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Monday, 21 July 2014

Get UGLY!

I have come to discover that 'blog-ville' as the blog community is fondly referred to, is a treasure-chest full of amazing people and personalities. I have met such wonderful people that have become lovely friends despite the fact that we have never met.

I have been blessed by the immense talent and gifts that people share each day through the avenue of prose, poetry and (a lot of!) drama lol via various blogs that I could spend a stretch of time discovering and exploring..


One of such blogs is Adaeze Obiako's 'Deserve Your Great Life'. The moment you are welcomed into her cyber-world, you just have that feeling of great hospitality. I have never met Adaeze but I can almost bet that she is very sweet and the kind of person that looks out for the good in everyone. 

She writes with such simplicity, depth, sincerity and passion that you feel drawn in.

You can imagine my pleasure and delight when she sent a message announcing the release of her first E-book titled 'Get U.G.L.Y'. Of course, the title itself was enough to pique my interest! lol.

The cover is simply designed but very catchy and I loved the sub-topic "How to become Unconditionally Grateful Looking like You" U.G.L.Y - gerrit?! hehe


I am a ravenous reader, particularly when it's a good read and this was no different - I consumed the book in one read, lol. The fact that it's also not very lengthy (only 34 pages) made it a very easy and pleasant read - So even if you're not the 'reading type', you can quite easily get into it!

Now, the book itself starts from a personal point where Adaeze in her usual 'real' style of writing talks about her experience of getting to accept and be confident with her looks. In her own words, "I was a quiet loner and went through High School feeling 'unpretty' and unaccepted by my peers...". She continues with what brought about a transformation and goes on to share 10 powerful and practical tips to becoming U.G.L.Y!

It's a worthwhile and engaging read indeed (it almost feels like you can see her making her point :-), and more than ever, it is important to recognise the importance of falling in love with YOU as sadly, more people just don't know how to!

So ladies and gentlemen, it's time to Get U.G.L.Y, that's right, be Unconditionally Grateful Looking like YOU!

You can download a FREE copy of the book by clicking on the link below (See, I told you Adaeze must be a kind soul! :-)

http://www.deserveyourgreatlife.com/p/get-ugly-ebook.html

Let me know what you think when you've read it! :-) xxxx

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Adaeze Diana Obiako is a freelance writer, copy-editor, speaker, and vision coach who helps young Christian women feeling depressed/hopeless discover who they are and why they exist so that they can learn how to enjoy more fulfilling and fruitful lives. She blogs about the spiritual lessons she’s learnt at www.deserveyourgreatlife.com. You can follow Adaeze on Twitter and Google+.

The lovely Adaeze Obiako :-)

Friday, 18 July 2014

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I want to thank You for being the best friend a girl could have. Thank you for seeing me - flaws and all, yet still love me beyond my imagination.

Thank You for the peace I have in you, peace that passes human understanding. Peace that is there even when things don't look 'there'.

Thank You for the joy that I have in You - the joy that has bubbled over throughout this week and that could only be from you. No one, nothing at all could ever give this 'high'... I feel like I'm floating, like my heart would burst with joy and excitement, yet there's no physical thing I could put my finger on that is responsible for it.. Infact, I do know that no physical thing or being is responsible for this joy - it's all YOU! Thank You.

Thank You for making my life complete. For the completeness I feel in You. Thank You because nobody and nothing else could ever do it for me this way. You are IT Lord, You are absolutely IT.

Tonight, I join by family by love in Wales to lift up the name of JESUS at the Festival of Life! I know Lord JESUS that You will show up and show up BIG! I am filled with excitement!!

Oh, how could I forget the wonderful news of our addition.. I say 'our' because this baby is loved by so many already. Thank You for the Makanjuolas, thank You for baby Makanjuola - You are truly special Daddy and I could never ever say it enough - THANK YOU.

I love You, You are no 1 in my life. You are my no 1 Friend, my no 1 King, my no 1 Desire, the One that takes precedence in my heart, the One that sits firmly on the throne of my heart. You are the one that comes First always, You have top spot, top priority always.

Take all the glory!

Love You always,
One xx

PS, Would you like to be a part of The Festival of Life in Wales with Pastor E.A Adeboye? Please join the live stream here if you can't be in Wales :-) xx http://new.livestream.com/rccgonline/events/3197829 - Oh yes, thank You Lord for technology! :-)

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Convos With One: Help! My Man's BFF is a 'She'!

This is a new series on 1 + The One and I am very excited about it! It started randomly (many new things often do lol)..

I had been exploring a 'He Said / She Said' series and been thinking of the technicalities. Basically, it's obvious that men and women think DIFFERENTLY! You didn't know? What planet did you escape from?! lol..


Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! 

Well, look no further! Each week, my wonderful friends and I (have I ever told how simply amazing my friends are?! I am truly blessed!) will bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. Sometimes, we will agree, but be sure that we would also disagree! We would kick-off the discussion and we welcome your contributions and comments.

Is there anything (anything at all!) you have always wanted to ask or just simply want to discuss? Please, send me an email at oneplustheone@gmail.com! We would be happy to start-off the discussion.

You can have a look at last week's conversation where we discussed Men and Communication

Today, we discuss a dilemma from a reader, which quite frankly I have heard many people ask! I even did a post on it some time back HERE... Here goes - 

"My fiance is BFFs (best friends forever) with a girl who happens to be an ex - well, not strictly an ex but they almost dated but couldn't. He has assured me that there's nothing between them and they have been family friends for a long time so they are 'cool like that'. Of course I am not 'cool like that' about it but me getting upset ends up looking like I am the 'evil jealous girl' lol and it actually causes issues between us sometimes. Truth is I trust him but I don't trust the friendship! So here's the question *drum roll*
1) Should a guy be close/best friends with another girl even though he is in a relationship or married 
2) Should he even still be in contact with her?!"

