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Thursday, 5 December 2013

Aku'm - that must be a heavenly term right?

I'm sorry I have to ask that question for all my Ibo-speaking friends but I'll sure appreciate it if you could tell me the meaning of the term.

You see, that term has been made very popular by a wonderful, delightful, bubbly, friendly, encouraging, unique human being I had the GOOD pleasure of meeting in the course of this blog-journey.

                                                

When I think of people like her, I thank God for the priceless opportunity of being a member of the blog-community.

I remember the first time I reallly started to take a keen interest in getting to know this woman of God well, when she wrote a post on her blog with the very dramatic title "Just In Case I Stopped Blogging" HERE (That threat-title was enough to throw her fans into a mini state of frenzy lol) where she dedicated a post to acknowledging and publicly affirming other people's blogs that she read. I got introduced to so many other amazing bloggers through that post and I am very grateful for that. However, what struck me the most was how this bundle of joy with a good excellent name celebrated other people!
                                                                                                   
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When I explored her other posts further, I discovered that it wasn't a 'one-off'.. She did it regularly, and with such gusto too! Here I found a beautiful woman who knew how to celebrate others without holding back or feeling threatened that she was sharing attention or blog-readers with them! I love the way she always has something lovely to say about her friends, her CHURCH and PASTORS (Biko who doesn't know this babe's PK, PM, Rev and his wife and DCC??!).. Who doesn't know Booski and Sapphire? lol..
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I have soooo many things to write about this lady with a beautiful heart, but the main purpose of this post is to celebrate this virtuous woman who finally got married to her 'Aku'm' on Saturday the 30th of November as detailed HERE..
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Now let me tell you my fascination with the word Aku'm.. The way this woman describes/talks about/is excited about her Aku'm.. hmmm I think the meaning must be heavenly as in odikwa very serious! There is no doubt at all that there's passion and a lot of love there. And she is quick to remind all that her Aku'm is God-sent and deserving of all the praise..

                                                          

I dare say that Aku'm is indeed a blessed and highly favoured man to have been blessed with such a woman! A W.O.M.A.N!

Mrs Eziaha Olojo aka E aka E-licious of www.eziaha.com!! I pray that God will continue to keep you and your Aku'm and that your love will grow day by day. I pray that as the bible says, two is better than one therefore you have entered into a season of 'better' and BEST things in Jesus name. May you enjoy marriage, may God be gracious to you and your home and may you always be a living testimony of the mighty power and faithfulness of God..

E, you ROCK! Thanks for being a super encourager! 

                    

Happy married life and here's your Team V alumni badge hehehe

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PS E's Aku'm has promised her a gift if she hits 100 comments on a post on her blog! (An encourager married to an encourager... God is good ey?).. So please help get E that special gift by commenting HERE and HERE! - 2 for the price of 1 lol.. She's almost there as there are over 95comments on the first one already.. YayyY!

PS, E, this post is probably one of the longest I've written with the most amount of pictures as well!! What can I say.. It had to have your style stamp :-D)

Monday, 2 December 2013

Still waiting...

Have you ever wondered - "Lord, why is it taking so long??". Well, I know what that feels like.

My friend came to visit me today. She just got married and she also made the statement above many times before marriage. I saw it, I heard it and I joined her praying fervently for the manisfestation of God's promise.

When God showed up, He showed up BIG!

We shared today as usual and it encouraged me even more.. God never fails.. No matter how long it takes, He always delivers at the right time. And when He does, you forget what it felt like to ask the question above..

Don't despair, God is still working xxxx

PS, Patience Lord, I pray for patience for your best xx

Monday, 18 November 2013

How do I know for sure if I don't sample?!

Hiya!

So, last week, I wrote a post that I had been meaning to write on being proud to be a member of Team V! You can read it HERE

Now, I'm writing this post in response to one of the comments that was posted from a dear reader. Now, this comment did not come as a surprise as usually whenever this topic comes up, it is one of the most popular concerns/fears/questions about not 'testing the goods before buying' or as in this case, not sampling the dude or dudette before agreeing to spend the rest of forever (well at least while you breath) with this one person..

