Celebrating Pastor Bims!

Last week Thursday was the anniversary of the passing away of one of the greatest women who walked on the face of this earth.

The Beautiful Pastor Bims!

Pastor Abimbola Rosemary Odukoya was an icon, a force to be reckoned with in both the Christian and secular circles. She was an inspiration to so many people and a blessing to many homes and hearts.

I remember the day I heard about her passing, it was a Sunday morning ten years ago and shock is an understatement to describe what I felt. I found it very difficult to believe that this amazing woman was gone.. taken away from us, just like that!. However, like the song says "He gives and takes away, blessed be His name!"

I am grateful for the blessing of Pastor Bims (as she was lovingly called), I am grateful that she lived such an impactful life to the glory of God, I am grateful to have been blessed by her ministrations and tutelage, I am grateful for so many things about her and many lessons I learnt from her life and teachings, a few I will mention below...



Excellent Teacher!

1. Pastor Bimbo was a woman who was devoted to her God! Oh she talked about God with such a passion that you wanted to also get to know this amazing Supreme Being she spoke about with such reverence and respect. She worshipped Him with abandon and didn't mind expressing her love for God is such wonderful ways.

2. She was a passionate woman! She was passionate about everything she did - She loved her God with a passion, she loved her husband with a passion, she loved her children with a passion, she loved her church with a passion, she loved people with a passion, she loved and did things with such admirable passion!

3. She made it clear that her husband and family were priority in her life. I watched and learnt how to honour and respect your man in such a beautiful way, irrespective of how much accolade you get used to!

4. Pastor Bim was a woman full of life! You wanted to be with her.. She was so lively, so engaging! She made people around her feel good! You could listen to her talk for ages :-)

5. She preached Jesus without holding back! She was a woman who knew how to preach the word of God. She believed very much in confessing the word of God, holding on and believing in God's word.

6. She was a 'hot' Christian woman - not just spiritually but physically! She not only paid attention to what was going on inside but outside too! Being spiritual is no excuse to look dowdy :-)



Fashionista!

7. She taught me a LOT about relationships, love and marriage! I still make reference to her today (and tomorrow too!).. Her books remain relevant, her video seminars and advice still work today!

                  

I could go on and on about this phenomenal woman who God gave the grace to walk the face of this earth for 45 full years!

I pray that God will make us vessels of honour that will be fit for use to His glory so that when it's time for us to exit this side of eternity, our impact and legacy would outlive us. More importantly, when we meet face to face with our Creator on that side of eternity, that we will hear the treasured words of welcome and well done!

Dear Daddy

My darling dearest King,

Lover of my soul, Owner of my head, Centre of my joy, Redeemer of my life, Lord of my destiny, Capturer of my heart, Reason why I live, Spring in my step, Confidence of my tomorrow, Hope of my future, Author of mhy salvation, Giver of my blessings, God of my youth!

I haven't written to You in a while Daddy and I have missed doing this! This is without doubt, the easiest of posts I have to write on here. I take pleasure in writing to You. Indeed as I type, with Your son William McDowell providing a bed of worship, I smile :-)

You make my heart smile, You make my soul smile, You make my now smile, You make my future smile :-) :-) I hope I make You smile too... I want to make You happy, to make You pleased, for You to see me and be proud.

Today Lord, may I just say THANK YOU.. Thank You for the many ways You have shown Yourself faithful. Thank You for how You have shown Your goodness, not just to me alone, but to everyone else because Your love for us is so deep, so wide, unquenchable..

Daddy, if I thanked You individually for ALL You have done, been and given me, I probably would not finish until You come. However, one person I am sincerely and forever grateful to You for is the woman You chose to be my mother on this earth.

Thank You for my amazing, wonderful mother. Thank You for the strength and grace You have blessed her with. Thank You for the kind of love you put in her heart for us her children and for others too. Thank You for making her such a responsible and intelligent woman. Thank You for blessing me with a mum that I can look up to, aspire to be like and absolutely admire. Thank You for blessing me with a praying mum. A mother whose knees and lips are never far away from heaven and whose tongue blesses, encourages and cheers us on to greatness. A mother whose love and devotion to You is something so beautiful.

