Dear Daddy

My dearest, loveliest, amazing Daddy (Of life!),

What can I say to you Beautiful One that I adore that would truly express who You are?

You are the Fountain of life, the Fountain of joy, the Fountain of love.. I bless the day that I met You and that I gave you my life - no other decision in my life can ever compare to the importance of that singular decision.. And You made it all possible because you first loved me.

When I did not know you, you loved me. When I rejected you, you loved me. When I did things that you did not like, you loved me still! When I strayed far away, you loved me. When I came back begging for mercy, you loved me completely, you accepted wholly and you cleansed me deeply. How could I ever repay you? How could I ever tell you how much you mean to me?

Daddy, today is a special day indeed and I smile, I giggle like your little girl that I am when I think of how far we've come and how much farther we are going! I wanna do eternity with you - Infact the thought, the idea of eternity looks fabulous with You in it! I am excited!

Thank You Lord, Thank You King, Thank You Master - truly, deeply, totally!

From my heart to yours.

Your forever girl,
One xx

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Waiting and Loving It! Feat Titi and Leke Adeboye Part II

Hiya guys! It's a double whammy this week! I didn't think we would be doing 2 slots of Waiting and Loving It this week but then our interview with the Adeboyes (you can read HERE) was not complete as the Mr had to excuse himself to attend to urgent business. However, he has kindly come-back to finish what he started (As a man of integrity right?) and I present it to you this lovely Thursday evening (in my part of the world!).. I hope you will be richly blessed and I can definitely say, there's a lot in there, especially for the fellas..... Enjoy! xxxx

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Thank you so much for coming to finish your feature! That's what's up! lol So, continuing from where you stopped, how did you meet your lovely wife?

Leke: Hmm How did we meet!

My wife already said this but I will say it again, I did not know that my mentor had a daughter or anything like that – slight selfishness on my part as I was only after his mentoring.. Well he later told me a few times that his daughter was in the University at the Redemption Camp (RUN) so I’m like "Ok, let’s check out who this daughter is" so that I won’t have to lie next time he asked “Did you see my daughter”, lol.. And then I saw her.. hmm.. you know – she wasn’t initially my type.. Maybe because I travel a lot. I have types.. I have met too many people - which can be a good thing or a bad thing.. This is because 'too many people' means that you have too many choices and it’s no longer God’s choice for you. 

You have an idea in your head, and once you fill your head with ideas of what you want, you kinda push God out so there’s no space for God in your ideas – which can be very bad! Anyways, moving on swiftly..

All I did was just collect her number.. "Let me just check up on you, I know your dad" etc. I just collected her number and walked away. Afterwards, I would send a text once in a while – "how are you doing?" "God bless you", "How was uni today?" "Any gist?, any story?" And once in a while I would share a story of work or whatever I was doing. I like jokes – so sometimes, I would share a joke with her, ask her a question,  you know, just gist and ideas - building friendship.

That's really cool. So how did you translate from friendship to knowing that this was IT? That she was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

Well, I have to say here that I had a list (lol)... Initially my parents asked me who I was interested in and if I had been praying – You know we had THAT talk and I had a list of about 10 different girls that I thought were the one(!). I told them to pick one and they were like “You are not ready” and promptly tore up the list. Mehn, I had to go and start from ground zero and obviously cancel my list (hahaha). 

I decided to ask God to give me His own list of what I should want in a woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with.. I have to tell you, it was a journey – for guys, it’s usually a journey, especially if you are about to sign off your life completely. It’s a journey – between you trusting God and hearing God and listening and being able to understand ways in which God talks to you (this is why it is important to know how God talks to you, and not just wait till when you are about to get married before you start hearing from God). 

But anyway, how did I know she was IT? Like I said in my introduction initially, there are just some certain characters in a person that works out for me which my wife clearly exhibited - She’s a perfect blend. I come from a family where confidentiality is very important. Also, there are certain things we can do and certain things we cannot do. We understand that you don’t just live holy but you have to be an example to others as well.

Furthermore, I was asking God to show me the future and not the now. Most people don’t look at the future.. To be real, my wife did not look as hot then as she does now! When I met her, I wasn’t looking at now, but at the future.. And this is what, only 4 or 5 years ago.. (Cause I had to wait for her. I had to wait for her to finish Uni. I had to wait for her to go and finish NYSC – that’s another 1 year! I had to wait for her to go and start Masters!) But that Masters own was not too bad because her father was going to pay lol. You know because once you marry somebody (which some people don’t know), their everything becomes your everything – their debt becomes your debt, their money becomes your money, their broke-ness becomes your broke-ness, including their school fees becomes your school fees.. Omo for the Masters, wisdom profiteth LOL. In everything, get understanding – so I 'understood' and I said let the girl start Masters before we marry, that way she’s still her Dad’s responsibility (Amen? Hahaha). Afterwards, I had to pay for her expenses at University as we were now married (LOL – her father and I shared the responsibility) *I digress*

But I knew she was the one.. It was just clear – at the time, God just hit me like “Hey, you’ve been looking all around in different locations when all you need is just 10mins drive from your house – right there! Don’t worry, stop flying everywhere – I have already provided her for you. Don’t fly anywhere, I will fly her to you" – just like He did it for Elijah when he was hungry (1Kings 17).. Yes I knew she was the one. And it’s easy to spend the rest of your life with somebody like that!

That's really wonderful! So, what made you make the decision to wait?

I honestly believe that for a guy it’s harder to wait! But one of the things is this – in any relationship, in any friendship, you guys should have boundaries and agreements that you 'sign' from the word go. It’s like a covenant –this relationship, we have rules at the beginning, sit down, let’s talk – if people are going out/dating/courting, if they don’t have the sit-down talk of ‘these are the dos and don’ts', and set out expectations, I'm sorry but they are just joking, they are not ready yet.. 

So I had to wait, and assure her that there would be times I would not be on the 'mountain', there would be times I would not be ‘spiritual’ and would be very carnal, and that she should please remind me that all of this (which is her) would be mine for the rest of our lives, after we finish the ‘I dos' . At that time I was about to turn 30 and if we are supposed to live an average of 70 in the world (which by God’s grace we will live longer), that means I have 40+ years left to spend with her, so why won’t I wait?

