Waiting and Loving It!!! Feat Anwinli and Ohis Ojeikere

I met this beautiful couple a few weeks back through a wonderful mutual friend and I just fell in love with Anwinli! (sorry Ohis lol). We chatted like old friends, I grilled her like she was under FBI investigation and I learnt so much as well. I have to say that she is such a beautiful woman (love her dimples! :-D) and her beauty is not just external but there's a deeper beauty that shines through from a lovely heart - you just feel 'at home' with her - And she's married to a very wonderful man indeed.
I enjoyed watching them interact like old friends and it felt like they'd been married for donkey years (Their first weddng anniversary is on Sunday!)

They have a Youtube Channel 'The Winlos' where they post really funny and personal skits, with something to learn. Honestly, it's too cute!

I wouldn't say any further, please welcome today's Waiting and Loving It feature - Anwinli and Ohis Ojeikere.

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1 + The One: Hello Anwinli! Nice to have you here, could you please tell us about yourselves?

Ok here goes - Mr and Mrs Ohis Ojeikere or Mr and Mrs Anwinli Ohis Ojeikere met in Asaba in 2008 and were very close friends. We didn't have any 'emotional thingy' for each other. We were not even each others' choices. I wasn't his ideal woman physically as he wanted some 'obvious' things in a woman (I on the other hand, am very slim on all fronts lol). For me, he was too black and had these black lips that looked like that of a smoker LOL. And he wasn't fluent - Still not but has improved greatly. He went into relationships with others with the 'shape' he wanted, and me too with the toasters (suitors) that were coming, which didn't quite work out as something somehow was lacking in them. It's funny how we gist about it now.

Anyways, he heard strongly that what he was looking for was very close to him and that's mee - Anwinli :-) So March 7th, 2011, he asked me out. It was a bit shocking and I thought he was joking. He told me he was very serious and that he would want to marry me.
It was also funny because this guy was really a broke dude then hahaha

Well, to be honest, I didn't pray much about it. I had known him so well. He had the 'majors' in my list, especially the God-factor. I chilled a bit for a week (so as not to look 'easy' :-D) and said yes to him on the 13th of March, 2011. We got married on the 18th of May, 2013.

We would have gotten married sooner (2012) but I held on to pursue a Masters' degree in Ghana.That's the summary of me and my Bridegroom, my mentor!

1 + The One: Wow! Thank you for that very detailed introduction! So when he asked you out, did you have that 'emotional thingy', because you didn't when you first met.

             

When he asked me out, I felt 'something' a bit, especially when he hugged me but it was just there jare because I was still looking at the black lips - like "Could I kiss this guy for real?" I just had mixed feelings about it. But it didn't take so long before I started being attracted to him. I had to help him as well to 'get me' by telling him things I knew would appeal to me, for instance I suggested that he referred to me using a term of endearment. He started calling me 'Sweetheart' - that had the opposite effect, as for me it was a turn off! Hahaha

So I told him I would prefer he referred to me as 'Baby'. Anyways, the guy tried in being romantic. His voice was so soft overnight! I was so surprised with the new vocal range haha

So the straight answer is: I didn't feel the emotional thingy immediately.

1 + The One: But it developed?

It developed very fast!

         

1 + The One: Did you get scared initially that the physical attraction may never come? 

Nah, I wasn't scared at all. The day he asked me out, I said even if this guy has black lips, he's got a good height and I like his muscles too :-D That's one of the things that I liked in a guy (a nice build), and thank God his nice body still 'gets me' today! *cheeky grin* lol.
I have to also add that I felt a very strong peace about him.

          

1 + The One: Lol... So with all the attraction going on with his muscles and stuff, what made you both make the decision to wait?

One of the visions or should I say purpose or goal in our relationship was to be role models. We wanted our relationship to be a standard - so that kept us, beside the fear of God. For everytime we felt like it, we would always remind ourselves about our purpose so that kept us waiting.

1 + The One: ..So you understood that your relationship had a purpose, that's wonderful. Were there things you did or avoided to ensure that you did not compromise?

Yes. We tried as much as much as possible to keep it open - no hanging out at hotels and private places. Most importantly, we always talked about how we were feeling. Whether it be our telephone conversations or in person, openess was the key and we found out that killed or melted the urge.

Also, if you are struggling, pray and be open before God for strength in moments like that and HIS STRENGTH will show forth somehow. We had our struggling moments too.

