-ups again and again and unfortunately, more people are losing faith in this beautiful institution founded by God!

This mini-conversation birthed the 'Married and Loving It' series. Married and Loving It will be alternated on Tuesdays with the regular Waiting and Loving It series and would feature couples who have been married for 10years and above. We hope that they will share with us a little of their journey thus far and useful tips (from personal experience) to sustaining a marriage, keeping the fire alive, managing conflicts and so many things I don't know (as I am yet to sign the dotted lines myself haha).

I am extra-delighted to introduce to you our first couple on this series. It's interesting how God connects us with great people in wonderful ways. I had followed Mrs Nelson's blog (and social media platforms) for a while and I loved the way she wrote straight from her heart in a way that touches you. I discovered that we attended the same church (Shout out to RCCG City Of David - Where the love of God reigns and dreams come through, where legends are born and tomorrow's history is experienced today :-D), however we only met properly a few weeks back! 

To make it even more interesting, even though I met her 'virtually' long before her husband, I met him face-to-face before I met her as we are both on the same course in church and work together on the committee! I love the way God works! :-)

Ladies and gentlemen I talk too much when I am excited so let me not bore you any further but go straight to our beautiful foremost couple of this series - Mr and Mrs Abimbola (Salt) and Henry Nelson!!

***********************************************************

Hello Mr and Mrs Nelson, It's a great pleasure and privilege having you as our first couple on the Married and Loving It 'Hot Seat'. Thank you very much for taking time out to respond to us. Could you please start by telling us how long you've been married?

The Nelsons: (Mrs) I still marvel at God’s mercies and faithfulness when I think that my Mighty Good Man (MGM) and I have been married for twenty-one (21)years now. Come, 01 May 2015, we will hit 22 years! I promise, it is purely a God thing! 

Wow! Congratulations, that's wonderful. How did you meet your MGM?

The Nelsons: I met Henry in my second year of University. We both went to the University of Uyo. So while we have actually been married for 21 years, we have been together since 1985! That makes it 29 years! Even I am amazed! *smiling*,

I am smiling along with you ma'am. That's really special, thank God. 

Now I don't know if you can remember your wedding day, but we'd like to know moments you recollect from that day?

The Nelsons: The part I love most about that day, the 1st of May 1993 was that it did not rain! It was a serious prayer point for me because the reception was to be outdoors. It was a lovely sunny day and I just thank God for that. I loved how my MGM tried to out-dance me on the way in. Our first dance too was special to me because we danced to my favourite song at the time. It was Boys II Men’s ‘End of the Road’ - I know, not the best in terms of song title considering we were just starting our lives together. But you know what? Now, as I look back, I see it as a prophetic song over our lives. In the past 21 years, we have faced some real ‘end of the road’ situations BUT God always always stepped in and just like the song says we never ‘let go’. Our marriage is still standing strong and our love has grown deeper. 

Awww, thank God for that. That's beautiful. (Ladies and gents, pay attention to your wedding song, it just might be prophetic :-)). Now, we often hear that the first 3 years of marriage are not the easiest, is that true? How was it for you?

The Nelsons: The first 3 years? If I had to use one word, it would be ‘Bewildered’. We spent the first 7 years actually trying to figure out ‘who on earth we had married’. You would think that having known each other since University would make it easier. This was not the case. So there was a lot of ‘discovering’ to do and we did not do it very well, I am afraid. This is why I tell young couples to use the dating period well. It is not a time to pretend at all. Be yourself 100% so that whatever you are showing is the REAL you. If you cannot cook, don’t pretend. If you are not a beach person, don’t pretend to like the beach. If your idea of a night out is sitting at home reading a book, be open about that but show you are willing to do other stuff because you care about the interests of the one you love. 

Aww, thank you very much for that, *note to self* "Be real at all times, no forming". 

Thank you very much for that.

Now, we come to a part in Married and Loving It where we ask our guest-couple to list according to the number of years they have been married, Things Marriage has Taught Them.. Here goes..

21 THINGS MARRIAGE HAS TAUGHT US - Mr and Mrs Nelson
(Can we just say before you read that we are no marriage guru. We are just a couple sharing our own take on life based on our experiences in life to date. It is good to learn from your own mistakes but it is wise to learn from the mistakes of others *smiling*. It will be a blessing if just one person takes away something from here that will help their marriages now or in the future). - The Nelsons

1. In Marriage, Love is not a feeling. It is a choice. And sometimes you don’t feel like making that choice BUT you do in obedience to the God you made your vows to.

2. When you are dating, you can get away with the idea that you love someone because 'they are fine/kind/gentle or they do XYZ' but the moment you decide to marry the person, your love must become UNCONDITIONAL. If you intend for your marriage to last, you must decide to love ‘just because’ for I can tell you for free that the day will come when your spouse will not look so fine or be so kind! Will your love just die then?