Thank You for where You took her from, how far You have brought her and the plans You have for her future. Thank You for making her a pillar in her family; a daughter, sister and aunt that anyone would delight in!

Daddy, I am so grateful for this Your very special and unique daughter!

In blessing me, You chose to greatly favour me by making her my mother. Thank YOU Abba Father.

Thank You for being the wind beneath her wings. You rock, You rule, You reign. Glory to YOU my King!

I love You first, always,
One xx

My heart sings to YOU Abba xxx

Waiting and Loving It!!! Feat Isioma and Tobore Benson

It is almost difficult to believe that the last time we had a Waiting and Loving It feature was in January!! Almost one year *eeeek*!

For all those who are visiting the blog for the first time (welcome!!) or haven't read a feature, it would be great to read a little background to the series HERE, HERE and HERE.

Right, now we've gotten that out of the way, let's go on to today's very special couple! Isioma is one of the ladies I refer to as my 'heart-sister', 'blood-girl' lol (no covenants there, just the acknowledgement that the blood of Jesus that binds us is deeep!).. I consider her a very dear dear sister, a contributor to 1 + The One (including Conversations with One), one of my 'accountability partners' and I know that we both looked forward to being featured on Waiting and Loving It! Indeed, when I sent her the email request, her response was "Yayyyy, I kent believe I can finally participate!" Lol.. Thank God for amazing friends!

I love the way her and her husband relate with each other. There's a deep friendship that is just beautiful and I am glad and very grateful to them for being a part of Waiting and Loving It (Isi-linyo, you did it!! Thank God for grace :-D)

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One: Hiya Isioma and Tobore, glad to have you on the hot seat! I think I am definitely giddy with excitement :-) Please could you tell us a little about yourselves?

Isioma - Hi!!! My name is Isioma Benson (nee Ikediashi), I’m a happy young woman and I recently got married to my gorgeous T-baby as I fondly call him (2 months in marriage). I am a worshipper, I just love to sing and show how good God is through my life. I’m also the first of 4 kids (all boys after me) so I can be pretty tough at times. I love talking to people and being an inspiration.

Tobore: I'm Tobore Benson, I can be quite reserved and enjoy my own company but I certainly love the company of my wife, my ‘Omotekoba’ as I call her. She’s the one person that can bring all of my different sides out. I love reading and researching and finding out facts about any and everything. I love to laugh and can laugh about anything. Oh and while my wife is the singer, I’m the listener.

We see how she listens alright.. :-)

One: Awww, that's lovely! So 'Omotekoba', how did you meet your 'T-baby'? :-)

Isioma: I’ve gotta say that my hubby will be more detailed here…lol! It was an early morning, sometime before 7:00am. I was on my way to a business lecture when I suddenly heard someone say – "Hey! Where do you think you’re going this early morning?" I turned to see who it was and he was just laughing. I told him I had a lecture and he found it ridiculous that I would actually attend an early class. He categorically told me he wouldn’t attend if he were me. Anyway, we chatted till I got to my faculty and he took my phone number and the rest was 10 years of friendship!

One: Wow! 10 years... That's amazing! Tobore, we would definitely like to know your version of events..

Tobore: I met my wife on Wednesday the 17th of November, 2004. Too much detail huh…lol!

One: Not at all, lol. That's nice actually. It means the chances of you missing an anniversary is slim to none *major points*.. Please go on...

Tobore:  I was on my way back to my hostel off campus at some minutes past 6:00am when I saw this young girl walking so fast and going to God knows where! I was curious as to where she could be going to at that time of the day while I was going to continue my sleep from where I stopped, at my friend’s hostel. I called out to her and asked where she was going and I was laughing at her as well. It was even funnier when she said she was going for a lecture and had to go early to secure the front seat. Anyway, I asked her to slow down and we started to chat until she got to her faculty and I asked for her number. She gave her number to me and our story began…

After 10 years... the smile must be huge!

One: .. And the story began indeed! So tell us Tobore, what would you say initially attracted you to Isioma?

Tobore: It’s a funny one but she looked like one of them girls that have never had their hearts broken – the ‘good girl’.

