1. I felt I was not ready for it
2. I felt it was bigger than me for now.
3. I felt I was going through so much in my personal life that I didn't need to add this extra pressure on.
4. (The biggest one!) I am a YOUNG, UNMARRIED FEMALE! (To be honest, I need a husband now, not an added responsibility :-).
You see usually I am not one to shirk responsibilities. Infact, on the contrary I thrive on being given tasks to do and being given a project to manage... That has been sort of the story of my life, but this time, I felt this particular duty was beyond me.
First, it's a job given mainly to men (women do excel at it but there are more men in this field). People who know me know that I am anti- any form of discrimination or sexism. I am usually very vocal about the fact that men and women should be given equal respect and I have many role models who have proven me right.
To add petrol to fire as it were, I am a relatively young lady and I felt that people would look down on me if I attempted to take up this role. I could just imagine the look of 'flabbergasity' on their faces as they whisper to one another (not too kindly) "What does she think she's doing".. Or they come to ask me "So when is the real person going to come?"..
To then add even more flammable substance than petrol to the already raging fire, I am now a single, young lady... *Ring the alarm*!!... "They would not even pay me attention", I thought...
This is also considering all the personal 'issues' that are currently running riot!
One thing I learnt (or I'm learning) is that sometimes, you may not be the best person for the job, but if God has chosen you, He equips you to do a GREAT job of it! The bible says that He uses the base (simple/foolish) things of this world to confound the wise! (1Corinthians 1:27).
As long as you have His backing, then you know that you cannot go wrong... I always remember what I learnt some years back in Sunday School ... Do not let ANYONE despise your youth (1Timothy 4:12)..
Simply put, do not allow anyone look down on you because of your age.. may I also dare add that do not let anyone look down on you because of your status, your education, your background, your sex, your abilities... You need to believe absolutely in yourself and believe that you can do ALL things - bar none!
God is not looking for a 'perfect' person, he is looking a for a 'base' thing so that He can show His glory through you.
So I ask you, what is THAT thing that you have been putting off? What is that dream that you don't even dare to dream? What is that task that you feel people would laugh at when you voice it out? Remember Joseph? His brothers laughed at him, but in the end they bowed to him. Remember Moses? He thought he was not capable enough to lead the Israelites out of bondage, in the end he became a legendary leader! Remember Obama? They said America wasn't ready, but we all know what happened! The list could go on and on...
YOU CAN DO IT!! You can be a great man/woman, you can have a great home and a loving spouse who would treat you well, you can have your own business empire, you can be the youngest millionaire in your village/family... YOU CAN DO IT! Don't let anyone tell you any different..
So.. I'm going to take this head on (In God I trust!)
I look forward to hearing your stories as well...
God bless you, lots of love xxxxx