Waiting and Loving It!!! Feat NaijaWife and NaijaHusband

Hello everyone!! Hope you had a lovely Easter weekend! Thanks for *tuning* in for another Waiting and Loving It!!! feature!! :-)

Today's guests are no strangers to a lot of people in the Blog Community.. In fact, I dare say if you haven't heard about them, you are on a LASTMA level (ask Google lol).. You can check out their real, honest, down-to-earth blog HERE! You will smile, you will laugh, you will learn, you will 'awww' and you will definitely want to get married! lol

They blog anonymously but have graciously agreed to share their story on Waiting and Loving It! It's a beautiful one indeed and it gives me much pleasure to present to you a couple who make marriage look so so pleasurable and something to look forward to, who debunk many myths about the 'weariness' of marriage and who we all know as Naijawife (NW) and Naijahusband (NH)! Be blessed... xx

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Hiya fabulous Naijacouple, great to have you sitting on the *HOT* W & LI seat today! Could you please tell us a little about yourselves and how you both met?

NH - Ah we have to be a bit coded here, so we’ll just say “we met through mutual friends”.

NW - Yeah – What he said. *wink wink*

LOL, that's fair enough.. So, tell us, what initially attracted you to each other?

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NH - I could start out with the typical characteristics. Her beauty, her intelligence, bla bla. But I’m sure you’ve heard similar things before. So I’ll just focus on what really stood out about her. Her number one character trait that I noticed was something she’s lacks. She lacks the ability to 'form'.

No one wants to reveal their real personality because they feel vulnerable…or they think you won’t like them. But NW was someone who, from the moment she walked into my life, was not interested in playing games. She was extremely outgoing, outspoken and funny. She wasn’t afraid to laugh loudly in the crowd or dance when music came on. She was different. She was honest and she was real.

NW – It was clear from the get go. He really struck me as a GOOD guy. Do you know what I mean? I think every girl has that one guy she meets (and hopefully he isn’t already taken!) that is just GOOD. No overblown ego. No drama. No “bad boy/I’m a player” nonsense. Well spoken. Well mannered. Intelligent. Handsome. Great smile. Great reputation (which I later confirmed with my investigations... I’m very nosy lol!). He was one of those rare, true, original 'good men'.

P.s. – Ladies. Don’t buy into that “nice guys finish last” nonsense. Marry the nice guy oooooo! (then thank me later)

Great insight.. As real as your husband testifies! How did you know that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with each other?

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NH – It took time for us to get to know each other and our families properly, and to see each other go through various seasons of life. It also took a lot of growing on both our parts and we had to really mature spiritually. Life is what it is, so not everything was smooth sailing. (You can read more about that here. http://www.naijahusband.com/2013/12/01/a-letter-to-my-ex/ ) So even though I’d told her that marriage was my goal when we started dating, and I knew I would likely marry her, it was really a few years into the relationship when I knew for sure that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. 

 
NW – I wish I could give a very spiritual answer here…the way all the other contributors in this series have done. However, we didn’t start off our relationship as a “God told me I should date you after I fasted and prayed for 40 days and 40 nights.” Sometimes I wish we had, but I don’t regret a thing. All the good signs were there. I loved him. He loved me. Our families were happy with the relationship. Our friends thought we were a great match. But as for God’s will….well these days, we barely make any decisions without praying and seeking the will of God about it, but back then, I dated when I was in the mood to. I wasn’t thinking long term relationships and I certainly wasn’t thinking of marriage even though he was. All I knew was I’d met a guy I liked and I wanted to date him and sometimes that’s all you need to start with. But you know what’s so funny about God’s will? When something is meant to happen, it happens. He shook the both of us up and made us sit up and seek his face. Things got even more serious and that’s when I realized he wasn’t just my 'nice boyfriend' …He was for keeps! For ever! After we came to that realization, we started praying very seriously about it and sought counseling BEFORE we got engaged.

That's wonderful.. What made you make the decision to wait to have sex after marriage?

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NH – That was a lifelong decision I’d made long before I met NW. She asked me that question on like, day 3, after I met her. You can just imagine my relief when I told her and she replied “Me too!”

