*Carefully cleans out cobwebs* - Lol.. Honestly, this is getting old! And I do sincerely apologise
Look at that.. We had a great introduction to the new season (Thank you all for the love *kisses*, and then
Alrighty, before we dive right into today's conversation, I would have to say that so many things have been going on in blogsville! From my dearest friend Frances Okoro of Imperfectly Perfect Lives who published a brilliant e-book 'Chastity for Men'.. You have to pick up a copy, and it's FREE! (Yes, you heard that right!).. I shall be doing a proper review on here! Also, Tomi of Arike Arts got married! Congratulation hun! So grateful and glad for you.. Still on blogsville, my darling Sykik had a baby!! Whoop whooop! I am still rejoicing at the news. Please spare a minute to read her journey and testimony of this beautiful miracle HERE...
I know I have not in any way exhausted the news around blogsville, but we do have to get to today's conversation right? lol.. Let's go!
This week's question was sent in by a friend and it was something that came up in discussion so I thought to bring it here for your thoughts (It's interesting that we ended the first season with Gifts and we are starting off with gifts as well!):
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| Gifts - To Give or Not |
"Is it alright or important to give gifts to my boyfriend's / girlfriend's parents/siblings or meet certain financial or material obligations?
The reason I ask is because I don't want to seem or look desperate to them. Also, I don't want to start something I may not be able to control in the future."
- Ms B
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| We are Excited! Yes we are!! |
Isioma: Yes I'm definitely excited we're back..yayyyyy!
Nike: It's impossible to love someone without giving gifts. It's absolutely impossible to love someone in isolation. You also have to love the important people in their lives.
Nike: There's nothing wrong with giving his/her parents' Birthday or Christmas gifts. Once in a while you can buy something as little as a pack of apples. You are not in anyway obliged to assist financially but if the need arises and you are able to help, then there is nothing wrong in assisting.
One: Hmmmm.. True, I believe that as well..
Nike: There's nothing wrong with giving his/her parents' Birthday or Christmas gifts. Once in a while you can buy something as little as a pack of apples. You are not in anyway obliged to assist financially but if the need arises and you are able to help, then there is nothing wrong in assisting.
| No obligation |
One: Alright Nike, I hear you..
Isioma: About the question, it's an interesting one and I say so because I sometimes wonder why we worry about some things.
Giving is an attitude of the heart, a selfless act of love. No one can really put a cap on the measure of their giving if it is done from their heart. You will naturally be led to give. Then as Christians, we have a directive to do so anyway without reservations and bearing in mind that you will receive the measure you have given.
Isioma: About the question, it's an interesting one and I say so because I sometimes wonder why we worry about some things.
Giving is an attitude of the heart, a selfless act of love. No one can really put a cap on the measure of their giving if it is done from their heart. You will naturally be led to give. Then as Christians, we have a directive to do so anyway without reservations and bearing in mind that you will receive the measure you have given.
One: Preach 'Pastor' Isioma lol
Isioma: Lol.. However, I understand that we deal with humans and so people can misunderstand and even abuse your kindness (don't let 'em hinder you though).
In this case, I will tow Nikkysho's line and say there is nothing stopping you from giving the general gifts - Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary gifts etc. Also, I was taught that it's good practise to take a gift when you visit people. So the families of your boyfriend/girlfriend can benefit from those.
Isioma: Lol.. However, I understand that we deal with humans and so people can misunderstand and even abuse your kindness (don't let 'em hinder you though).
In this case, I will tow Nikkysho's line and say there is nothing stopping you from giving the general gifts - Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary gifts etc. Also, I was taught that it's good practise to take a gift when you visit people. So the families of your boyfriend/girlfriend can benefit from those.
Then you can't say you love a person and not give to them no matter how little. The act of giving is not a guarantee for a future, it's just an extension of your affection and I dare say that your giving can increase as your relationship deepens. You just naturally find new ways to show your affection.
One: I believe so too.. When I really like someone, I have the urge to want to give or do something for them.. Not for any particular reason, but 'just because'. Sometimes, I think your willingness to sacrifice either by giving or doing is a test of how much you love the person!
One: I believe so too.. When I really like someone, I have the urge to want to give or do something for them.. Not for any particular reason, but 'just because'. Sometimes, I think your willingness to sacrifice either by giving or doing is a test of how much you love the person!
| You can't love without sacrifice |
Isioma: As for meeting financial/material obligations, in the first place it's not your obligation as such but the bible encourages us to help our neighbours (even strangers as in the example of the good Samaritan) in their time of need as it is done unto the Lord. So I will say, do what you can to help and let it be done as a selfless act of love.
One: Indeed, key word (or words) is 'selfless act of love'.. But how about the writer's concern that you might appear 'desperate'.. Particularly as a woman. They might think you're trying to curry favour from them? I would like to know what guys think.. To do or to hold back?
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| Gifts = Love me, PLEASE love me |
Jeffrey: I must say that I totally agree with Isi and NikkySho but I would like to add a little twist to it.
Overtime, I have come to terms with the fact that politics exists in every sphere of life but given the current trend of things, politics has been viewed in the negative light; myself inclusive. However, it is important to see how it can be used positively.
The giving of gifts has away of breaking the ice or any barrier or misconception that one may have of the other and better still softening the heart of one towards another. This is very natural and I think humanity only took the cue from our Maker-God. Gifts are sign of honour, care and affection so if you care for, wish to honour or show affection to your significant other's family, please by all means do so. Even Boaz gave Ruth gifts for her mother-in-law (Naomi) prior to their marriage (Ruth 3:17) -"and she added, “He gave me these six scoops of barley and said, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.". But I must say that it is important to not let it be a form of bribe in an attempt to gain acceptance.
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| Gifts open doors |
One: I actually think it's important to try as much as possible to not go empty-handed to visit people. It's good practise to try as much as possible to take something along, no matter how small (and no matter who it is)
Jeffrey: As for assisting in meeting an obligation, I will say that there is nothing wrong with this as long as it is not a recurrent issue because it then becomes a burden without the bond of marriage to necessitate such. Such burden should only be necessary in the context of marriage, for that is part of what marriage is for.
We must admit that human beings are political but in being political, diplomacy coupled with the a godly conscience is imperative.
Jeffrey: As for assisting in meeting an obligation, I will say that there is nothing wrong with this as long as it is not a recurrent issue because it then becomes a burden without the bond of marriage to necessitate such. Such burden should only be necessary in the context of marriage, for that is part of what marriage is for.
We must admit that human beings are political but in being political, diplomacy coupled with the a godly conscience is imperative.
One: We are political? :-) I think women are the best diplomats lol.. However, it is very essential in a relationship!
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| Politics? :-D |
Ok, enough from us, what do you think? Do you think it looks desperate when you take gifts or buy things for your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents or family?
Also, how about meeting financial obligations, yay or nay?
Let's talk!
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