             

In addition, I must mention that we had mentors (and still do till now) who would check on us from time to time. They were there to help evaluate our relationship.
So besides God, you may need mentors you can trust to open up to when you are struggling so that they can give you the best advice.

Waiting was very important to us because it meant we loved ourselves enough to do so and felt fresh in God's presence - nothing to be ashamed of. Waiting makes you feel proud, preserved and free without being condemned in your hearts. I like the fact that my man is able to publicly affirm me a lot, saying that the way we handled our relationship makes him trust me easily and hold me in high regard as having principles.

1 + The One: Thank God for that! I love that you said that openess is key. Do you have any thoughts or advice about marriage after 12months in?

Friendship is important in marriage. Communication is key. If you become friends, or are friends with the person you marry it becomes sweet and easier because you know each other really well. In the case of my hubby and I, everything I have seen so far in him and him in me is no different from the things we knew about ourselves before we even started a relationship, and before we got married. Also, my hubby and I communicate about everything - we are so expressive, especially my hubby - Gosh!!!!! He is so very open.
Openess eases a lot in marriage. It's so much work but easy when dealing with an expressive friend.

For a woman, you must be sure that what he tells you is safe with you and you won't condemn him or remind him of his past, because many of us could be 'past-oriented' which can be very hurtful to a man and can kill him being open with you.

Be a home for your man, he will always long to, and look forward to coming back home.

Lastly, it is important to be a strong intercessor, your home will need it. As a couple we check on each other on things that have to do with our spiritual lives - Especially as a wife to my husband, because I realise that he can get very busy and decline a bit - so he's on my watch and vice versa.

I gatchu babe!

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Again and again in the Waiting and Loving It feature, one common theme is honesty, openess and communication (or is that 3?) required to make any relationship work. Don't just assume that they know, talk about it. Talk about your convictions, your values, your plans and your struggles. It may surprise you how much more understanding and strength you could draw from each other.

Also, like Anwinli mentioned, as much as possible, be accountable to someone or some people (prefarably older or more experienced). It helps you a lot! You don't have to tell them every detail of your relationship, that's private, but you can share general struggles and temptations in order to receive good counsel. The bible says there is safety in the multitude of counsel. Don't keep quiet about it - Be honest with yourself, talk to God about it and share with your partner. May God help us all.

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Like I mentioned earlier, the Ojeikeres have a fantastic and very cutee Youtube channel where they post funny, entertaining and enlightening skits on different topics particularly around married life and relationships! I have really enjoyed watching them, I'm sure you would love it too! I have posted a few of my favourites below and you can watch more on their Youtube Channel and follow them on Facebook too!

Youtube: The Winlos

Facebook: /thewinlos

What Every Woman Wants in a Man

Faith Kills: Don't Kill Yourself

Please click HERE for other Waiting and Loving It Couples!

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
Email - oneplustheone@gmail.com

Twitter - @1plustheone
Facebook - www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Love Yourself enough to... Look good

I got a message while at work last week from one of my dear friends who was visiting for a couple of weeks and she was inviting me out to meet-up with my other friends after work. I was reluctant to accept at first because it was all unplanned and all that and then she said the *magic words*, "We'll discuss my talk at the marriage seminar" - I was like you have just used my passion against me, how could I possibly say no to that?! Hahaha

I was all ready to accept when I looked down and noticed how 'dressed-down' I was (that's me being very kind to myself).

source

 First thing that came to my mind was "Oh dear, I knew I should have made more of an effort today, always be prepared Ayo, be prepared!" I did a few rush rush job after work and hopefully managed to look presentable.
Now, it was the conversation I had with my other lovely friend (who manages to look impeccable ALL the time!) while I was telling her about my little dilemma (lol) that got me thinking.. I was like "I didn't realise we were going anywhere after work, I would have made more of an effort etc etc" and she responded saying "Ayo, don't you just dress up for yourself? Do you have to wait for an audience to look good? How about doing it for yourself?" While we laughed it off with my preference for more sleep over picking out an outfit each morning, her words rang true for me.

How much attention do we pay to the way we look because like L'Oreal says, we are truly 'worth it' -Not because we have someone to impress or because we have a big occasion to attend but just because you recognise that you are precious enough to look after yourself whether people are watching or not. Do you value yourself enough to look good just for you?

