Here Today....(May be) Gone Tomorrow

I know a lot of people have heard about the death of Reality TV star Jade Goody in the early hours of Sunday morning at the young age of 27...

It was sad hearing that this young lady had really gone.
I remember when I first heard that she was diagonised with the ugly scourge that is Cancer (Read about it here)I was like wow this lady's middle name is drama!
At the time, Jade Goody was fresh from a racial scandal in the Celebrity Big Brother House and was away in India trying to redeem her image .
One obvious thing about Jade's life was that everything seemed to happen so fast.... Infact if she were African, people would have said she probably knew she was going to live a such a short life hence her very "fast" life....

At the age of 19, she entered the Big Brother House and stood out (for being outrageously ignorant of general knowledge). Although she didn't win, she emerged the most popular housemate till date of the show.

Before we could spell JADE, she went on to be a huge success and in a blink of the eye as it were, Jade Goody became a household name: on our TV screens, on our bedside table (on her perfume bottle), on our reading table (her biography) and so on.... She was living the dream, a real grass to grace story.. Many times, she was accused of acting inappropriately, almost as if her upbringing and humble background conflicted with the level of sudden stardom and fame.....It was soo much in such a short time, perhaps she needed time adjusting...

But then again, it had to happen so fast because she wasn't going to be around for very long..... I am happy that Jade was able to achieve what many only dream about through their long lifetime. It seemed as if she was all up in our faces, but she needed to be because we wouldn't see her for too long..

I am a firm believer in that the quality of a man's life is not how long but how well...What's the point of living a 100 miserable years if you can have 40 excellent ones? We all pray for long life but we also pray for good lives.....

What's more important and what for me was the icing on her cake was that in the end she sought a relationship with God, she also went on to have her and her sons christened. It was a beautiful thing to hear...Everything would have been a waste if after all, she died without Jesus. She made the best decision ever and sealed not just her here but her after....A wise woman indeed.

So, her story has made me think, if I died now, what would be my story? Do I have a story? What am I doing to add quality to my life? Do I just live everyday as though it were fleeting? How can I improve myself?

These are questions you should ask yourself too, we may be here today but gone tomorrow..

May God help us!!
xxxx

What's your purpose?

Hiya!

I got this lovely article sent to my email and I thought it would inspire at least one person (hope it does)..... It's definately worth reading, DON'T BE DISCOURAGED BY IT'S LENGTH lol...
Trust me you would be a better person at the end of it, ENJOY!!

Here's a great interview with Rick Warren. He wrote the Purpose Driven Life, A highly recommended book.

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for..
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings..
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD..

God bless xxxx

Frankie and Benny's

Still on the quest to being blogger of the year 2010!! lol (It's real by fire by force oo lol)

I really don't feel like blogging today but I must NOT relent! hehe

Went to Frankie and Benny's for the first time today...Had the meatball sub sandwich (abt £7.95)..I actually prefer Subway's and that costs me £1.99 on Tuesdays when its the sub of the day lol...Nevertheless, the atmosphere and decor was good..and when it was time to bring out the cake (it was a friend's birthday dinner by the way)it was oh so lovely..There's this thing they do whereby they turn off the lights and then play the "happy birthday" song...and you feel sooo special!! I loved it and I was not even the birthday girl....Definately worth having a birthday there!!

My stomach hurts as I write this now cause I ate when I got home as well and now I am "over-full"...Gluttony is a disease!

I am waiting for a call from a special somebody *big grin*
Thats all for today, I have tried ooooo

Good night people! God bless xxxxx

BLOGGER OF THE YEAR BY FIRE BY FORCE

Hiya blogville!

As usual, it's been ages! I haven't particularly left blogville, I have been quite present..only taking a back seat and discovering new and interesting/thought-provoking/funny/ingenious blogs..It has been a beautiful blogsperience :-) I can't remember fully all the really good ones but I would still say my lists would definately include:

Solomonsydelle
Linda Ikeji
Bellanaija
Oluwadee
Good Nigerian Girl
Nigerian Drama Queen
Overwhelmed Nigerian Babe
Christiana Rants
Bumight

(The list is not in any way exhaustive but mehn this bloggers can WRITE! They have re-inspired me to blog! The funny thing is the camaraderie thats exists in this little world known as blogville! The way they relate to each other makes it seem as if they knew each other well, yet for many of them, they are yet to have a one-on-one encounter)

For most of them, I got their info through the Naija bloggers awards... Their blogs are DEFINATELY worth a read.....
So, I have decided that by fire, by force, I must also be a nominee and eventually winner in next year's award hehe..