Where you tempted?

Ha temptation full ground.. like Fried rice at a rich man’s wedding.. Of course it was hard, it wasn’t that easy.. especially when you’re left in the same place, especially when your wife is extremely hot like mine, yeah it is hard! But God helped us.. but I won’t lie, it was hard.. struggle sef!

I can only imagine! So now that you have crossed that line, what would you say to your single self?

Haa to my single self? I should have not wasted all that money on the girls before! Oh my days! All the birthday parties that I have paid for in life lool. (Because you know if you really want to get a girl {advice to all single brothers out there} you have to parley with all her friends..If you are buying gifts for the girl, buy for all her friends, if the girl is doing birthday, celebrate for all her friends! lol.. If you can win over the friends, you are ok! If you can win all the 12 disciples, you have won over Jesus – all the best with Judas Iscariot though, because there’s always going to be one (hahaha).

Don’t date as many people, I know they say it’s to gain experience but at the same time, it’s a problem because it comes back to bite you. Some relationships are more difficult to break off from, there are some scars that will heal but the mark will still be there. There are some heartbreaks that you don’t need. Being dumped by certain girls was not a good look and doing so to girls is not a good look either. Just stay faithful to God.. Don’t try and listen to methods that the 'world' or popular opinion gives you in terms of how to relate with women. When Jesus said that He will send the Holy Spirit to us to teach us all things (John 14:26), He did not actually mean just spiritual things.. Me I won’t lie, it was the Holy Spirit that taught me how to toast my wife. I thought I was going to use the same old school methods that I normally used, but that did NOT work.. It took me a while to understand the way. So literally I had to learn how to toast with the help of the Holy Spirit - And that was amazing to be honest because the Holy Spirit has insider information on the girl you are toasting more than you could ever have yourself (Note though, the Holy Spirit will only help you to toast the one that He has told you that you will end up with oh!)

Holy Spirit the informant, nice one! So, could you tell us 3 great things about being married to your wife?

One of the things I prayed to God for was a non-regular Nigerian wife - like I don’t want to be eating eba, I don’t want to be eating asaro onisu gigan all the time lol. I like things that are exotic, at the same time enjoyable. I like somebody that likes to try new things because I don’t want to be stuck in my ways (generally, if you are already stuck in your ways, it’s more difficult for God to speak to you and change you and move you forward).. And my wife can cooook! My wife tries different things all the time - Italian, Chinese, Nigerian, Portuguese, Spanish Paella, name it! She buys cookbooks too to spice things up! –  (yeah) I am a very happy man!

Secondly, I desired someone that would not come into my family as a minus but as an addition and my wife has been a great addition to my family. My mum LOVES her, as in at the beginning I was jealous because they even loved her more than me! I don’t want to say anymore (I don’t want her head to 'swell' too much joh)

Thirdly, her spending habits! You see some people would think that when they collect offerings in RCCG parishes, a percentage will be deposited in my account – NO, it’s not family business lol.. So even the little finances that I have, my wife knows how to manage it. Recently, I was at an airport about to come back home – I called my wife I said “Baby, I saw this beautiful (expensive) bag, do you want it?" My wife replies me and says no, "I need a pair of oven gloves and an apron, that’s all I want".. As in, I cannot lie, I was seriously trippped, like honestly, it’s only God that can give you a wife like this!... Even me personally, if you call me to ask me that, even if I don’t want the bag, I can ask you to bring the money (haha). 

Another time, I gave her money to go on a trip and she returned the change! I wasn’t expecting that (Not that she doesn’t have her money, but I take pride in my responsibility as her husband to provide for her). You see if you have someone like that that can manage you, manage your life, somebody that is there for not just her own interest but for your own interest as well in every way.. come on, what else do you want? Somebody like that, you will literally die for the person.. 

Can I say this to all other married men or men out there that are willing to marry? I usually ask them "Are you ready?" You see, because the bible says something, "Husbands love your wives like Christ loved the church" (Ephesians 5:25) and I always ask people - What did Christ do for the church? He died for the church! If you haven’t found a babe that you know that you are willing to truly die for, then you haven’t found the right one or you have found the right one and you are not ready. Then don’t waste anybody’s time when you’re not ready..

I’ll be honest, YES I’m ready to die for this woman! I’m serious.. I’m ready to die for my wife, I’ve signed a contract.. That’s the level we are right now. I asked God for a perfect wife – the one that matched me, that meets my own needs and He gave me one, so in return, I should do what He did. #Dassal

                                

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What a great way to conclude the interview! Of course you all should know my favourite part lol.. The part where he talks about how much a man should love his wife and be willing to sacrifice for her.. I have written a post previously asking Can You Die for Your Wife? (You can click to read)

Another thing I love was the real-ness in his admission that waiting before marriage was not a 'walk in the park' - it was sure difficult, but by the grace of God and mutual agreement and accountability, they were able to do it - that's wonderful. I thank God for their experience and for the grace that He gives each and every one of us to obey Him. It doesn't matter how far we've gone, He's reaching out today to let us know that "My grace is sufficient for you" (2Corinthians 12:9) You only need to be willing... 

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
Email - oneplustheone@gmail.com
Twitter - @1plustheone
Facebook - www.facebook.com/1plustheone


Also, you can read all the Waiting and Loving It Features HERE .. xxxx

Chronicles of Sebastian ... My introduction to the Naija Style of Worship

Praaaaaise the Lord! I vividly remember the first I went to a local NIFES (Nigerian Fellowship of Evangelical Students) meeting. I was amazed that from my small university more than 100 students gathered together at 7 am to worship (most of my German fellow-students are still in bed at that time!) .