It's not just in your clothes and the make-up but in little grooming pleasures that are such wonderful treats but which we sometimes unfortunately deny ourselves.

- When last did you 'splurge' by treating yourself to the spa (even if it's Mama Ndubuisi's corner) for a day out, or decide to get a manicure or a pedicure? Are you waiting for a gift voucher or for someone 'special' to arrange it for you?

- How closely do you pay attention to what you eat, to exercising - recognising that your spirit could be all fired up but if you neglect to look after your physical body, you could unfortunately lose it?

- When last did you ditch scrimping and saving momentarily to just buy yourself something nice (to go into a store to buy something nice for yourself - it doesn't have to be expensive, just something nice).

- Do you still have the same *fragrance-filled* extensions from 2 months ago. You know the deal with that - "no time to go to the hairdressers*

Have you ever felt the confidence that dressing up and looking good gives? It doesn't have to be expensive or flamboyant, just an extra thought for yourself and the way you present yourself.

Sometimes we pay a hefty sum for a simple meal at a fancy restaurant - Most of what you are paying for is how the Chef dresses up the food to look good! Rice becomes Risotto (with a foreign accent lol).. But it looks so good, you don't argue paying extra for it! Some people call it packaging :-)

Gently steamed beans dipped in proteinous substance aka Moi Moi :-) source

Jollof rice and Chicken garnished with fried Plantain :-) source  

Love yourself enough to take extra time in grooming yourself. You have a body that goes through wear and tear. You owe it to yourself and to the Almighty God who fashioned you so beautifully to preserve the beauty of you.

I am not asking you to become obsessive about your looks, I am only saying that it's time you cared enough to look good. 'Package' yourself. Take delight in spending a bit extra to look after YOU.. Look after yourself, spend a little more this month, treat yourself now and again and do it not because 'everyone is doing it' but because you are worth it.

And on the days when you would rather trade the grooming for some extra sleep, wear a huge smile - afterall, that's the best make-up :-)

Dear Daddy - Silas Omoha

In the spirit of the theme for the month of May which is Love YOU - Celebrating and falling in love with the unique individual that God has made each and every one of us, we will be doing 'Dear Daddy' differently.
Each Friday this month, we will have different guests writing a Dear Daddy post appreciating God for the gifts and blessings He's graciously invested in them.. It's a great opportunity to celebrate YOU, thanking God for being ever so gracioius :-)

I love that this comes from a guy.. Men are sometimes not the most expressive of people, however I love the beauty of the expression of this wonderful young man in his heart-to-heart interaction with His Abba Father.. Our Daddy has truly made such great people!

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Dear Daddy,

I can’t believe I just called you that! As you already know, I have become accustomed to calling you, ‘Father of mercy!’; my special penchant in my ever consistent attempt to get your attention and to ask for another favour.

Well today, I write to remind you once more that I’m thankful for your unbelievable consistency and loyalty. Who would be ever so foolish to trade a God like you for another?

When I consider the vast amount of divine intelligence at your disposal; Your ability to know the worst about people like me, and yet love them, it simply blows my mind!

When I consider the might of your matchless superiority and majestic grandeur; Your obvious unimaginable schedule, and how you still make time to pay attention to people like me, evidenced by the many testimonies I can boast of. It simply blows my mind!

When I pay attention to the long distance I have covered through you in life’s short race; Your benevolence, your patience, your matchless love… Above all, how you could have picked someone like me literally from what we often describe as the miry clay, and then repackage me… It simply blows my mind!

While I remain dazzled by your loving wonder, permit me to make an affirmation. I affirm in the words of Jonathan McReynolds that, as surely as I know my name, I also know one thing that will never change; that is

I LOVE YOU!

I know we get to fellowship quite often, even now, but I think it is romantic to write you a letter right in front of you. (Considering our many sided relationship; Daddy, Friend, Lover of my soul, Confidant, Hope and Everything I need, all I want and all I will ever need). Don’t you think so?

Your boy, 

Silas

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Want to send a letter to our Daddy? We welcome you to send in yours to oneplustheone@gmail.com (not more than 300 words)... Posts will be published on Fridays! Celebrate Jesus, celebrate His glory in YOU!

