Waiting and Loving It! Feat Titi and Leke Adeboye Part II

Hiya guys! It's a double whammy this week! I didn't think we would be doing 2 slots of Waiting and Loving It this week but then our interview with the Adeboyes (you can read HERE) was not complete as the Mr had to excuse himself to attend to urgent business. However, he has kindly come-back to finish what he started (As a man of integrity right?) and I present it to you this lovely Thursday evening (in my part of the world!).. I hope you will be richly blessed and I can definitely say, there's a lot in there, especially for the fellas..... Enjoy! xxxx

*********************************************

Thank you so much for coming to finish your feature! That's what's up! lol So, continuing from where you stopped, how did you meet your lovely wife?

Leke: Hmm How did we meet!

My wife already said this but I will say it again, I did not know that my mentor had a daughter or anything like that – slight selfishness on my part as I was only after his mentoring.. Well he later told me a few times that his daughter was in the University at the Redemption Camp (RUN) so I’m like "Ok, let’s check out who this daughter is" so that I won’t have to lie next time he asked “Did you see my daughter”, lol.. And then I saw her.. hmm.. you know – she wasn’t initially my type.. Maybe because I travel a lot. I have types.. I have met too many people - which can be a good thing or a bad thing.. This is because 'too many people' means that you have too many choices and it’s no longer God’s choice for you. 

You have an idea in your head, and once you fill your head with ideas of what you want, you kinda push God out so there’s no space for God in your ideas – which can be very bad! Anyways, moving on swiftly..

All I did was just collect her number.. "Let me just check up on you, I know your dad" etc. I just collected her number and walked away. Afterwards, I would send a text once in a while – "how are you doing?" "God bless you", "How was uni today?" "Any gist?, any story?" And once in a while I would share a story of work or whatever I was doing. I like jokes – so sometimes, I would share a joke with her, ask her a question,  you know, just gist and ideas - building friendship.

That's really cool. So how did you translate from friendship to knowing that this was IT? That she was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

Well, I have to say here that I had a list (lol)... Initially my parents asked me who I was interested in and if I had been praying – You know we had THAT talk and I had a list of about 10 different girls that I thought were the one(!). I told them to pick one and they were like “You are not ready” and promptly tore up the list. Mehn, I had to go and start from ground zero and obviously cancel my list (hahaha). 

I decided to ask God to give me His own list of what I should want in a woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with.. I have to tell you, it was a journey – for guys, it’s usually a journey, especially if you are about to sign off your life completely. It’s a journey – between you trusting God and hearing God and listening and being able to understand ways in which God talks to you (this is why it is important to know how God talks to you, and not just wait till when you are about to get married before you start hearing from God). 

But anyway, how did I know she was IT? Like I said in my introduction initially, there are just some certain characters in a person that works out for me which my wife clearly exhibited - She’s a perfect blend. I come from a family where confidentiality is very important. Also, there are certain things we can do and certain things we cannot do. We understand that you don’t just live holy but you have to be an example to others as well.

Furthermore, I was asking God to show me the future and not the now. Most people don’t look at the future.. To be real, my wife did not look as hot then as she does now! When I met her, I wasn’t looking at now, but at the future.. And this is what, only 4 or 5 years ago.. (Cause I had to wait for her. I had to wait for her to finish Uni. I had to wait for her to go and finish NYSC – that’s another 1 year! I had to wait for her to go and start Masters!) But that Masters own was not too bad because her father was going to pay lol. You know because once you marry somebody (which some people don’t know), their everything becomes your everything – their debt becomes your debt, their money becomes your money, their broke-ness becomes your broke-ness, including their school fees becomes your school fees.. Omo for the Masters, wisdom profiteth LOL. In everything, get understanding – so I 'understood' and I said let the girl start Masters before we marry, that way she’s still her Dad’s responsibility (Amen? Hahaha). Afterwards, I had to pay for her expenses at University as we were now married (LOL – her father and I shared the responsibility) *I digress*

But I knew she was the one.. It was just clear – at the time, God just hit me like “Hey, you’ve been looking all around in different locations when all you need is just 10mins drive from your house – right there! Don’t worry, stop flying everywhere – I have already provided her for you. Don’t fly anywhere, I will fly her to you" – just like He did it for Elijah when he was hungry (1Kings 17).. Yes I knew she was the one. And it’s easy to spend the rest of your life with somebody like that!

That's really wonderful! So, what made you make the decision to wait?

I honestly believe that for a guy it’s harder to wait! But one of the things is this – in any relationship, in any friendship, you guys should have boundaries and agreements that you 'sign' from the word go. It’s like a covenant –this relationship, we have rules at the beginning, sit down, let’s talk – if people are going out/dating/courting, if they don’t have the sit-down talk of ‘these are the dos and don’ts', and set out expectations, I'm sorry but they are just joking, they are not ready yet.. 

So I had to wait, and assure her that there would be times I would not be on the 'mountain', there would be times I would not be ‘spiritual’ and would be very carnal, and that she should please remind me that all of this (which is her) would be mine for the rest of our lives, after we finish the ‘I dos' . At that time I was about to turn 30 and if we are supposed to live an average of 70 in the world (which by God’s grace we will live longer), that means I have 40+ years left to spend with her, so why won’t I wait?

Where you tempted?