Isioma: For me, I was attracted to his ability to hold a decent conversation. Many guys in Uni lacked what to say to a girl. They just talked a lot of crap but he made a lot of sense and he was consistent at it.

One: .. A good conversation struck the deal for you, that's nice.. What would you say made you know that this was 'IT'..

Isioma: Hmmmm! Interestingly I only got to realise in 2014. We had been friends for sooooooo long and I had completely rested in the comfort of that friendship that it almost seemed weird to think we could spend forever together. One thing was sure, I cared about him a lot even though I fought with him a lot too. Anyway, in 2014 he rang me again and this time he wasn’t taking 'No' for an answer. I genuinely felt in my heart that it was time to listen, I felt a calmness in my spirit and a desire to tell God about it. I spent some time talking to God about him and my heart and spirit was at peace with the decision to take a next step.

Tobore: I remember going back to the hostel that day after I met her and I was telling my friend about her so excitedly and I was looking forward to an opportunity to meet her again. I knew in 2005 (one year after) after we became good friends that I needed her to be in my future. It sounded silly to my friends but I always wanted a good LISTENER in a person and she was 100% that person. I also wanted a person who was friendly and hadn’t been messed up by wrong relationships and she ticked it too.

This is IT!

One: That's fantastic! Now to the very important question, what made both of you make the decision to wait until marriage before having a sexual relationship?

Isioma and Tobore: Waiting was a desire for both of us. In all the 3 years of Uni that we were friends, he never made any advances at me. He saw me as one to protect. I think he felt he needed to keep me for himself eventually…lol! When we decided to start a proper relationship in 2014, we spent more time discussing other kinds of boundaries just to avoid any temptation but we were solid on waiting. On my own part, I had made a decision as a young girl to wait till marriage and by God’s grace, it was a strong resolve.

One: Was it difficult? Did you get to any point when you just wanted to let go?

Isioma: YESSSSSSSS it was hard! I think I can be quite the ‘toughie’, I won’t give in under any pressure and best believe I’m not tempted to at all but with Tobore the story changed. We only had a 1 year courtship and we spent most of it apart but it was tough. We were both so attracted to each other and of course we missed being apart for so long. The few days before the wedding were the hardest. The days became so slow….hahahahaha!

One: LOL.. Thanks for being real.. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak but God's grace is suffient aka Diarris God! So what practical measures did you take to ensure that you stuck by your decision?

Isioma and Tobore: We both wanted a good foundation for our marriage, one that is firmly rooted on the word of God. For me, I cringed at the after-feeling if I ever let my emotions win. I didn’t think I would be able to pray or worship and I don’t know if the marriage would be worth it after all. So we used the ‘guilt trip’ a lot….lol! We would say things like, what will God think of us now? How can you minister to other people 'Sis Isioma of the Holy Ghost'…hahahaha! I kept my godly girlfriends very close, I will tell them what I’m feeling, doing or planning. I wasn’t taking chances. Then we prayed sometimes when we felt high on emotions and of course we tried to spend more time in public places and with other people too. It also helped that we were friends, we would tell each other off if one person was losing it….lol!

One: Lol.. That's great, thank God. Now that you are married, what one advice would you give to your single self in preparation for marriage?

This is from the both of us – Nothing is impossible with God, not even the highest mountain or the darkest cloud. We couldn’t be more direct about this. We experienced God’s faithfulness at every turn in our preparation for marriage. From deciding to wait, to learning deeper things about ourselves, to submission, to wedding plans etc. We sought God like the air we breathed and He showed up big time!

One: Praise our ever-faithful God! Alright Isioma, 2 months in, describe in 3 words, the best part of being married?

Isioma: Companionship, Maturity, Satisfaction

Tobore?

Sex, Responsibility, Children

One: Nice one! Thank you very much.. Now, just before we go, It's PDA time! We'd like to step aside and allow you both indulge in some healthy Public Display of Affection.. 

Isioma: If I knew what I know now, we would have been married at least 5 years ago Baby T. Every day with you is never enough. I look forward to coming home now because I have a partner who’s also my friend. Cheers to forever baby xxx Oh and thanks for giving me a really kool last name….hehehe!