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What was even more amazing to me was the way they worshipped. After some songs, a person to my left began to laugh loudly (I think it was called holy laughter), another person to my right wept bitterly while a girl in front of me fell down after someone prayed with/ shouted at her. Others started hugging each other. It seemed everyone was praying in tongues, the whole room was full of noise and soft music. As a reserved German who is used to order, solemnity and “sequential prayer” (one prays after another), I felt a bit awkward and did not know what to do. As it turned out, I did not need too: A stranger approached me, laid hands on me and started mumbling something. Finally, the leader grabbed the microphone and ended the prayers with a loud IN DA MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS!!! which was answered with a resounding AMEN!
Well you might think what’s the big deal Sabba? What is so special about all of this? My point is that even though you might be familiar with the Nigerian way of doing church, as an outsider a lot of things will strike you, as you realize that Nigerian Christianity is vastly different from Western / German Christianity. Before I start pointing out some differences, let me just say that God loves diversity and that one form of Christianity is not necessarily better than another. Please don’t assume that I pretend to 'know it all'; I strongly believe that we can all learn from our unique strengths and weaknesses. So let’s go! :)

1.) Religion is super-important in Nigeria. In Germany, faith does not play a major role in public discourse and in the day-to-day lives of people. Most of my fellow-students don’t pray, don’t read their bibles, don’t go to church and hardly ever talk about Jesus or the Bible. In Nigeria, that was quite different. First of all, in the South-East, everyone claimed to be a Christian. Hardly anyone described himself as an atheist, some people did not even know that such people exist!
In addition, I noticed that people used a lot of 'God-talk”: “God bless you”, “We thank God”, “… by the grace of God”; … and if something bad happens they say things like “Holy Ghost fire!” or “Jeesus!”. Most public speakers thanked and blessed God before they started speaking. Also, when you walk through a city, you see a lot of cars with Christian messages (eg “Pampered by Jehovah”). On Sundays, most churches are full, whether it’s a Catholic mass, a revival service or any other church: many people still go to church. 

                              

2.) There is quite a lot of “Cultural Christianity” in Nigeria. As I pointed out, Christianity surrounds everyone in Southern Nigeria, and that causes some people to just assume they’re Christians because, well everyone is: parents, friends, neighbors. Sometimes I asked people how they came to be a Christian and quite a few people thought their Christian upbringing makes them Christian. I’ve not met that many people who changed their denomination (let’s say from Catholic to Pentecostal), which makes me wonder how much the parental background influences people and how many people actually reflect whether what they believe and practice is right or wrong.
The issue with cultural Christians is that they usually lack the intimacy with God and the supernatural power to live the Christian life. If every Christian in Nigeria actually practiced what he or she believes in, there would be FAR less corruption, jealousy, tribalism, materialism, stealing, lying, adultery etc. The fact that these things exist shows me that there is still a gap between what people believe and what people do (which is the case in many countries!). A few times, I got the opportunity to preach to some of my Nigerian brothers and sisters, and one thing I’ve noticed is that when I addressed simple and practical issues like friendship in a way that relates to their life, many people were quite astonished, because I think some Christians were not used to the thought that God has to say something about every area of life.

3.) Many Nigerian Christians are bold and firm. I so love this. In Germany most Christians try to defend themselves (“I am a Christian… but I am still nice you know??") and are very timid and overly cautious when it comes to sharing their faith and identifying themselves as Christians. Most Nigerians did not seem to care. They are proud of who they are and don’t care too much what you think of them while they’re worshipping whole-heartedly. I saw Catholics wearing wristbands stating “Proudly Catholic”, I’ve met Deeper Life guys trying to convince me they’re the real deal and I’ve been preached to in Kekes. I’ve seen NIFESians going on evangelism frequently and I’ve met Pentecostals telling me I’m not saved because I don’t speak in tongues (abi?? lol). Furthermore, people have big dreams: one mission statements I saw seemed quite ambitious: a church wants to “reach 10 billion souls”. Although I don’t agree with everything, I just love this kind of boldness! Heck, we can talk about everything, but why not make clear what we think and believe? I think many Westerners need to be inspired by this kind of confidence.

4.) Nigerian churches are less “seeker-sensitive” and personal in their nature. While many Nigerians are really bold, there is this element of vulnerability that I’ve missed. Let me explain what I mean: Many German Christians love deep and private discussions. People meet in small groups, sit in a circle and talk about their problems, their doubts and their life. Then people share prayer points and pray for each other. If they go to church, they are likely to hear a sermon on 'Being on a Journey', 'Finding your True Identity', 'Dealing with Hurt', 'Living Authentically' and sing some songs on how we can come to Jesus “as we are”. Now let me just say that, as a guy, we white people often overdo these kind of activities and get a bit too sentimental. To me it feels a bit weird to me to sing about being in Jesus’ bosom and sitting in an “understanding” small group that revolves around itself too much.
Yet, when I went to Nigeria I found out others went to the other extreme: There is so much shouting from the stage (“Open your mouth and pray!”) and people are encouraged to just go ahead and pray, without listening to other people’s prayer requests. I’ve hardly found any small group setting where people talk about their struggles in an honest and open way. I’ve realized many Nigerians were just not used to talking this way. That’s why I was so encouraged to read this blog (and the comments), because I love the way people open up and connect it to God. Maybe I’ve just been in the wrong environment, but I’ve not seen that often in Nigerian churches.

5.) The prosperity theology has unfortunately corrupted some Nigerian churches. Prosperity theology basically assumes that the primary aim of the Christian life is your personal wealth and well-being. It is a man-centered approach, since God is often only used as a tool to bless you. This kind of teaching was developed and promoted mostly in America and it has sadly spread to many Nigerian churches as well.

The problem of prosperity gospel is that it is unbalanced. Yes, God wants to bless us, but He also demands a lot of things. Jesus speaks a lot on suffering, sin, taking up your cross, self-denial, sanctification, holiness etc. Some churches, in an attempt to appeal to the audience, neglect these hard teachings. I’ve challenged some Nigerians and asked them “Are you more interested in the blessing or the blesser?”, which got a lot of people thinking. Don’t get me wrong I’ve found a lot of AMAZING churches with very balanced teaching and very devoted Christians. But I just can’t overlook the fact that sadly, this prosperity teaching has produced a lot of consumeristic, selfish and immature Christians who just want to get their next portion instead of serving their next neighbour.

6.) Many Nigerian church services are very lively and joyful. Compared to Nigerian Church services, some German church services make me feel as though I were at a funeral! (lol) I just loved the clapping (put your hands together for da Lord! :) ), the dancing (even for offerings!), the way preachers interacted with their audience (Hallelujah? Amen!), the uplifting music (I’m still listening to Nigerian chorusses!), the fact that Nigerians have their own songs (like Today-Oh) and in general the joyful atmosphere in many services. Time never really seemed to be a burden, there was always plenty room for worship and for sermons. 