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Mr JohnNashSo this is what I think and this is my opinion. I am actually talking from experience.

OneAlright, let's go there! lol

Mr JohnNashThere was an amazing girl I used to like, despite the fact that we did not date, we liked each other very much. This really affected the relationships I went into. The girls I have dated will testify.

1) Should a guy be close/best friends with another girl even though he is in a relationship or married?

Answer: No he shouldn't.

i. Every woman likes to feel special and feel appreciated. Every woman enjoys the thought that she is her husbands all in all and every other person or thing is secondary, even her children!!! 

OneAmen to that!! :-D


Mr JohnNashGrowing up in my house, we knew our dad loved us to bits but we also knew his wife was number 1 on his list. Lol...

The idea of a best friend in the first place will create tension. I have a very close friend. We have been friends for almost two decades. Our friendship is like blood. Every now and then his wife will tease me and call me her rival. Recently, she uploaded a picture of me on BB and added the status message: "My rival" Lol. I understand her view point so I give my friend space every now and then. Pause for a second, this is a situation where her husband's BFF is a guy. Imagine how she would feel if his BFF was a girl? Not too good I assure you!

OneLol @ "My Rival".. Ladies can pass some serious subliminal messages though haha. That's coded for, "My friend, mind yourself"

Mr JohnNashLol. Secondly, you never really stop liking the people you like. It's situations and circumstances that change - marriage, relocation, maturity. Hence making a girl you nearly dated in the past your best friend is not healthy for your marriage or marriage to be. It makes a lot of sense to withdraw and give your fiancée or wife some respect. Emotions usually linger, so it's best to stay away as much as you can.

iii. Finally the Bible says in Matthew 19:5:
"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh?"

Now if the bible commands that a man should leave his father and mother who gave birth to him and nurtured him for years, I am guessing the man automatically must leave his family friends, ex girl friends or almost girl friends lol. Trust me no woman likes to share her man. 

OneThank you! I love the real-ness of your response and bringing a personal perspective to it.. Me, I disagree absolutely with female BFFs, then to make it an ex! Lai lai.. lol.. The fact that he must have had some degree of deep emotions for her is already a vulnerable point. Why play with fire? There are many men out there who make great friends #JustSaying 

Nubian PrincessI used to operate a double standard! As the only girl in my class, I had a number of male friends, particularly, two I'm really close to. The friendship lasted through various girlfriends and now one of them is married! I also used to take offence if their SO's (Significant other) objected to our friendship! There was never any romantic interest though just a very strong friendship! On the flip side, if my significant other had a female BFF, IT WILL NOT GO DOWN WELL WITH ME AT ALL!!! 


Loool... 
Seriously though, it can be a bit dangerous and as I've grown older (and hopefully wiser), I've come to realise that sometimes, there is a tendency to get comfort from your BFF especially when you're having issues with your SO. You may be tempted to share stuff with them that should really be shared with your spouse... From there... #Fire #UnnecesaryIntimacy #DownwardSpiral #EmotionalAffair?

OneLool.. I can definitely understand your point! I am very guilty of the double standards too! 
So, how about the 2nd question, should he still be in contact with her?

Mr JohnNash
Answer: Yes he can but sparingly.
A text once in a while. On her birthday, at Christmas etc.

One's School of Thought - hehehe.. iKid
The reason I think so is this. No man is an island. You need people to help you achieve destiny. Some of the greatest breakthroughs I have received in life have come from people I used to be very close to. Yes, you are married but your wife might not be the only person who will propagate you to destiny. There might be a few others. An old friend might be one of them so could an ex or almost ex lol.
Finally my grand father used to tell me something when I was young, he's late now. He would say: "Nash, never ever close a door, you might need to open it again." 

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And with those wise words, we end today's convo.. So what's your take? We would like to hear from you! Is it alright for a guy to have a female BFF even though he is in a relationship or married? Also, what would be your reaction or response to it?

Join us again next week for more Convos with One! If you would like to ask a question please send your email to oneplustheone@gmail.com xx

PS - *Milestone alert* this is the 100th Post on 1 + The One in 2014 - Thank God! 
Dedicated to SisiYemmie and Bobo who (finally!) begin the journey to marital life today!! Here's praying that you have a really blessed marriage and that your home would always be full of love and joy #YemYom14 #PermanentSite #SisiBobo #Surulere

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Waiting and Loving It!!! - Feat Lisa and Ikechukwu Nnamdi

Hello everyone!

It's been a time and half since the last Waiting and Loving It feature!! Thank you for checking and encouraging us during the 'quiet' period (This one is dedicated to you Grace! At least you won't check 'in vain' today lol). Today we are back with another edition; being guests of the wonderful Nnamdis who share with us their own experience of the journey to being husband an wife, Waiting and Loving It! Hope you enjoy and are blessed! xx

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Hello Mr and Mrs Nnamdi! It's wonderful to meet you and we are really glad that you would be letting us have a glimpse into your world! Please kindly give us a brief introduction to yourselves:

Ikechukwu: We are Team Iyke made up of the highly prestigious and extremely beautiful NNAMDI TOOLISA NNEKA popularly referred to as Pst. Lisa and the simple NNAMDI IKECHUKWU SAMUEL aka Pst. Iyke. We are certified marriage mentors and relationship coaches. We got married on the 14th day of February 2009 and we are headed to 6 years of amazing marital bliss. 

Sealed on Valentine's Day!
Yea! The Love was so strong that we exchanged vows on the highly acclaimed love day lol, however we strongly believe that every day is a day of love.