Tobore: I had an opportunity in my lifetime to share my life with you and I won’t trade you for anything in this world. Glad I stayed till the end. I love you Isiyoma Benson.

Mr and Mrs B!!

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Awww *sniff* don't you just love *sniff sniff*....

I thank God always for writing and making the very best love stories. I believe one of God's names is Jehovah El'Romantique - Creating love stories from time immemorial (Issac/Rebekah,  Ruth/Boaz) :-)

One of the reasons I love the Waiting and Loving It series is that it is an encouragement that there are so many expressions of God's love to us through people He brings into our lives. It's not impossible, it's real and God can make yours beautiful too!

Very importantly, God is LOVE so He alone has the authority on setting the standard and parameters for love.. Any other way is the wrong way of doing it, no matter how popular it may seem. I have had conversations with people who say that chastity is out-dated; impossible in today's world but time and time again, God proves that His word remains unchanged through generations and fads, He remains consistent.

It may not be easy but then, His grace is more than sufficient - that's a promise He has given that you and I can hold on to.. So, please join me to continuously ask "Lord, please give me your grace!!" Amen :-)

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Music and Me: William McDowell

I Belong to You

 We haven't had a Worship and Me feature in a while, so even though today is not Wednesday, permit me to share this gem I discovered, which has blessed me immensely.

It's not really a song, it's a worship night hosted by William McDowell.

By the way, the man William McDowell was with us in Lagos a few days back, at the RCCG JoshuaVille (aka JVille)'s annual Night of Worship and I honestly do not have words enough to express how awesome the night was! 

One thing I love about McDowell is how so into his worship he gets when he begins. You can see and almost feel a man who is sold out to God. I like the simplicity yet depth of his worship and I love the fact that he speaks the word as he worships.

In this particular video, he shares his unique salvation experience and his passion for this generation to know, love and worship God... Talk about having a wonderful passion!

I have many William McDowell favourites; 'I give myself away', 'Holding Nothing Back', 'You are God Alone', 'Witholding Nothing', 'Never Going Back', 'Standing' {Oh how I loveee this song - "We're gonna see what we're praying forr!!"). One that I truly love is 'I Belong to You'..

See excerpts of the song:

I've been captured by a love I can't explain

Now you have me, and I'm forever changed

I've abandoned everything I've ever known

I surrender, my life is not my own..

I belong to you

I belong to you

This song talks about absolute surrender to God. For me, it tells a little of the love story between God and me - God's inexplicable and indescribable love has captured my heart. I am enamoured and won over by His deep deep love for me.

The best I can offer in return is me.. All of me! This is not easy at all but it is such a small gift in view of God's unconditional love for us all.

In this worship video, McDowell also talks about what it means to 'belong to God'.. Your life is no longer yours. It's no longer about what feels good to YOU, or what YOU think or want to do, it becomes all about what HE wants you to do, how HE wants you to react, the places HE approves of you to be.. It's a total and complete sacrifice....

When I heard this, it made me think like "wow.. this one is a tough call..", but it is possible by God's grace and the rewards and joy innumerable.. Like McDowell says in his song 'Never Going Back' - 

I've been changed, healed, freed, delivered! And I possibly can't go back to the way it used to be. I lovee this CHANGED me :-)

Thank God for His everlasting love..

Here you go - Night of Worship with William McDowell, hope it blesses you as much as it has me xxxx

I Belong To You

PS What's your favourite William McDowell song? xx

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Lawson... Mrs Lawson!

I was sitting in church watching a man sing very beautifully and lovingly to his wife in an endearing public display of affection and appreciation.

As he sang, my mind took a trip down memory lane and I couldn't help but smile to myself as I remembered me some years back....

"... He must be able to sing.. and play the instrument too! He has to have an 'English' surname - a 'Smith' or 'Lawson' would do - after all, if I'm going to trade in my 'Thompson', it better be worth my while!"....

Are you smiling as well yet? Or just shaking your head at my sheer ignorance! lol

It's funny the things I considered 'important' traits in my future husband when I was younger. Thank God it makes me smile now!