When I initially read the comment on my phone, I was like YES.. Let the discussions roll in, let's talk about it, let's get answers to questions we want to ask but don't quite feel comfortable asking before they think one is 'corrupt' (haha, who remembers when that used to be the worst insult everr?).. I was very grateful to my darling InThe for sharing her link HERE to help the person connect with the truth (God bless you InThe *kisses*).. I recommend you take a few minutes to read it too.. It talks about what sex is not.. very enlightening, especially for those in doubt..

Now, I remember saying once that marriage is one of the greatest acts of faith EVER! Imagine willfully committing your life, your plans, your future to someone else and saying that from now till forever on earth, you are the one that I want to wake up to each and every single morning, you are the one that I want to share the bringing forth of my future generation with, from now on, you share my history - you will ALWAYS be a part of my history. I choose you to walk with you as my partner on this journey called life, it is you that will have full access to my body and it is only you that I will 'romonce' for the rest of my life.. No scoping other guys/girls, even if I see a better looking/richer/more focused/more intelligent/more caring/more spiritual individual (because trust me, there will always better).... Now that could be a scary thought! Like really?! Forever? Forever and ever? No return policy? lol

And you go through this with very limited information... Limited, limited.. Because usually, even when you think I just KNOW this person Bam! they go ahead and reveal more unknowns (good and bad) after you say 'I do'.. You never fully know a human being.. Only God knows the make-up and capabilities of the indiviual HE created.. You see why you need Him?

Sex is an aspect of faith in marriage that being a virgin enables you to have.. How would I know that we will be sexually compatible? Am I sure that he/she can satisfy me? What if we don't know what to do? What if...?


"But without faith it is impossible to please God".. (Heb 11:6a)

Rephrasing - "When you have faith, you please God".. When you say "Lord, I know I cannot see it or I do not know it for certain, but I trust that you got me covered".. "Lord, you know me, I like to meddle, to be sure before I go into any venture, talk more of such a HUGE commitment, however, I will obey you because I know that You will sort me out" - You please God. That takes GREAT faith..

So ladies and gentlemen, on this issue, you have two choices - you can decide to take matters into your own hands and test the goods to be sure and live with the choice you make with your very limited ability or you can choose to say okay Lord, my wisdom doffs it's hat to yours, over to you, I trust You.... And please Daddy, make it super-liciously GREAT! *wink*


You KNOW God always delivers.. and as you like it - Big, small, medium, super, super strength.. He did say "Ask and you will receive" (Matthew 7:7)

He sure does!


Friday, 8 November 2013

Team V for the win!

This post is loonngggggg due! And it was re-inspired/'re-gingered' by this POST written by one of my blog favourites Inthemidstofher.com!

She was responding to a question about sex before marriage and something she mentioned struck me and reminded me of a 'project' I'd wanted to undertake for a while..

For many friends of this blog, you would know that I am proudly and unashamedly Team V! Don't know what Team V stands for? Well it's a term that I got introduced to by InThe in one of her comments on a post I wrote previously..

Team V simply means Team Virgin aka Team Virgin 'r' Us, aka Team no sex before marriage by God's grace aka Team saving it till he puts a ring on it aka Team staying celibate to honour God's word aka Team only by grace can I ever achieve it!

Now, I don't write smugly - not at all (who born?).. I don't write because I feel I have superior will-power that has enabled me to abstain throughout the years! I write cause I want to stand to be counted as one who says - it's by no means easy, but very possible (for both men and women!) by God's GRACE.. Is it easy you ask? Capital NO.. Infact, I dare say it's easier to give in to the whole hype of 'Sex - Everyone is doing it,Pick a Partner today' than to say:

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Everyday sex is thrust in my face through different means and channels.. Both overtly and through innuendos.. People are too happy to share their latest sexual escapades and new adventurous styles.. I sit and listen like a 'foolish' virgin to the 'wsidom' spewed by experienced friends at some bridal showers, reunions etc and I have to admit that it's usually 'safe' to siddon and look rather than tell them the beauty I have experienced in waiting..

Now, when I say beauty, don't get me wrong.. It can be toughhh! I talk to a guy who I totally fancy and I know how my body reacts! (Girls are moved by words afterall).. I read a book or watch a movie and all they have to do is kiss and I know that I'm like "Father can you hear me??!" But has it been worth it? YUP..