Our hobbies are cooking, travelling, reading (my wife), while for me, it's driving, flying, playing games and teaching.

A Valentine's day wedding, nice! So, please tell us, how did you meet? 

Ikechukwu: We met in church, HOUSE ON THE ROCK, Enugu. I was attracted to her dogged commitment and love for God, her immaculate dress sense and her calm disposition.  

Pst Iyke & Pst Lisa :-)
Our meeting was most unconventional and maybe unromantic but not un-miraculous :-) It was not the beautiful-flower-garden kind of meeting, we weren’t even close before I proposed to her, but at that point in my life as a young man, I needed to get married. So I went to God in prayer and like many other men, I had some ladies in my mind. Lisa, was not among the ladies I was considering and praying about, but constantly her name, picture and consciousness was being impressed strongly on my mind. Amazingly, I now know that the impression was from God.

Why did I not consider her you may ask, well it's a very interesting story.

She was based in Lagos at the time and in my nature I hosted (accommodated) her boyfriend then and every evening they would speak over the phone through the newly introduced 'MTN midnight call'. They were hoping to get married. 
After a while, he got another accommodation which later had problems and for the second time he came back to my house, but this time around, some things had happened and they weren’t communicating as much as they did previously. I was actually concerned, I tried mediating but he warned me seriously that I should not disturb him and that if I wanted I could marry her myself. 

Now you know why I was never going to consider her. I didn't want to appear as a 'wife-snatcher'. I also said that to God when He kept impressing her on my mind. Then God asked me, "Are you the one who joined them? Did you proclaim them husband and wife?" and then I heard in my spirit that if I don't pay attention to her my search will not come to an end.

Back to my story, like I said, I proposed to my wife in a rather unconventional way. It was in my office at the church. I did not even kneel to propose! (which is the norm) I only said, "Take a good look at me from now henceforth. Observe me closely as I lead prayers, preach, carry myself about, do what I do and if you think that you can live with what you see as a husband, come and give me your answer. If it is a "Yes", let me know and if it is "No" still let me know.”

I'm sorry if the story is getting long, but I must end it by saying that the best way to know that a lady is your wife is to have that clear and explosive assurance from God. Your wife to be should not strike a cord, she should bring a BOMB! You must get to that point where you say "this is now the (BOMB)": "Bone Of My Bone". I call it the point of absolute assurance and that point is not triggered by curves, edges or boobs. It's nice for your wife to have all the departments in place but marriage is more than all the departments being in place. Her finger tips, lips and hips might or might not be in place as you like, but that is not as important as her being from God. Do you have that absolute assurance that will make you explode like Adam did and say "This is NOW (search is over) the Bone Of My Bone?..."

Please always remember that "A prudent wife is a gift from God..." (Prov 19:14). I am absolutely and totally blessed that I married my baby and best friend.

Lisa: Our relationship before he proposed to me was a student/teacher one, because he was my teacher when I was going through the foundation classes as a new member. During the classes, I loved his fragrance and neatness, admired his passion for teaching especially on relationship/marriage related topics. I wouldn't say I was attracted to him before he proposed to me (considering that I met him through my ex, I never imagined he would ever ask me to marry him!) but I just wished silently in my heart for God to give me a man like him. Amazingly, God did not give me a man like him but him.

In fact, I confessed to him later in our marriage that I wanted to say YES on that very day he proposed to me but I just decided to be a lady and not appear too 'easy'. Then as we got into courtship, I was swept off my feet by his simplicity, humility, sincerity, sense of humour and compassionate heart.

Wow, that's a very unconventional and interesting meeting! It's great to receive that assurance and peace from God about any matter. Thanks for being honest and real with us. Next question, why do you think it's important to keep sex in the context of marriage? 

Ikechukwu: THE BIBLE, which we refer to as our manual says that "Marriage is honourable and the bed undefiled" (Heb 13:4). Bed-defilement negatively affects the honour in marriage. 
You see, to every product there are 'DOS and DONTS'. When people prefer to do the donts, they wreck the product. For instance, if I poured water into my car tank instead of fuel, I would simply be making a statement that I don't want this car to last. 
Every producer includes a manual which is the explanation of the product so that people can study and find out how to utilise and maximise the product. If you are very protective of your car and you are wise not to pour water in the fuel tank, then you should be even more protective and wiser when it comes to your marriage. 


What would you have done differently if you had the opportunity to do it again?

Lisa: I dabbled into a relationship immediately after my secondary school and I was so immature, naive and clueless about the intricacies of dating. It got me distracted and actually cost me a lot, including my virginity. That's something I do regret; in hindsight, I would have preferred to wait until my wedding night. 
If I had the opportunity to turn back the hands of time, I wouldn't get into any serious relationship until probably after university. I believe I would have been a lot more mature and wiser to avoid most of the mistakes I made.

Ikechukwu: I would have married much more earlier. Not that I married late, but I am disturbed at the rate at which we do some important things very late. Men marry late and at 60 they are still doing school runs. So when their sons or daughters are grown and ready to marry, they are close or even in the grave! lol. I would be lying if I said that I don't know why some men delay getting married. Some of them are willing, but the economy is weak. 

Lol.. may their willingness be translated to action! 
Thank you so much for sharing with us today. It's been a really enlightening interview. 
At this point, we like to give you some space and we encourage you to affirm each other, you've chatted with us, now it's time to express yourselves to each other :-) 

Ikechukwu
Li Nwa! You are indeed the best! Marrying you was never a mistake and like I always say, if God would allow marriage in Heaven, I would marry you with all delight and pleasure. I love loving you and God bless that wonderful day when you said "YES I WILL MARRY YOU!" Just look at me now! You've transformed an ugly man into a super handsome dude. You are too much. I LOVE YOU!