Like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:11 - "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things"... I want to believe that I have put away childish things lol

There's nothing wrong with desires and ambitions, indeed the bible says in Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". 

However, be careful about desires because sometimes 'desires' could become a problem if they are ill-advised or act as a hindrance to a beautiful gift, because the gift comes in boxed or wrapped undesirable paper. Before you make that hasty decision, take a moment to unwrap that gift - its content might just be all you ever needed, dreamed of and desired!!

Don't stop dreaming, don't stop desiring but most of all, don't stop praying so that God guides your desires, wants and needs! You will get the loving goosebumps by God's grace (that's important)...

... Does she make your spirit leap? #QOTD

Lots of loveee,

Ayo Lawson { Don't lie, it has a nice ring to it! :-) }

PS, what were some of the 'funny' things/traits you wanted in your other half? Please share! xxxx

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Let Me Love You...

*Simples*

Yesterday was a dear friend-like sister's birthday! (Happy Birthday - whoop whoop!!)

Now, my friend is such a wonderful person and we hardly ever disagree on much however one of the things that we disagree on a lot is her phone culture.. or shall I say her lack of phone culture lol.

It can be very very difficult holding her down on the phone! It's not because she's not a phone person but that she often has a very long distance relationship with the device. If it hasn't been tossed somewhere far-off, it is dead due to its battery not being recharged!

You can imagine the frustration in trying to communicate with her.. I think I'm getting used to it ("think" being the operative word lol).

Now, back to yesterday being her birthday, I gave her one of my unsolicited lectures on the importance of having her phone with her and alive a few times during the day (in the most loving way of course - it was her day of birth after all :-D) because again, that phone-LDR was going on and people had been trying to get through to her to no avail!

As you would imagine, I'm not the only one who has a thing or two to say about her phone habits, her family and close friends do too! I have come to realise that the reason why it gets to us so much is because we actually want to talk to her, communicate with her, be able to relate with her at different times of the day, particularly as it was her birthday.. In short, we wanted to show her some love and it was mega frustrating to be deprived of that opportunity!

You know the interesting part of it all? She doesn't quite get what the fuss is all about! Lol

Now, the reason for that long story was to draw the attention that in the same vein, when you love someone, one of the ways you express that love is by allowing them to love you.. You get me?

Sometimes, we could get so independent that we forget that it is important to let go sometimes and allow people in our lives the opportunity to love us..

You don't always have to be 'fine', sometimes, show your vulnerability to them and give them the opportunity to help you so that you make them feel needed and important in your life. If they love you, it makes them feel very good doing it for you.

Give them access to your world - Don't try to 'shield them away' or protect them from your troubles. People who love you want to share in your pain and struggles. In the same vein, don't feel that you don't want to 'disturb them' by sharing little or what you might consider trivial milestones in your life..

Bottom line is as you show love to others, give them opportunities to love you too.. Being independent and self-sufficient is great but sometimes (or perhaps more than you know), they want to be able to be there for you too!

#TheEnd

Lots of love :-) xxxx

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Glowreeyah Braimah's Expression!

It feels sooo good to be blogging again!!

I know, I know, it's been a while.. I 'disappeared' again just like that.. Thanks for the love guys! Thanks to all those who checked up on 1 + The One while we were away.. Special shout-out to those who sent emails and interacted on social media, you rock and you are huge sources of encouragement! May God bless you real good!!

So, I went for this absolutely amazing concert yesterday!! Some of you might know my love for attending gospel concerts as I have talked about it on here a number of times.

The Expression!

I was eagerly looking forward to this one because it was the album launch of one artist that is fast becoming one of my favourites, not to mention the fact that she wrote and sang one of the most powerful songs I have heard - Miracle Worker, I wrote about the song HERE, you can also watch an interview she did with the Good Morning Nigeria Show posted below..

Gloria Braimah aka Glowreeyah's album launch was tagged 'The Expression' and oh what an expression of praise and worship it was!!

It was held at The Rock Cathedral in Lekki and what a beautiful beautiful sanctuary it is!! The ambience was set and it was time to let go of all inhibitions as I looked forward to worshipping along with some of my favourite gospel ministers.