3. There is no such thing as a readymade soul mate. That title is earned. Over time. For instance, my MGM is my soul mate. I know that NOW because of all that we have gone through and today I can put my hand to my heart and say I never want to be with anyone else.

4. Trust is the bedrock of your marriage. DO NOT do anything that will break it.

5. Honestly, the only 3rd party you need in your marriage affairs is Jesus Christ. I respect all the elders and counsellors out there but at the end of the day, it will take you, your spouse and God to keep your home.

6. Be an OPEN BOOK to your spouse. Nothing is too little to share. There is nothing like the ‘Power of Clean hands’. Even if you are woken up from sleep, you can answer any questions without thinking because your hands and heart are clean.

7. Communication is key. Study your spouse and find out what works. How best to enjoy your time together and get the gist flowing.

8. Remember that one size does not fit all so DO NOT compare your marriage to anyone else’s. NEVER compare your spouse to anyone. It hurts and does not help.

9. Sex is SUPER important. I believe that where love rules, both parties will come to understand how to make this work for the relationship.

10. Be committed to making your spouse feel fulfilled and sometimes this means making up your mind to do what it takes to achieve that IN SPITE of how you feel. This means loving selflessly. Hard but doable with God’s Spirit. NEVER let your spouse feel ‘deprived’.

11. If you don’t remember anything else we have said, remember this - Whenever you are upset with each other? THAT is the best time to be intimate! God created sex as the one sure way of sealing the bond between husband and wife. The devil knows this too and that is why the first thing a couple do when they are fighting is to stay away from each other. Don’t do it. Frustrate the devil. Sex is praise, worship and a weapon of warfare!

12. Husband, never have a female ‘friend’ you are closer to than your wife. Wife, never have a male friend that is your confidante. It is a recipe for disaster. Period!

13. Do not do business with anyone you cannot introduce to your spouse. As much as you can control is, let all your business acquaintances be known to your spouse. If you are reluctant to introduce them, ask yourself why. Something is wrong.

14. After God, your spouse must be your number one priority. Wives, when you become mommies watch out for this. We don’t even realise this happens but don’t let baby take over your life. Daddy is still there and still needs you! *smiling*

15. You just have to learn to forgive. Forgetting will come with time but just let go of past hurts. Make up your mind to not let the past steal your future.

16. Dates nights are a MUST. Carve out a day even if it is just once a month for just the two of you to ‘be’. No gadgets. No other people. Just chill.

17. Fight but fight ‘clean’. Fights will come. They are inevitable but fighting clean means sticking to the issues at hand. Not dragging up the past. Fighting clean means no name calling or sarcasm.

18. Send love notes. So we are all on various gadgets now, right? So from time to time, send a nice message to your spouse to let him/her know you were thinking of them. It helps. Be playful…like you were when you were dating. Honour your spouse. Show you care. I love sincere PDAs (holding hands, opening the door for your wife, etc). You are telling the world "See my spouse! I am pleased to be with him/her!".

19. Please don’t fight in front of the children. We never plan to but it happens. Please commit to not let it happen anymore. Our kids are so sensitive PLUS there are learning from us. Let’s be good models.

20. Mutual Respect is so important. Never speak disrespectfully to each other. Never talk negatively about your spouse to anyone either. Just not good!

21. I personally do not believe any marriage can last without God being at its centre. Pray together as well as alone. Make Him the Source of your love for each other. Always try to emulate Christ in how you love your spouse. If you do, yours will be a Marriage as God intended.

*********************************************************

Woww.. I absolutely loved reading their 21things and I hope to 'chewit' even more. When I read no 11, I was like Hallelujah!! Hahaha.. But I am learning.

Marriage is beautiful, very beautiful - God made it so. Our prayer is that marriages will begin to fulfil the purpose for which God created it and that we will enjoy fulfilling relationships and marriages in our lives in Jesus name.

Thank you very much Mr and Mrs Nelson, may God continue to bless and keep your home in Jesus name.

*********************************************************

Please visit Mrs Bola Nelson aka Salt's blog www.thesaltchronicles.com

Also follow on Twitter @saltmatters7 

**********************************************************

Do you have any questions or comments please send us an email oneplustheone@gmail.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone
Twitter: @1plustheone
Instagram: @1plustheone

20 things about Me + Versatile Award

Hiya everyone!

It's a Saturday so let's do a fun post! I hope your day is going great? For me, I am having a great time at my nephew's first birthday party eating small chops and dancing ijo yoyo (Oh how I love children's parties - plenty food, no stress *covers face*)

Happy birthday my dearest, darling cutie dimpled pie Ayooluwatitomi Funsho.. Aunty loves you muchos. I pray that God will make you very great. I can see greatness all over you already and I pray that you will make God and your parents very proud!

Birthday Boy and mee! :-D

So, I have been tagged by a few bloggers and I have been very very bad at responding.. I have slacked so much, I don't even know how or where to start from.. But *rolls sleeves*, let's try somehow somehow..