Lisa
Ikem, my groom, my king, my best friend! You have groomed me into the woman I never thought I would ever become. 'Pst. Lisa' is now a brand courtesy of you. I'm grateful to God for giving you to me, I'm happy I followed you, I'm glad I married you. We shall continually live our dreams, together forever, till death do us part. I love loving you! Onye nwem gozie gi! (My Lord bless you)

Don't get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing!
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Awww, that's so beautiful! Lovely way to end the interview! It's been great reading and learning from the Nnamdis. Sometimes, God doesn't work in the 'obvious' ways, however His ways are always marked with peace, joy and contentment.
Also, if you forget everything else, please remember Car - Fuel vs Water. It's always best to know what the manual says and to follow closely to get the very best use.
I thank God for His everlasting mercy and grace, it doesn't matter what the past says, once we take that step to Him, He is able to revive and restore all. He is also able to give the grace to do it!
I am #WaitingandLovingIt, Yes I can! :-)

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Pst. Iyke and his beautiful wife are the serving Pastors of the ever increasing and vibrant HOUSE ON THE ROCK, Benin City
Pst Iyke has also authored popular relationship books -  "Women, We-men are Sorry" and "Finding Mr. Right"
You can connect with them via their social media platforms:
Twitter: @Pstiyke @Pst_lisa
Instagram: instagram.com/samysaint
Facebook: facebook.com/samysaint
Email: pstiyke@gmail.com 
Blog: www.pstiyke.blogspot.com / www.pstiyke.wordpress.com

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Please click HERE for other Waiting and Loving It Couples!

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
Email - oneplustheone@gmail.com

Twitter - @1plustheone
Facebook - www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Dancing Got Me Sprung

I remember growing up as a boy, I always had a heart for God but never had a relationship with Him. Sometimes when I went to visit my grandmother, as she gathered with her friends at night since she was a widow and they all came to keep her company, I would tie a scarf on my head and ask everyone to gather together for us to pray. (I even thought tying a scarf as a male figure was normal. Ignorant me…lol). My family were church-goers and so I was brought up in that way but I still felt a void in my soul which yearned for more; its rightful occupant. AW Tozer in his book “Pursuit of God’ mentioned that when God made man, there was a rightful place in the heart of man where only God and God alone could occupy but often times men try to occupy them with ephemeral things such as money, cars, houses etc and yet the void still remains.

So I went on living my life doing everything a teenager would do - both the good and the not so good…lol (No details pls). But my turnaround started when I was forcefully made to attend a Christian University where attending godly events such as fellowships, week of spiritual emphasis etc was somewhat compulsory. (Isn’t if funny how God can deny us our present desire with the aim of ensuring that we are aligned to His will?) At the time, I had all my focus channelled towards moving to the United States for further academic pursuit but God had better plans for this His boy. So while I was in Uni and attended these events out of compulsion, I was oblivious to the fact that I was being exposed to the teachings of Christ in ways which I never knew, not even realising that seeds of salvation were being sown in my heart.

Fast forward my life to Dec 2009, my Aunty invited me to her Church stating that the praise and worship session was amazing as she knew that I enjoyed this since I loved dancing even if I wasn’t accustomed to such in my family church where I was raised. So I gladly attended and boy did I enjoy it, I boogied beyond imaginations…lol and for the first time it felt like home. As the sermon came to a close, an altar call was made and I knew in my heart that this was "it" and there was no going back bearing in mind that I had responded to approximately about 6 altar calls in various places I attended prior to this time. After the prayers, the counselling team took us to a room for follow up and this amazing woman whom I would never forget “Mrs Segun Adegbeye” took me to a corner and spoke to me, telling me of how much I was loved by God, His willingness to forgive my sins and how I did not have to keep coming out each time an altar call was made thinking that my sins would only be forgiven at altar calls, but that the moment I came out the first time and declared Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal Saviour, my sins were forgiven and all I needed was to confess to Him my sins and genuinely repent of them whenever I erred.
When I went back to visit the Church last year (2013) to tell her how I was doing and how I had joined the workforce in serving God at the church where I was, I was informed that the lovely Mrs Segun had passed on. However, I was happy such an angel added to my foundation as a Christian.

After this experience, I decided to join my Aunty’s church and this decision was faced with great opposition and mockery from family and friends, especially family, which I sometimes still face till this day but I was so resolute in my decision. I remember when I used to send 'Open Heavens' daily devotionals to everyone on my contact list via email and my Dad happened to be one of them, he called me one day and expressed his distaste for my decision which was also echoed by my mum, but at that time, there was no going back.

In this journey, there have been ups and downs. Times when I have let God down and times when I felt that I was on His “A” list…lol. But through it all, I am glad the rightful person has occupied His place in my heart and what He will do through me in the near future is sure to be a wonder to my generation.

I write this to encourage you who may be sitting on the fence as to whether or not to will your life to Jesus Christ and also to you who may be thinking “Have I made the right choice?" No other choice can satisfy than a choice to live for the “One” who laid it ALL for His friends. You see, one of my greatest joys in life is when I see those who I thought while growing up were the “Celebrity boys and girls” whose way of life I wanted to earnestly emulate in the quest for being celebrated by my peers, publicly declare their love for Jesus Christ and their decision to forsake their former ways (of which I saw one on Facebook yesterday and I was gladdened). It only confirms to me that I made the right choice in choosing Jesus Christ and perhaps, had I opted to live like the 'Celebrity boys and girls' back in the day, I may never have had the chance to return to Jesus Christ before taking my last breath, which I know is a long while from now because my PURPOSE on earth MUST be fulfilled.