I thereby solemnly (try to) promise that:

- I would blog at least 3 times a week
- I would not be so obsessed about keeping my identity anonymous, thereby being free-er to talk about daily issues
- I would enjoy every bit of speaking my mind on the forum and not try to make my writing eligible for an Orange prize (that would come in due season lol)
- I would comment so frequently on other's blog that they would probably create another award category specailly for me "Commentator of the year".. and it shall even be a special recognition award.
- I would explore the wide range of "American wonder" that would enable my blog "shine and sparkle" e.g bright lights, pictures, videos, applications....be warned- you may find the blog quite addictive!

Hmmm..that's all I can think of for now....so join me in my quest to being blogger of the year 2010! It's not gonna be easy, I mean just take a look at my fellow contender's blogs *shudders*...I'm shaking!!....but BRING IT ON!!! lol

Peace, love and cocopops (sorry Christiana *wink*)
1 + the One

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

It's VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Lol...I just feel it's appropriate to blog on a special day such as this :-) {Yeah right}

So how do you feel today?? Happy/Sad/Indifferent/Jumpy/Nervous/Expectant/Bitter/Wistful/Jealous/Holy (lol)/Naughty/Depressed/Fortunate.....

Hmm, I am actually not that sad hehehe. That would actually make me sad - feeling sad because it's valentine's day.. Why? Please! lol...

But yeah I know the day does hit people (single) HARDDDD!! But I hope you are able to see the beauty in everything today to distract you...Beauty of the sun, beauty of the little baby that's in the pram on your way out, beauty of having a family, beauty of erhmmm EVERYTHING! Beauty, beauty and more beauty!! (Please anything to take your mind off an acute sense of loneliness is accepted)

I lost someone close to me recently and he was buried yesterday Friday the 13th...I love and would miss him a lot! Just wanted to publicly acknowledge him and to say thank you God for a good old life well spent.... One of my worst fear is losing someone close to me, it's such a terrible thing but unfortunatley it's as sure as life itself. For everyone who has lost a loved one, may you receive God's comfort and the strength to carry on.

So, just a thought for today...Hope you enjoy every bit of "love is in the airism" and be pleasantly surprised!! xx

DATING RULES THEY NEVER TELL YOU!!

How goes it!!
It's your ever faithful erratic blogger lol.....at least I'm faithful at being very erratic :-)

The topic I want to blog about has been playing around in my head for a long time but my busy (lazy) lifestyle :-) has prevented me from doing so....

I have been thinking lately about past relationships and the things I would change/not do if I had to do it all again!! I wouldn't really say I regret them (oh well, is it not an unwritten rule never to regret past occurences even if the very thought of them make you CRIINGE! lol).....So the thing is; I kinda came up with my own personal dating dos and don'ts - Let's call it a sort off guide lol

*DISCLAIMER*

These are entirely my thoughts...some are personal experiences while others are observations (I haven't experienced EVERYTHING ). I'm sure a lot of you might be able to identify with some of them :-)...Welcome to a bit of my world, buckle uppppp hehehe.....

1. Don't go out with someone for the wrong reasons e.g your friends convince you to, you think "what the heck he would do", to convince people that you are really not gay, his friend is your friend's boyfriend so you might as well go for it.......you would most likely wind up being single again after about 2 days....

2. If he doesn't make you giggle silly, maybe he just isn't the one.

3. It is not possible for EVERY guy to "kinda like you"... It is just not practical. Because he smiled at you at the mall doesn't necessarily mean he wants to introduce you to his folks, neither is the fact that the other guy brushed past you mean he was on his way to purchase an engagement ring for you lol...You're hot but not THAT hot!

4. Don't say yes because he said that he cannot handle being "just friends" with you. It might shock you that he would use the same mouth later to say "we can still be friends".