7.) There is a strong focus on spiritual warfare. I don’t really know whether this is a good or a bad thing, but Nigerians seemed to emphasise the spiritual realm FAR more than we oyibos :-) I’ve seen some posters claiming 'That witch must die!' or 'This is war!' Chai! I’ve also heard a lot of talk on 'destinies', fighting curses etc.. To be honest, this stuff seemed a bit 'too much' for me, but you know what? I just don’t know what is happening and I don’t want to judge something I’m not sure of.

All in all, I am very grateful having experienced Nigerian Christianity, despite all the differences in style of worship I’ve pointed out. One major thing I’ve learned is that Christ enables us to have true fellowship with one another, beyond color, background, social status etc.. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with my Nigerian brothers worshipping the Lord and feeling this heartfelt connection of belonging to the same God was a precious experience. God has his people everywhere, and in Nigeria He directed me to some incredible Christians that taught me a a lot! Every culture has its own strengths and challenges when it comes to practicing one’s faith, but as long as we are teachable, humble, loving and accepting we can learn and grow a great deal and “make heaven” :) And surely, Goodness and mercy…

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Thank you Sabs for another honest and insightful yet witty post! It is interesting to see things from an 'outside' pair of eyes.. I found my self laughing at some descriptions and nodding knowingly at others, being able to definitely identify with them. One thing I am learning in recent times is to appreciate the beauty of diversity and to understand that God has made each one of us unique - our expressions are so different, yet like my favourite German :-) said, it's a precious thing indeed and it goes further to show the awesomeness and brilliance of God! Hope you enjoyed as much as I did :-) ... For all Chronicles of Sebastian's posts, please click HERE.. Join Sabba again next week Wednesday..I look forward to what he will be speaking about!

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Waiting and Loving It! - Feat Titi and Leke Adeboye

Wow! We got here in the end!

Featuring this beautiful couple is a story/testimony and a half! Lol... They were one of the first people I spoke to about featuring on the series about a year ago and they graciously accepted to do it... but talk about BUSY schedules! My word!

We FINALLY managed to do an interview (In-between a very busy event, but they were so kind and indulging enough to spare their time).. Then guess what?! My newly gotten phone which I used to record the interview was stolen almost immediately afterwards! I remember that apart from the loss of the phone itself, the next thought was "Oh no! The interview!! All gone!!" *sob sob*

We re-scheduled again and the next slot was months after and we had to do some James-Bond-esque style to ensure that it would go live today *phew* lol.. All in all, thank God!

And it was so worth it! I love the fact that they are such a fun, down-to-earth couple and you can just feel the love, deep friendship and mutual respect and loyalty that exists between them.

To be honest guys, it takes a lot to get couples to come and bare themselves here weekly but I am humbled by the acceptance of every single couple who has been featured on this series, despite their reservations or busy schedules - To every single Waiting and Loving It Alumni, I salute you and I say a BIG thank you.. I know that God will certainly bless you as you willingly share your stories to inspire someone else! (Please guys, if you've enjoyed reading the series, take a moment to say thank you to all our featured couples in the comment section - trust me, it's not always easy :-) xx

Right, I don't like chatting a lot on Tuesdays but you will have to forgive me today for the long intro lol..

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing, the beautiful Mr and Mrs Titilope and Leke Adeboye... Be blessed!

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Hello Mr and Mrs Adeboye, it has taken 7 mountains and 7 hills but thank God we are here now lol.. Thank you so much for agreeing to do this! It’s a delight to be able to hear your story and more importantly, share to bless people.
Could we please start off with a brief introduction?

Leke (Introducing his wifey): Introduction of Mrs Titilope Rachel Adeboye.. How do I introduce this fine hottt lady.

She is the first born of her family of 4. Raised by amazing parents! That’s one of the things that personally pulled me to feeling the girl - her wonderful character. Like, I got to know her and if your parents can trust you enough in this day and age to give you all your school fees at once and the card to their accounts for you to withdraw money as the need arises, at will – then that says a lot about you.. That says a LOT about you.. Forget that she’s my wife, for any random girl – that is still amazing! Lol

What else, she runs me! She’s my Manager, I call her my CEO.. She’s my Account Manager, she runs my entity as a personality and then she runs a number of businesses - Oasis Suya Eatery and Sharwama and she’s also the owner of Mimi’s Confectionery.

My wife is multi-skilled and multi-talented and takes every advantage to improve herself. Whatever she sets her mind on, she would do it! And she CAN do it! I'm proud of that and I basically support, support support!. She studied Mass Communication in University and got a First Class from behind a 2:1 (laughter).. I take responsibility for that, that was actually my fault! She had actually made up her mind not to go into any relationship with anyone until she finished University.... But me, I saw a good thing and jumped in mehn! So I guess I caused a bit of a distraction (I’m sorry baby!). She followed it up with a Masters in International Business at Loughborough University. She’s a mother of one (well actually 2, our baby and I, lol)..She’s amazing and has done a fantastic job of it!

And yeah, she’s HOT as in HoTTTTTT!

                          

Titi: My name is Titilope Adeboye. I am a child of the most High God. A wife and mum. I would describe myself as a very simple person really. I love to read, bake, travel and have fun with my family. Whether it be watching movies with my husband or singing *Twinkle Twinkle little star* with my daughter haha. I love doing it all. I am the CEO of Mimi’s Confectionery and I also manage my husband’s eateries.

How would I describe my husband?! Oluwagbemileke temi nikan is just a sweetheart, an incurable romantic haha.. Ma Papi. He is so fun and charming and never believes anything is impossible. He is my adviser, motivator and so much more. I just love this man and thank God for him everyday.

                           

(How does one respond to that? Lol.. Ok, going straight to next question, how did you meet?

(From this point, Titi answers as hubby has to attend to something urgently)

Titi: Well, it was in my third year in Uni. His mum always made sure I had a meal from their home on Sundays, and whenever she was around, she would ask about school and all – she is sweet like that. I wasn’t the only one she did that to though.. My parents were not in Nigeria at that time and Mummy (as I refer to her) was just trying to make sure I was Ok. 