Jesus Rocks!!!! and so will you when you live your life for Him.

God bless you.
Jeffrey Nsofor

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Were you blessed by Jeffrey's personal experience? Do you also have, or feel a void deep inside and you yearn for more? Would you like to also have this wonderful encounter and relationship too? Just say this simple prayer with me - 

'Jesus, thank You for dying for my sins on the cross. I appreciate and acknowledge your sacrifice. I want to invite you into my life today, come and fill this void Jesus, I believe in my heart that You are Lord and I want You to be my Lord. Please forgive me for my sins and make me brand new today in Jesus name. Thank You for a new start Lord, I give You praise. Amen'

Wow! Congratulations, your life just became amazing! Welcome to a new life, a new relationship :-) xxxx

Ps If you prayed that prayer or want to know a bit more about all that has been said above, please send me an email at oneplustheone@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you!

Also, if you would like to share your own experience too, please send me an email.

Have a wonderful weekend people! Lots of loveeee xxxxx

Friday, 11 July 2014

Dear Daddy (2) - Ireti Adebayo Oladapo

‎Sitting on the porch, You and I - that's what friends do.
... until life happened...


But one friend stayed true
One friend remained glued
One friend continued, faithful
One friend looked on and loved in-spite.


That's what true friends do - love in-spite - despite. Deeper. Still.


How resplendent to have you, Dear Daddy, as my friend.


May Your love flow through me
May I embrace You like You embrace me.
Humans are fickle, but You my eternal friend have never left, never forsaken, never judged. Oh, and You never gossip.


Your blood, washes away my diseases, my inadequacies, infirmities and blemishes.

Down on my knees by the porch, You bare me up, hold me tight, light feathery touches that kisses all the tears, fears, doubts. You say "FEAR NOT, I REMAIN WITH YOU." You know, Dear Daddy, only sometimes, I don't.


My heart says yes. Yes to your friendship, your softness, your touch. Yes Daddy, Daddy, Yes. Now and always, Yes. I do not want to fear, ever again.


Thank you, Daddy.


If there wasn't me and my likes, You wouldn't have come. You are here for a sinner like me, a lover like me. How noble is that? A more faithful friend, none can find.


Thanks for reminding me that there's
... No better lover than you,
Not one friend more faithful,
None greater,
No touch as soothing and feathery,
Not a Father who cares more ...


When tired, arms of grace lift me.
When hopes suggest they fade, I stare into the eyes of love.
Even when tears flow - Your words a safe stead - my assurance.
I may not understand and erm... I may erm... You know, I sometimes may doubt those words that harbour me. At such times, Daddy, help me remember our porch experiences, my sole assurance.

'Hope differed makes the heart sick' Please, Daddy please, Jehovah el'myDaddy, bind my heart, glue with love and do not seem far from me.


So like a home to a sparrow, I take our porch with me on my life's journey. My secret place, sacred. Domain of truth, of warmth, of wholeness. That niche where I find grace, redemption, and my scars mean no shame. Our shared place. My friend and I. Dear Daddy.



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You can read the first part of Ireti's Dear Daddy HERE

Thursday, 10 July 2014

Conversations with One - Men and Communication!

I read this truly brilliant post about 'Men and their Feelings' by Cornelius Lindsey and I found it really interesting and informative.


It's amazing how so differently wired men and women are, and it's really important to be able to understand this and work with this knowledge to avoid a lot of 'heart-aches' lol.. 

Usually when I read enlightening articles like this, I send it by email to a group of my friends (male and female). Now, this one sparked a very interesting email conversation that I share below...

Mr Biishop
Finally, women can begin to read about guys and truly understand how guys work!!!!

Eh! Surely theris God O!!!!

Thanksgiving tinz on Sunday

One
Lol, serious thanksgiving tinz on Sunday.. Getting my praise on.. Infact including testimony too!

I have gleaned the information, and God will help me to apply.. But mehn, sometimes I wonder why men and women are so different.. If we thought the same way, it would make life so much easier ... And possibly very boring too! lol

God definitely knows what He was (and is) doing!

Ms Hope
In recent times, I have really come to know, understand, respect and then appreciate these variant wiring.
Baba God you do well oooo. Lol.

One
We need a post as well describing the importance of men understanding the need for them to compromise once in a while and just talk!

Mr Biishop
I think all women should read this post and have as devotion sha, that way there will be more world peace. #JustSaying.

Guys should also learn about women and all, but you girls are complicated sha.

Ms Hope
But what's so complicated in 'open your mouth, heart all and talk?' Lol. ‎Talking is good, talking is therapeutic, talking is beautiful, blissful, *rme* (rolling my eyes). I don't know why they don't want to talk. 

Btw (By the way), I've learnt to develop an interest in sports, politics, science and all those other very dry sturvs. Lol.

This is what they teach them in 'Men School' lol
Mr Biishop
Well if men talked as much as women did... Hmmmmm
I can't imagine it, even some guys who are gifted with the art of talking frustrate women.
Guys are very chatty at the early stages and then...

"Enough already!" Source

One
I think it would be quite a 'disaster' if men talked as much as women!  (who will do the listening?!) lol. BUT it's still good for them to express themselves to their partners. Love is a risk, which includes being vulnerable! Therefore, if you have made that choice to love then you have to take the responsibility that comes with it too - the good, bad and ugly (including talking lol).

Erhmm, by the way, is that not double standards (being chatty at the earlier stages).. Later they will say women pretend during courtship!

Ms Hope
Thank you.
Then what happens?