5. Don't kill yourself over pleasing his sisters/brothers/mum....relatives in general if it's not altar-bound. Yes they love you now but they would also love the new girlfriend. It's nothing personal, he's their blood. Not to worry though, if you were really good, they would speak fondly of you at gatherings and you might even get one or two invitations to special occaisions (only snag is that you would have the pleasure of the "new" girl's company as well).

6. Do pay him compliments. Let him feel that he is a hunk/hot/gorgeous/stud/the best. Men also need affirmation even if they pretend like it does not matter.

7. Don't compare him to anybody especially if he comes up wanting. Not even the hot guy on TV whom you would probably never meet. Trust me, don't don't don't.

8. No matter how close or comfortable you become with him, always make an effort. Endeavour to look good as much as possible. No jumping trousers with white socks expecting unconditional love, he may just run out of supply.....

9. Do let him feel like a man, he's got an ego - deal with it! Allow him to pick the bills, buy you nice things, pay for stuff...Yes you have your money and all but let him....

10. Don't fall for a cheap-skate...If he is more than happy to have you pay for stuff more than necessary please don't "manage", find your square-root and FAST!!

11. Don't pick unnecessary fights so that you keep making up...Don't believe what the Mills and Boon books say....Fighting and making up is exciting but it gets pretty old and is a sure way of ending things quickly.

12. ...Same goes for arrogant and jealous guys. After a while, it becomes a burden and huge frustration.

13. Do state clearly at the beginning what your views on sex outside marrige is from the onset, don't assume that he knows.

14. If he doesnt share your views on pre-marital sex, don't expect that he would "endure" for you. He might do at first when the adrenaline is still pumping fresh but after a while, let's just say his patience might start to wear thin.

15. If he really loves and cares about you, he would define the relationship and not have "something" with you. He would proudly show you off and be "in a relationship" on facebook.

16. Don't be too shattered if he doesn't live up to full expectation all the time. He is human afterall.

17. Do play hard to get when it's necessary but not TOO hard. Forget the 21st century ideology, the thrill is in the chase.

18. If he is cheating on his girlfriend with you, sweetheart he would do the same with you if you end up together...this time it might be your sister or cousin he can't help falling in love with!

19. Do run away from a guy who tells you that him and his girlfriend are "having problems" but he really "doesn't have the heart to break up with her" and "it's you he really wants" yet there's always a recently tagged picture of him and his girlfriend all lovey-dovey. Don't accept any excuses/reasons/explanations no matter how good they are...

20. Do show him frequent displays of affection. Let him know that he is special from the others and you really do care if he had a proper breakfast, lunch, dinner and midnight snack. When you go out together, pay him extra attention so that it is loud and clear that that's "YOUR MAN".

Oh well, that's what I have for today.....I have actually had fun writing but mehn I am getting kinda tired of visiting past memories lol
Whenever I remember anything I would surely put up a 2nd part....... All the best in your relationships!!
Above all, may God give us the wisdom to cater to the individual and peculiar needs of our better-halfs. May we revel in fulfilling and beautiful relationships to the glory of His name.....

Love youuuu loads xxxxxxxx

Time on My Side

Today I was going through the Nigerian Future Awards 2009 web page and I felt a bit old :-(
I also felt challenged.

First of all, I would like to commend the wonderful YOUNG trio - the brains behind this amazing project. Kudos to Emilia Asim-Ita, Adebola Williams and Chude Jideonwo. You guys are pace-setters, trail-blazers, fore-runners.....Inspirations!

As I browsed through the profiles of this year's nominees and took note of their ages I was like "wow, I need to up my game". Nigeria has produced some fine young men and women! It gives me hope that our future is indeed bright with such excellent gents and ladies.

It illustrates that age is not a barrier to achieving greatness. You are not too young to be great. A lot of people aspire to be outstanding in their field "when they grow up". When do you actually "grow up"? The thing is before you know it, time is far gone and you only have your past to reminisce about and you wonder where the future of your past has gone.

I remember when I was younger, one of my Sunday school teachers used to drum it into our ears then this verse in the bible where Apostle Paul was admonishing Timothy and he said "Do not let anyone despise your youth, but be an example....." (1Timothy 4 v 12). Now I understand and appreciate those words that used to be like a nagging in my ears (Thanks Dr B!).

