Conversations with One: How to Woo a Lady 101

Hello beautiful people, it's Thursday and we don't want the curtains to fall on the day without our weekly conversation!

A little introduction for first-timers:

Conversations with One is a chat-series on the blog.

Each week, the 1 + TheOne panel (made up of beloved and very wise friends with a variety of personalities) and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. We talk about any and every thing!!

Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

You can have a look at the last conversation where we discussed money issues in relationships. You can read it and other previous episodes HERE.

Now that we've gotten that, it's time for today's 'juicy' topic..

Word on the street is that our spirikoko brothers just don't know how to 'toast' a lady beyond "The Lord said..."

Why don't men make much of an effort anymore when they are wooing a lady?? I was having this discussion with 2 of my friends and we were like sadly some men have become lazy when trying to 'woo' a lady. What happened to the old days when a guy would send flowers, do nice gestures etc. Now, they want the prize without the work... Am I right or wrong?

Anyways, we want to help some brothers out {plus Valentine's Day is just round the corner #JustSaying :-)}

So today we discuss:

"How to Woo a Lady 101"

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Picnic anyone?

Mr Motivation: I believe wooing is relative and can only be effective based on the preferences of the woo-ee....lol. So how to woo a lady will depend on several things such as the woo-ee's love language, background, sentiments etc. So in order to do this, the woo-er must spend quality time in extracting these vital information. That being said, these basics can be applied and could prove effective at the early stages; things like, phone calls, Sweet early morning and late night texts, Hanging out at her favourite places and doing things that will make her friends envy her. Eg Opening the door for her, getting her simple treats for no official reason.
But I must say that in doing these, one must note the fact that at the heart of mastery lies consistency, so what you cannot continue with, DO NOT START.

One: Mr M! Thanks a lot! Great practical tips and I love the disclaimer at the end, lol. Consistency is really important! 'Start as you mean to go on'.

Something to always remember

Nubian Princess: Hmmmm.... Some of my guy friends in the office said they work from morning till very late at night, that they really can't be running all over looking for surprise. One of them said "she knows I love her, and I'm about to marry her, but all these romantic surprise things are done by men who don't have serious jobs" *Swoon* Another one said that the romantic things are done by men who want to waste time, that a serious man declares his intentions and wraps things up quickly... *Faint* Looool!

In my case, when Le Boo and I started dating, he said he's not into the whole surprise thing... In his words, "Babe, if you want me to get you something, please just tell me" and I was like "waaaattt????" Then we had a long 'discussion'... Loool! He's learning and he surprises me occasionally which is really sweet, but it's a skill he's acquiring because it's somewhat important to me, but it's not innate to him...

Conclusion in my opinion? People are different ooh... What Bisi will enjoy, you might not be lucky enough to enjoy in your own relationship so define what's really important to you, don't compare Bode to Tunde and have open communication lines... "Guy, you're not putting in any effort, how far?!" :D

One: I like how communication in relationships always has a way of slipping into our conversations - it's sooo important.. I wonder though, how about when you don't have the opportunity or you do not have the rapport yet with the person?

Mr John Nash: Interesting read Nubian... In my opinion I think one great way to woo a woman is to give her what she NEEDS when she is not EXPECTING it. Really important.

It could be a gift or your time and attention...

Another way which is something that works for me is to be a PROBLEM SOLVER. For instance, she's looking for a job, you help her through the recruitment process. She's studying for an exam you give her tips. Providing advice that leads to her goals.

Finally, WORDS! Saying the right things at the right time. Short text messages with meaning and purpose. Not the regular "you are beautiful" messages. Something deeper...

However you really need to understand who the girl is. Some girls love gifts, some love time, some love words, some love all of the above :-)

We thank God for elections falling on Valentine's Day in Nigeria this year. We should all spend time to pray for the country :-) :-) :-)

A considerate man who lends a helping hand gets the attention of many women - young or old

Nubian Princess: Looool @ Nash....
Please, we can pray for Nigeria over a candle-lit dinner somewhere...

Elections shall not be an excuse... :D :D :D

Miss Me: Loooll!Yup I totally agree, a candle-lit dinner will make prayers more efficient! :)

One: Hahaha.. Nice one Nash -Take out time to study the girl/lady in question + she must have friends, find out from them overtly or covertly what she likes and the kind of things that would make an impression on her... Get to work :-)

Miss Me: Right, you should do whatever you know your lady likes!! This also shows you're listening. If she likes flowers, please do get her them whether you think it's a waste of money or not. I think it's selfish to get only what you think is worth getting regardless of whether she likes it or not! If you're unsure, find out from people close to her. But then there are the old classics - surprise dinner, surprise gift for no particular occasion, random thoughtful texts like Nash has said! Usually you will know what a girl likes. We're usually upfront with it!

If she likes flowers, please get them whether you think it's a waste of money or not.. :-D

One: Are we really upfront? Ok maybe we are.. I think I am.. Lol...

Mr Agbalagbaski: Wooooooo... I agree different approaches matter and communication will help open it up.

Do you remember the days of ssiiiiiiii... Or loud kissing of lips to get her attention to invite her under the orange tree or 'Yemi my lover' paroles. lol

One: Smh-ing for you.. We know not of such things my friend! Lool (If you haven't seen the movie 'Yemi My Lover', you have missed a real treat! Haha

Mr Agbalagbaski: Lol.. Best way to woo:
Be her friend,
Listen to her

Then do it without her asking.
Make sure her friends are there when you do those things (extra points)

Chikenna!!

One: Interesting, I likey, I think being a good listener is a great way to earn points!

.... Ok, over to you lovely people. we haven't spoken a lot because I know that this is a topic that many men and ladies would have something to speak about.

Ladies, have you had any experiences you'd like to share? Please do! Guys, we want to hear from you too, what are simple but meaningful ways to woo a lady or get her attention or court her or 'ask her out'? Let's hear you! xx

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***NEWS FLASH***

Guess what??!! Nominations have opened for the Nigerian Blog Awards!

Please, be kind,  nominate 1 + The One blog HERE in the following categories:

No 7. Best Faith-based Blog

No 12: Best Inspiration, motivation or personal development Blog

No 12: Best Relationship Blog

Thank you beautiful people!! xx