Mr Biishop
.. Then I think the guy has gathered whether or not to allow some intimate parts to be shared, in my own opinion, I say guys are like onions, layered and you don’t rush to peel otherwise two things happen - either you cry (eyes get watery) or you mess up a layer or other aspects of the layers yet exposed, a true revelation of a guy's mind and girls is in the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. A must read for both guys and girls.

One
Hmm.. That's very deep - I like the onion analogy.. But gosh, that's some longgggg sturves.. I think the key is patience/long-suffering - Not in the time I think it should happen but when he is ready to open up (Lord please make it quick!! lol).

I have heard a lot about that book and I hear it's a worthwhile read, just like 'The 5 Love Languages'.

Ms Hope
Yes, the best way for a woman to deal with it is to be at peace with the situation, don't pressurize, let your actions and inactions show him his secrets are safe with you and ultimately place the situation in prayer.

*End of Conversation*

So what's your take on it? Should men be more expressive? How do you work with a chatty or non-chatty partner?

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Waiting on a Dream

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He could feel the biting cold through his skin as he tried to use the small scrap of cloth to cover some parts of his body. The cell stank and the lunch he had just endured threatened to pour out from his gut. No matter how long he ate the food, he could never get used to how terrible it was. At least he had a better portion than the rest of his mates, he thought as he chuckled to himself, thanking God for small mercies that make a big difference. Being the leader even in this forlorn place had its advantages, he smiled.

He sighed "But Abba, it is getting more difficult to smile or keep my head up. How long would it take? How long Elohim? I tell the other boys the story of the God of my youth and they laugh with mirth at how ridiculous I sound. I tell them the stories that my beloved Papa regaled us with night after night - true stories, some of which he saw himself and some which even happened to him! And sometimes I do think that they believe I may have lost it!" 

He pushed the cloth away from his skin as he rose to walk the small length of his 'home' soliloquising "How do I explain angelic visitations, stairways to heaven, Papa wrestling with you?! It all sounds so mad, completely FOOLISH!! Am I running mad? Is it folly to still hold on to the dreams of years gone past? Did I not see it? Was it not you? Why did I open my big mouth! Oh why Abba, why have all these terrible things happened to me?! I have tried.. tried so hard to love you - the unseen God. I have tried, tried so much to obey you like Papa admonished us day and night. I have striven, striven to honour you even when I had so many ways out... So many easier options which I rejected because I would rather honour you." As he thought aloud, he couldn't help the tears that escaped his lashes as his voice broke with every word.

"I have been forgotten Lord, who remembers me? Who knows my name? Time and time again I have been forgotten. I have paid the price for crimes unknown. My heart has been broken in two by family and foes. Disappointments, I have to bear over and over again. Years and years have gone past and I ask again, would this ever change Lord? Would the dreams ever come through? Will you let me die a prisoner in a foreign land".

"JOSEPH! Come". The Chief Security Officer calls out loudly to him, and then turns to speak to the men hovering around the cell - "Guards take him, change him, the King wants him!"

*************************************************

During the season of waiting, one comes to almost fully appreciate the story of Joseph. A man who was given a dream years and years before, yet everything pointed contrary to it.

Can you imagine for a minute how he must have felt waiting all those years?! Waiting for a dream that started from teenage-hood and didn't get fulfilled until adulthood; with a lot of disappointments, betrayals, impossible situations and suffering in-between.
But he had a dream.. And only he would have been able to deprive himself of it; not his brothers, not his parents, not Potiphar or his wife, not the Baker or the Cupbearer.

The season of waiting for the fulfilment of a dream or a promise can be one of the most difficult periods in our lives. You may be waiting for God to bring you that dream spouse, that dream child, that dream job, that dream opportunity, that dream change..  You may have cried your fair share of tears, done your bit in fasting and praying, obeying God through it all yet it seems like nothing is happening right now.

You may be just ready to give up.

I want to encourage you today to please hold on to your dream, hold on to your promise.. Just as God came through for Joseph, He will come through for you.

It is difficult now, it looks bleak now BUT God never leaves you, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut 31:6). He is right there with you urging you to hold on, to keep going because He is not a man that should lie, neither the son of man that should repent of His word (Num 23:19). That dream of yours will come to pass, that promise will be fulfilled. Please don't give up yet. No matter how bad it is right now, your joy will come in the morning and when it does you won't stop dancing.

"... All the days of my appointed time, I will wait till my change comes" - Job 14:14b

"When the Lord brought back the captivity of Zion (insert your name here), we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing, then they said among the nations, "the Lord has done great things for them". The Lord has done great things for us and we are glad." - Psalm 126:1-3

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You can read the story of Joseph yourself in Genesis 37 - 46

New here? You're most welcome! 
Please follow on Twitter @1plustheone, on Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone and if you want to, please send me an email too - oneplustheone@gmail.com - It's always lovely to hear from you :-) xx



Monday, 7 July 2014

Where are Your Manners?!

How was your weekend?! Mine was wonderful! It always is after the Holy Ghost Service at the Redemption camp on the first Friday of the month - Theme for the night was 'The Blessed of the Lord'.. I feel blessed :-) May this be an exceptionally blessed month for you too in Jesus name.

So, I learnt something important early Saturday morning. 

I was sitting with my beautiful Aunts, Uncles and much younger cousins after the Service, quite tired and ready to snooze while watching my cousin play a racing game on his Dad's tablet. As he played, another young boy who was walking past was so drawn to it that he lost himself and just stood over my cousin watching the game. My Aunt and I said to each other "Wow, games are so addictive, look at the boy, he hasn't even realised that he is peering over a stranger's shoulders and it almost seems like he is about to fall into it". We went on to imagine the level of punishment and abara (famous back-slap invented by Nigerian mothers in 1843, known to cure most forms of deviant behaviour with alarming speed) we would have had the 'pleasure' of, if it had been us. 