Simply put, the apostle was advising Timothy and indeed all young people not to allow anyone look down on us nor under-estimate us because of our age but we should aspire to be leaders and achievers in spite of our youth. Your youth should never be a liability, rather it should be an asset to working towards your goals. Does not strength and enthusiasm lie in the bosom of the young?

Time is not on your side, you need to utilise and maximise every single second. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hand.......


http://www.thefuturenigeria.com/organizers.php (Profile of the Organizers)

http://www.thefuturenigeria.com/nominees_profiles.php (Profile of the Finalists)

Violated....

Hiya,
Its your erratic blogger signing in today after like 2 weeks!! (Oh and I made up my mind to be consistent in my blogging this year!!)

It can only get better!! :-)

I hope you are all anticpating the 20th of January. I can only imagine how many parties would be going on around the world. I have been invited to soo many already. "Obama Inauguration extravaganza", "Celebrate history in Style", "Obama's official inauguration party", "Change is here", "Yes we Can party" lol (Ok, I came up with all those ridiculous names :-)
But yeah it's going down and it's going down in style! The whole world would be agog (at least more than half of the world population hopefully. I'm not quite sure Obama is a household name in Kotangora)

Anyways today's post is actually not about Mr Obama - just thought to keep up with what's News item at the moment. In the same vain, I just want to say a special THANK YOU to God for all the 155 passengers aboard the plane that crashed in New York yesterday. No life was lost and even observers have termed it "AMAZING". That's one of the names of our wonderful God!! Thank God that 155 families are not mourning at the moment!! THANK GOD!!

Now to the real "koko" of my post today. I recently watched on of my favourite Nigerian...actually scratch that, make that one of my favourite movies of all times - "VIOLATED". I was sooo excited when I stumbled upon it on youtube. You see, I had been looking for it for soo long and infact given up on ever watching it again until that fateful day lol...

So, after watching it, I started going over every bit of the movie in my head as I usually do. And I was thinking to myself how Mr Amadi (the uncle of the lead actress who raped her when she was younger)......Hmm actually it would make more sense if I actually wrote the synopsis of the movie but mehn it would be quite long cause I would probably give you every single detail, in the process killing the suspense for those who haven't had the good fortune of watching it (Have I mentioned how much I love that movie?? lol). So I will leave you to the joy of watching the movie first-hand! (Bear in mind it's a classic romance)

Yeah anyways, Mr Amadi didn't really get "very very" punished for his sins as much as I would have thought was due him. Yes his wife left with the son and he lost his job but I felt it wasn't enough cause he was not brought to justice. Then I thought again that this bit was probably one of the areas that made the movie realistic. Sad but realistic.

In Africa, it's sad that a lot of "uncles", "big bros" and the likes get away with rape (statutory and otherwise) almost on a daily basis wthout being brought to face the law.

Most times, the shame and stigma attached to being a victim of rape is enough to make one keep quiet about the incident. Other times, the victims are so young and naive that they do not understand the full meaning of what is going on and the extent of the crime. Sometimes, fear is a factor that makes the crime go unpunished. The perpetrator would instill such deep fear in his victim through threats and in some cases just his position of financial or familial security to the girl.

Another big obstacle to justice being served is that though I'm sure there's a provision for such a crime in the laws of the land, not many people are aware of it. Victims don't know what help is available to them, where to go for help and who to talk to...leaving no option for the victims who are even bold enough to speak up. Besides no one talks about it so victims are misled to believe that it must be the norm...

The victims bear the scars for a long time and in some cases for life. This unfortunate incidence stops them from achieving their potential , it lowers self-esteem and kills dreams before they are born. It's a very sad sad issue......but it still persists. I have met a numebr of girls who have been sexually abused in one form or the other usually by "close" family members or friends and their stories are disheartening. What's worse, the perpertrators are most often not ever found out by others never mind being brought to justice!

Something has to happen! We definately need a change! We need a massive campaign to bring this ugly crime to the knowledge of people. The governemnt owes it people that they serve this duty; to educate and empower. We need a stronger, tougher and uncompromising justice system for the perpetrators and an accesible, open, confidential help and counselling center for the victims.