So this particular Sunday, I went to dinner in his house, I was in a hurry because I had a test the next day. I came in through the gate and noticed that he was standing there talking to a couple of people and everyone was laughing, I just greeted everyone. That was the first time I saw him, I didn't know him then at all. 

When I was leaving the house, I heard someone running after me and I saw that it was him. He stopped me and said "Hi, I was just told you are Pastor Odesola’s daughter. I didn’t know Pastor Odesola had a grown-up daughter. He used to be my mentor".. and he just kept on talking about my dad! Then he said "I am really pleased to meet you. Can I have your number so I can check up on you" – I gave him my number and left. That was how we met really. He was just like a big brother.

                                

From Hi to 'I Do'...

Titi: Honestly, I did not think that we would end up married or anything! I just found him so funny, no dull moment at all – he just lights up the room. But I didn’t see him like that.. {Ayo you know what I mean now (lol)}. 

He was like my brother I loved him that way. Infact when he asked me to marry him, I didn’t see that coming. I was just shocked and I said NO. 

First, I had plans – I wanted to do this and that before I even considered anyone, then 'Leke'?, really?! Pastor Adeboye’s son!! All eyes on me; NO, NO!. I love my simple life, thank you very much. I didn’t even want to pray about it, just in case God said 'Yes'.. Lol.. Can you imagine that? Hahaha

Poor man, eni eleni. He asked me to at least pray about it. I later decided to pray about it, fasted.. Sought counsel from my mum and dad.

It took a bit of work to change my mindset. Then one day, he said to me. "Your life doesn’t end when you become my wife, it just continues with me in it. You can still do everything you want, and as long as we are doing the right things, acceptable to God, I don’t care what anyone thinks or says". 

It was as if I had never heard that before. I saw a man that loved and cared and would stand up for his wife anyday. I thought it was absolutely sweet.
Honestly, today I can definitely say - Leke is my perfect man – He gets me, knows me big time!

                             

The decision to wait to have sex after marriage:

Titi: We thought to ourselves, "What’s the rush for anyway?" We used to remind each other that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Also, we were determined as well. We had gone on many dates but in places where other people were, in order to minimise temptations.

Interesting... So where you tempted?

                              

Titi: Yes of course! This man that I really loved, with his sweet charming self, eyes that are just beautiful. Sometimes I just thank GOD we were not alone hehehe (that’s all I’m saying!) hahaha

Honestly, practical measures – Don’t be alone for too long, speak on the phone, text, go on dates in public places, watch that movie in the cinema instead of his or your bedroom (you know what I mean.. lol). Don’t tempt the devil to tempt you.

Amen to that! So, what would you say to young people who say waiting before marriage is 'old-school' or unachievable in this day and age?

                                    

Well I would say that it’s a wrong perspective. We sometimes let emotions run wild. Ok, let me paint a picture – If a cute mad person, male or female, as in really crazy fellow with knives and all says – "Darling I love you, I want to have sex with you", will you run or stay? I bet you will be disgusted, embarrassed and run too. That’s how we should feel about sin. We need to be different as children of God, shine the light, in obedience to God.. What made Joseph in the bible stand out was because he was different - he refused to defile himself with his Master's wife (You can read about this in Gen 39:1-23). It's not just even in the area of sexual sin alone, but also in everything else. Having that spirit of excellence like Daniel and the 3 Hebrew boys. For me, I'm thinking "If I do this, will Jesus commend my actions, thoughts or words?" (Philippians 4:8). Please, don't be pressured into doing what is wrong. 

Sometimes, it’s not an easy price to pay. But I can tell you that the benefits are immeasurable.

And for anyone waiting for that perfect partner, Jesus is never too late... Please don't sell yourself short - It is better to enjoy a lifetime of bliss than just one wedding day and the rest is hell!

Being married has its ups and downs but God has been there for us through it all.... I can testify! :-)

                               

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Once again, a huge thanks to the Adeboyes!

When a relationship is based on the foundation of God and a solid friendship, it is easier to flourish in that relationship. You can discuss and agree on crucial aspects of your relationship. I like the part where she says, you must get to a point where sin or any form of disobedience to God disgusts you.. Where it is an absolute 'No No'.. It's not easy at all, as we all know, the forbidden fruit seems the sweetest. But it can become a lifestyle for you indeed. When you cultivate a close relationship with God, you begin to become more like Him.. You like what He likes and you hate what He hates... 

That's my heart's cry today - More of You Lord.. So much more - so that my life becomes a reflection of You and not that of 'popular' opinion.. xx

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!

oneplustheone@gmail.com

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Also, you can read all the Waiting and Loving It Features HERE .. xxxx

Dear One, I feel so hurt - He friend-zoned me!

It's Monday again!! Whoopieeeeeeeee! I hope you love Mondays just like I am getting to do.. How was your weekend? Great? Great!

Mine was superrrrrr! Holy Ghost Service at Redemption Camp, Thanksgiving Service at Church, gists with my beautiful family and my sister by love-adoption lol, good news all round (engagements, relationships - you know that makes me incredibly happy right? lol).. I am grateful to my Abba Father for a great weekend!

I got an email a while back from a beautiful lady who I now consider a friend. She was writing about this dude she met after breaking off from a long-term relationship because she had made a decision based on her new relationship with God. The guy started showing some form of interest in her and things had been good between them. It seemed like it would naturally progress to something more and she was excited about that because he was a good guy and she had started to develop some form of feelings for him. One day, dude said they needed to talk (I thought only ladies did that!?). Now his conversation was to establish the fact that he thought they should define their relationship and to state that though it seemed like a relationship looked like a good thing, he felt that they should remain good friends... Hope she understands?

source

As expected, she was surprised and disappointed. She said she also felt rejected as it was totally unexpected. In her words:

".....but really why do people like to complicate issues? He was the one who initiated the 2 dates we went on, he was keenly interested (or so it seemed) and was keeping in touch and all that. I was even begnnning to feel like I was boring and needed to reach out more, and then I get this!!!! Like seriously??!!!! I dont even know how to explain how I feel right now. I feel like whatever it was, the least he could do was let me know....is that so hard? I didnt beg nor ask him to date me!!"

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My dearest sis *hug *hug*...

I can imagine how disappointed you must feel! It can get so frustrating and I'm so sorry it had to turn out this way! Especially when you felt that you were starting something that could potentially be meaningful. Even if you hadn't started developing real feelings for him, the wasted effort could be so upsetting!