Oi! Where are your manners mate?
Like we thought to ourselves, no manners! I mean, how could you just wander off, happen to see another boy in the midst of people and just stand over his shoulders, absolutely engrossed in the game that he was playing! (You know how you get when someone is reading your newspaper over your shoulders without being invited lol). Good manners say that you control yourself and just keep walking right?

Well, not too long afterwards, my Aunt whispers to me that "The woman sitting across us is his mum and can you believe that she has 5 young boys (2 sets of twins) and I happened to just make small talk with her about how she copes with all of them, when she starts to tell me with tears in her eyes that she does it alone, as their father was recently killed in Borno state by the terrorist group - Boko Haram".

I must have felt a douse of cold water on my face! I couldn't believe it! I looked again at the young boy peering over my cousin's shoulder and what I now saw was very different. I saw a boy who possibly needed to make new friends and probably escape from the hardness of life. My heart reached out to him as I couldn't imagine what life had dealt this young boy and his siblings. A life without a father.. A myriad of thoughts crossed my mind, "How does he feel?" "What did that sad loss mean to him?".. He was old enough to know what the loss of his father meant, but too young to have to deal with it.

I couldn't care less at that moment if he wanted to grab the game from my cousin's hands! It wouldn't have really mattered then. All I could see was a boy who needed all the love and understanding he could get. Far gone was my disapproving look and thoughts.

I asked God for mercy for being so hasty in judging his lack of good manners! And it dawned on me how quickly we sometimes stick our noses up at people for the way they are now or they behave, yet we do not understand the story behind that individual.

Judged until proven innocent
We want them to do 'the right thing' behave 'the right way', yet at that time, all they need is just to be.

It was a huge lesson for me - Always give people the benefit of your doubt. Be charitable always to others, you never know just what life has thrown at them or the enormity of what they have had to deal with. You never know what may be responsible for their actions - it doesn't excuse it all the time but it means that you empathise and just give them a break.

I will never forget a quote I read not too long ago - That individual who seems most difficult to love is probably most in need of love.

May God help us to be charitable in our thoughts and actions and to show love to all, at all times.

Have a wonderful and blessed week xx

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Love - THE Risk

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Love is a risk..

When you read that statement, what comes to mind?

I heard this yesterday and I had to take a moment to really consider the import of that statement.

Is love a risk?

When you choose to love, you choose to be vulnerable with the other person. Not in a negative way, but the truth is that when you release yourself to love, you expose yourself to being hurt, to being more VERY tolerant and accommodating, to giving a very significant part of yourself to someone else without really knowing what they would do with it.

If love is a risk, then does it mean that in taking that 'risk', it's important to be wise about it? You see, when you choose to love someone, there's some measure of release of power that you give to that person over your emotions, your thoughts, your desires and so much more.

Because usually, it's the one that you love the most that has the power to hurt you the most. It could be child to a parent, spouse to each other, friends or relatives. It could even be an object!

I guess that's one of the reasons why some people would rather not love... hold back a little, not be vulnerable, not relinquish that great deal of power to someone else.

I dare say that unfortunately, that's a very poor choice..

Source                        
Yes, love is a risk, yes it makes you quite vulnerable, yes, it could open you to hurt sometimes but love is such a worth-while risk!

Imagine a world without butterflies in your stomach? (lol) Imagine a world without warm companionship? Imagine a world without sacrifice? Imagine a world without hearing the words 'I Love You' and knowing that those words come from a deep place? Imagine a world without the pride you feel when you hear them say 'Mummy/Daddy' for the first time or when they come to you with a problem that only you could make better?

*deep sigh*

Yes, love is a huge risk - It takes a lot of courage and trust to truly love but it's a risk definitely worth taking!

So go on, take that risk :-D

Have a love-filled evening people :-) xx

Source

What's your take on it?




Monday, 30 June 2014

Love Cakes, Learn Cakes, Make Dough!

Hiya everyone!!

Hope your weekend was good? Mine was greattttt! Many things to be grateful for and Abba Father is just absolutely trust-worthy and wonderful. If your weekend wasn't so great, I pray that you will end the month of June in grand-style and that your July would be full of pleasant surprises in Jesus name!

So, raise your hands if you love cake as much as I do!!! You see, if you want to make my day, just get me those soft scrumptious cakes with loads of soft icing (oh, I see the calories.. calories.. calories - Kill-joys!!)... But you can't steal this joy, calories aside, I.Love.Cake.. 

In my younger days when folly was a more constant companion, I used to dream of having a fridge/freezer in my house exclusively for cakes and ice-cream! I thought that would be the dreammm! Alas, ice-cream kinda fell out of favour, but cake hung on tightly!..

My dream wedding cake? Tiers of cakes with a variety of types!! (Options of Red velvet, Carrot cake, Marble cake, Soft White Chocolate, Soft Brown Chocolate, Mixtures *sigh* #DreamofLife hahaha)... And no, guests are not sharing, we will make alternative arrangements for them + None of that 'family members distribution of cake things' like they do sometimes, there will also be alternative arrangements made too :-D

                                            

So, why all this talk about cake? Would you believe if I told you that as far as my love for cake goes, I have never actually indulged in the pleasure of learning how to bake one?! I have had several opportunities over the years that I haven't grabbed with both hands!! Imagine home-baked, fresh-from-the-oven delights of yumminess at will!!

Also, I would really like the pleasure of teaching my little munchkins how to bake too! (I've seen pictures! + buying little aprons with chef hats for them is just too attractive lol).

