I was chatting with one of my wonderful marriage mentors yesterday and she sent me the picture above.
You know, when thinking about the qualities of the man you would want to marry, I don't know if many people think about this very important aspect (especially if they plan to have children) - Can this man be a good father?
Can I trust him with raising our children? Can he be trusted to provide that much-needed role model figure for our children? Would I want my chidlren to inherit his traits (the good and the bad - because you know DNA doesn't consult you when it decides to give which to who! lol)..
Would he help with raising the children or be quick to call out my name once there's a sign of discomfort! "Woman, thou child calleth" or "Are you crying again?! Come on, come on, go and meet your mother!!"
Would it matter to you if he helped with looking after the children or would you be happy to take on full responsibility as long as he provides financially for your home?
What if you both experience some form of delay before the children come, does he seem responsible enough to share the burden and be there to encourage each other or would he bail at the first sign of trouble?
These are important things to consider when you see that man that makes your inside turn inside out, that makes you want to trade your last name so fast, you almost put your family to shame (lol)..
I know some of these things may not be fully determined pre-marriage but sisteh, there are signs.. Please shine your eyes.... And be wise. Discuss some of these things and understand your expectations before you say 'I do' - those 2 simple words that have the power to change the rest of your life!
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So true!! One thing I tell my friends is that they should get with guys that can be good fathers to their children...epecially now we hear absurd stories about fathers molesting their children!!
ReplyDeleteAmen!! Yay sister. He has to love the kids and be there for them, finances is not enough.
ReplyDeleteOmo, this one in particular is a heavy question: Would I want my children to inherit his traits (the good and the bad)?
ReplyDeleteIf more women took this to heart, they would not even befriend, talkless of date certain men. A good example is an angry abusive man. Some kids inherit anger from their fathers (or mothers).
Shine your eye = good advice, as opposed to singing "love is blind," and ignoring all the warning signs.
@My darling Sayedero, always great to have you here! You are right, it's an important prayer point oh! This is the person that you would e sharing the task of raising future generations with!
ReplyDelete@Nikkysho, thank you! I agree with you.. It goes beyond proving the finances. However, some people don't mind.
@RB, You are very right.. I mean I must have thought about it here and there but never really took it very seriously. But yeah, I sure want to good man to father our children by God's grace!
Me I totally agree o. It is a trait to look out for. It is much more than providing the funds. I want a man who would be able to take care of the children not just financially.
ReplyDeleteSame way I want a man that can cook. I don't need a chef fregz but come on if I am ill and there is no help, I need that assurance that the children won't go hungry because momma is ill and poppa can't even cook indomie or boil egg...
I totally agree.
ReplyDeleteI think it's one of the most important things to look out for especially if you want children you know. Not all guys are resposible enough to be good fathers. #JustSaying
ebunoluwole.com
My mum learnt the hard way. My dad wasn't even till today, qualified to be a father.
DeleteSo it's important.
@Deronk, *hi5* for that cooking comment lol.. May God give you a good man in Jesus name xx
ReplyDelete@Ebun, I agree with you that it's important for your potential spouse to have the traits of being a good father.. It can be really sad when some men are not able to take on their full responsibility. I pray that God will continue to raise up men of valour and give our men the grace to be great fathers, just as He is, in Jesus name
Yes oo, he must love children.
ReplyDeleteInfact, even before I got into a relationship, I always told my friends that the one I would be in a relationship with must be fatherly because I want my children to one day buy for wonderful gift for giving them a awesome father #smiles.
So yes oo, he must love children and know how to take good care of them.
Lol. Yes ma'am, your children must thank you for marrying their dad, and of course thank God for creating such a man in Jesus name!
ReplyDeleteThanks dear xx