NW – Same here. I’d already decided I didn’t want to have sex with anyone I wasn’t married to before I met him. Plus I had other things on my mind besides sex anyway…like plotting to take over the world. :-)

Here’s what I’ve told some of the people who’ve written in to us - NH never felt like he was ‘missing out’ on anything by being with me, because he was committed to sexual purity on his own (ever notice how guys who aren't virgins find it difficult to date a virgin girl that isn't willing to sleep with them? It's because they're a) Already used to it and can’t stop, b) Don't see abstaining as something for them, and c) Aren't as willing to 'wait it out' with a girl who won't 'give in'.) We had both individually made the decision to abstain long before we met each other, not only because we didn't want to deal with pregnancy scares, or were scared of STDs (all good reasons though), but because we really truly wanted to share that intimacy with the person we'd spend the rest of our lives with. We saw sex as a gift. To be shared with only that special person who has stood before God and man and sworn to love you all the days of your life. Plus, because we had learned how to resist temptation, I felt more certain that, even after being married, we would be stronger at resisting temptation with others (and trust me temptation doesn't end even though you're married). A man who can stand strong in the face of temptation before and after marriage, that’s what I wanted.

Amen to that! We know that making a decision is one thing, (and a great start), however, actually doing it is another... What practical measures did you take to ensure that you stuck by your decision?

NH – We get this question a lot in our “AskNaijaCouple” letters. What we’ve explained is that although we knew we wanted to be together in future, we also knew that, just in case we weren't meant to be, we needed to treat each other the way we hoped someone else would treat our future spouses (so if NW wasn’t going to be my wife, then I'd hope that the woman who would be my wife would be dating a man who would help her stay abstinent as well). This meant that not only did I have to protect myself and honor my body, I had to protect her as well and honor her body for her future husband (in case it wasn't me).

Rules are tough to follow and no one wants to feel like they're in jail with rules like "don't kiss for longer than 5 seconds" or "don't hold my hand for too long". But we set our rules because our commitment to abstinence was a commitment to purity. We weren’t interested in simply being technically correct about abstinence. That's not what purity is about.

NW - We’ve also told people how our commitment to abstinence allowed us to get creative with our dates and to see our relationship for what it really was, free of sexual issues. We could think about our future with a clear mind and plan our lives together without mixing lust into the equation.

Also, at the end of the day, because of our shared faith, we could always come together and pray for strength as a couple (as well as praying separately). And when we did, God really blessed us and kept us strong.

That's lovely, thank God. Now that you've crossed that line, what’s one advice you would give to your single self in preparation for marriage?

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NH - Look forward to it. It’s a beautiful thing.

NW – Marriage doesn’t have to be the disaster you think it is, based on what you see around you. You will make the right decision and have a good marriage if you choose a truly good man and trust God.

Thank you :-) Lastly, could you please describe in 3 words / sentences the best part about being married!

NH - You get to sleep with your best friend and not have it be awkward at all.
Just joking. I can’t sum up what it feels like really, but just knowing that someone is always there for you, and isn’t going anywhere…that’s one of the many good things about marriage.

NW – Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just look at him. The fact that he’s in the room with me and always will be, and that he’s here to protect me, comfort me and be with me all the days of my life (cheesy I know!) is the best part. 

Not cheesy at all.. Loved it :-)... Thank you so much for sharing with us today NH and NW, I have really enjoyed your interview and been blessed as well... Thank you.

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Isn't it refreshing to read about the beauty of marriage when you have GOD at the centre of it? I can not say it enough, a good and fulfilling marriage is not a myth.. A lot of people desire it, a lot of people wonder if they would ever get so 'lucky'.. It's not luck, it takes GOD, making a good choice - the right choice for you, a commitment by both parties and work put in to ensure that it is all that you ever dreamed of.

It's also very possible to keep sex until marriage.. A lot of people are 'doing It!', and by God's grace, you can too! Tuesdays are a reminder that God's standards don't change and with Him, ALL things are possible. 

I pray for God's grace for everyone who desires a GOOD man/woman, who desires to wait until after marriage, who desires an exemplary marriage full of God, thereby full of love and a blessed home. It is POSSIBLE by God's grace. 

Please don't forget to visit their blog at www.naijahusband.com and also follow them on Twitter for very inspiring and funny tweets and updates @naijawife & @naijahusband.

"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Him, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass" - Psalm 37:4-5

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
Email - oneplustheone@gmail.com
Twitter - @1plustheone
Facebook - www.facebook.com/1plustheone

To read more wonderful Waiting and Loving It features, please click HERE xx