If your love for cake is not as great as mine, you may want to create some serious money-making avenue from it (those Bakers aren't 'smiling' with their prices!)...  You could learn from scratch or develop your skills in cake-making and cake-decoration..

Interested? Then the classes below will be perfect for you!!

!!! Cake Training Class !!!

Date: July 14th - 25th

Venue: Shop 3 Howson Wright Estate, Oregun, Ikeja (Lagos, Nigeria)

Time 11am- 3pm

Price: N50,000

Course Content: Sugar-craft, 3-tier Ruffled Wedding Cake, Iced and Piped Sugar-cookies, Cookies, Ballerina shoe (Cake-art), Birdcage Cake, Stenciled and Piped Cupcakes. 

Course Facilitator - Tobi Ugbene, Head Baker - Teespiration, Nottingham.



To register (quick!), please contact -   


Confirmation of place would be on a first-come basis!

Go on, register quick!!!

PS, I shall be very happy to be used for all cake-tasting sessions/activities *sigh*, things we do for love ey? :-D xxxx

Yum!!
                       

Saturday, 28 June 2014

Worship Got Me

I’ve always loved to sing, right from a young age. I remember attending a regular evening Christian event when I was about 7 or 8 years and I would plead with my Aunties to teach me a song every evening to be able to sing before a gathering of hundreds of people!

Well, fast forward to University days, I was still that girl who loved to sing, tried to live a good life, keep away from bad friends/company, went to morning masses very religiously (well it’s the upbringing eh!). I joined the choir, loved it for a bit but I soon got bored with it. I also joined the youth choir at home and soon again I was out.

Then I went for my National Youth Service (a compulsory 1year service to my country after University) in 2007 and one thing led to another, I was at this evening fellowship and there on the altar was this 'tiny' young lady, seemingly insignificant until she opened her mouth to sing…..I was dumb-founded for the first 5 minutes, I couldn't speak but just stare.

It wasn’t just the fact that she had the most beautiful voice I had heard, it was the humility and brokenness with which she worshipped. I sat there thinking, what could make a person sing from her soul? I ran to her after the worship and said "Please teach me how to sing…." Lol!
I soon learnt that most of the young people in that fellowship could sing… Wow! I wanted so bad to be part of them. Then again, I met another young man. He may never remember this day nor know how much he has impacted my life but I heard him worship God in his room. 
He was weeping like someone died and singing and when I asked him later why he was crying, he told me, "God overwhelms me so much I can’t help but cry." That day I told God I wanted to know Him so desperately... I needed to talk to him.

I knew I had stood up a ‘few’ times when they made an altar call for people who wanted to give their lives to Christ to raise their hands or come forward, but I knew then that I didn’t have Jesus yet.

Fast-forward again, 2009, I’m back home and my parents already learnt that I had changed church, but didn’t know how serious until I got back and was sneaking to Pentecostal churches (I was trying to find a bible believing church that I could connect with).

... But oh oh! Not good! First my Dad says it will NEVER HAPPEN in his house!
We argued, we quarreled, we bore malice, we hated each other…and oh….so many nights of tears! In fact my dad couldn't wait to quickly shove me to the UK to obtain my Masters degree as he had earlier promised so that I wont be influenced any further. 
I received counsels here and there and it almost seemed like I was a possessed person in need of deliverance. However, I couldn't shake the feeling of wanting more, knowing more about this God and being led by Him.

... Then I found a bible believing church with ‘The Amazing Choir’ and I was in, totally sold!
Long story short, one day, we had a worship program and an altar call was made for those who wanted to accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour. On that fateful February evening, the Holy Spirit was nudging me hard to get on my feet - it was my day! I knew it because I heard Him call out to me loud and clear. The overwhelming feeling was unexplainable and for the first time, I knew I was home!

Soon after, we started a series on ‘Spiritual Authority’ and there I began to learn how to love ‘the Jesus way’. I bore the pain of coldness at home, constant family meetings to discuss my ‘disobedience’, and many turned down requests because I wanted to go to ‘that church’. Whereas for me, it was finding Jesus and doing the one thing that gave me peace – worship!

Well I had to meet my family half way. Go to my family church in the morning and my new-found church straight after. 

I remember one of the many experiences I had in the earlier days, it was the day of my training exam to join the volunteer workforce of my church, I was excited because I had attended all classes and read for it. That afternoon my dad said we were going to a party and that’s final. I felt so disappointed and very sad. I called my Pastor to tell him but his response was a simple – "What are you going to do?" 
I was like what??? Is that all he had to say? Why I called?!! 
Well, I made the decision to honour my father and not go for the test. I got to church later that day where I met my Pastor and he said – you would have failed the test if you disobeyed your father and came….

I'm grateful to God that now I can look back with immense gratitude to Him. It has been a life-changing relationship with Him that I possibly couldn't fully recount, and it only gets better.

I thank God that my experience has become my story, and now, worshipping God is what I live for.

Isioma Ikediashi

************************************************************

Were you blessed by Isioma's personal experience? Would you like to also experience this wonderful encounter and relationship too? Just say this simple prayer with me - 'Jesus, thank You for dying for my sins on the cross. I appreciate and acknowledge your sacrifice. I want to invite you into my life today Lord. I believe in my heart that You are Lord and I want You to be my Lord. Please forgive me for my sins and make me brand new today in Jesus name. Thank You for a new start, I give You praise. Amen'

Wow! Congratulations, your life just became amazing! Welcome to a new life, a new relationship :-) xxxx

Ps If you prayed that prayer or want to know a bit more about all that has been said above, please send me an email at oneplustheone@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you!

Also, if you would like to share your own experience too, please send me an email.

Have a wonderful weekend people! Lots of loveeee xxxxx