I couldn't wait to listen to 'Miracle Worker' live - I don't think I could ever get tired of listening to that song. Something happens every time I hear it. It's my go-to song when I cannot pray. I have hardly heard it in worship without tears streaming down my face as at that point I feel absolutely vulnerable before my Miracle Worker for whom NOTHING is impossible, my Destiny Changer who writes and sets the destiny of a man and no man can argue and who can turn one's life around no matter how far we've strayed!


Glowreeyah and Nathaniel Bassey singing Miracle Worker LIVE at The Expression!

I was expectant but I can tell you that my expectations were greatly surpassed! It was nothing short of amazing! Some things I observed was that the gospel industry came out in great support of one of their own - borrowing Pastor Paul Adefarasin's word - a plethora of Ministers came out to support Glowreeyah. It was a beautiful sight indeed - love in action.

... And you know where love is, God exists, because indeed, God is love! Well, each of them came on stage and tore the roof! From Sammie Okposo and his oboto dance lol (As you see me so, I no get wahala, as you see me so, na only Halleluyah!), to Onos' Alagbara. We had Pita lift his voice in beautiful worship, Nikki Laoye as great as always, Nathaniel Bassey, Nosa,Tuke Morgan, Frank Edwards and Cobhams!! Haaa, I can write a whole post on this one.. I just kept looking at him in awesome wonder and total adoration of our Great God! Only a great God can give great talent!!

His duet with Glowreeyah was breath-taking, his rendition of the hymn Rock of Ages and then his beautiful song 'Ordinary People' left people speechless in profound admiration for this extraordinary man!


Glowreeyah and Cobhams Asuquo during their amazing duet!!

Now, Glowreeyah herself was SUPERRR! She glowed.. There's something about this woman that is incredibly special. There's this grace around her and I believe that's why you can hardly catch her without a smile on her face. You know those kind of people that you like being around? Yes, that's Glowreeyah! I loved how she told us the stories behind each song and the creativity that was definitely obvious in the variety of styles in her music.. And her voiceeee!! Honestly, God has richly blessed Nigeria and His church!

Glowreeyah - Glows so gloriously!

I don't know which of her songs I would say was my favourite (of course, you already know I am partial to Miracle Worker lol), I predict that Covenant Keeper would be another great anthem, as well as the Exclamation song (don't worry, you will soon find out when you hear "I Exclamation YOU!" :-D Another one I loved was the song that was like a prayer for Nigeria produced by Mosa.. My goodness! That was a song and a half!!

Covenant Keeper

   

Her new album is a treasure indeed and I don't think anyone has to be cajoled or excessively persuaded to get a copy.. Trust me, you don't want to be on a dulling P, you would be grateful for it!



The Expression.. Get your copies NOW!!!

Something else I would like to point out is something a dear friend whom I attended with said - Gospel concerts in Nigeria are better organised and of a better quality than most secular events. I didn't say it, she did! lol (But I whole-heartedly concur :-D).. They sing LIVE, their hosts are usually excellent (well done Chigurl and Freke Umoh!), the organisation and stage management is usually very professional, they often start on time(!), and of course, the icing on the cake - the anointing makes the difference!

 

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Link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0in6iwx7s3U

You can follow Glowreeyah on her social media pages -
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/GlowreeyahBraimah?fref=ts
Twitter - @glowreeyah
Instagram - @glowreeyah
Website - www.glowreeyah.com

 

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You are just the Carrier, the baby is Mine - Emma and Obi's Story

Hi beautiful people!

I am excited whenever I have the opportunity to watch, hear or read about God's Awesomeness!

Everyday, we get the opportunity to have a glimpse of just how GREAT God is - From the break of dawn, to the rising of the sun, to the clouds that fill up with rain that drops on the ground to produce a bountiful harvest and nurture life.

From the details of creation - the unique lines imprinted on the palms of every human being, to the beautiful crinkle that forms when you smile. From the numerous strands of hair on our head that differs in texture, strength, length and colour to the next person just as our DNA, as intricate, complex and detailed as it is, differs from the next.

God is great and there is NOTHING He cannot do.