Ha temptation full ground.. like Fried rice at a rich man’s wedding.. Of course it was hard, it wasn’t that easy.. especially when you’re left in the same place, especially when your wife is extremely hot like mine, yeah it is hard! But God helped us.. but I won’t lie, it was hard.. struggle sef!

I can only imagine! So now that you have crossed that line, what would you say to your single self?

Haa to my single self? I should have not wasted all that money on the girls before! Oh my days! All the birthday parties that I have paid for in life lool. (Because you know if you really want to get a girl {advice to all single brothers out there} you have to parley with all her friends..If you are buying gifts for the girl, buy for all her friends, if the girl is doing birthday, celebrate for all her friends! lol.. If you can win over the friends, you are ok! If you can win all the 12 disciples, you have won over Jesus – all the best with Judas Iscariot though, because there’s always going to be one (hahaha).

Don’t date as many people, I know they say it’s to gain experience but at the same time, it’s a problem because it comes back to bite you. Some relationships are more difficult to break off from, there are some scars that will heal but the mark will still be there. There are some heartbreaks that you don’t need. Being dumped by certain girls was not a good look and doing so to girls is not a good look either. Just stay faithful to God.. Don’t try and listen to methods that the 'world' or popular opinion gives you in terms of how to relate with women. When Jesus said that He will send the Holy Spirit to us to teach us all things (John 14:26), He did not actually mean just spiritual things.. Me I won’t lie, it was the Holy Spirit that taught me how to toast my wife. I thought I was going to use the same old school methods that I normally used, but that did NOT work.. It took me a while to understand the way. So literally I had to learn how to toast with the help of the Holy Spirit - And that was amazing to be honest because the Holy Spirit has insider information on the girl you are toasting more than you could ever have yourself (Note though, the Holy Spirit will only help you to toast the one that He has told you that you will end up with oh!)

Holy Spirit the informant, nice one! So, could you tell us 3 great things about being married to your wife?

One of the things I prayed to God for was a non-regular Nigerian wife - like I don’t want to be eating eba, I don’t want to be eating asaro onisu gigan all the time lol. I like things that are exotic, at the same time enjoyable. I like somebody that likes to try new things because I don’t want to be stuck in my ways (generally, if you are already stuck in your ways, it’s more difficult for God to speak to you and change you and move you forward).. And my wife can cooook! My wife tries different things all the time - Italian, Chinese, Nigerian, Portuguese, Spanish Paella, name it! She buys cookbooks too to spice things up! –  (yeah) I am a very happy man!

Secondly, I desired someone that would not come into my family as a minus but as an addition and my wife has been a great addition to my family. My mum LOVES her, as in at the beginning I was jealous because they even loved her more than me! I don’t want to say anymore (I don’t want her head to 'swell' too much joh)

Thirdly, her spending habits! You see some people would think that when they collect offerings in RCCG parishes, a percentage will be deposited in my account – NO, it’s not family business lol.. So even the little finances that I have, my wife knows how to manage it. Recently, I was at an airport about to come back home – I called my wife I said “Baby, I saw this beautiful (expensive) bag, do you want it?" My wife replies me and says no, "I need a pair of oven gloves and an apron, that’s all I want".. As in, I cannot lie, I was seriously trippped, like honestly, it’s only God that can give you a wife like this!... Even me personally, if you call me to ask me that, even if I don’t want the bag, I can ask you to bring the money (haha). 

Another time, I gave her money to go on a trip and she returned the change! I wasn’t expecting that (Not that she doesn’t have her money, but I take pride in my responsibility as her husband to provide for her). You see if you have someone like that that can manage you, manage your life, somebody that is there for not just her own interest but for your own interest as well in every way.. come on, what else do you want? Somebody like that, you will literally die for the person.. 

Can I say this to all other married men or men out there that are willing to marry? I usually ask them "Are you ready?" You see, because the bible says something, "Husbands love your wives like Christ loved the church" (Ephesians 5:25) and I always ask people - What did Christ do for the church? He died for the church! If you haven’t found a babe that you know that you are willing to truly die for, then you haven’t found the right one or you have found the right one and you are not ready. Then don’t waste anybody’s time when you’re not ready..

I’ll be honest, YES I’m ready to die for this woman! I’m serious.. I’m ready to die for my wife, I’ve signed a contract.. That’s the level we are right now. I asked God for a perfect wife – the one that matched me, that meets my own needs and He gave me one, so in return, I should do what He did. #Dassal

                                

************************************************

What a great way to conclude the interview! Of course you all should know my favourite part lol.. The part where he talks about how much a man should love his wife and be willing to sacrifice for her.. I have written a post previously asking Can You Die for Your Wife? (You can click to read)

Another thing I love was the real-ness in his admission that waiting before marriage was not a 'walk in the park' - it was sure difficult, but by the grace of God and mutual agreement and accountability, they were able to do it - that's wonderful. I thank God for their experience and for the grace that He gives each and every one of us to obey Him. It doesn't matter how far we've gone, He's reaching out today to let us know that "My grace is sufficient for you" (2Corinthians 12:9) You only need to be willing... 

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
Email - oneplustheone@gmail.com
Twitter - @1plustheone
Facebook - www.facebook.com/1plustheone


Also, you can read all the Waiting and Loving It Features HERE .. xxxx