Please dear, don't get defeated, discouraged or feel like it's a mark of rejection cause of what happened with the guy! The best part for me is that you actually gave yourself the opportunity to step out and let yourself think of entertaining the idea of a relationship with him. Thank God that he sent someone your way, no matter how brief it was.

Sometimes, we get to a point when almost anyone will do but God would have none of that! He would only give you His best that you deserve, as long as you don't give up on the fact that He would come through for you in Jesus name.

I remember this dude I was really getting close to and I thought yeah this looks like it! He was the one who did the initial 'pursuing' but he just kept holding back on taking it further and we just remained good friends while I was patiently waiting for the 'change' to come!. You can imagine my hurt when I heard he had started seeing someone else! I cried oh! Like, no way!

Looking back, I am grateful that I didn't end up with him because the guy I met after was better x 100 and suited me more lol.. And it made me see that God always does better for you.

We may feel that this could be the best thing or at least alright for me but God knows the man that he has moulded to suit you perfectly. You may meet many good men but there is one that is exactly good for YOU...

Don't focus on the disappointments dear, God is still working - don't ever forget that. 

                   source

There may be days when you feel especially mindful of your single state ( I know I do!) but encourage yourself that God is bringing him very soon! He wouldn't fail you.. I have heard and seen so many testimonies!! And when you allow God do His work, when He brings the one, you wouldn't even remember all these ones that didn't work out - infact you would thank God for them.

I am grateful that you shared this with me *kisses* God bless you..

I will continue to pray with you and believe God along with you for His best.

Love xxxxx

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PS, I love this song by Rascal Flatts 'God bless the broken road'... (you should listen to the words). It's the story of many people today! 

Irrespective of what it looks like right now, God is working out the best love-story for you.. Don't stop trusting, don't stop believing.. He'll come through for you xxxx

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Dear Daddy

My dearest Daddy!

My main THE main Father and Lord. Glorious God, Beautiful Saviour, Awesome King!

Right now Daddy, I echo that popular song that goes thus "What a marvellous God, what a marvellous God, He has done marvellous things for me..."

You are indeed a marvellous God and you do marvellous things... You are indeed a wonderful God and you do wonderful things!

Thank you for ALL the great things that you do Daddy.. How do I begin to count? Thank You for your unfailing love - I could never get tired of thanking you for that, it's so amazing! Thank You for making me complete in you, thank You for giving me joy through all circumstances. I understand what David said in the Psalms that in your presence there is fullness of joy and at your right hand pleasures forever more - Oh what joy it is to know YOU!

Thank you for it's April already! Just like that, the first quarter of the year is gone and April is here! I remember how it looked so far away at the beginning of the year but now you have helped us to understand that no matter how far-fetched something seems, no matter how long a promise given takes, as long as you have decreed it, it will surely come - Many many years ago, you decreed that day and night should happen and that seasons will come and go.. and Lord years and years afterwards, it still works! God, great GOD! You are the One who speaks and it must come to pass, who decrees a thing and it is established, who gives a promise and makes good on it.

You are reliable, you are dependable, you are trustworthy, you are integrity itself!

That means that when you said - "The Lord shall fight for you and you shall hold your peace", I can go to bed safe knowing that I am secure! That means that because you have said "And my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus", I know that I am sorted! That means that when you said "There shall be no barren in the land", you sure meant it! That means that when you said "None shall want her mate", you were not joking! That means that when you said that "You will cause all the enemies who come before me in one direction to flee in seven", my enemies are in trouble!

Thank You Jesus for your promises - every single one of them. Thank You because I have the assurance that you are not a man that should lie, neither are you the son of man that you should repent of your word.

Today Daddy, I am a grateful girl!
Ese Baba, Dalu so Chineke, Merci Dieu, Ise Osanobua, Diolch Deu...

Your forever girl,
One xx

PS For people reading this, hope you would be able to come for the RCCG Holy Ghost Service tonight, 7pm (GMT) at the Redemption Camp (KM46, Lagos/Ibadan Expressway).. It's going to be awesome! And it's a special one for children tagged *Great and Mighty Seeds*!
If for some reason (being that you are not in the country), and you are unable to make it, please watch live online - www.holyghostservice.tv / www.liveway.tv

Have a really really wonderful weekend people!!

Chronicles of Sebastian - How being a Celebrity is sometimes not that easy!

Have you ever desired to be famous? To be someone people talk about and listen to, someone that 'has an impact' on the world? I think we all had these 'silly dreams', right? As a kid, I dreamed to become a football star (sorry ladies of this blog, that’s how we boys are sometimes wired). After my first sad attempts I’ve realized I will never make it (lol). Later, having matured a litte, I’ve tried to become a famous journalist/writer, but again these dreams were shattered quickly. I had to accept my fate as an ordinary citizen. 

Well, let’s fast forward a few years… Virtually overnight, I became a celebrity in a place I never really thought of as a child: in Nigeria, or as most Whites unfortunately put it… in 'Africa'. 

What made me a 'celebrity' were neither my poor football skills nor my average looks (although I have to say my 'natural hair' attracted a lot of people, especially children lol), but mostly my skin color. As the only white student in the whole of my university, I got a lot of requests: Many people tried to befriend me and asked for my number, my story, my help, my money and my sisters (lol). Since even total strangers approached me to 'snap' with them, my face is probably on dozens of Nigerian phones. 

In addition to the requests, I also got a lot of lovely offers: people invited me into their homes, cooked for me, offered me their advice ("beware of people from this or that tribe”…), gave me their business cards, introduced me to their extended family (“see my brother”), invited me for burials, traditional weddings, church services etc.. One time at Shoprite, a random woman even offered me one of her (way too young) daughters…

                            

Especially in the beginning, all these offers and requests and the pressure of being stared at almost constantly were just 'too much' for me. I did not know how to respond to the daily requests, I was not sure which friendships I should deepen and how to remember the countless faces and names – Chidera, Chiamaka, Chinedu - all these Chi-names sounded so similar to my German ear…Although I got all the attention many kids and youths dream of, I felt overwhelmed. I just wanted to blend in as 'just another Nigerian', but my background was obviously too different to make that possible. 

