Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Why am I like this??! - 7 things I have learnt so far...

Hiya good people of blogsville!

Hope the year has started on a very good note asides the #OccupyNigeria issue for Nigerians home and abroad as well as the civil tension.. I join you all in saying to our God in heaven a very hearty "Lord save our nation".

Thanks to all those who commented on the last post and wished me well on this new journey.. So far it's been 2 months in and all I can say is thank GOD! I have learnt (and still learning) a lot in only 2 months; things about God, things about him and the most surprising of all are things about me! Honestly, sometimes it takes allowing someone into your life to open your eyes or reveal some other facets of you that you didn't even know existed *eyes wide open*.. The thing is, not all of these 'revelations' are pleasant.. my goodness!

So, in the past 2 months I think my prayer life and communication with God have definitely increased. In fact I say to Him "Lord, you need to help me cause you know that if you leave me alone to my own devices I would surely 'use my hands' to spoil this thing"... I am learning, I am growing, I am being developed.

I have been able to discuss with a few of my girl-friends and it's amazing how some of the experiences we have are very similar with only some slight variations. I would write down below some of the points I have realised and you tell me if it's common or peculiar to just me:

1. Independent women feel just as insecure as the next person: I am not your overly independent woman, but I believe that I have good self-confidence to a large extent and I am very comfortable in my own skin. Nevertheless, I have come to realise that one of the most important needs of a woman is 'SECURITY'.. This doesn't only have to be financial but emotional as well in a very huge way.. There are times I do certain things to 'test' how deep his love and commitment are to me and usually it does not make sense! lol.. I am learning to let go and just trust him and trust God to make all things beautiful.

2. I OVER-ANALYSE: Mehnnnn... I have become Inspector One overnight! When he says A, I would see how A relates to B and how P may affect A and how A may actually mean Y... lol. I don't know about you, but I have a VERY over-active and over-imaginative mind.. I am always 'thinking'..  I am praying to God to deliver me from 'over-thinking' and just let go (again that word)

3. Dejavu!: In my previous relationships, there were certain things I did that I made up my mind never to do again. For instance, I remember with my first boyfriend (and I blame romance novels especially M&Bs particularly for this one), I used to instigate little tiffs aka little disagreements, and you know how the story goes; you disagree, boy says I'm sorry, girl fronts small or vice versa, eventually there's a making up and it feels like you are back to the honeymoon stage...perfecto! Unfortunately, this gets OLD after a while and only works in novels after a while.. 
To this effect, I am trying and trying not to take offence easily, to allow trivial things go, not to pick on every word that is said and use as a reason to give 'silent treatment'... Motto is: 'Out with the old, in with the new' *so help me God!*.

4. There are no set rules for relationships: Each relationship is unique and special in its own way. What works for A usually may not work for B. How C and D get on may not be the same way for you. You need to find your own relationship niche that works for both of you and stick with it. Never compare, (well except to learn something good for yourself or improve yourself), don't use another relationship or circumstance as a yardstick for yours.

5. Appreciate the little and big things: This one speaks for itself. Always use words of affirmation and words of encouragement, say 'thank you', 'I appreciate you', give compliments. It helps a lot. Be his/her biggest cheerleader. There's always the tendency to lose sight of why you chose him/her in the first place. Go back to that place and learn to value the person you're with because if you don't now, you may remember those good qualities you ignore now when it's too late!

6. Communication is key: It is important to be able to freely express your feelings to each other. Nevertheless, what I have learnt is that in expressing yourself, you have to be sensitive to the feelings of the other person. Sometimes, we may express ourselves to make us feel good or vent and it may really not be necessary. 

7. PRAY and PRAY and PRAY: At the end of the day, every good thing is worth fighting for. I choose to fight on my knees! Rather than nag, pray about it! (Honest truth is I'd rather have it all out here and now than wait for the prayer to be answered, waiting can be long mehn! lol.. But I have learnt that it is more profitable to wait for the Holy Spirit to work things out His own way - God help us!)

So, how about you, what nuggets of wisdom borne out of experience can you share with us? I look forward to hearing yours! 

God bless you xx


  1. Happy new year with you too...I am totally with you on the realizations.....I am still learning. Lord knows that I am trying really hard

  2. i love ur applies even in marriage as i think u are on the right path :)

  3. Happy New Year to you. I like all the 7 points mentioned. We need to keep learning every day.

  4. @HoneyDame, thanks for stopping by.. Hope you're good. Looking forward to an update from you xx
    @aloted, in marriage as well? Ok.. Let me intensify my prayers lol.. Thanks for your encouragement as always xx
    @Nigeria, We definitely need to.. Welcome and thanks for visiting :-) xx

  5. I would like to praise you for coming up with this wonderful, lovely and inspiring list, a list in which I wholeheartedly agree with. I especially love the fact that you put your utmost sincere faith in God and trust him to make things beautiful. I also loved it when you mentioned my personal opinion which is "every good thing is worth fighting for" which is very true. Thanks again for giving us such a great perspective on life, more people should read this post.


You know you want to say something :-)