Emma and Obi Anyadike

If you followed the Waiting and Loving It series, you would remember Emma and Obi who were one of the first couples we featured. You can read their story HERE.. What they might not have touched on at the time was the miracle of conception and birth of their first and only son at the time Noah.

Emma and Obi are now blessed with 2 very handsome sons and Emma recently shared her story of faith, belief (and moments of unbelief), hope and miracle of God's faithfulness. Please watch the video below, you would certainly be blessed:



Also, very recently, Emma and Obi dedicated their second son Zac at their church, the City Temple (Elim) in Swansea and they made this beautiful video to celebrate. It's a bit of a 'Music and Me' as well, as I would encourage you to please pay attention to the background song (words on screen). It's also one of Emma's favourite songs..



How beautiful indeed. I had tears in my eyes as I watched. May God continue to bless and keep Emma, Obi and their gorgeous boys in Jesus name.

My prayer for you is that if there is anything at all you are trusting and holding on to God for, He would do it for you. No matter what the facts and proof are pointing to. No matter what the doctors have said, no matter what society has said, no matter what precedent has been or history has proven, may God answer your prayers and grant you the desires of your heart as you trust in Him in Jesus name.

"For with God, nothing shall be impossible" - Luke 1:37

Lots of love xxxx

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SpotLIGHT - Hi Salt!

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Last week, we introduced the new series SpotLIGHT and I would be talking about making that decision to work in an industry that many people see as 'indecent' or simply difficult for a Christian to thrive in.... By thrive, I mean being able to remain true to your faith while publicly and freely expressing it.

For many people reading this, you are probably in that similar situation, because guess what? Irrespective of the industry you're in or what career path you choose, just being in the world today is enough to be termed 'indecent' and simply difficult to thrive as a Christian. (Yes? Yes! :-D)

How do you then survive? How do you shine the LIGHT bright enough to stand out for Jesus and influence others as well? 

According to the Bible, you and I are the salt of the earth. This doesn't change depending on location, status or position. 

The first thing you must ask yourself is who am I and what do I represent? How do people see me and what kind of image do I project and/or hope to project?

To be honest, it is not easy at all.. But very possible by His grace.

Think about these questions and next week, we continue.... 

Don't forget, the SpotLIGHT is on YOU....

"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men." - Matthew 5:13

Converstations with One: Who Should Pay on Dates?

Hello everyone!

We are back with another edition of Conversations with One!! Here's the question for this week:

When dating/courting, is it alright to split expenses in half?

So, when we go out to eat or go on a date, should the man be expected to pay solely or should it be equal contribution from both man and woman?

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Nike: Please, why do we have to share the bills? God forbid I take up a man's responsibilities. I know a lot of dating rules have changed especially the women fighting for equality with men. I was surprised to find out that some women find it insulting for a man to pay the bills on the first date. They would rather spilt the bills.

Yes we can!

Ayo: It's the 21st century Nikkysho :-)

Bodam: To be honest, I don't really understand this 21st Century style of dating... I'm a 1980's kinda gal! Loool!

Nike: My culture and religion forbid such act. The man is head of the family and should always take the lead.
The only reason I'll take up the bills when on a date is if I asked him out or I want to give him a special treat. A cultured man will even insist to pay.
Although, there might be a few exceptions when in courtship especially if it involves a large sum of money and you know he might not be able to afford it, then it's wise to make a contribution.

I got you baby...

One: Ok, so I get what you're saying - The man should pay but on some occasion when you know his financial limitations, you can contribute...

Bodam: Nikkysho... I think you've said it all!

Seriously though, if we're going on a date, then I believe Le Boo should pay... Once in a while (or maybe even more often), I will treat him out and then pay or after the date, take him to a movie and pay or do something and pay, but I don't believe it should be a 'requirement' for the date. Infact, if we do go out and the Bobo says can you pick up half the tab, I run..

I'm outta there in a flash!

One: Lol.. Miss B!

Bodam: And before my modern ladies and gentlemen jump down my throat... Loool! I don't 'need' Le Boo to feed me - truth be told, I can afford whatever occasion out myself.

One: See disclaimer - "I'm not a leech!" Lol

Bodam: ... But there is something so cultured and proper about a gentleman taking me out, opening my door, and treating me like a lady... And at the end of the date, that includes footing the bill.

