*DISCLAIMER* - Spoiler Alert (Please if you haven't watched the movie, I talk about some things that happened in it)
SourceI believe it's a movie that has a message for different people in different ways depending on what 'demons' you're facing.
Many parts of the movie made me really sad for Judith (the lead character). Many times, when it has to do with marriage/relationships, I must say that a lot of emphasis is put on how a woman/wife must continue to make an effort long after the initial buzz of the relationship in order to keep her man from straying.
Learn to spice up the relationship! Keep the romance alive, don't wear hairnets (you have to read this POST on www.naijahusband.com - beautiful!), make sure dinner is ready before he gets home, do your nails, maintain excellent personal hygiene, don't let sex be boring, don't wear boring nighties etc etc etc.. In fact, I have taken sooo many notes I have an encyclopaedia of information on how to 'keep the fire of romance burning vigorously for my man in my home'.
Arguably (I stand to be corrected), I don't think a lot of our brothers are being informed on how to keep their woman from straying.
I believe very strongly that one of the biggest needs of a woman in a relationship is security. This includes security in that fact that you still love her as much as you did when you first met, that she actually made the right decision in choosing to be with you (yes, we think about that too), that you still love her enough to make an effort - dress well, look sharp! (yes, we have our egos too and we want to proudly show you off to our girlfriends and sometimes exes lol), that you can still give us as much attention to keep us going (let me shout it loud - Women loveee attention, many of us love quality time, we also like affirmation.... "Baby I love you", "Baby, you can do it", "Baby, I will support you").. It matters a LOT to us too! Remember birthdays and important days.
When you stop doing all these things, you make other men who do it seem attractive. Please help us help you.. Be our man. Be the man we fell in love with. Make an effort. Shave. Use deodorant. Have a shower. Don't let that game outshine us. Listen to us when we dream (cause women love to dream + share it with our significant other). Don't stop dreaming yourself (we are natural nurturers so we gat to work with something - I dare say no woman wants a layabout). Act like the head, don't wait for us to keep doing the pushing. Surprise us once in a while. Remember the things you used to do when you were 'toasting' us? Do it again, and do it more!
It's not only 'bad' girls or 'ungrateful' girls who are tempted to or actually cheat, lonely women do, emotionally-deprived women do too, Christian girls who are bored and ignored do... (*disclaimer* it doesn't excuse it though*)
Lead us not into temptation we pray.
PS, I think he should have forgiven her and stayed. For me, that's the evidence of 'true' love *mythoughts*
omg! he left her!!! I have been dying to see the movie( and u just gave away the ending. Sob).
ReplyDeleteWill still make out time to see it.
Anybody can be tempted, takes grace and focus to stand strong.
so many fyn women and sweet talking guys out there compared to our hair net wearing and butt scratching partners(lol) but when you put things in perspective, you make the right decisions to stay put.
Oh dear! favoredwoman I'm so so sorry! I should have put a disclaimer at the beginning of the post (which I am going to do now!).. Sincere apologies!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes1 I agree with you.. It's also each person's responsibility to 'check' themselves so that you remember what's important and lasting and not compromise that for a fleeting time of 'fun' xxx
LOOOOOOOOOL! 1+theone, but I thought we agreed hairnets were allowed now haba! You guys are making me feel like a bad wife!
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note thought, it does take a lot of effort. No one tells you before you go in how much hard work it will be for both partners to keep that spark going...but it IS easy to do if you are both fun loving people in general.
and by the way. i HATE tyler perry movies now. I won't pay to watch them (but might watch them for free some other way. e.g at the hairdressers lol). I just feel he has a lot of beef with women who have jobs/careers and beef with wealthy men. In most of his movies, the wealthy man is evil and the woman with a job is a harridan/neglectful wife. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI haven't watched the movie. I think both parties in any relationship need to put in as much effort to make it work....
ReplyDeleteLooooooool
ReplyDeleteNaija wife I don't think so ooo
I abs love his movies
And yup one plus the one I think so too
Leaving her just wasn't right to me as he too had some blame himself
The movie made me think tho
Like reallllllly think
Great blog. I see your comments on Inthe a lot
I'll bookmark this page
;)
E'
She had HIV ....and I bet he wanted a family...he still cared about her at the end tho'
ReplyDeleteThe Fashion Engineer
Sayedero
ReplyDeleteLemme just go on pretending this aint a movie but real life...
If he wanted a family, he could have had one with her despite her status.
Plus he was even in the medical profession. Makes it even easier.
But tyen again, it was a movie
:-)
E'
@naijawife.. Bad wife? You? Never?! + I agree with you on Tyler Perry movies.. I'm not a big fan (I always wondered why and if I was weird cause everyone seems to like them) For me, I don't like the messages he passes in his movies - If you want a Christian movie, go for it but don't quote the bible on one hand and do some 'contrary' things on the other *that's me though*
ReplyDelete@Sykik, I agree very much with you. You need the commitment of both parties to make a relationship/marriage work.
@E! Thanks a LOT for your comments and for stopping by :-) I'm excited.com lol.. Gpoing to check out your blog too xx
@Sayedero, Hmmm, why I agree with you that she had HIV and he wanted a family, Just like E said, if he wanted a family, he could have still had one (apart from drugs, we have adoption, surrogacy etc).. On the day they took their vows, they said 'for better or for worse, till DEATH do us part'.. I didn't see no one dying.. lol
You know, if the case were reversed, the woman would be expected to forgive and stand by her husband.. Magic Johnson had HIV and his wife was praised for standing by him.. There are some women who contract HIV from their husbands(!) and they choose to stand by them.. If the man was a true 'loving' husband as was portrayed, he should have held on.. xx
*while not why (previous comment)
ReplyDelete@E, you're a Man U supporter! Yayyy :-D xx
Welcome your latest follower. And the loyal kind too. I hope you return the favour. Thanks for dropping by my blog.
ReplyDeleteYayyyyy *dancing*.. Glad to have you Atilola! Goes without saying, certainly following you! xx
ReplyDeleteI should take off that picture!!!
ReplyDeleteI am NOT ooo...
Those were for pre-wedding shots a while back cos the hubby is a Man-u fan...
I'm Chelsea... But he's trying too hard to make me Red. I think I'll just go neutral or support Enyimba!!!
Ugh...
The sacrifices we women make... Y can't he become Chelsea? Why oh why???!!! Hehehehe.
Anyhow, the days of that picture are definitely numbered!!!
E'