Today, I will do the 20s Tag given by the lovely Blogger Toinlicious.. Thanks hun *kisses".

This is the only picture of the lovely Toin that can be found on Blogsville!

Also, my darling Erniesha nominated me for "The Versatile Blogger Award" Whoop whooop! Tibs, you rock, thanks mami!

Beautiful Tibs of life!

The only rule for the 20s tag is to say 20 random things about yourself (20?!!)

For the Versatile Award, it's as follows:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award - Thank you Tibs, I know if anyone does, you deserve this hun.. You are super-fly fresh and there's always something worth reading on your blog! xx

2. Include a link to their blog - Visit the FAB Tibs here www.everydaytibs.blogspot.com

3.Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you have recently discovered or follow regularly - The thing is that Tibs has nominated many of my favourites.. But let's seee!

4. Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award (you might include a link to VBA site.)

5. Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself. (That's definitely easier than 20! lol)

20 Things:

1. I am not very good at responding to tags, lol.. Figures right?

2. I am almost as bad responding to emails sometimes (sorry!)

3. I enjoy being busy....

4. Saying that, one of my favourite phrases is "I am tired".. My ex (I hate that word by the way, why give continuous significance? lol) once said I enjoy being tired (maybe/maybe not :-D)

5. I love music and singing.. In my mind I conduct this amazing choir (If you see my conducting skills mehn.. My imaginary choir are just awesome!).. I sing in the bath, on the road (I lose myself many times until I notice people giving me strange looks).

6. I lovee dancing too! When I was at University, I would actively sing and dance walking from Uni to my house (people definitely shook their heads and thought wryly "Africans!" tut tut :-D

7. I talk and dance with my hands. (I am that girl who is flaying and waving her hands randomly as she dances).

8. It takes a while for me to completely let go with people, however sometimes, I meet someone and we just click (not very often though).

9. I can day-dream + night-dream for Africa!

10. I used to cry a LOT when I was younger. To God be the glory - no more! lol (I pray my children don't inherit it please)

No more tears, all smiles lol

11. I used to like things done my way in the past lol ('used to' and 'past' being the operative words.. Ok, maybe still do a little :-D *work in progress*)

12. I think food is one of the greatest pleasures God gave man -_-

13. I want my children to look like their fathers. (I actually wrote 'fathers' first, biko, only one father please oh!)

14. I have a special love-relationship with Cake.. 

15. I don't like shopping. I like dressing up though.

16. (I don't have anything to write again).

17. I love words.. I love cards, I like when I read from someone I like.. I could read it again and again and go 'aww' like it's the first time. I have cards from years and years ago!

18. I am a family girl.. I take them very very seriously.

19. I don't like a guy who talks too much lol.. I talk too much, we need some balance plix.

20. I love Lovee (What? You didn't know that?? Hehehe)

**Finallyyyy we got there! If you read it to the end, you are simply amazing! Thank you.

Ok, now to the Versatile Award.. Tibs is one of my favourite bloggers who I believe has a heart of gold so let me tell her some things I wouldn't normally share. Right Tibs? Right :-) xx

1. So I said I cry a lot right? Well mami, when my first boyfriend and I broke up, I cried for days.. We were young, no need for all that (well I saw the light later). However, I think the most painful heart-wrenching break-up was with my last boyfriend.. I needed God to take away the hurt. 

2. I enjoy public speaking and do a bit of hosting/compering here and there.

3. I am a night person! I wish I could work at night only. I think I am more productive at night!

4. When I was younger, my dream job was to be one of Fela's (Anikulapo-Kuti) dancers.. I admired the skimpy cloths and the flexible dance-steps.. In my mind, that was the dreammm *nods head* 

5. I analyse (and over-analyse) things a lot! Call me Detective One... (I am retiring though, it's not good for my peace of mind at all!)

6. I am borrowing this one from you Tibs - I absolutely love bringing people together. I love expressions of love, I want us all to sing peace and harmony songs and get along etc etc.

7. I absolutely enjoy serving people. I may not like cooking (yet) but I love catering to people, hosting, entertaining etc.. I revel in that :-D

*Phew* I made it!! I did!! Yayyyyyyy!!!!

Thank you very much for the nomination ladies, I am very grateful. 

God bless you muchos! *kisses*

Now, I nominate these absolutely amazing bloggers for The Versatile Bloggers Award:

1. Good Naija Girl

2. Frances Okoro - Imperfectly Perfect Lives

3. Eziaha

4. Inthemidstofher

5. Adaeze Obiako

6. Graciemama

7. Tomi Akibo

8. Gee's Lemonades

9. Berry Dakara

10. Highly Favoured

11. INyamu's Eldorado

12. Atilola 

13. Sykik

14. The Salt Chronicles

15. Tobi Atte - Ijustmetme

Please click on their names and check out their blogs too! xx