Thursday, 15 October 2015

Let Me Love You...

Yesterday was a dear friend-like sister's birthday! (Happy Birthday - whoop whoop!!)

Now, my friend is such a wonderful person and we hardly ever disagree on much however one of the things that we disagree on a lot is her phone culture.. or shall I say her lack of phone culture lol.

It can be very very difficult holding her down on the phone! It's not because she's not a phone person but that she often has a very long distance relationship with the device. If it hasn't been tossed somewhere far-off, it is dead due to its battery not being recharged!

You can imagine the frustration in trying to communicate with her.. I think I'm getting used to it ("think" being the operative word lol).

Now, back to yesterday being her birthday, I gave her one of my unsolicited lectures on the importance of having her phone with her and alive a few times during the day (in the most loving way of course - it was her day of birth after all :-D) because again, that phone-LDR was going on and people had been trying to get through to her to no avail!

As you would imagine, I'm not the only one who has a thing or two to say about her phone habits, her family and close friends do too! I have come to realise that the reason why it gets to us so much is because we actually want to talk to her, communicate with her, be able to relate with her at different times of the day, particularly as it was her birthday.. In short, we wanted to show her some love and it was mega frustrating to be deprived of that opportunity!

You know the interesting part of it all? She doesn't quite get what the fuss is all about! Lol

Now, the reason for that long story was to draw the attention that in the same vein, when you love someone, one of the ways you express that love is by allowing them to love you.. You get me?

Sometimes, we could get so independent that we forget that it is important to let go sometimes and allow people in our lives the opportunity to love us..

You don't always have to be 'fine', sometimes, show your vulnerability to them and give them the opportunity to help you so that you make them feel needed and important in your life. If they love you, it makes them feel very good doing it for you.

Give them access to your world - Don't try to 'shield them away' or protect them from your troubles. People who love you want to share in your pain and struggles. In the same vein, don't feel that you don't want to 'disturb them' by sharing little or what you might consider trivial milestones in your life..

Bottom line is as you show love to others, give them opportunities to love you too.. Being independent and self-sufficient is great but sometimes (or perhaps more than you know), they want to be able to be there for you too!

Lots of love :-) xxxx

Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

Twitter: @1plustheone
Google+ - 1 + The One
Instagram: @1plustheone


  1. Ayo, that was truly a wonderful and needed post. We need to be available in a way that allows others to speak into our lives, not just with our phones, but with our lives - people should be able to reach out to us and with our attitude, our time and our way of talking we need to signify that they can do just that.

    I read a book ("Side by Side" by Ed Welch) about this, and the author put it nicely,
    "Those who help best are the ones who both need help and give help".

    Reminds me also of 1 Cor 12, we're all different parts of the body needing one another.

    If you never need or ask for help, you're basically saying that you're self-sufficient, and you might lack the understanding and the humility you need to help others.

    About the phone thing... well I am not much of a "phone person" either, I try to strike a balance between online and offline life, but it's not easy... The thing I have to learn is that even if it does not mean much to me receiving a message or people asking on WhatsApp how I am doing, it might mean more to others.

    1. Thanks a lot Sebs :-)

      I have to whatsapp / iMessage you today!

  2. This is great! I always prefer being there for people without giving them the opportunity to do same. This is a reminder to allow those around me be a part of my life. Check out my website at

    1. Thanks dear for stopping by!
      You're right, it is important to ensure that we give people the opportunity to love us back :-)
      I shall be stopping over at your site shortly! xx

  3. Thank you One once again, I show love to people around me to the best of my capability, but I think I haven't really given them time to love me despite all I do for them. This is surely and eyeopener for me. Thank you

    1. Awww, I am glad! Hope you let your guard down enough to allow them love you in return :-)
      God bless dear xx

  4. To Love or Be Loved ( I think these are the 2 sincere halves that all relationships are split into, and by relationships.. Yes I mean Family and Friendships as well).. I think not all relationships are some humans seem to prefer being Loved.. and while some want TO Love... Now to me yeah.. I think I fall under the "To Love" category, which makes me try and form "Gangster" most times, where as deep inside inside my tiny 23 years 11 months and 15 days old boRRy.. yeah.. aYam silently yearning for affection.. But Hey! The key word is "Vulnerability" as it is funny what Humans can do to one another when they find out who is Vulnerable amongst them. A child i was dating one time said to me.. " You ask for too much affection (Paraphrased) " and this had me saying to Me " why on earth are we together if not to show same?!" a TaYa oh!

    Its Ironical Ayo.. How we all want different things in our relationships.. So To Love or Be Loved (as written by the beauRRiful Ribena) I ask again?! and my answer will always be the Former.. Cause Mehnnn I think my Vulnerability should be Hidden from the World All time every time..

    :) Hiya 1 + THE ONE toh sure.. How are you Bubba?! :) Thanks for always Nne. Cheers.

    1. Ahan nah 1+ THE ONE! Even though we understand eh.. Sheybe you know eezz not still Fair shaaa.. :( Please update when you can Nne. Pretty please.

    2. Lol.. Oya I haff blogged.. :-D
      Thank you so much Bubba.. Your encouragement is priceless! God bless you immensely.

      The key is to find someone who understands you and complements your personality. I pray you find that special person in Jesus name!

    3. Ah! As an Igbo bUOy, i had to sharpaly come back to claim my Blessing oh! Biko.. This kinda prayer shall not pass me by oh! **Winks.. So here goes.. Ammmmmmeeeeennnn.

  5. nice post, u can link to my blog

  6. I have never looked at this issue in this manner before. I personally find it easier to be there for others and not reach out when I am vulnerable because I hate to be disappointed. Sometimes you reach out and let people in and they prove that they are truly looking out for you but other times (most in my experience), you either get shut out or receive lots of empty promises. Makes it difficult to reach out again.

    I guess it's unfair to the ones who truly love us though so one must keep trying to make oneself available to be loved. I actually needed to read this tonight.

    1. I am really glad you liked the post NB.

      Please don't stop reaching out, do not let someone's poor understanding of love change the way you are. It is a great gift to be able to express yourself fully in love and allow yourself to be vulnerable before someone who is close to you.

      May God bless your loving heart in Jesus name and may it reap you great rewards as well!

      Thanks a lot for stopping by! xx


You know you want to say something :-)