This decay can and must end!

The truth is that although the justice system may fail sometimes, God never fails. Whatever a man sows that shall he reap. Anyone who thinks he has escaped the law can NEVER ever hide from God.

My heart goes out to everyone who has or is a victim of rape/sexual abuse. May God heal you completely of every hurt and pain that has been caused. May He embrace you with His everlasting love and make you feel free again. May He breathe on you a new lease of life and wipe out the ugly memories of the past. May He make you see the gift of today and the beautiful promise of tomorrow that you have in Him and that no one can take away from you. May He spoil you with His love and make you undertstand and experience true love.

God bless you, Lots of love xxxxxx

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2009!!

Wow! Aren't you glad you made it!! It's always a beautiful feeling at 00:00 of the first day in a new year. There's always this joyous even euphoric, expectant feeling.

It's great to see another year gone past!!

I pray that this year would be better than anyone before. May we all be great achievers in this new year, may our expectations not be cut short. May we have the grace to dream BIG!! And may our dreams become reality....

I wish you all the best from the very bottom of my heart. There's nothing that you cannot achieve nor become with God, for with Him all things are possible. If you can think it, you can see it, if you can see it, you can say it. If you can say it and believe it you can most definately achieve it by the grace of God almighty!

Don't let anything limit you. Don't put barriers to your dreams.....dare to dream impossible, that's why God gave you a mind and a heart! For with Him, nothing shall be impossible!!.

It's a new start, a new beggining... the latter shall always surpass the former!!

God bless xxxxxxx

And He jumped.....

Today, I made up my mind that I was going to 1. Blog and 2. Study

Thank God I am able to do the first, the verdict is still out on the latter though :-)

To be honest I have LOOONGED to blog. Infact I have blogged tens of times in my mind but I have not found the strength to put fingers to keyboard - I don't know what the problem really is but I won't focus on that now so I don't ramble on and on and on and on......

This is quite a sober piece...

Yesterday, I travelled to a neighbouring city for the evening and was glad when the programme I went for finished earlier than expected. I was happy to jump on the train back home to get to my lovely housemates, facebook and bed (and maybe books.....maybe) when it was announced at the station that the train had been delayed indefinately as a result of a fatal accident.

What happened was that someone had jumped in front of a train in what was most probably a suicidal attempt (of which the person succeded). A lot of commuters who had just had a long day at work and were looking forward to getting home were quite disgruntled to say the least even whilst they sympathised with the poor victim.

Surprisingly (or not), the general attitude of people was more disgruntled than sympathy....

Whilst being delayed for 2 hours, I had time to wonder a bit about the situation. The death of a human being is never a pleasant one, added to the fact when the end comes in such a brutal manner. I used to believe that no one really wants to die, even for christians who know the joy of a better place in heaven, meeting face to face with their father, hence the joke "everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die".

What I wonder is, what compelled this person to want to end it all? Why did he feel the need to take his own life? What could have happened in his life for him to believe that jumping in front of a speeding train was the best way out? Did he not have something to live for - Family, friends?? Had he made a cry for help but no one took him seriously? Why would he voluntarily do that to himself?? Why did he choose that particular exit route? Was he trying to make a statement??

Why were people not moved as such? Has it become normal to commit suicide? Is it just another "unfortunate" incident?

So many questions.... some of which may never get a proper answer.

It's a sad sad thing. The only thing he got out of it probably was the stand-still of rail transport for 2 hours. Sad truth is that he still remains a faceless and nameless statistic even to us who heard about the "incident". I feel sad for the wasted life, the wasted destiny, the wasted opportunity.....I wonder if he heard the saying "Where there's life, there's hope". He probably did, but didn't believe it enough to want to stay alive.

Maybe, he knew that there was something wrong and he genuinely sought help but didn't find anyone to listen. Such a shame.....He could have looked up and said softly "Please help me, I need Your help".
This is also a learning curve for us to be sensitive to people who are down or just miserable...it just might be their cry for help

It's funny how people struggle each day to keep alive whilst somewhere else someone has just wasted one. May God bless his family if he had any and may He always give us the grace to see at least one thing in our lives worth living for.