Dear Daddy - Isioma Ikediashi

In the spirit of the theme for the month of May which is Love YOU - Celebrating and falling in love with the unique individual that God has made each and every one of us, we will be doing 'Dear Daddy' differently.
Each Friday this month, we will have different guests writing a Dear Daddy post appreciating God for the gifts and blessings He's graciously invested in them.. It's a great opportunity to celebrate YOU, thanking God for being ever so gracioius :-)

It's with immense pleasure that I introduce our first guest, an absolutely lovely and talented blessing of a human being. A lady who has been a hugeee blessing, and from whom I have learnt so much from too! A deep woman indeed who loves God so much she can't hide it :-) - Miss Isioma Ikediashi...

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Dear Daddy,

Every time I look at, think about or speak to my earthly father, it just makes me appreciate you and love you to the highest heavens and back. I can paint your picture all day - BIG, STRONG, RELIABLE, SOFT, CUDDLY, SWEET, JEALOUS, FINE, TALL, HUGE….

I look at this tiny little me in the mirror and I cannot imagine how you still notice me, how you’re mindful of me, how you hear me, what you do for me, why you even do the things you do! Nobody will ever be able to understand your love for me, not even me because you said it- "You have loved me with an everlasting love" – Jerimiah 31:3. That scripture still blows my mind!

I want to THANK YOU and talk a little about the one most precious gift you’ve given me that I want to scream to the rooftops about- MY VOICE!

One little girl, many many years ago will just stand in front of 100s of people and sing a song (she used to cry to her aunties to teach her in the afternoon) at an everyday evening crusade and many hands will applaud in encouragement. Who knew that her Father had a plan?

When I think of those times many years ago, I just smile because only YOU know the end of a matter and the thoughts you think towards us are for good, then to bring us to an expected end- Your expected end (Jeremiah 29:11).

Thank you for giving me a voice! The world can try to steal everything from me but that voice has come to stay and it will do your bidding, bring your glory down, comfort hearts, make your presence known, heal many lives and most of all, give you glory!

*singing* "I wanna scream a little louder than before ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh"

From your sweet little girl,

 xxxxx

To worship YOU I live!

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Want to send a letter to our Daddy? We welcome you to send in yours to oneplustheone@gmail.com (not more than 300 words)... Posts will be published on Fridays! Celebrate Jesus, celebrate His glory in YOU! 

Love YOU - Check your label

I know a lot of ladies who lovee shoes and have an overflowing rack/closet full of them! Some take it a step further and would do almost anything for a pair with a good name - Blahniks, Louboutins, Jimmy Choos, Steigers and Mius. 

I don't need to tell you how much a pair of such cost.. a small fortune most of the time but some people don't mind sacrificing other pleasures to indulge in a pair. Now, in many cases, you would see a very good imitation of a pair of designer shoes and only close inspection will make you the wiser. In fact, you don't even need an imitation, as you could see identical shoes with differing prices and the only obvious difference is the name of the brand.. In many cases, the price is not only about the shoes but the name behind the shoes..

Poor Doggy!

In equal vein, it's time you and I truly check the name of the brand that we carry. Who made you? Who is backing you? 

It's not just about who you see now or what you perceive about who you are, a huge part of your worth is down to the quality of your maker, the strong backing of the name on the label that you carry!

"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." - Genesis 1:27

1. You are not common - You are customised, high grade, made with the best material and loads of attention.. You didn't know that? You need to read the first chapter of the Bible again! God breathe in you.. Like, the ALMIGHTY God put His life inside you, He made you in His own image, after His likeness. While He spoke other creatures into being, He formed you lovingly and breathe in you. He wasn't distracted when He made you, He knew what He was doing. You were not mass produced, God took time with you and when He saw the finished product, He Himself said it was "very good" (Gen 1:31)... The next day, He deserved a break and rested :-) .. Don't ever think or let anyone tell you that you are common or ordinary or that there is nothing special about you.. (Say what?!!)

2. Handle with care, respect and love - Have you seen the way some people hug their designer bags and take extra care to look after their expensive shoes? (When you consider how much you paid for it, it better serve you for longgg! lol). You need to start to respect how incredibly precious you are and treat your body, soul and spirit with the utmost care! Do you know who you are? Like really, do you? Stop permitting anything and anyone mis-handle you, don't dis-respect yourself. Check your label.. You didn't come cheap!