One: Hmmm, I get what you mean. I used to think it didn't matter so much until I met some guys who haven't murdered chivalry and I have to say it was..... nice and refreshing. I felt like a lady (I didn't even know I wanted to feel like one lol) 

No, not in any way like this :-D (and it's 'off')

Bodam: If you cannot afford Intercontinental Hotel, please let us go to Mr. Biggs... It's not a status thing... You're not a man by how much money you have in your pocket... You're a man by how you lead... You're a man by the vision you have for your future and how you're working towards it... And you're a man by how you treat your lady! :-)

One: *standing ovation*.. Loveeeet! It's not really about the money you're able to spend but the idea that you are mindful of treating me well and with courtesy.. That's not asking for too much right?.. But let's see what others have to say...

True or False?

Isioma: I like Nikkysho's response - matter of fact. I Lol-ed at #Godforbid

Ok in my opinion I think it depends on who you're dating and your background.
My sisters from the West side may say yea sure, it's an equal world why not? Although I have a few West side sisters who are still very traditional. Then my sisters from downtown (youknowwahamsaying) will say nah nah nah! 'He the man, he gotta pay the bills.' 

One: Lol.. Alright, go ahead, give us the West side / Downtown analogy!

Isioma: Speaking as a downtown sister, I won't split the bills. The men I know are raised to be caretakers, they know how to handle their business and matter of fact, they take pleasure in taking care of their women. It may even hurt their ego if you attempt to or suggest a split the bills.
'Christianly' speaking, men have a large responsibility as 'caretakers' and God didn't make a mistake when He brought Eve to be the 'helpmeet', so I quite like to help only where necessary.....lol! I mean the occasional surprises and gift buying are most definitely recommended but not a conscious bill split. Call me traditional but I'm sticking with it. 

Traditional and proud!

One: Lol @ where necessary. But I get what you mean about men's egos being hurt, I have met one or two like that. The truth is that I have found that many men in Nigeria are still quite 'traditional' when it comes to that. However, it comes with a price..  They are traditional in ALL aspects.. So if you want him to pay all the bills, be ready to spend quality time in the kitchen :-) (not in all cases though).

Isioma: From what I've sometimes seen and heard, two things happen when she splits the bills. 

1. He feels slighted and thinks she's proud/pompous

2. He becomes lazy and sees you as his ATM 

One: *let me cut in for a second* - Really? He thinks you're proud/pompous?! Guys, I need your take on this - true or false?? - Alright, kwantinu please..

Isioma: You don't want either of the two options so I'll say, know who you're dating - is he from the West side with a 'modern' ideology (in which case- sorry oh) or does he like to take care of his woman like my downtown brothers? Also, is he genuinely broke and really needs your support? In this case you gotta be very careful too so you don't hurt his ego in doing good. Maybe that dinner can turn into a chill-out movie night on the couch to save cost #justsaying.

Bodam: Baby girl... I agree with you 100%... Only thing I'd say is wisdom must prevail in the cost-cutting....

If they're a Christian couple, then let's be frank: too many chill-out movie nights on the couch to cut costs may lead to some other extra curricular activities to "save on heating".. Loool!

Isioma: LOL.. I have to say though that when you're courting, the ball changes. You can help with some things especially in planning your wedding or investing into your future home but then again, be wise!

Bodam: Bottom line, as you've said - in all things there should be a balance. Be creative! If money is an issue, then learn to date on a budget! Thank God for the Internet, there are so many creative things one can do that don't cost so much...

A friend told me a story... She went on a date... At the end of the meal, bobo took the bill and placed some money into it, then pushed it to her side of the table for her to cover the rest! Haaaa... After all the pleas of "can I take you out"?! Loolll

Wisdom is profitable to direct... :-)

One: Hahaha.. That's classic! 

Alright ladies and gentlemen.. Over to you. We'd love to get your thoughts on this one.. Do you agree or vehemently disagree? It would be great to hear from the men as well! Do you think it's ridiculous to be expected to pay for most of your dates or that it's only wise to split things in half?

Let's talk....

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