It gives me more pleasure to know that I am not compromising my precious relationship with God.. I can do a LOT for it including saying no to pre-marital sex.. It has helped me get over break-ups easier because I know that I haven't left a part of me with him or him with me.. I leave without a 'keepsake'. Then of course, let's not forget the plethora of STDs that I avoid .. And it goes on and on! (I will share in subsequent posts)..

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Anyways, the whole koko of the post is that the silence of people who have chosen to wait can be deafening.. It almost seems like we see it as a 'burden' rather than a gift.. To be quite frank, if we were meant to be shining the light or salting the earth, we are not trying much.. It seems that the candle of pre-marital sex is outshining the bright lamp of (glorious) sex in the context of marriage..

I will be doing more posts on this and hopefully showing how wonderfully possible and incredibly beautiful saying no to sex before marriage is!

So wanna join Team V?? Excellente! It's not too late xxxx

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Monday, 4 November 2013

I just called to say.. Thank you!

I know a single-mother family who are experiencing a difficult time at the moment. I sent some things to them as a show of love and I had even forgotten about it when I got a phone call from the mum. Initially I thought she was calling to acknowledge the items but she called to say that oh when her daughter is coming home, I should send some money through her.. Now, I am quite close to her so this request was not out of place, however I still felt a bit upset.. Like not even a thank you! Just a request for more things!

IMMEDIATELY that thought crossed my mind, I got a gentle 'nudge' in my mind that "that's how I feel too when you do the same".. And I paused.

HOW many times have I received the 'small' and big blessings of God without acknowledging it, instead I bombard Him with more requests because I feel that ALL my needs are not yet met?

YOU see in recent times, I feel I've been told off by God for my attitude of ingratitude. I was a feeling a bit low a few weeks back and I just focused on ALL the things that weren't right in my life at the moment + the requests that I had made that hadn't been granted.. yet. And so, I nagged God and complained - probably not overtly, but He could hear my complaints in my sadness, in my sighs, in my feeling sorry for myself, in my unwillingness to get excited in church when it was time to say thank you.. I was just a spoilt little ungrateful chit!

I forgot the fact that earlier this year, I made a move that only His grace made a way for me.. And make a way HE did! I forgot the countless favour He has bestowed on me! I forgot how I have had food to eat every single day this year.

I frowned that I don't have a car and the cost of transportation made it seem like I was working for the cabmen but I forgot to thank Him for legs to walk and provisions to afford it. I complained about the fact that I was still single and felt alone on occasions and I forgot to thank Him for the toasters that come my way and that the land is not dry (lol).. I complained that today "I really feel like eating Chinese food in a nice restaurant but I don't have the money *sob sob*" that I forgot to thank Him for all the fancy restaurants He has enabled me eat at in my years on this earth lol..

I forgot so easily, so quickly or perhaps, I didn't even think them 'relevant' enough.. All I wanted was more, more and more...

AN ungrateful heart finds it difficult to receive more.. A person who knows how to show gratitude holds a powerful key in his/her hands.. Doors remain open for you1

IT'S a reminder again folks.. Do you appreciate the 'little' things or would you rather just keep demanding more and more and more without taking a minute to say "Thank You, I appreciate you sooo much"

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Your little girl's saying thank You Daddy! I truly really appreciate you, with sprinkles on top! *kisses*

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

I present to you.. a worthy read for the fellas!

Remember this post about having more role model-ic men and more role model-ic articles for men HERE?

You see as my post explained, we have so many stuff out ther for being the perfect woman, particularly being the perfect wife/other half.. However, in my opinion, I thought we didn't have enough for men or it wasn't as visible!

One of the people who commented said something about embarking on the project myself! And I thought yup, you can complain and complain but if it doesn't solve much! Action speaks louder and is more effective too!

Well, I know a few 2-in-1 men.. They are role-model-ic and they write role model-ic stuff!