3. You have a purpose - You did not just happen - you weren't made because God had extra material, you were made with a purpose in mind. God was purposeful about you. No matter where you are right now or what your past has been, I want you to understand that God knew what He was doing when He made you. You may have come from a broken home or been termed as 'accidental', a 'mistake' 'useless' 'good-for-nothing'.. Check your label again.. If it reads "Made by Parents" or "Made by Spouse" or "Made by Bully" then you can fret, but if your label reads like mine then you know that if they didnt make you they don't have the power to decide what you were made for or who you are!

Do you know why you need to love yourself? Because you are priceless! When you look in the mirror, you are looking at the product of a Maker with a cast-iron reputation, with years of experience of never making a mistake. His reputation preceeds Him and you can solidly bank on His brand. It's not only about you, it begins with the brand that you carry, the name on your label.

Sadly, if you do not recognise or appreciate your worth, it is easy for someone to tell you otherwise. It is easy for you to mis-handle or maltreat the greatness in you. It is possible for you to live below your potential and not fulfil your purpose. That's a grave tragedy.

Don't do that to yourself, you did not come cheap - take pride in that knowledge, show yourself some good old solid love and be grateful to God for it.... If ever in doubt, check your label again.

PS, Throughout the month of May, we would be focusing on the theme 'Love You'... With a 'Love yourself enough to...' series - Get prepared for new and exciting things by God's grace! :-)

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
Email - oneplustheone@gmail.com
Twitter - @1plustheone
Facebook - www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Chronicles of Sebastian - African Time and God's Time

Time - we never have enough of it, right? "Sorry I don’t have time, I am sooo busy". I hear it all the time; in fact, I use it quite often myself - Ayo can testify :-) While we all struggle at times how to make the best use of our limited time, Germans and Nigerians still have quite different approaches to time and efficiency. As usual, I try to provide some examples and lessons for all of us: 

Sabba Sabba reflects!

1. It’s good to enjoy life.
Once in Nigeria I bought my morning “moi-moi” (cooked beans) and since I was somehow busy, I ate it while walking to my lecture. People stopped me in disbelief and told me basically that in Nigeria, there is NO WAY to eat food in this 'on the go' manner. I was supposed to properly sit down and eat it slowly, or even better, go inside and 'chop' it there. That little incident illustrates one major difference: While most Germans try not to waste time, many Nigerians can enjoy 'the moment'. A great number of Germans are very time-conscious and like to save time whenever they can. We have a lot of 'to go' and 'instant' products that you can enjoy 'sharp sharp', for example coffee or burgers. One thing I liked about Nigeria is that it helped me to calm down and take it easy. People always seemed to have time for a little chat and even if they were late for lectures, they looked rather relaxed than pressured. When I was sitting down to eat (I’ve learnt my lesson! :-)) they often said “You’re enjoying, hey?” - and that is exactly what we need to do sometimes - enjoy, chop life and be grateful for God’s blessings. 

'Chopping life' with the guys :-)

                                                                                                  

2. It’s also good to be reliable and efficient.
In everything, we need balance. We can only enjoy rest once we’ve worked hard. If your whole life is about enjoying, you’re 'in soup'. After a while, I began appreciating people with good 'home training', those who were reliable, not just some 'nice to hang out with' guys who talked about some vague exploits yet kept forgetting their assignments. I felt appreciated by those who kept their word, who showed up on time (at least roughly :-)), who checked on me and, if needed, helped me directly instead of making promises such as “Tomorrow now!”. While I loved the easy-goingness described in 1, some things in Nigeria just took waaaay too long - at least for me: administration (eg registering for exams), waiting for busses to fill up, waiting for people who forget appointments, waiting for people who are not in their office and waiting for many other things. I guess God wanted to test my patience and I sense that I took this spirit of not stressing yourself too much to Germany, thank God-oh :-)!
Still I believe that we can enjoy life more by optimizing some procedures in day-to-day life (e.g. online exam registration), which provides valuable 'real free time'. Being efficient (looking for ways to do things faster, easier and better) and being dependable (“your yes be a yes”) with friends are ways to enjoy life, to honor & serve others and to just feel 'on top of things'. 

                              

3. Be available for interruptions.
Interruptions often annoy us since they might disturb our schedules or our rest. In Nigeria I learnt to see interruptions as God-given opportunities to do good, to connect with people and to be open for surprises. While I can sit in a German library for a whole day without anyone interrupting me, in Nigeria a lot of fellow-students didn’t mind the 'Silence' signposts and asked me “how far” am I doing. Trekking to school sometimes took over an hour (instead of 10mins) because children wanted to play, people wanted to talk and mummies wanted to sell fruits. I’ve met some great strangers just by being open for these interruptions. Sure, sometimes you need to “do quick”, remain focussed and get your work done, but remember that even Jesus openly received interruptions constantly and thereby blessed lots of people.