                           

 
So what did I do? All these things drove me into prayer. I prayed for retentive memory so I could remember the names. I prayed for love and strength so I could approach each person with care and my full attention. I prayed that God will help me behave well, since I knew people watched me closely. I prayed against arrogance and for humility, so that I would be genuinely interested in my fellow-students. 

And I prayed for what I now call 'small-small guidance' (I learnt that in Nigerian English you can repeat a lot of adjectives (sharp-sharp, fast-fast etc.). Often we only pray for guidance in big things (“show me my soulmate, O Lord", “give me a job!!” etc.), but I think it is wise to be open for God’s guidance in small, day-to-day activities: to actually ask God which friends I can visit today, to ask for opportunities to bless people, to ask him what I should do with my weekend etc. All too often we just follow our “autopilot” or our intuition, instead of listening to the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. 

Being in Nigeria reminded me of my need to include God in all areas of life, because I felt helpless and I needed a lot of wisdom on how to handle all the requests (e.g. “Does this person really need my money? Many people warned me against duping…. God help me!”). And how God answered my prayers… I got to know some amazing friends I could really trust. Once a girl I hardly knew came to me and said “Sebastian, I’ve observed you over the months and it is amazing that you only found actually good friends”. God also gave me a peace-of-mind and an inner security that helped me through my day-to-day life; a sense of joy and courage that enabled me to interact freely, knowing that my Daddy is watching over me.

Now that I am back in Germany and my celebrity-time is over, I still try to follow the valuable principles I’ve learnt in Nigeria. As a white guy among millions of other Whites, I get far less attention. Nonetheless, I do need God’s help and “small-small guidance” in a myriad of situations and questions that arise on a daily basis. 

And let me tell you one last thing: don’t desire to be famous too much, abeg. Yes it can be nice at times, but it does not really fulfill you, it does not guarantee you true friendships and it can be quite stressful. Be content with how God made you, be a vessel in His hands and let Him do the rest. :)

Sebastian 

aka 'Sabba Sabba' aka 'Sabs' (Keep the names coming guys :-)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path" - Proverbs 3:5-6

I hope you enjoyed reading! Chronicles of Sebastian comes up every Wednesday. You can read Sebastian's first post HERE to find out more..

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Waiting and Loving It!! Feat Jena and 'A' Branch

Hello everyone! I am delighted to be featuring today's couple... Well, I wouldn't quite say couple as it's the wife who's doing the interview today. However, I can assure you that you would be blessed!

I 'met' Jena in an interesting way - She commented on one of the Waiting and Loving It posts and I was drawn by her comment, so I checked out her blog 'Perfectly Human' and I was even more drawn lol (It's on faith, family and fashion!).. I asked her if she wouldn't mind sharing her experience in full here on the blog and I was delighted by her positive response (Yayy!) lol.. And God is wonderful in the way that He works as her story is one that relates to the question that was asked by a reader of the blog last week and was posted HERE and HERE.. I wouldn't talk too much (as I am want to do hehe) and allow her share.. I'm sure you'll be blessed. God loves you! xxxx

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1. Hi Jena, great to have you here and thanks a lot for agreeing to share with us! Could you please tell us a little about yourself?

My name is Jena, I am a 26 year old newbie mom! I work on web marketing strategies by day and I'm a blogger over at I'm Perfectly Human, by night :) I am from Minnesota, USA where I also currently live with my husband 'A' and gorgeous 2-month old baby girl. I am still a newlywed, being married now to my husband for 1 year.

2. Fantastic! Could you tell us how you met?

My hubby and I actually were neighbors at one point when we were young! He was a few years older than me so he actually went to school with my older sister. We eventually crossed paths again after high school and the rest is history.

3. What was the initial attraction for both of you?

He had always been very attractive to me so that quickly drew me in. On our first official date, it was refreshing that he was so down to earth and I felt like I was talking to someone I had been friends with forever. It sounds cliche, but I knew there was something different about him.

4. How did you know that you wanted to marry him/her?

We dated for 4 years. We ended up moving in together. We went through ups and downs, but we stuck everything out and always pushed together. We knew there was no one else we could see ourselves with and it just worked. I had been in relationships before where I felt like it was forced. Everything with us was just so easy. We were honest with each other about everything, we communicated well, and we respected each other which helped us grow. I had always wanted to be married. He wasn't in much of a rush. 

Once I was born again to Christ in January of last year, I wanted to make all things in my life right by God. Marriage was the next step. He proposed the next month!

                 

5. Please tell us what made you make the decision to wait. 

We had been a couple for 4 years and after I decided to live for Christ, there were a few things I made a priority to change in my life. We had been intimate, we had basically been living as a married couple for a few years. I did not want to dishonor God any longer and so as hard as it was, I talked to him about being celibate until our wedding day. It was a tough pill to swallow because he felt that I was taking something away from him. We also struggled in how we showed affection to each other because we were so used to doing things a different way. 

We fell into temptation a few times, and I cried and prayed to God to forgive me and help me be strong during this time. God led me to write my beau a letter with my feelings on why waiting was so important to me and what it truly meant to be able to share that with him once we were wed. We talked after he read the letter and it was as if we were talking about it for the first time. He truly understood my deepest feelings, my love for Christ, and that I still loved him but had to put my relationship with Christ as top priority. It became less of a struggle when we were on the same page. We got married last year and it has been amazing knowing that I am in order with my Lord and Savior. My Father above!

6. Thank God for His grace. I'm sure a lot of people would want to know the next question - How did you come to have a relationship with Jesus?

My father is a pastor, so needless to say I grew up in and around the church. However, I never really knew Jesus until about a year ago. Growing up I had seen so much "religious" doctrines through the church and it seemed that many people that were born again were not full of life. I thought, "Why would I want to be like that?" I went the complete opposite direction - finding pleasure in the world and everything it had to offer. I vowed that when I gave my life to Christ I was going to be serious about Him and I wanted to know Him. 