So here goes.. Featuring today,  a very role model-ic man whose blog I love reading both for men and women! With permission, I am re-posting an article on his blog catchily and aptly titled 'HUSBANDS: 10 things to do to make your wife go GOOGOOGAGA over you (Without Spending Money) Part 1) by Tobi Atte - Don't you just want to start forwarding the article to your male friends even before reading the content of the post??! :-D

For the original article please go HERE

Enjoy fellas! And we are eagerly awaiting the effect *wink*

Happy Woman - iStock_000017408587XSmallThey say wives can be expensive. They say you have to spend money to make and keep her happy. While I don’t think it should be that way, I know there is a truckload of truth to it.On the flipside however, I know that wives and women in general crave more than just “things”. In fact, many women will tell you that there are many things that you can do that money can’t buy, that will keep you on their mind for days. No Dollars, Pounds, Naira or currency needed.She will go crazy over you.You will solidify your spot as THE MAN in her life. In fact the effect of these things can last for days. That means that if you do one of these ten things once a week, you could make this list last for weeks and you could be at the top of the food chain in her mind for weeks! Weeks! Any of these things will act like finger prints in her heart and you my friend, will reap the benefits in more ways than this article can describe.
In the usual IJUSTMETME  fashion, this list will not be your typical list. Go in with an open mind.
Here we go. 10 things that you can do to make your wife go googoogaga over you. They are simple and they pack a punch. (If you are a lady, send this article to all your married male friends and they will thank you later.)
1.Arrange her closet: Don’t be fooled by the hype. Women may look completely put together when they are out but go look at a woman’s closet when she leaves the house for that major event or for that day she has something important at work. A disaster.  The other outfits she considered, the blouses that didn’t match, the shoes, the jewelry … women always face a time crunch getting dressed for reasons that are beyond the scope of this article (we’d be here for days). Multiply this over a few days and you have a disastrous closet that she “intends” to fix over the weekend. Arrange it for her and you will cause her to shiver with love. For reasons I don’t have enough space to address, she will really appreciate it. You know… pants in one section, dress skirts in another, dress shirts here and camisoles here.
Don’t do it when she is there. Do it maybe when she is asleep, out, cooking or something, and don’t even say anything about it. Let her discover it.
The reason why this will get her into googoogaga mode is that a woman’s sense of security is often tied to how secure she is with how she looks. So when you arrange her closet, you tap into her “security” self and make it better. Think about it. if getting dressed is about feeling secure, then you arranging her closet is really beyond arranging clothes…it’s you making easier to feel secure.
2. Recognize the opportunity cost: This is not about thanking her for “doing” something or for “taking care of something”. Oh No. It’s not the quick “Hey thanks for …” or “I appreciate how you …” Na. It’s much deeper than that. It about putting thought in the thanking processes. Sure you could just buy her another necklace or take her out to dinner but none of those things will count quite like this. This is the type of conversation that you schedule. Yup. The type where you tell her you want to talk to her about something after dinner (she will try to drag it out of you right away but don’t budge…just tell her it’s not something bad); and then you thank her for something by acknowledging what it actually took to do that thing. It acknowledges the opportunity cost. It acknowledges the sacrifice made because that’s the true measure. It’s not just that she picked up the kids, it’s the fact that she scarified time to go, time in traffic, and time at work to do it. It sounds like “Honey I really want to thank you for picking up the kids after school the amount of times you do. It usually means you have to leave work by a certain time no matter what you still have to do at work, sit in traffic for 20 minutes, endure their craziness, wildness or whining in the car on the way home and then almost right away, start thinking of dinner for the family and still pull off this great meal we just had. I realize that my career is not more important than yours but it’s just that you have decided to make that sacrifice for us all”. What you will see on her face may be tears or a smile or her eyes widen. However what is certainly occurring in her heart is utter joy. Pure affection. In that instant, if you really said what you said with conviction, her life will find new meaning and fresh energy and you would have given that to her. She will pay you back a thousand fold. Saying that would have taken all of 60 seconds but you will reap the benefits for weeks if not months. What’s more? It won’t cost you a cent…only some thought.