                             

                               

4. Think in seasons and make good use of them.
Nigeria was a beautiful season of my life I’ll never ever forget. Bearing in mind the short time span that God gave me in Nigeria (just one semester) prompted me to spend my time well, live life to the fullest and cherish each moment. Now I need to focus on my family, friends, studies and ministries here in Germany and doing so helps me to enjoy the present. Oftentimes we yearn either for a nostalgic past or a seemingly brighter future and forget to see the benefits and opportunities of the present season God has put us into. Sometimes people ask me why I am still not getting 'hooked up' and honestly I cannot really come up with a specific reason. I’m enjoying my current season, I sense God is using me somehow and I’m excited at what God has next. My singleness grants me a certain flexibility, for example to travel to Nigeria and to just be 'there', both physically and emotionally. In addition, I can easily say yes to new commitments, friends, spontaneous trips - for more, check out this great article. There is a time for everything and I’d recommend everyone not to rush things too quickly, especially in the area of relationships and singleness. Meditate on Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and let God’s sovereignty over time sink in.

                                  

Whether you struggle with African time, Western stress or unmet desires - ask God to help you redeem the time (Eph 5:16) make the most of each day and each season, by being relaxed, reliable, open and, most of all, sincerely grateful.
Speaking of gratefulness: I want to express my deep gratitude for all the support you’ve shown me so far, I really enjoy reading your comments and being part of this small community. Keep it up and see you next week :-)

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Sabs, says it wonderfully well again and as usual, I was nodding and smiling while reading the post :-).. The last paragraph for me is soo important - Enjoying the current season of your life. There are certain things I expect to have happened in my life right now and if I were the one writing my life story, I know what it would look like right now... It sure would involve a God-ly, tall, handsome, (insert more adjectives here) specimen of a gentleman, a beautiful beach house with a lovely view of the sun - rising and setting, a very healthy looking bank balance that would see me searching for the next project to embark on, jet-setting to different parts of the world impacting lives and spreading the love of Jesus (Do I have to stop dreaming yet? lol) Anyways, you get my drift..

But The One who IS the Author of my life story, has thought it best for me to be in this particular chapter and I would be wasting a very good episode by yearning for what was or what should be, rather than focusing on how much He has blessed me with for today and optimising every single blessing and opportunity. 

What's your story with time? Do you believe (as in really really) believe in the efficacy of God's timing? Do you believe that He has made you in this season of your life for a purpose? Are you grateful to Him for it? Are you grateful that even though you are not where you desire to be yet, you trust that God knows the best for you and it's only a matter of time (irrespective of how 'long' it seems to be taking?). Like Sabs says, I encourage you to enjoy your life now, appreciate the beauty and the blessing of your 'now', and trust God's timing for things to fall into place at His right time :-)

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven" - Ecclesiastes 3:1

For all previous Chronicles of Sebastian posts, please click HERE.. Join Sabba again next week Wednesday..I look forward to what he will be sharing with us!
Please visit Sebastian's blog http://seb2nigeria.wordpress.com/ It's in German but you can use 'Google translate' if English translation is required - Lovely lovely blog!

Remember you can send an email: oneplustheone@gmail.com
Follow on Twitter: @1plustheone
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Waiting and Loving It!!! Feat Kristen and Kris Wolfe

It's with great pleasure that we present to you today's Waiting and Loving It feature!!

I have been greatly inspired by today's couple as I am an avid follower of their individual amazing blogs! www.GoodGuySwag.com and www.SheIsMore.com ... I loved the first post I read on Kris' blog on 'The Wife List: 10 qualities'. Of course I browsed his blog even further and I am proud to say that I am now an avid fan.. I am particularly glad that his blog is for men and focuses on building up Good, God-ly, strong, 'marriage-material' men (hehe)  - it's refreshing to read posts on there! (+ I would definitely be recommending it to my belove-ed!)
I found out about his wife Kristen's blog as well from his blog and I didn't hesitate to go searching too :-) .. I wasn't disappointed at all. She blogs for ladies and her posts are very insightful, honest and down-to-earth. She also wrote a post on 'The Husband List: 12 Non-Negotiables' - Fantastic!