Well, January of last year my entire life changed. I had been feeling lost, stuck in a routine of life and I began to stop caring about things because I felt nothing would ever change. I had a divine visitation with God one night. It was an eye opening experience. I felt His words when He spoke to me. I remember Him telling me to follow Him because He is the creator of ALL, and not to look to man. That the way people live life in this world, is NOT what life is. I remember that ringing in me. This wasn't life at all. I decided that night to follow Christ, I called my father and he had me give my life to Him right there in my bedroom. It has been the most rewarding and life changing experience I have ever had. My life has been abundantly beautiful ever since AND Jesus has been everything He said He would be for me.

7. Thank you Jena. What advice would you give your single self now that you've crossed the marriage line?

There are a few things I would tell my single self now that I'm married. Hindsight is always 20/20 right? ;) First off, I would tell her not to worry about the men that don't seem to worry about her - don't waste her tears. I would tell her that when she finds someone it will not be forced. I would tell her not to live with a man before you are married. There's something true about the old saying: "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" Some men don't see the benefit in marrying you when you are already playing house. Not saying this is all men at all! But, I mean what will change once he gives you the ring? You already cook for him, clean for him, take care of him and most cases are intimate with him - you haven't required anything more from him at this point so why now? In someways it drives your value down.

Most importantly, I would explain to her that God's way of doing things is there for a reason. It is there to protect your heart. It is there to help you have confidence in your value as a woman. It is there to give you a good foundation for an enriching marriage. I really wish I would have protected my heart more when I was younger and I wish I knew that I was the prize to be won. When you treat yourself as such, those that are interested must also treat you that way. In the end it worked out for me, but that is just because Jesus took care of me. It was a dead end road I was heading to until I did things His way. Follow Him, He will always lead you the right way.


8. The best part of being married in 3 words - 
Peace.
Confidence.

Joy.

                                 

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Once again, thank you very much Jena for sharing your experience with us. 

I had a warm feeling reading her story because I was reminded of the depth of God's love for us all irrespective of how far we have gone. God hates any form of disobedience to His word but He loves us and extends His mercy to a repentant and willing heart. Also, not only does He want obedience from us, He gives us the grace to do so - how wonderful!

It's not too late to make that decision - first, in your relationship with God and consequently in other areas of your life.... God loves you sooo much! xxxx

"'Come now, and let us reason together', says the Lord, 'Though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land" - Isaiah 1:18 - 19

"... but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it" - 

1 Corinthians 10:13b

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Dear One - How do I help him understand my new faith and stance? 2 {RESPONSE}

Hello everyone.. Thanks to the lovely ladies who responded to the previous post Sayedero, Relentless Builder, Rai, Glowing Scenes and of course those who saw me in 'camera' lol (you know yourself, I appreciate you tres much!).. God bless you and may He respond to your every need in Jesus name! *kisses*

So, as promised, please see the response to the question asked HERE, in addition to all the comments given.... Most of all, I pray for God's grace and wisdom for her to do the right thing.

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Hello dear,

After reading your email, I took some time out to pray for you and your fiance and also for grace and wisdom as to how to manage this situation in a way that pleases God.

You have made one of the best decisions anyone could ever make - re-dedicating your life to God. Your relationship with God is the most important aspect of your life because that determines life here and life after here. And please always remember that God loves you soo much and He wants the best for you. He wants you to have life and to have it in abundance. He wants you to prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers. He wants you to have the very best that life has for you and afterwards, heaven.

I know that you must love your fiance and would want to be at peace with him as much as possible and I pray that God will make a way for you in Jesus name.

First of all, when you and your partner are not in agreement over an issue, it is difficult to work at it or succeed at it. Also, it may be more difficult for your fiance to understand this new you seeing as it was alright previously and he is not quite there yet himself.

I believe this is where communication matters a lot - I would encourage you to please take time out to explain your new relationship with God. Present it to him in the most loving of ways and explain to him how it would ultimately make your relationship with him better. Don't hide your faith from him, share it with him.

Let him understand that you are not condemning him nor trying to be wicked to him by depriving him of sex but you are doing it out of respect to God and then to him as well.
Please, when you make a new decision in your relationship, it is always important to be open about it and communicate it with your partner. He may not understandt the action but at least you will give him the opportunity to understand the reason behind it and not give room for false thoughts (he could think you are doing it to manipulate him, to have a sense of power, or because your love for him has waned etc - and I know that's not the message you are trying to pas on to him dear)..

When you have discussed with him, you need to help him too.. Understand what could turn him on or make the wait difficult for him and try to avoid it as much as possible - you know him, you possibly know what could be his undoing, don't give room for temptation. For instance, some men are very visual so if your dressing would make him 'stumble', tone it down for now, when you get married you can pump it right up! Reduce physical contact with him as much as possible.. Long hugs can lead to unplanned activities (lol).. Now, may not be a great idea to stay over at his house, if possible, make alternative sleeping arrangements until you get married. As you are helping him, you are helping yourself too because I'm sure you must be physically attracted to him as well. Look for alternatives to make your relationship interesting - go on dates in public places - use the opportunity to talk.. Discover new things about each other etc..

Furthermore, be purposeful about your relationship - Thank God you are engaged, focus on your wedding day. You have a set time-limit that you are working towards. It's like fasting - whatever happens, you know come 6pm you are breaking that fast and eating!

Finally and most importantly, you need the grace of God! The bible says that the hearts of Kings are in the hands of God. The heart of your fiance is in the hands of God, God can turn it however which way He desires. Never under-estimate the power of prayer! Pray to God for an unusual understanding from him. Pray that God will give both of you the grace to please Him in your relationship. Pray that God will help your fiance during this period to have self-control and to be patient - God can do it.
I will also be praying along with you dear.

My dear sis, please remember that our Christian walk is a personal one. The bible says that we must walk out our own salvation with fear and trembling. At the end of the day, when we come before God on the day of judgement, we will each stand alone - no husband, no wife, no mother, no father. It's therefore up to you to determinedly protect your relationship with God, and sometimes, you have to count the cost of obeying God. However, I can assure you by God's grace that the cost of following Jesus is never too high compared to the benefits.

My prayer for you is that God will give you the grace to fulfill His purpose in your life. That God will make your life an example to many in Jesus name. May He use you to glorify His name in Jesus mighty name. May your marriage and home be blessed in Jesus name. You are blessed and highly favoured sis.

Lots of love,
Ayo xx

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PS, you shouldn't miss tomorrow's Waiting and Loving It!! It sheds more light on the topic above xxxx

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