3. The Bestie call: More than likely, your wife has a best friend. They go way back and maybe she was even the maid of honor at your wedding. You know who she is and if your wife was missing, (God forbid) after family, (or maybe even before family) the bestie would be the next place to call to find her. Well, don’t wait till your wife goes missing to call her bestie. Do it now. If your wife’s best friend is a positive influence on her, call her and let her know that. We men underestimate the social sacrifice our wives make when they marry us. They don’t have enough time to spend with friends, they make YOU…dear hubby, their priority. Well, more than likely before you ever got here, that bestie was her partner in crime and she looked out for and cared about your wife before you even met her. Even if you met your wife before her best friend, be assured that her bestie is part of her support group now and sense of social connection. If her bestie is a positive influence on your wife, call her and appreciate her for it. Tell her you appreciate her and that positive influence. Guess who that bestie will call as soon as she gets off the phone with you? Yup. Your wife…and she is going to rave about you to your wife. Two things will happen instantly (a) Your wife will hear how awesome you are from another person and will instantly go googoogaga over you (b) That bestie will instantly become your ally. Oh yes. She will become YOUR partner in crime in making your wife happy and will defend you if your wife got a brain freeze and forgets how insanely awesome you are :o )
4. Shake what your mama gave you: Yes. I said it. CAUTION! This one may give your wife such a good time that she may go into random giggling convulsions weeks after you do this. By the time you are done with this, your wife will be reminded about some of the important reasons why she married you: You can make her laugh, you make it easy for her to be silly and be herself around you, you trust her with your ego that you can be silly around her, and she always has front row seats to the husband private show.
Picture it. She is cooking, she just came back from work, sitting after her delicious dinner, before she leaves for work in the morning…anytime. You get up, boldy walk to the music player, or maybe the song just comes on TV or the radio and you bust out in mime and dance. I’m talking about a hip shaking, hip turning, rump shaking dance like next month’s rent is coming from the tips your wife gives. Lol. You may be thinking….what! I’m a serious kinda guy and I’ve never done that before.  My wife will think I’m possessed! GREAT. That’s even better. Trust me…she will love you for days for it. You see, a man’s ability to not take himself that seriously all the time…you can’t buy it with money. Women love to laugh and this will crack her up and crack open her loving.
Now here are the criteria. The song must be a somewhat fast song; it must be a funny romantic song. It must have a great beat and it must be a “girl I want you…girl be mine” kind of song. Classics/oldies are welcome and they must be songs your wife knows. Oh and you must mime/sing it TO HER!
Here are a few songs you can unleash your rump shake to:
- Limpopo by Kcee (Nigeria)
-Omo to shan by Wizkid feat Olamide (Nigeria)
-Baby Oku by flavor – dance version(Nigeria)
-Aint nobody by Chaka Khan
-Kiss by Prince
-Pretty Please by Estelle
-The way you make me feel – Michael Jackson (One hand in the air, one hand on your imaginary belt, move those hips and you’re in business. You’ll be the hottest thing your wife has ever seen even with that pot belly)
You don’t have to use these songs but you get the idea. So much googoogaga may come out of this that you may not need to touch this list for a while.
5. Show her how she is like a Bible Character: Take one great female Bible character. There are so many. Sarah , Ruth, Esther, Mary and so on. Read their story and find one or two ways that your wife is like that character. Find a parallel. Maybe that Bible character went through something similar to what your wife went/is going through. Maybe your wife shares a character trait with a Bible character. Is she hardworking? So was Ruth! Does she respect you and never ashamed to do so in public? Sarah respected Abraham so much that she called him Lord. Does your wife like to stand up for others? So did Esther! Discover the parallel and tell her. She will go googoogaga over you…as she should. The good thing is that this will benefit you too. You will see your wife in different light…you’ll see her like God wants you to see her. You see its one thing for your wife to remind you of your mother or of your aunt or your favorite High School teacher. But it’s a whole new ball game when your wife reminds you of Esther…or Mary, and she knows it. Googoogaga juice!
These are just the first 5. There are 5 to go and they get more exciting as we go along. Stay tuned for the next 5 in part two. In the mean time, subscribe to the blog to get notified of new posts, LIKE the facebook page HERE and certainly subscribe to the youtube channel HERE. Also, be social. Share the article (see icons below)
For more FABULOUS articles, please visit Tobi's blog HERE
About the Author
Tobi Atte is a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner
and Motivational Coach. He is a dynamic event host and speaker on several
topics such as motivation, change, leadership, success empowerment,
relationships, fresh perspectives on faith, and personal growth in general.