Oh, did I mention that Kristen Dalton Wolfe was crowned Miss USA 2009 and was top ten at Miss Universe 2009? Did I hear you say All-round beauty Queen? Oh yes!

 source

Kris kindly obliged to the invitation to be featured on the Waiting and Loving It series despite their very busy schedules and I am really grateful to him and Kristen for being so generous with their time. Here's what he has to say about them Waiting and Loving It!

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Hiya Kris! Thank you very much for taking out time to share with us on 1 + The One! Could you please tell us a little about yourselves?

Hello everyone, Kristen and I have been married about a year now. We live in Los Angeles, CA. Kristen was Miss USA 2009, and I moved out here for a pharmaceutical sales job. After we got engaged, Kristen introduced me to blogging. One of my first articles, “10 Ways To Win A Girl’s Heart” went viral and that sparked my website GoodGuySwag.com. Kristen started SheIsMore.com and we’ve become a blogging couple.

That's fantastic! Well done, I have been personally blessed and inspired by both your blogs.

Please tell us Kris, how did you and your beautiful wife meet? 

                             

I had seen Kristen on several occasions, but we started talking one night after a bible study. Because she is the most beautiful girl in the world, I was intimidated to talk to her the other times, but this particular night, a courage rose up. I went right up and introduced myself. 

That's nice.. Thank God for courage :-).. What would you say was the initial attraction to her?

On our first date, I knew Kristen was much more than a beauty queen. She’s strong and determined, and knows exactly what she wants. She doesn’t settle for less, and has this desire to encourage women to truly live as daughters of the King. Her beauty on the inside exceeds the beauty on the outside, and that’s what really attracted me to her.

4. That's really lovely, you are a blessed man indeed. Do you know when you realized you just had to spend the rest of your life with her?

                         
When I realized I could spend every waking moment with her and be grateful. 

After our first date, I texted my pastor and told him I had found the woman I would marry. The coming months proved to me that I was right. She had a desire to influence and inspire women and it matched my desire to be the same for men.

After just one date?! That's something! (Note to self, a good guy is purposeful about his relationship with you and knows what he wants, sometimes even right from the very first date!)... 

So Kris what made you and Kristen make the decision to wait?

Kristen made a decision to remain pure at the age of 12. When she revealed to me she was a virgin on our first date I started crying because she told me she wanted to give her husband her greatest gift. We wanted to make an investment in our future and in God by making this commitment.

Was it a struggle? Were you ever tempted to just give up?

When you are passionately in love with someone and the chemistry is off-the-chain, it’s definitely a struggle. We weren’t really tempted to give up because in addition to our desire to honor God through our relationship, we knew we wanted to be role models to the younger generation.

Which is what you are doing right now through your blogs - Great stuff..

Were there any practical measures you took to ensure that you stuck by your decision? 

I don’t know if we had any practical measures. Since Kristen had made a pledge to remain a virgin until marriage, we were both resolute in our decisions.

Marriage in 3 words - Revolution, Adventure, Deeper Love

Now that you are married, is there any advice you would give to your single self in preparation for marriage?

Marriage is two whole people who come together, and become one. It’s not two halves. A marriage cannot complete you. Take care of your issues before you get married. 

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What a great parting shot. Marriage does not complete anybody. What you get in marriage is what you put into it - in terms of the 2 people that are in it. It's the happy, content and fulfilled person before 'I do' that remains after the dotted lines are signed. In the same vein, it is the broken, disatisfied person who dances on the wedding day that remains after the wedding guests leave!

It is soo important to ensure that you take care of YOU before you join yourself to another human being who has a complete personality all by him/herself... You need to love yourself enough before you can give it to someone else. Your single status is a great opportunity to find yourself in God and to know the special being He has made you to be. 

I am also inspired by Kristen's decision from a very young age to honour God and her future husband in waiting to have sex in marriage. I read a feature on their story here 'Is Anyone Really a Virgin Anymore?' .. You should read it too - beautiful! I can only imagine the pressure of being in the limelight and holding on to what is sometimes unfortunately referred to as 'old-fashioned, archaic or extinct'.. 

No matter what has been done in the past or where you have been or are right now, it is important to know that it is very possible to do IT by God's grace and be a great inspiration to others as well.

May God continue to bless the Wolfes!

Please visit their blogs www.SheIsMore.com and www.GoodGuySwag.com
Also follow them on Twitter @Sheismore and @goodguyswagger

"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Him, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass" - Psalm 37:4-5

Do you have any question, please do not hesitate to ask!
Email - oneplustheone@gmail.com
Twitter - @1plustheone
Facebook - www.facebook.com/1plustheone

To read more wonderful Waiting and Loving It features, please click HERE xx

Fallin' in love with YOU!

Hello beautiful people!!!!

I am so sorry I have been MIA.. Apologies from the bottom of the heart for the break and for not posting the regular series last week - Waiting and Loving It + Chronicles of Sebastian.. I have been on a high-level secret mission, taking down bad guys and generally saving the world.. iKid hehe

I will make a fab Super-hero though.. Yes? :-D (Like my Super-Sword? :-D)

Thanks to everyone who checked in via email, twitter and comments.. I am sooo grateful to you.. Thank you for your thoughtfulness and for reaching out, it meant a lot to me and I am grateful *kisses*

I am happy to say that we are BACK by God's grace :-) ...

The month of May makes me so so excited! I don't why, maybe because May is the 5th month of the year and 5 is the number of grace (I love me some grace and favour.. you should too! :-).. Or maybe because I have so many nearest and dearest people born in the month of May including my wonderfully precious Mama et Papa.. or maybe because I sense that there's something absolutely special about this particular month of May.... I think that must be it!

The theme for the blog this month is 'Love YOU'.... A lot of posts on this blog are focused on relationships.. I don't think I have left anyone in doubt that I love love (lol) and that I am personally veryy interested in anything that promotes it and helps people to have fulfilling relationships by God's grace - I am all up for it.. I get all shades of excited just discussing love and tinz lol..

However, I am persuaded that a lot of us need to take a minute from loving others (or looking for someone to love) to actually take a moment to love, appreciate and celebrate who God has made us to be.. Sebastian's post HERE rings so true and I remember again how we sometimes forget to actually LOVE ourselves - to love 'Me', to celebrate the fearfully and wonderfully made creature that God placed on planet earth. To discover the blessings embedded in our DNA in order to ensure that we fulfill ALL that God has called us to be..

This month, we will focus more on falling in love with the unique person that God has made each of us to be and revelling in the wonder that we individually are.

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Aren't you curious about this specie that the Almighty God thought precious enough to lay His life for? Aren't you curious about really knowing how awesomely special you are? Have you ever wondered if what you are doing now is commensurate to the greatness that has been deposited in you.

Do you realise that you cannot give what you don't have? You see, Jesus said "Love your neighbour AS you love yourself".... In order to really really love someone else, you have to first fall in love with YOU..

                                       source

A lot of us desire to be in the best relationships - romantic and platonic - a huge part of that is dependent on the quality of the people in that relationship and that includes YOU. When you love who you are, it becomes easier to give love to others + the quality is much better :-)

So, I welcome you ladies and gentlemen to the month of falling in love with and celebrating YOU! xxxx

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Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

April was great, thank You for the month of May! It looks mighty fine from my vantage point of view  :-D

Please bless everyone who has stopped by at some point or the other to read the blog. Thank You for every single one of them.

Thank You also for everyone who goes the extra mile to leave a comment, engage via Twitter or Facebook and who sends an email. Please send love their way like never before this month in Jesus name.

Thank You because I know that You have great plans for the month of May - I am excited!

Thank You for all the May babies! It's so exciting celebrating the birthday of legends in May! Thank You because two of them were born today David Beckham (yup, I love Him Lord - in a veryy platonic way! lol) and Mmesoma Nwizulams. Please give them each a special birthday surprise.

Thank You for the fab break I had! It was niceeee! Thank You particularly for great friends Lord, how could I ever thank You enough for that?

Thank You most of all for my dearest family - who love me so, I don't know why sometimes :-) .. I am blessed and indeed very grateful Daddy.

Thank You for the gift of life. It is so sad to hear how people lose theirs for reasons that don't make sense at all.. Please Lord, let the killings stop in Nigeria and other parts of the world too.

I want to make a special request Daddy, please let those girls kidnapped from Chibok school be found and returned safely. I honestly cannot imagine how much hurt their families must be going through but I pray Daddy for restoration. Heal our land, give wisdom to the President and all people in positions of authority and at the end of it all, take ALL the glory.

I love You Daddy, thank You through it all.

Your forever girl,
One xx